The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Stop Reacting.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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A neuroscientist at the UC Irvine School of Medicine, Dr. James Fallon is an expert on the minds of psychopaths. His research on the brains of psychopaths resulted in his own brain being analyzed without his knowledge. When he found out his brain looks just like the brain of psychopaths, he did not freak out and refuse to accept the data.

Instead, he started to ask his family and friends about his personality and behavior. Psychopaths have an antisocial personality and they do not empathize with others. When he asked his wife and children, they surprised him. His wife said, “You are lacking in empathy.” His children told him, “You are not there emotionally.”

Checking out the feedback you receive is how you need to respond when you get outside data. Do not discount the data, take it to heart and see what is true and what is not true. Listen to what others say and receive it. The moment you get outside data is the moment you can make huge changes for the better. This is one reason a good psychologist or mentor is worth every penny.

While Dr. Fallon is acting kinder, he still reports that he does not feel kind. For success, he needs to feel kind and not just act kind, but at least he is making the attempt to become more loving. Being open to the truth about himself is the first step toward creating better relationships.

If you want better relationships you must also stop reacting defensively when you get feedback from others. Listening to others is one of the major ways you can successfully create healthy, loving relationships. Giving up your defensive reactions is the best way to prevent divorce and break-ups.

Acting kinder toward others is not the way to be successful in becoming more empathic and loving. What you must do is unlearn self-rejection and learn how to feel kinder toward yourself.

When you feel kind toward yourself, you will not have any trouble feeling kinder toward others. Others feel you and respond to you in kind.

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PREVENT DIVORCE AND BREAK-UPS: If you are divorced and suffering a heartache from a break up, you need help in understanding what happened so you prevent future pain and hurt. This report gives you seven steps to take to be successful in healing your current heartache so you become emotionally secure and self-confident. If you take these seven steps you prevent painful break-ups and divorce. Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up” 13 pages; $9.97; PDF format. Money-back guarantee

Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up:”
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BE KINER TOWARD YOURSELF: To access your kindness, read the shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of feeling your way through life.

Order your copy for $2.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Create and Enjoy Breakthroughs!
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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A client arrived at my door smiling and happy. “I can’t wait to tell you the good news. I am a different person,” she beamed. And indeed, she did beam. When we sat down face to face, she told me all about how her obsessive-compulsive behaviors were fifty percent better after our last session.

Due to my highly empathic nature I was also beaming… and learning. I wanted to know exactly what happened in the last session that was so effective. She had shared a traumatic event in her life that she had shared before. What had occurred during the last session that created this sudden, dramatic change for the better? I am always curious about the essential ingredients of transformation.

From my point of view she has shared more details, more pain and Ah, I remembered how she moved her hands just so and showed me. The body, maybe her body was more involved? Maybe she actually felt her emotions more in her heart and soul?

She tried to answer my questions. “I don’t know. When I go to wash my hands, I remember I don’t have to.” We talked about Lady Macbeth washing her hands over and over in an unconscious state of distress and what a brilliant psychologist Shakespeare was …

“What I thought was true was not true.” Umm, this sounds important, I perked up. She somehow discovered for sure that her belief was false. We had talked about her magical thinking over and over again. But what happened that proved to her that her belief was really, really, false?

She was more honest in sharing with me her pain, helplessness, and complete confusion. Aha! Yes, her mental confusion was expressed much more clearly and that was when her hands were telling her story with such depth. Maybe this was the essential factor in her current breakthrough! She had been too embraced to tell anyone the truth, even me.

Her mental confusion was the result of the bigger, stronger, outside attacking force. Her emotional honestly allowed me to validate with more vigor, yes, the outside forces were attacking and hurting her. But the important factor may have been that this time she confessed more of what she had been too ashamed to admit before. Sharing her embarrassing, irrational thought patterns allowed me to correct deeper levels of her fuzzy thinking.

