How to Improve Your Self Esteem and Self Confidence

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Self-Confidence is Sincere
Tools from the Center for New Psychology,
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Transformational Coach, Mentor


We are continuing our search for genuine self-confidence. If you did not read last month’s article on self-esteem here it is:

The Self-Esteem Enhancer Exercise I gave you last month was to help you become more realistic about yourself. Being realistic automatically helps you feel more self-confident. This is because being realistic is the opposite of being defensive.

When you are defensive, you are insecure and weak. You are not accepting some truth about yourself! Therefore, being defensive is a waste of energy. Defensive energy reveals your low self-esteem and does not improve it. It is much wiser to accept your unpleasant qualities and improve them, than it is to defend against them. Or deny them. Or make excuses!

The Self-Esteem Enhancer Exercise:
Being honest, name three positive qualities you possess. Write them down.
Being honest, name three unpleasant qualities about yourself. Write them down.

The facts that you write down will help you achieve genuine self-confidence. Take a look at how comfortable you are with your strengths. They may be as hard, if not harder, to own than your weaknesses. Imagine how good it would feel to accept your True Self with compassion and understanding.

Take a good honest look at what you think of yourself. The qualities you like about yourself could be ego or True Self qualities. For example, you could think highly of yourself about an ego quality that you are always nice to people. On the other hand, you could think you are a bad person because you are assertive with people telling them the truth, which is a True Self quality.

How you think about yourself is based on mental judgments you learned from others. Judgments can be good or bad, or right or wrong. Being “good” is just as unhealthy as being “bad.” Being a “good girl” was the way I tried to achieve self-confidence for the first thirty years of my life. It was quite a wake up to realize my self-confidence was so low because it was based on a “good girl” image and not reality.

To improve your self-confidence, the first thing you need to do is stop being judgmental of yourself. It does not matter whether your qualities are ego or authentic, you need to stop hurting yourself. Remind yourself that you are human and have faults. Of course, you are not always true to yourself. Of course, it takes time to discover and unlearn all the unhealthy stuff you learned from others.

Put your energy into reducing mental judgments against yourself or anyone else.

Notice how often you think you are right or wrong, or good or bad. See if you can stop judging yourself. If not, get help from the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course, which teaches you how to shift out of self-judgments into self-acceptance in a realistic step-by-step fashion.


MANIFEST SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your mental judgments made you anxious so it feels wonderful to reduce them so you relax and have more fun. Ten written lessons show you how to shift out of self-judgment into self-acceptance. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course also includes the three-hour audio series, Opening the Heart, worth $97.00, which helps you love yourself and your emotions. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally:


FIND YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your body is the home of your self-confidence, inner strengths and truths. Get to know your body and enjoy the benefits of freedom and joy. Order “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” a one-hour tele-seminar on body health and body awareness. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: Hear Your Body Talking:


If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:

How to Spring into Holistic Health, Wealth and Happiness

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel Spring Around You.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Energy Coach, Mentor


I often stress the importance of being able to relax because
relaxation is the pathway to physical, mental and emotional health.
However, relaxation is not the only energy you and your body need if
you want to have lots of vibrant moments and holistic health. You
also need to get excited! Spring is here to help you break free.

As I was consciously trying to break free from the chains that bound
me, in the early 1980s, I was out with two friends at a fancy
Philadelphia restaurant enjoying myself. I started to laugh about
something we were talking about at our small, elegant table. It was
so funny and I felt so relaxed that my whole body laughed. Pretty
soon, I was on the edge of my seat and almost fell out of my chair. I
stopped laughing, looked at the people next to me and sat up straight
in my chair feeling embarrassed.

In the natural process of transformation, being relaxed naturally
leads to excitement and joy. So, your natural state is awe. What
stops you from feeling wonder more often? Are you too afraid to let
go of the control thoughts have over you? You may not want to relax
because you are afraid you will embarrass yourself with your
excitement of being alive.

