How to Experience Heaven on Earth

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Slow Down and Savor.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Body-Emotions-Energy Teacher

My 10 commandments are quite different from the ones I learned in the
tiny country church where I was instructed on the Right Thing to do based
on the One authority that had all the answers—the Bible. I benefit
from many of the wise lessons in the Bible as well as all the other points
of view in the world.

Here is my alternative, holistic psychology commandment: “Thy shalt
not rush.”

So many people rush through life looking for “the vibrant moment.”
They long for a peak experience, a new “high” and a wondrous moment
of joy. From drugs, to traveling, to staying busy; alas, they do not,
cannot find true happiness anywhere. Indeed, I do my share of looking
for the peak in trees: from fantastically seeking the peak of the red
trees in Vermont, like a mad woman in a rental car, to searching for
the peak cherry blooms in Philadelphia. I miss the moment.

This year, I just missed the glorious peak on the River Drive, bummer.
And, the peak in the Japanese Garden, terrible. And, due to weather
and a scheduled massage, it appears that I will miss the peak in my
Cherry Grove in Fairmount Park. So, taking myself to task, practicing
what I know— I let go of control and relaxed last night.

Boom, vibrant moments are all around me. I had a great night’s sleep,
yummy. I woke up early and am enjoying each moment as I move through
space and write my newsletter to you, my beloved readers. Thank you for
reading me, some of you, for many years. I turn 75 tomorrow and am
grateful I have enjoyed so many vibrant moments through out my life.

Bless you. The more you slow down and savor the moment you are living
in, the more vibrant moments you will have. Rush not through your life
looking for something. You will not be fulfilled. You enjoy the feeling
of being in “heaven on earth” when you stop looking outside yourself.
What you are doing in the moment, washing the dishes, is where you
find true happiness.

Letting go of control and relaxing your physical body is the key.
Become like melted butter becoming one with gravity and the cosmos.
Boom, you enter the giant flow of energy that feels wonderful, whole
and delicious.


STOP RUSHING YOUR BODY!! Your body hears every thought you have and
responds. Your autonomic nervous system cannot relax your muscles if
you rush and scare it with thoughts of what you have to do. Study the
information in the tele-seminar, “Hear Your Body Talking,”
to become more relaxed and in the moment. Your physical body is
reality. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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REMOVE GUILT ENERGY: Learn how to say NO to guilt and judgment by
listening to this one-hour personal growth audio, “Find Peace Beyond
Guilt and Judgment.” Order mp3, only $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and
colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over
forty-five years of experience teaching people how to read and use
energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:

Doris Jeanette, Psy.D.
503 S. 21 St.
Philadelphia, PA 19146

Mentor and author of Opening the Heart

How to Use Patience to Enter the NOW

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Patient.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychologist, Mentor, Coach


In my new Center City house, at the age of 33, I sat in total frustration on the floor surrounded by a mess of fabric, wood, and dozens of tiny nails. My attempts to cover the ugly pink and green striped wallpaper in my hallway with the beautiful black and red flowered fabric I had bought in the fabric district was failing.

The professional look I was guaranteed by the designer magazine did not manifest. What was I to do? The unsightly stripes had to removed. I could not afford to pay someone else to do it. This meant another long, irritating walk back to the lumberyard on Washington Avenue. This would be my third.

Feeling my feelings, suddenly, my disgust with my efforts turned into patience and understanding. It occurred to me that there was no hurry to get this project completed. I had all the time in the world to walk back and forth to the lumber store on Washington as many times as needed to get whatever supplies it took to keep the fabric on the wall and make it look great.

The only person rushing me was me. I decided to give myself the luxury of taking as long as I needed to make the wall look beautiful. I could relax and enjoy the process instead of feeling rushed. Wonderful. This was my first act of being patient with myself.

The moment I decided to be patient with myself, was the moment I dropped down into a newfound sense of self-love and self-acceptance. Visualize how, when, and where you could use patience to become more effective and happier. Patience is a long way from anxious.

After this break through, I read that Edgar Cayce, the sleeping prophet, said, “Time, space, and patience are those channels through which man as a finite mind may become aware of the infinite.” What this means is that you enter the reality of the infinite universe when you are patient with yourself instead of critical of yourself. Wow!