Fuzzy thinking is one of the major obstacles to success in personal and professional growth. Fuzzy thinking is The Reason most people do not make and keep enough money on hand! Fuzzy thinking is hard to expose and clear up. Take actions to clear up your fuzzy thinking as soon as you can for better results and exciting breakthroughs!

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WANT TO THINK MORE CLEARLY? With all the fuzzy thinking in the world, it is hard to get clear about what is false and not false. You cannot expose your false beliefs to yourself. You have to have some outside help in getting clear so your fuzzy thinking can be corrected. My mentor of many years helped me with my fuzzy thinking. Wow, am I glad! You can also learn from Marcia Yudkin author of twelve books. Listen to our teleseminar about Marcia’s “Six Principles to Clear Business Thinking.” Learn six, simple principles to repeatedly use to get what you want and need–even money! Money-back guarantee. Yelp, cost is $29.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/marcia.html

Summer Bonus: Order by Sunday, July 19 and get a free personal growth audio of your choice from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html Must mention The Vibrant Moment in check out box to get bonus.
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FEEL YOUR EXPERIENCE: To access your feelings, read the shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of feeling your way through life.

Order your copy for $2.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Take Care of Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you taking care of others?

Both of my parents taught me to take care of them. Neither of them taught me how to take care of myself. If I had to pick the one most important false belief you need to unlearn, it would be: In order to be loved you must take care of others.

I spent the first thirty-four years of my life paying attention to others. I noticed what I thought they wanted and needed. Then I did what I thought they wanted and needed. The Southern culture really adds fuel to the idea that you are born to take care of others.

Everyone’s “feelings” get “hurt” down south. You have to walk around on egg shells to make sure you do not hurt someone’s “feelings.” Now, I admit there are some mighty sensitive people down south, but is it really my job to inhibit my thoughts, feelings, and behavior so I do not hurt their “ego?”

I was the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect wife, and of course, the perfect psychologist. Pleasing others seemed to work just fine, until I lost the love I thought I had secured. The rug was pulled out from under me even though I trusted that I was loved because I did such a great job of taking care of my lover.

I did not know that taking care of others makes you dependent, unhappy, resentful, bitter, needy, greedy, weak, and sick. A resentful person is not any fun to be around. No, everyone wants to run away from you and finally they do! Caretakers are often left in the dust wondering what went wrong?

Taking care of others hurts the people you are taking care of just as much as it hurts you. Love has nothing to do with care-taking behavior. When you love someone you help them but you do not do for them what they need to do for themselves. This is especially true with children. Parents need to show their children how to take care of themselves by taking care of themselves!

When you are around people who take care of themselves, you are free to be yourself. You do not have to walk on eggshells and inhibit behaviors. You can relax and be yourself. If you happen to truly hurt someone’s feelings, you apologize and promise to be more sensitive.

There is a huge difference between hurting someone’s ego and hurting someone’s emotional self. Being mean hurts others. Being yourself does not hurt others. Feel the difference. Take action steps that lead to unlearning the false belief that no one will love you if you do not take care of them.

People love you when you let them close to you so they feel the sensitive emotional person that you are. You are lovable without having to do anything. Love is free and has no strings.

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TAKE CARE OF YOUR HIGHLY SENSITIVE SELF: Move beyond your ego defensive reactions into taking care of your sensitive self. Get help with being overwhelmed and confused so you accept, love, and protect your sensitive nature. Order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Get the facts about your highly sensitive nature as well as tons of support and encouragement to be yourself and shine. PDF, 31 pages, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html
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TAKE CARE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you how to find, accept, and love your sensitive, emotional self. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order your copy for $3.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Protect Your Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader asks, “What is Sexual Health and how can I improve it?”

Last week I offered you a full-bodied, holistic psychology definition of sexual health. If you are sexually healthy you are mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy. Do not waste time, money, and energy, take appropriate actions that slowly and surely begin to improve your sexual health. Read What is Sexual Health if you missed it: https://thevibrantmoment.com/?p=1528

Ok, onward to the second part of the answer. How can you improve your sexual health?

