How to Handle Emotional Distress? Achieve Emotional Health and Wellness

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backyardCenter City, Philadelphia backyard, secured for Hurricane Sandy, 2012.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Weather the Storm.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Live at the Edge:


How prepared are you for stormy weather?
How prepared are you for emotional distress?

For most of us, stormy weather will always occur somewhere in the future forecast.  There could even be a Sandy type hurricane or Oklahoma tornado, right around the corner. This is also true in terms of your emotional health.

No matter what your current emotional health status, emotional distress will show up on your radar.

When I was getting my motorcycle driver’s license in 1987, the teacher said, “It is not a matter of if you will fall off the bike, it is a matter of when you will fall off the bike.” He repeated this several times so that this physical reality soaked into his students’ bones.

This is sage wisdom that you could also take to heart and use to prepare for the next time you experience emotional reality.  It is not a matter of if emotional distress will occur in your life, it is a matter of when you will once again be tossed about by some outside force that you cannot control.

This means you need to be prepared so you can weather the next emotional distress storm that comes your way.  Relationships are not perfect. You are not perfect. Relationships challenge every aspect of your emotional health and wellness.

Often it is the person you love the most who behaves in ways that hurt you the most.

Other people’s behavior affects you and pushes you around.  If you have not shored up your ship ahead of time, you will have a tendency to react, drown and surrender.  In which case, you will probably experience helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety, depression and other mental health problems.

Therefore, you need to develop the ability to weather the emotional distress of others as they rage around you.  You can learn to handle your own emotional distress skillfully so that you flourish instead of flounder during relationship conflicts.

For example, when you experience the negative fallout of another person’s behavior, you could hold steady at the helm.  This means you have the ability to take care of yourself instead of reacting with a knee jerk response.  I hear some of you saying, “How can I possibility do this?  It is unrealistic and not possible.”

Trust me, there is a way and the path is true to emotional health and wellness.  The way to take care of yourself is to be in touch with and stay with your self emotionally through the storm. There are two steps that will make sure you weather the emotional distress storms of life.

The Way to Weather Emotional Distress Storms:

1.  Become aware of the emotional truths that exist as real energy in your heart and body.
2.  Act on your emotional truths as soon as you have the courage to do so.

The first step is awareness. When you know what you really feel, want and need, you are in a position where you could use your power. You have the knowledge needed to take care of yourself if you so choose.  If you don’t know what you really feel, want and need, you cannot do anything to protect yourself from outside factors.  Lack of emotional awareness results in helplessness, insecurity and low self-esteem.

The second step is to develop the assertive skills needed to act on the behalf of your emotional truths.  If you take the actions needed to take care of yourself during the storm, you will move out of emotional distress into calmer weather.  Being assertive ensures that your needs are meet and your desires are honored.

You can definitely hold the helm in a steadfast manner as others react around you. When you use your assertive relationship skills with others, you feel good.  When you are effective, you feel strong and sturdy.  The benefit is more self-confidence and emotional security.

Learn to handle emotional distress by taking care of yourself emotionally through any type of weather.


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BECOME AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS:  Read and study the Amazon E-book, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional health information will help discover your emotional truths. You do not have to own a kindle, just download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

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Definition of Self-Actualization: 12 Traits of The Self-Actualized Person

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Self-actualization is when you bloom like this flower.



Flower in front of Center City, Philadelphia home, May, 2013.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Realize Thyself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Do you long to be free, happy, healthy and fulfilled?

The original Indian Yoga masters taught people how to reach self-realization though spiritual practice.  An American psychologist, Abraham Maslow reintroduced this idea to the psychological community in the 1950’s by observing how some people had reached a healthy psychological state he called self-actualization.

As a child, I spent hundreds of hours on the long school bus ride from my farm house to school, dreaming of what I wanted my life to look like.  I did not want to work from morning till night and have very little fun like my parents. I wanted to live an exciting, interesting life full of fun.

Therefore, when I read Maslow’s description of a self-actualized person in my college psychology course, I knew I was on a definite path to be the best self I could be.  You too, can get on the pathway that leads to a self-actualized person.

Here are 12 traits of The Self-Actualized Person to inspire you to continue your personal growth, accelerate your investment in your professional development or get started on your pathway to self-actualization.