Patience takes you into a place far away from your brain and thoughts. Your thoughts are the problem. It is your critical thoughts about yourself that cause you to feel frustrated and unhappy. An old Dutch proverb says, “A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.” Indeed.

Patience is power in its purest form. It is not passive, it is acceptance of that which is. Patience works magic on the moment. Try being patient with yourself and see what results you get. Take Patience for a walk, she is good company.

Let me know the results you get. I bet you quickly get a smile on your face because you are more relaxed and happier.

If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please sign up for your free holistic psychology newsletter to arrive in your email box Now!


TAME YOUR THOUGHTS: Visualize being relaxed, happy, and satisfied with yourself. Yummy. Get the help you need to tame your thoughts and become patient with yourself instead of critical of yourself. One-hour tele-seminar that turns your thoughts around — literally! $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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BE PATIENT AND LOVING WITH YOURSELF: Feel good about yourself, no matter what your problems are. Say good things to yourself instead of nasty things. Get that static energy out of your nervous system. The home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally, guides you in baby steps toward patience. It includes the Tame Your Thoughts and Break the Grip of Anxiety audio and the Opening the Heart audio series PLUS ten written lessons. Written lessons lead you step-by-step out of your thoughts into reality where patience lives. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

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HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON? Get the guidance you need to trust your sensitive feelings and emotions to manifest the life you want. Order the Special Report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Learn how to accept, develop, and use your natural gifts to your advantage. Thirty-one page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

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How to Feel Happy and Say Wow More Often

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Experience Wow Often.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach

When was the last time you said, “Wow!” out loud?
When was the last time someone else said, “Wow!” to you?

This is the first thing one of my current clients has been saying for the last few months when we connect on the phone. “Wow!” Her life is certainly not boring, mundane, or ordinary. What about yours?

The Vibrant Moment exists to make sure your life is not boring, mundane, or ordinary. When you are here on planet earth you have the opportunity to have lots of exciting adventures. Sometimes reality is hard and difficult but if you stay in your natural flow, you become stronger and wiser after the hard times.

Regular readers know my mother passed away last winter after about a year of sickness. I mention my life experiences from time to time to help you see how real people live in the flow. While staying in the hard times is difficult when you are grieving or in pain, know that when you get out of the hard times you will experience joy again.

After my exciting, loving, body awareness Nature Workshop this past weekend, I have been walking around my house rubbing my hands together because I am so excited. “Wow!” pops out of my mouth every few minutes. My energy has returned! I finally have some pep!

Awareness is such that you do not notice you are missing something until you get it. I knew I did not have much energy, grieving was using it all up. However, I did not know how ungrounded I was. I was trusting I would move through my grief and get my energy back. And … that is just what happened.

After working in the forest this week-end with a group of caring, open people, my legs are back to sturdy and strong. I have not felt this strong since I rushed to NC to be with my sick mother a year and a half ago. Honestly, the power I feel in my legs may be greater than before.

For sure, my joyful energy has returned and I feel good all over. Of course, my grieving is not over, but this difficult passage in my life has turned a corner. Now I am enjoying the benefits of transformation that come with grieving the loss of a loved one. More of me is present and available for healthy living and vibrant moments.

For you, stay with yourself wherever you are and trust your natural process. If you are in hard times, you will be back to experiencing “Wow!” soon. Just let go of trying to control anything or anyone and more of you will soon be present and available.

Keep the faith. Get grounded and enjoy the moment — whatever it is.


GET GROUNDED: If you want me to do a Nature Workshop in your area contact me. Perhaps we can make it happen. Your legs can feel stronger and more sturdy. If there is a location you will travel to such as Hawaii let me know.

Read about Nature Workshops:

Contact information at


GROUNDING AT HOME: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to get your mental energy grounded so you stop being anxious. Extremely effective. If you do the body exercises, you get results. Ten written lessons, five hours of audio, including the emotional health audio guide, Opening the Heart worth $97.00. Course is tax deductible for holistic health professionals as continuing education. Buy the entire home study course for $199.97, money-back guarantee.

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Order before November 1 and get a free audio worth $29.97 of your choice at:

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How to Know When You are Grounded and Relaxed

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get Grounded.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


I often mention how important it is for you to be grounded. This is because being ungrounded for you, a human energy system, has the same unpleasant consequences that your light switch suffers when it is ungrounded.