An effective way to improve your sexual health is to learn how to relax your body so you feel your body feelings, physical sensations, and energy. The problem is, you may be afraid to relax your body. If you relax your body, your sexual energy automatically surfaces. Therefore, you may become anxious when you try to relax, or become relaxed, because you are afraid of the potency of your sexual energy.

The second most important way to improve your sexual health is to learn how to feel your emotional feelings. You may also be afraid to feel your emotions. Most people are. This is the reason our entire species is emotionally immature. You have been taught to avoid, deny, and hate your emotions.

The only reason I can find to justify such an incredibly strong self-destructive response is that our species is terrified of the powerful, vital energy in Pandora’s box. Therefore, you must overcome your fear and anxiety of your emotions before you feel safe enough to allow your vital energy to flow.

If you already feel comfortable letting go of control, go ahead and do it! You will be successful in reaching sexual health when you physically and emotionally love yourself. Your sexual energy will flow throughout your body making all your cells happy and healthy. Your healthy emotional expression will make your energy field glow with radiant energy. You enjoy abundant holistic health.

However, if you cannot let go of control with comfort, then you must ease your way into relaxing and feeling safe in your body. You need to put your toe into the deep water of emotions and check these colorful energies out before you dive in and float. You must know how to protect yourself before you can achieve sexual health.

Last week I suggested you, “Pay attention to how you relate to your sexual self. Is she or he “in the closet, hiding from you?” Or are you in love with your sexual self, protecting this part of you from inner or external judgments? Just notice, do not make yourself wrong about what you notice.”

If you did the exercise I am sure you exposed one or more of the mental judgments you have in your head that attack you and your sexuality. It is your judgmental thoughts that keep you in control so that you do not do anything “bad” or “wrong.”

I do not want you to do anything bad or wrong either. However, I do want to free you of the chains of control you have around your sexuality so you achieve magnificent sexual health. Children and adults need to feel their body and live in it for good mental and physical health. Children and adults need to feel their emotions to know what is real and true.

Please, replace your mental judgments with self-love so you begin to directly experience the true nature of your sexual energy. Your sexual energy is nothing but spiritual energy that you are trying to control and cannot control.

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IMPROVE YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH: Relax into your body so you feel your body feelings and pleasurable sensations slowly and securely. A successful, step-by-step, body approach shows you how to get into your body feelings and feel comfortable being turned on and alive. As you reduce your anxiety, your sexual energy increases and you feel so good, secure, and strong. Become master of your sexual energy so you have better sex and loving relationships. Order the home study course, “For Men: Become a Better Lover – How to Have a Better Sex Life,” 10 written lessons, seven hours of audio, $249.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “For Men: Become a Better Lover – How to Have a Better Sex Life.” http://www.drjeanette.com/becomeabetterlover.html

For Women. Reduce your anxiety and enjoy being turned on and loved. The same general anxiety reduction material in the home study course for men is included in the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course although it is not specifically geared toward sexual anxiety. Order “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” five hours of emotional health audio and ten written lessons, $199.97. Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “Overcome Anxiety Naturally.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

SUMMER BONUS: Order either home study course before Sunday, July 5 and get fifteen minutes of free email sessions to help you stay on course and be successful, worth $50.00.

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FEELING GUILTY? Guilt and shame are the two major ways you control your sexual energy. Both are deadly in stopping the natural, healthy flow of sexual and emotional energy. Get the support and help you need to break free from guilt and live a guilt-free life. Order the self-help audio “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment.” One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

SUMMER BONUS: Order “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment” before Sunday, July 5 and get the free self-help audio, “Tame Your Thoughts” worth $29.97 for free. Must mention The Vibrant Moment in check out box to get free audio. http://www.drjeanette.com/tameyourthoughts.html

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FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS: The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing sexual energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order your copy for $3.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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