Notice which traits you already have and feel proud of your personal growth success.  Then start working on the traits that you need to develop in yourself.  Enjoy the process of adding new, healthy self-actualization traits that enhance your self-esteem and make your life meaningful and enjoyable.

12 Traits of The Self-Actualized Person

1.  Realistic and likes the unknown
2.  Accepts self and others, does not judge self and others
3.  Spontaneous, natural, genuine
4.  Happy alone and with others
5.  Independent and self-sufficient
6.  Highly ethical and moral
7.  Does not let culture, religion or government dictate actions
8.  Has a good sense of humor
9.  Lives a creative life
10. Does not have unhealthy attachments to people or ideas
11. Has a global vision, not self-centered
12. Enjoys peak experiences

The Vibrant Moment exists to help you acknowledge, use and express your unique human potential so that you reach self-actualization. When you move toward self-realization your problems, pains and blocks fall away behind you and trouble you no more.

Let the flow be with you.

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ACCEPT YOURSELF: You can learn to accept and love yourself and others.  Read and study the Amazon E-book, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional health information will help you be happy alone and with others. You do not have to own a kindle, just download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

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NEED HELP GETTING RID OF JUDGMENT?  Judgment is learned and you can unlearn judgmental self-rejection. Judgment stands in the way of self-acceptance and self-actualization. Listen to the personal growth audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment,” to help you become more self-actualized. One hour, $27.97. Money back guarantee.

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Get a free personal growth audio, “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview,” worth $29.97 if you order by Monday, May 27.

Depression Help, Sexual Problem Natural Treatment: Trust Energy

The Lewis Brothers Bluegrass Band being enjoyed by young and old in Philadelphia, PA at Filter Square Park, May 2013, photographed by Doris Jeanette










The Vibrant Moment –  Trust your energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Health, Psychology Mentor

Do you inhibit your energy and try to control it?
Or do you let your energy flow naturally and normally?

I have a new male client who is a musician. This gives me a chance to use musical metaphors to help him with his depression and sexual problems.  For example, I know if he can let go and play music on the stage, he can let go and make love with his new partner.

Many women and men, gay and straight, have sexual problems and depression because they do not trust the flow of their own human energy.  After the first session with my new client, I discovered that he feels safe playing music on the stage. This means he trusts his energy when he is playing music.

However, he does not trust the flow of his human energy when he is with someone he is emotionally and sexually attracted to.  Somehow, he learned to inhibit his sexual energy so much that he cannot perform in intimate, sexual situations.  He is too scared to let go of control with his partner even though he is as safe and secure as he is when he is playing music on stage.

Since I am a holistic psychologist, my job is to get to the root of what is blocking his natural healthy energy in sexual situations as quickly as I can. Once I uncover the source, I will teach him how to unlearn his inhibiting response and transform his distrust into a healthy letting go response.

When he learns to trust his energy in emotional and sexual situations, he will be able to play beautiful music with his new love.  I also know that when he is comfortable receiving pleasure, his depression will disappear.

Give Yourself a Natural Health Check Up:

Write down a list of all the places you do trust your energy and let it flow naturally.
Write down a list of all the places you do not trust your energy and try to control it.
Survey the list and see if you notice any patterns, trends and insights.

Let the flow be with you.


TRUST YOUR ENERGY: You can learn to feel safe letting go of control. Trusting the natural flow of your feelings and emotions will improve your relationship, sexual and mental health problem. If you are serious about achieving emotional health, read the Amazon E-book, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional energy healing information will help you heal and follow your emotional self to natural health and wellness. You do not have to own a kindle, download a reader to your IPad or computer. Only $3.99.

Read more and order:
“HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.”

TRUST YOUR MALE ENERGY: Take the home study course, “For Men: Become a Better Lover – How to Have a Better Sex Life.”  10 written lessons plus five hours of audio teach you how to reduce your anxiety and distrust so you can receive pleasure.  Body exercises help you relax into your body and stay there during sexual and emotional situations. Money back guarantee, $199.97.

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Learned Helplessness? Treat Depression and Sexual Problems with Baby Love

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Feel helpless.
Personal Growth Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Live at the Edge:


Do you have any sensory memories of being a baby? Can you empathize with your real, in the flesh, past history of being a bundle of joy?

Once upon a time your physical reality was as a baby.  Babies are helpless. When a baby’s needs are met, they are a bundle of joy.  You can see, feel, taste, hear and smell the good vibrations coming off of human babies.