You could burn down your house if your electrical box did not have a safety value to completely shut off the electrical current when the wires get overloaded. Apply the same principles to you, your body, and nervous system.

Just like a teenager who is out of control and desperately needs his parents to ground him until he comes back into balance, you need to keep an eye on yourself. The results of not being grounded are self-destructive. For example, when you are ungrounded, you are anxious, manic, irrational, and accident-prone.

Do you know when you are ungrounded? Here is a list of factors to help you know if you are grounded or not.

If you are grounded you:
Are aware of your body as a solid mass.
Feel energy in your feet.
Are aware of the bottom of your feet connecting to gravity.
You are not moving too fast or too slow.
Are aware of your physical surroundings.
Notice how you are relating to yourself and others.
Are relaxed and present, ready to response appropriately.

The first factor is the most important one. If you are not aware of your body, there is a high probability that you are not grounded. Without body awareness you are in some mental state that is defensive, weak, and unreliable.

Your holistic and mental health are determined by the degree to which you are grounded. Psychologists, coaches, social workers, and therapists, need to get grounded so they can teach you how get grounded and stay grounded.

I was just in Yellowstone National Park enjoying the bears and the signs that said, “Be Bear Aware.” Inspired, I leave you with a strong reminder: “Be Body Aware!”


GET GROUNDED: Mother Nature grounds you and protects you from irrational thoughts. Let me teach you how to get grounded and stay grounded. Relax and express yourself in a small group of interesting people at a Nature Workshop. Near NYC and Philadelphia. Come for the day or spend the colorful fall weekend in New Hope, PA. October 24, 11:00-5:00, $200.00, five openings left.

Read more and sign up:


GROUNDING AT HOME: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to get your mental energy grounded so you stop being anxious. Extremely effective. If you do the body exercises, you get results. 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, including the emotional health audio guide, Opening the Heart worth $97.00. Course is tax deductible for professionals as continuing education. Buy the entire home study course for $199.97, money-back guarantee.

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How to Use Your Intuition by Slowing Down

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Use Your Intuition.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Last week I gave you a working definition of intuition and explained the importance of tuning out anxiety so you can tune into your clear, intuitive voice. Read it here if you missed it:

A famous psychologist, Milton Erickson and his wife had an effective way of finding lost objects such as their keys. They sat down and tuned into their intuition to discover where their body put the keys. After all, your body knows where you put the keys even if your brain does not remember.

Really get what this means. Yes, your body knows and you cannot remember. Your body knows. This is the reason all my products, courses, and workshops help you get into your body and live in your body. Feeling your body is the only way to access the valuable information that your body knows that you do not.

The benefits of developing your intuition and using it in your daily life are endless. Credit card companies have a category called lost in the house. Sometimes I have been successful finding my credit card with the Ericksons’ approach so I do not have to call the lost in the house department. Just imagine how helpful it would be if you were able to know, instead of deduct, reality.

Would you like to improve your holistic health? Some medical intuitives are as accurate as an MRI. In addition, medical intuitives can see problems in areas where no medical test currently exists. Your body knows what is going on, within and without, its borders. Don’t think for a minute that it does not!

What kind of relationship do you have with your body? Your body does not lie, confuse you, or manipulate you. You can learn how to hear what your body is saying. Your body knows you much better than any outside person or test. My body even remembers where I put my credit card when I do not! What is there not to love, trust, and use?

The bottom-line is you have probably already used your intuition much more than you admit to yourself. Consider those wonderful moments when everything seems to go your way. The parking space that you need is there. The door opens and you walk through with ease.

Yes, your intuition gives you what you desire. So, sit down and give your intuition more conscious attention. The next time you lose something, take it for a test drive. However, do not expect your intuition to be perfect anymore than any other way of knowing. You are human.

Do not let your mistakes and imperfections stop you from learning how to develop and trust the information you receive. Just know that the answer you receive may or may not be truth. Let the information move and do not try to control reality.


USE YOUR INTUITIVE SELF: Safe in the arms of Mother Nature it is easier to access and use your intuitive self. Especially if you have a guide gently showing you how to move past your anxiety so you hear the clear tones inside of you. Have fun playing with your intuitive self at a Nature Workshop with a small group of intuition seekers. Near NYC and Philadelphia. Come for the day or spend the fall weekend in New Hope, PA. October 24, 11:00-5:00, $200.00, five openings left.

