The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Self-Confidence is Sincere
Tools from the Center for New Psychology, drjeanette.com
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Transformational Coach, Mentor
We are continuing our search for genuine self-confidence. If you did not read last month’s article on self-esteem here it is: https://thevibrantmoment.com/2019/10/23/how-to-improve-your-self-confidence-and-self-esteem/
The Self-Esteem Enhancer Exercise I gave you last month was to help you become more realistic about yourself. Being realistic automatically helps you feel more self-confident. This is because being realistic is the opposite of being defensive.
When you are defensive, you are insecure and weak. You are not accepting some truth about yourself! Therefore, being defensive is a waste of energy. Defensive energy reveals your low self-esteem and does not improve it. It is much wiser to accept your unpleasant qualities and improve them, than it is to defend against them. Or deny them. Or make excuses!
The Self-Esteem Enhancer Exercise:
Being honest, name three positive qualities you possess. Write them down.
Being honest, name three unpleasant qualities about yourself. Write them down.
The facts that you write down will help you achieve genuine self-confidence. Take a look at how comfortable you are with your strengths. They may be as hard, if not harder, to own than your weaknesses. Imagine how good it would feel to accept your True Self with compassion and understanding.
Take a good honest look at what you think of yourself. The qualities you like about yourself could be ego or True Self qualities. For example, you could think highly of yourself about an ego quality that you are always nice to people. On the other hand, you could think you are a bad person because you are assertive with people telling them the truth, which is a True Self quality.
How you think about yourself is based on mental judgments you learned from others. Judgments can be good or bad, or right or wrong. Being “good” is just as unhealthy as being “bad.” Being a “good girl” was the way I tried to achieve self-confidence for the first thirty years of my life. It was quite a wake up to realize my self-confidence was so low because it was based on a “good girl” image and not reality.
To improve your self-confidence, the first thing you need to do is stop being judgmental of yourself. It does not matter whether your qualities are ego or authentic, you need to stop hurting yourself. Remind yourself that you are human and have faults. Of course, you are not always true to yourself. Of course, it takes time to discover and unlearn all the unhealthy stuff you learned from others.
Put your energy into reducing mental judgments against yourself or anyone else.
Notice how often you think you are right or wrong, or good or bad. See if you can stop judging yourself. If not, get help from the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course, which teaches you how to shift out of self-judgments into self-acceptance in a realistic step-by-step fashion.
MANIFEST SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your mental judgments made you anxious so it feels wonderful to reduce them so you relax and have more fun. Ten written lessons show you how to shift out of self-judgment into self-acceptance. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course also includes the three-hour audio series, Opening the Heart, worth $97.00, which helps you love yourself and your emotions. $199.97, money-back guarantee.
Read more and order: How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
FIND YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your body is the home of your self-confidence, inner strengths and truths. Get to know your body and enjoy the benefits of freedom and joy. Order “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” a one-hour tele-seminar on body health and body awareness. $29.97, money-back guarantee.
Read more and order: Hear Your Body Talking:
If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com.