“Baby Love” became the Supremes’ number one Motown song because it reminded us of the joys and benefits of being a baby.

Being comfortable with the baby part of you means you:
Relax and receive what you need to be physically strong and healthy.
Love other people easily and sweetly.
Enjoy being in the moments of your life.

Babies are fully in the moment. Therefore, babies radiate mucho vital energy in all directions so they live in vibrant moments.  This means being able to access your baby self is good for your holistic health and wellness.  As a matter of fact, being in the moment and radiating healthy energy is essential for good physical and mental health.

How often do you allow yourself to feel helpless like a baby?  Probably not very often.  If you are like most people, helplessness is a feeling you defend against because it makes you feel very, very uncomfortable.

This week when I was joyfully moving my large house plants outside into my backyard, I found evidence of new water damage in my house. The crumbling wall was proof that the last roofer I hired to fix my slow, occasional water leak had not fixed my ongoing water problem.  I felt like crying.  I felt inadequate, impotent and helpless.

Do a Personal Growth Check Up.

When you feel helpless, sometimes you really are helpless and sometimes you are not really helpless.  It really does not matter.  You need to allow yourself to feel helpless when you feel helpless if you want to be achieve holistic health and wellness.

How often do you let go and let yourself feel helpless?  Can you remember the last time? In reality, you really are helpless about many situations, events and actions taken by other people, governments and religions.

Next, notice how often you defend against your feelings of helplessness.   Defensive behavior means you do something to avoid your feelings of helplessness. When you avoid your feelings of helplessness, you cannot access the benefits of being your baby self.

After finding my water damage, I felt helpless for a couple of hours as I went about my spring cleaning.  By dinner time I was not feeling helpless and I could talk about the problem.   After a delicious, relaxing dinner, I sat down at my computer and wrote my roofer an email telling him about the new leak and asked him to come by and help me.

If I had defended against my feelings of helplessness, my psychological experience of life would have been much different.  When you defend against something, you spend massive amounts of energy to avoid feeling what you really feel.

In a defensive state, you obsess about the problem or repress the problem.  You go to bed anxious and uncomfortable and do not know the real reason you feel so bad.  You are unconscious, numb and grey. You could become very depressed and not not want to get out of bed.

On the other hand, if you let yourself feel helpless, soon you move forward.  In my situation, I was not really helpless.  I took positive assertive action and my expert roofer came by Monday afternoon and we had a good time connecting as he did his exploratory work.

However, sometimes you really are helpless.  In some situations, your assertive actions cannot change realty because you do not have any power to effect the outcome.  When this occurs, you move forward as you feel your helplessness, let go and accept reality.

So access your Baby Love Self. Helpless or not, love your relaxed and receptive state for stellar holistic health and wellness.  Get your energy grooving by singing along with Elvis Presley, “SANTA BRING MY BABY BACK TO ME.”


LOVE YOUR BABY LOVE SELF: Get help feeling your authentic feelings and emotions when you read the Amazon Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This heart healing information will help you find, accept, heal and follow your baby self to stellar holistic health and wellness. Read on your kindle or download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

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“HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” by Dr. Doris Jeanette


DEPRESSED? Learn about learned helplessness, helplessness and how you can unlearn your defensive response to life.  Study the personal growth audio, “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free.” One hour audio $29.97, money back guarantee.

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Free Self-Help Audio: Order,”Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free”  by Monday, May 13 and get a free self help audio. Order now and get, “Break the Grip of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview,” a one hour natural anxiety treatment audio worth $29.97. Mention The Vibrant Moment to get free audio.


Love and Relationship Advice: Use Body Language to Improve Self-Esteem and Personal Growth

Follow Doris Jeanette on Twitter: in the mirror and expose your denial.

Personal Growth Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Denial is your worst enemy.  Denial can be the difference between successful personal growth and unsuccessful personal growth. Denial lowers your self-esteem and ruins relationships.

What is Denial?

Denial is when you think one thing and another thing is real in physical form.  Denial is when you have an image of yourself that is not based in reality. This image can be a puffed up perfect image of yourself or a low self-esteem image.