Read more and sign up:


ACCESS YOUR BODY WISDOM: Your body knows what you do not. Listen to what your body is screaming at you. Then give it what it needs for better holistic health. Order “Hear Your Body Talking,” a one-hour tele-seminar to improve your respect, love, and understanding of your body. Then access and use your body wisdom. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “Hear Your Body Talking”:


How to Develop Your Intuition by Tuning Out Static

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Develop Your Intuition.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach

A reader asks, “How do I fully develop my intuition?”

You may have some idea about what intuition is, but do you really understand it? Let’s define intuition so we know the what, when, where, and how we are talking about.

Some people call intuition “Woo-woo,” magic, or nonsense. Many people think the intuitive self is far inferior to rational thought and brain processing. Currently, we live in the worship-the-brain-above-all-else times. Maybe the times they are a changing?

Some define intuition as an instinct, others say it is a gut feeling. All seem to agree that intuition is knowledge obtained without thinking. Knowing without reason. Facts revealed without conscious thought. No deduction or beliefs involved.

For intuition, you must bypass your brain and go straight to the heart of it. Or the gut of it! This is an important fact to keep in mind when developing your intuition. Your intuitive self lives in your body.

I do not put intuition into the same category as an instinct. Instincts seem more like hardwire. Instincts are reliable, dependable, and you trust them if you want to survive and flourish. Instincts are automatic and obvious unless you work hard to inhibit them. Which some people do, and the result is mental illness and a lack of holistic health.

At this point in our evolution, our intuition is more like software in beta. You have to stop, turn it on, and see if it works. In reality, your intuition is probably “on” all the time, but the volume is so subtle you can easily miss the energy and ignore it. Then when you finally do hear, feel, sense something, the information is fuzzy.

Alas, the information you get may or may not be true. What a mess! Where is this radio station anyway? Do you agree it is not an instinct? However, I predict intuition will become instinctive as we learn to develop and trust the what, where, when, and how of what we are doing.

Ok, so you stop, turn on your intuition and try to get it to work properly. But nothing happens. You don’t get anything you trust. What are you tuning into? Could it be your anxiety and fear? Yes, anxiety interferes and gives you the “wrong” answer. Or, no answer. This happens often in the beginning.

You cannot be intuitive if you are anxious. You may not know you are anxious, but you are. Tension in the body blocks the reception of subtle information. You must remove the irrational anxiety in your body to access your intuitive self. Anxiety is static.

The sound of static on the radio makes it impossible to hear the music and conversation. You must remove your inner static in order to hear your intuitive self speaking. You cannot receive the answers that are always there and always available with static in your nervous system. You tune into your static instead of your intuition.

So, the first thing you must do is calm your nervous system, relax your muscles, and reduce your anxiety. Only then can you hear your inner voice, the same divine voice that Socrates, called daimonion.

Your instinctive self is an extremely valuable resource. So, I will continue spelling out the benefits and development of your intuition next week.


MEET YOUR INTUITIVE SELF: In the arms of Mother Nature it is easier to find your intuitive self. Especially if you have a guide gently showing you how to move pass your static so you hear the clear tones inside of you. Have fun meeting your intuitive self at a Nature Workshop with a small group of intuition seekers. Near NYC and Philadelphia. Spend the lovely fall weekend in New Hope, PA. October 24, 11:00-5:00, $200.00, six openings left.

Read more and sign up:


GET RID OF STATIC: The only way to get rid of anxiety is to start to live in your body with effective body exercises. Thinking positive thoughts keeps you thinking. You must stop thinking and start feeling your body. The home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally has what you need–it is full of body exercises. When used, removal of static is the result. Without anxiety in the way you become more intuitive as well as more loving. Yum, more vibrant moments. Ten written lessons and five hours of audio, including the Opening the Heart audio series. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

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How to Overcome Perfectionism? Stop Anxiety From Ruining Your Life!

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Chaos is Not Dangerous.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Do you want to be perfect?
Do you find fault with people who are slow or unsure?

Perhaps you have an inner critic called “Ms. Perfect” or “Mr. Never Satisfied.” Perfectionism is a serious upper class mental health problem. Even the middle and lower classes can think being perfect has it virtues. A la the White Picket Fence Envy Syndrome of those living outside the perfect house where the perfect family live with the perfect kids and perfect jobs.

