Love and Relationship Advice: Use Body Language to Improve Self-Esteem and Personal Growth

Follow Doris Jeanette on Twitter: in the mirror and expose your denial.

Personal Growth Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Denial is your worst enemy.  Denial can be the difference between successful personal growth and unsuccessful personal growth. Denial lowers your self-esteem and ruins relationships.

What is Denial?

Denial is when you think one thing and another thing is real in physical form.  Denial is when you have an image of yourself that is not based in reality. This image can be a puffed up perfect image of yourself or a low self-esteem image.

In my audio series, “Opening the Heart,” I use the example of my Philadelphia trolley driver.  The trolley driver was ferociously biting his fingernails as he was driving me to the sound studio where I recorded the heart healing audio series. He did not seem to have any awareness of what his teeth were doing to the tips of his fingers.

The communication the trolley driver’s body was sending to the world was crystal clear.  An educated person could look at his behavior and see what his body was communicating.  Reading his body language it was obvious his unconscious act of biting his fingernails meant he was extremely anxious at that moment in time.

Yet, if I had asked the Philadelphia trolly driver if he was anxious, he would probably say, “No, I am not anxious. I am not afraid of anything. I drive this trolley everyday. There is nothing to be afraid of.”

However, his body was clearly communicating to an educated observer that he was in a highly anxious state as he was driving his trolley.  The driver was denying he had high anxiety, yet his nervous system was extremely upset.

Is Your Denial Destroying Your Personal Development?

If you have not been getting the results that you want or need, consider the possibility that you could be stuck in denial.  If you have not been able to relax and feel close to others so you can reach your relationship goals, look around for your denial.

Denial is a total waste of energy. It keeps you from knowing that you are anxious.  Every single human being on the planet right now has some degree of anxiety in their nervous system.  Therefore, if you are not in touch with your anxiety level, as it comes and goes on a daily basis, then you are in denial.

It is only logical that you cannot do anything to become less anxious until you admit that you are anxious! This means you need to expose your denial so your personal growth pays out big dividends. Expose your denial so you can relax, be close with others and enjoy life.

How to Expose Your Denial?

If you consider the physical information around you, your personal growth will immediately become wildly successful.  This is because feedback from the real world exposes psychological denial.

One of the first things I did when my heart was broken at the age of 34 was look in the mirror.  Mirrors give you concrete feedback that you can learn to see and use for your personal development.  The image in the mirror is reality. Reality destroys denial.

It does not matter what you think or what you tell yourself, your physical body reveals the truth. To overcome denial, begin by observing your body and pay attention to what your body is actually doing in real time.

Body Exercise to Break Through Denial:

Looking in the mirror can be extremely helpful. Look at yourself to see physical feedback about what is happening in your nervous system. See if you can tell how you are really feeling inside.

Other people look at you all the time.

It is to your advantage to see what others are seeing. Take off all your clothes and stand in front of a full length mirror.  Look at yourself in the mirror for a good five minutes. If you cannot do this exercise without your clothes, start with your clothes on.

1.  Look at your whole body from the front.
2.  Turn and look at the back of your body.
3.  Now look at both sides of your body.
4.  Pay attention to your face, what do you see?
5.  How is your face attached to your body?
6.  If your face separate or part of your body?
6.  Write down all the places you see tension in your body.
7.  Write down all the mental judgments you notice in your head.

Admitting the truth to yourself about what you see and how you feel standing naked in front of a mirror will help you begin to give up denial.  To make dramatic progress, enjoy a daily practice of stopping to look at who is in the mirror.

The faster you give up denial, the faster you will be able to accept and love yourself–just as you are, naked and real.  Say goodbye to denial and ego images, they don’t improve your self-esteem or help you make love.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and comments below.


LISTEN TO YOUR BODY: Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Learn to listen to the communications your body is screaming at you.  Yes, your body is screaming. Order “Hear Your Body Talking,” one hour personal growth audio for $29.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order “Hear Your Body Talking”:

Order “Hear Your Body Talking” by Sunday May 5 and get the one hour audio, “How to Read Body Language.” This introduction to how to read body language is from a class I taught a few years ago. It is a very helpful guide to learning how to read body language. Worth $49.97. You must mention The Vibrant Moment to get the free audio.


FOR MEN: BECOME A BETTER LOVER: A anxiety reduction course to help you relax and become more self-confident as an emotional and physical lover. You can feel good and experience more love by learning how to give and receive physical and emotional love with self-esteem. 6 hours of audio and 10 written lessons. $199.97

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FOR WOMEN: If you want to improve your ability to give and receive physical and emotional love, take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. This course reduces general anxiety although it does not specifically address sexual anxiety.

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Read and order option number 2:

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