Take a look in the mirror:
Are you aware of your inhibitions?
How do you feel when you get excited?
What judgments do you have in your head about laughing freely?
Are you afraid of making a fool of yourself?

I call my second audio in the three hour Opening the Heart series,
“Fear is the pathway to freedom and joy.” This is because feeling
your real fear naturally leads to your real joy. Real fear grounds
you and keeps you safe. Whereas, feeling anxious leads to no joy and
constant insecurity. Feeling anxious is the state your Killjoy
Monster loves to put you in. Anxiety is precisely how your Inner
Critic keeps you in your chains.

Judgments from your ego create the anxiety in your body that makes
you uptight and insecure. I was extremely judgmental of myself about
being relaxed and letting go of control in a public restaurant. My
Killjoy Monster was telling me I was “loud, inappropriate, rude, out
of control, impolite.” Can you think of any other ways to criticize
my behavior? This incident helped me discover the reason I controlled
myself in the first place: I was afraid of what I would do if I were
free and uninhibited. I would get excited and do something bad, wrong
or embarrassing. Was this true? Was I dealing with a real fear or was
it my irrational anxiety?

Let’s look at the reality of the situation. As I settled back into my
table of friends, I could feel they where not judgmental of me, they
were enjoying me; maybe even envious of my spontaneity and freedom.
My enthusiasm was one of the reasons they liked being with me. The
other people in the restaurant did not appear to be concerned, they
were enjoying themselves. So, my belief was false. My behavior was
not inappropriate. Your Inner Critic could say, there may have been an
Old Grouch somewhere in the restaurant that thought I was, “loud,
inappropriate, rude, out of control, and impolite.”

So? The price you pay for staying in your chains is that there maybe
someone who judges you, somewhere, sometime. Does this fear
outweigh the benefits of breaking free from your chains? Spontaneous
people enjoy enormous benefits! They have health, wealth and
happiness. They do not suffer from depression and anxiety. Relaxed
people connect with others and enjoy healthy relationships, including
good sex.

The best things in life come to you when you are not a Grouch. Get
rid of your Inner Grouch and outside judgments cannot keep you in
your chains. All you have to do is break free of your conditioning
and unlearn your mental judgments. Give yourself permission to get
excited and express your enthusiasm without making yourself wrong.
Fear not, the skill to deal with people who judge you can be learned.
Assertiveness is a necessary skill for personal growth success and
healthy relationships. It is easy to say you are sorry if you unknowingly
step on some toes.

Feel spring and let its exciting energy put a spring in your step.
Breathe in the wonder of spring so your cells laugh with joy. Bloom
like a flower and enjoy the consequences of saying no to your Killjoy
Monster and yes to your True Self. Be in love with life.

You will be smiling all over as a result of all those vibrant moments you spend with bright, yellow daffodils.


LEARN TO RELAX: Be guided through the steps needed to break free of
your conditioning so your Inner Grouch does not stop you. Ten written
lessons teach you how to say no to your Inner Critic and yes to your
True Self. Take the home study course Overcome Anxiety Naturally.
This drug free course has helped hundreds of people say goodbye to
anxiety so they now enjoy the freedom of being themselves. Ten
written lessons and five hours of audio including the Opening the
Heart series. Money-back guarantee. $199.97.

Read more and order:


LEARN ABOUT AWE: Feeling your real fear naturally leads to excitement
and joy. Learn how to ride your real fear energy like a surfer rides a
wave so your fear turns into excitement and joy. The second audio
in the Opening the Heart series, “Fear, the pathway to freedom and
joy” teaches you how to do this. The first audio is “Feelings, the source
of real love,” which teaches you about love. The third is “When You
’re Hurting…,” which heals your past emotional wounds. All three come
together in the Opening the Heart audio and are included in the above
home study for a better bargain. Buy Opening the Heart as a stand
alone product for $97.00. Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:


If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please forward it to friends and
colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty
years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to
unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:

Dr. Doris Jeanette, author of Opening the Heart, Overcome Anxiety Naturally and ten other personal growth products.