Perfect people cannot let go of control and experience colors, feelings, and emotions. Therefore, if you try to be perfect you do not enjoy vibrant moments, playful lovemaking, and heart-felt happiness. Being spontaneous, free, and joyful are rare events if you spend your time trying to be perfect.

Trying to be perfect makes you anxious and keeps you controlled. Since you are afraid of doing something wrong and bad, you severely inhibit your body and how it moves. This causes mental illness, sleepless nights, boredom, and physical diseases. Notice how much energy being perfect consumes.

Early in my career I discovered that perfect people were always afraid that if they let go of control they would be out of control. Perhaps you also need to know that when you let go of control you are not automatically in an out of control state. You may feel out of control since you are not used to chaos. Chaos is a period of time where you experience being a mess or making a mess.

If you do not have a mess or become a mess, from time to time, then you are stuck in a tiny perfect place of rigidity. Messes are part of the natural process of transformation. Chaos is not an out of control state. It is a necessary state you must accept, if you want to be successful in personal growth and make dramatic changes in your life.

Note what the scientist credited with discovering Chaos Theory, Edward Lorenz, called his paper in 1972: “Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?” Indeed it could and more. Chaos fuels personal growth, change, and transformation.

Some of you may be familiar with the ongoing story of the man in North Carolina on the CBS Evening News who is dying and finding deep meaning and purpose to his life. In March, 2015, we learned that he had tested the “butterfly effect” to see if one act of kindness in a North Carolina restaurant could go around the world. His act of kindness reached Africa.

What about you? What do you set off when you flap your wings or break free? What happens when you stop controlling yourself and create a mess? What are the results of not washing the dishes and making love instead?

We know from Chaos Theory that Mother Nature does indeed know what she is doing. Disorder, just like feeling your emotions, moves into order naturally on its own. It is safe to let go of control and enjoy the natural flow of your energy. Your natural energy flow gives you peak experiences and makes you physically stronger and mentally healthier.

On the other hand, being out of control is dangerous. Flying mental energy bolting around without awareness is dangerous. When your energy is not grounded, you are out of control. This means you need to quickly get back in your body and ground your energy so you do not hurt yourself or others.

Chaos is not dangerous. Chaos is part of nature and obeys natural laws. Go ahead and let go of control. Enjoy being an artist and free spirit, make a mess and reap the benefits of being creative and happy.


YOUR BODY IS FOR GROUNDING! Yes, one of the three reasons you have a body is to keep your energy safe and securely grounded. Study the body awareness audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” to feel more secure letting go of control. Improve your relationship with your body for better results in relationships. Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Your body never forgets and never lies. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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CONTROLLED OR OUT OF CONTROL? The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

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Learn to Read Body Language, Feel Subtle Energy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel Subtle Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Do colors jump out at you?
Do you smell odors others miss?
Do you know the outcome of events before it happens?

There are many differences between a holistic psychologist and a traditional psychologist. For a complete list of the differences between the old and new psychology check out the definition of the New Psychology here:

One of the major differences is a holistic psychologist works with all of you. Working with all of you is what makes your psychological transformation and therapeutic process “wholistic.” This means your mind, body, and spirit are always included in how your problems are defined, addressed, and solved.

For example, if you already feel subtle energy, a holistic psychologist would teach you how to use your highly sensitive nature to move forward faster. If you did not trust your perceptions, I would teach you to feel the energy difference between your intuition and anxiety so you learn to trust and use your inner knowings to increase your self-esteem and be more successful.

After all, your intuition and inner knowing have not been damaged by your past learning history. So, no matter how much discouragement, neglect, and abuse you have experienced, you can learn to tap into your ability to sense, feel, taste, hear, see, and perceive the information and data that exists in your world.

Subtle energy means any energy that you do not normally notice. There are multitudes of inner and outer subtle energies you can become aware of and use to your advantage. Just sitting on a park bench with a completely relaxed body can expand your awareness of subtle energy if you pay attention to your feelings.

You can feel the tension in your body coming and going as you register your different anxiety levels as people come and go. You could feel and see the fear in others as they walk past you as you consciously improve your ability to read body language. You can even notice a harmful energy you need to get up and walk away from.