In my audio series, “Opening the Heart,” I use the example of my Philadelphia trolley driver.  The trolley driver was ferociously biting his fingernails as he was driving me to the sound studio where I recorded the heart healing audio series. He did not seem to have any awareness of what his teeth were doing to the tips of his fingers.

The communication the trolley driver’s body was sending to the world was crystal clear.  An educated person could look at his behavior and see what his body was communicating.  Reading his body language it was obvious his unconscious act of biting his fingernails meant he was extremely anxious at that moment in time.

Yet, if I had asked the Philadelphia trolly driver if he was anxious, he would probably say, “No, I am not anxious. I am not afraid of anything. I drive this trolley everyday. There is nothing to be afraid of.”

However, his body was clearly communicating to an educated observer that he was in a highly anxious state as he was driving his trolley.  The driver was denying he had high anxiety, yet his nervous system was extremely upset.

Is Your Denial Destroying Your Personal Development?

If you have not been getting the results that you want or need, consider the possibility that you could be stuck in denial.  If you have not been able to relax and feel close to others so you can reach your relationship goals, look around for your denial.

Denial is a total waste of energy. It keeps you from knowing that you are anxious.  Every single human being on the planet right now has some degree of anxiety in their nervous system.  Therefore, if you are not in touch with your anxiety level, as it comes and goes on a daily basis, then you are in denial.

It is only logical that you cannot do anything to become less anxious until you admit that you are anxious! This means you need to expose your denial so your personal growth pays out big dividends. Expose your denial so you can relax, be close with others and enjoy life.

How to Expose Your Denial?

If you consider the physical information around you, your personal growth will immediately become wildly successful.  This is because feedback from the real world exposes psychological denial.

One of the first things I did when my heart was broken at the age of 34 was look in the mirror.  Mirrors give you concrete feedback that you can learn to see and use for your personal development.  The image in the mirror is reality. Reality destroys denial.

It does not matter what you think or what you tell yourself, your physical body reveals the truth. To overcome denial, begin by observing your body and pay attention to what your body is actually doing in real time.

Body Exercise to Break Through Denial:

Looking in the mirror can be extremely helpful. Look at yourself to see physical feedback about what is happening in your nervous system. See if you can tell how you are really feeling inside.

Other people look at you all the time.

It is to your advantage to see what others are seeing. Take off all your clothes and stand in front of a full length mirror.  Look at yourself in the mirror for a good five minutes. If you cannot do this exercise without your clothes, start with your clothes on.

1.  Look at your whole body from the front.
2.  Turn and look at the back of your body.
3.  Now look at both sides of your body.
4.  Pay attention to your face, what do you see?
5.  How is your face attached to your body?
6.  If your face separate or part of your body?
6.  Write down all the places you see tension in your body.
7.  Write down all the mental judgments you notice in your head.

Admitting the truth to yourself about what you see and how you feel standing naked in front of a mirror will help you begin to give up denial.  To make dramatic progress, enjoy a daily practice of stopping to look at who is in the mirror.

The faster you give up denial, the faster you will be able to accept and love yourself–just as you are, naked and real.  Say goodbye to denial and ego images, they don’t improve your self-esteem or help you make love.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and comments below.


LISTEN TO YOUR BODY: Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Learn to listen to the communications your body is screaming at you.  Yes, your body is screaming. Order “Hear Your Body Talking,” one hour personal growth audio for $29.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order “Hear Your Body Talking”:

Order “Hear Your Body Talking” by Sunday May 5 and get the one hour audio, “How to Read Body Language.” This introduction to how to read body language is from a class I taught a few years ago. It is a very helpful guide to learning how to read body language. Worth $49.97. You must mention The Vibrant Moment to get the free audio.


FOR MEN: BECOME A BETTER LOVER: A anxiety reduction course to help you relax and become more self-confident as an emotional and physical lover. You can feel good and experience more love by learning how to give and receive physical and emotional love with self-esteem. 6 hours of audio and 10 written lessons. $199.97

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FOR WOMEN: If you want to improve your ability to give and receive physical and emotional love, take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. This course reduces general anxiety although it does not specifically address sexual anxiety.

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Human Energy Tune Up: Want to improve your self-esteem or love making skills? Learn to read the energy around you and between you and others.  Private Energy Retreats teach you how to real body language and sense the human energy data that exists in physical reality. You need to know physical reality to improve your self-esteem and love relationship skills. Enjoy a retreat alone or as a couple.

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