How to Develop Self-Confidence by Doing Something Different

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Take Care of Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you taking care of others?

Both of my parents taught me to take care of them. Neither of them taught me how to take care of myself. If I had to pick the one most important false belief you need to unlearn, it would be: In order to be loved you must take care of others.

I spent the first thirty-four years of my life paying attention to others. I noticed what I thought they wanted and needed. Then I did what I thought they wanted and needed. The Southern culture really adds fuel to the idea that you are born to take care of others.

Everyone’s “feelings” get “hurt” down south. You have to walk around on egg shells to make sure you do not hurt someone’s “feelings.” Now, I admit there are some mighty sensitive people down south, but is it really my job to inhibit my thoughts, feelings, and behavior so I do not hurt their “ego?”

I was the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect wife, and of course, the perfect psychologist. Pleasing others seemed to work just fine, until I lost the love I thought I had secured. The rug was pulled out from under me even though I trusted that I was loved because I did such a great job of taking care of my lover.

I did not know that taking care of others makes you dependent, unhappy, resentful, bitter, needy, greedy, weak, and sick. A resentful person is not any fun to be around. No, everyone wants to run away from you and finally they do! Caretakers are often left in the dust wondering what went wrong?

Taking care of others hurts the people you are taking care of just as much as it hurts you. Love has nothing to do with care-taking behavior. When you love someone you help them but you do not do for them what they need to do for themselves. This is especially true with children. Parents need to show their children how to take care of themselves by taking care of themselves!

When you are around people who take care of themselves, you are free to be yourself. You do not have to walk on eggshells and inhibit behaviors. You can relax and be yourself. If you happen to truly hurt someone’s feelings, you apologize and promise to be more sensitive.

There is a huge difference between hurting someone’s ego and hurting someone’s emotional self. Being mean hurts others. Being yourself does not hurt others. Feel the difference. Take action steps that lead to unlearning the false belief that no one will love you if you do not take care of them.

People love you when you let them close to you so they feel the sensitive emotional person that you are. You are lovable without having to do anything. Love is free and has no strings.


TAKE CARE OF YOUR HIGHLY SENSITIVE SELF: Move beyond your ego defensive reactions into taking care of your sensitive self. Get help with being overwhelmed and confused so you accept, love, and protect your sensitive nature. Order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Get the facts about your highly sensitive nature as well as tons of support and encouragement to be yourself and shine. PDF, 31 pages, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

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