How to Stop Defensive, Reactive Behavior From Hurting You

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Stop Reacting.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Body-Emotions-Energy Teacher

Notice the difference between reacting to a real event and receiving
the real event. Reacting is a knee jerk response; it means you have
been conditioned to respond in a certain way. You get your back up.
Literally. Your tight back helps you become aware that you are
reacting. Your body is the key to awareness. The first step in
unlearning any unhealthy behavior is to be aware that you are doing

So, how do you know you are reacting?

Reacting is full of anxiety. Anxiety is static in your nervous system.
As a result of anxiety, your body becomes tight and you become weak
and powerless. You enter a defensive state instead of a being in a
strong, secure state. Being defensive is the weakest state you can be in.
When you are in the middle of reacting and being defensive it is often
hard to know what is going on. Best to look around for some reliable
outside data.

Thank goodness, there is immediate data, which can prove to you what
is going on. When you are not breathing fully into your lungs, you
are unconscious. Not breathing often means that you are defensive.
Take a deep breath and see if you can keep breathing. If you keep
breathing you will become stronger and more secure. Check more data
by paying attention to your physical body. Your physical body reveals
the truth, it cannot lie. Are you able to feel your body? If you
cannot feel your body, you are reacting.

To stop reacting, keep breathing fully into your lungs and touch both
knees with both hands. Knees are easy to reach and socially acceptable
to touch. You can touch any part of your body to bring you back into
reality. When you are breathing and aware of your body, feel how much
stronger and more secure you feel.

You can unlearn your reactions to life and learn how to relax and
receive reality. Sometimes the reality you are receiving is another
person having a reaction! Notice what they are doing and keep
breathing. Say an inner “no” to their reaction and keep your breath and
body awareness. Go take care of yourself so you have a nice day.


body, the less you let others upset you. The home study course,
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get you into your body so you stop letting your reactions control you.
These body exercises have helped thousands become less defensive
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LEARN TO READ ENERGY: Discover the difference between your
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LEARN TO READ BODY LANGUAGE: Perceive reality and question your
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Introduction to Body Language: Authentic Communication. Instead of
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If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and
colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty
years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to
unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:

Doris Jeanette, Psy.D.
Author of Opening the Heart and 15 other self care products.