Being relaxed is essential if you want to sense more subtle energies. Like a good actor, you must relax your body in order to access your colorful emotions, your physical feelings, and the many other subtle realties that exist in your world.

Take time to relax wherever you are, and sense more of the subtle energy in your world. Relaxing gives you more vibrant moments, which lead to increased health and wellness, peace of mind, and good fortune.


READ BODY LANGUAGE: If you want to be more effective and successful in your personal and professional relationships, learn to read body language. Accurate body language reading is humbling, intimate, and compassionate. My approach warns you against using formulas and other peoples’ “postures.” This body language audio was made for holistic health professionals and is rarely available for sale. Cost is $47.00, money-back guarantee.

Order the Introduction to Body Language audio:

WINTER SPECIAL: Order the rarely-available body language audio before March 1 and get the one-hour “3 Reason You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” worth $29.97 for FREE. Must mention The Vibrant Moment during check out to get free audio.

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NOT TRUSTING YOUR PERCEPTIONS? You get a feeling in your gut and discount it. You have a dream about being sick and do not take heed. Get the professional help you need in learning how to accept, develop, and use your highly sensitive nature to your advantage. Order the special report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” 31-page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

Order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.”


Mental Health Advice: Learn to Read Body Language

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Read body language.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Several years ago, my mother was preparing her famous southern scallop potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner when I noticed she severely tightened up her lips as she was pouring the potatoes into the baking dish.

As soon as I saw the body language of my mother I realized where I learned to tighten my lips. Not only did I see myself in her, I realized her tight lips were trying to control the outcome of her potatoes! Never had I thought about control being a factor when cooking.

In the 1970’s I received referrals from the Beck Institute at the University of Pennsylvania. While looking for new ways to help people who did not benefit from psychotherapy or CBT, I begin to actively use body language and body awareness with my new referrals. This is when I discovered the difference between control and power. Read last week’s The Vibrant Moment for the definition and difference between control and power:  Relationship Advice: Choose Power, not Control

When I taught my clients to notice their body, face, lips, feet, stomach, and what their physical form was doing at any point in time, they were much more likely to give up their denial, exaggeration, and defensive behaviors quickly without resistance. Noticing when they controlled themselves and when they did not was much more effective that trying to change their negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

This is because the tension in your body gives you the feedback that you are in control and not in your power. You can learn to feel how control feels in your body. You may or may not notice when your body is tense. Many people do not. This is the reason taking body language classes, workshops, and home study courses help you become more body conscious.

Also, use mirrors and photographs. Mirrors and photographs help you become more aware if you slow down and look. Do not throw away the photos you do not like. For example, recently a stranger was using my Nikon camera to photograph a family holiday card for me. I was directing her as she was taking the photo. At first, I did not think she was clicking all the way through because the light did not flash.

When I looked at the photos I could see she had indeed taken them correctly. I could also see how I looked when I did not think she was taking them correctly! You should see my face. Unattractive, screwed up and tense. And tight, especially my lips. Yes, of course, my lips.

So, my control showed up for me to see once again. Did my tight face help make the photos better? Did my mother’s tight lips make her potatoes taste better. Nope. Control never makes anything better.

Remembering how I looked in control sure reminds me to relax my lips more often throughout the day.


CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon:

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BODY AWARENESS HOME STUDY COURSE: It is your Inner Critic who controls you and makes you anxious. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course leads you into more body awareness so you become strong enough to throw your inner critic off your chest. Then you breath and feel much more relaxed being in your power. $149.97, 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, money-back guarantee.

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are doing and feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

Call:  215-732-6197.


Self-Esteem Tip: Reduce Your Anxiety to Get Comfortable



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Kick back and relax like a baby.



The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get Comfortable.

Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Live at the Edge:


Being comfortable with yourself is not simple, easy, or clear. One person can be self-confident about how they dress, another feels proud when they create new software. One person can be sure of how they relate to others, while another is certain they can make plenty of money. However, these single talents do not necessarily create a person who is comfortable with themselves as they move about the world.

Consider, the loud-mouthed man in the train car behind me right this minute. He is saying over and over again, “It doesn’t matter what you think about me. All that matters is what I think about me. I am the only one who stands in my way.” He is saying all the “right” things that could make you “think” he posses self-confidence.

However, from his volume, tones, pitch and energy you know he is suffering from extremely low self-esteem. His repetition could indicate a more serious mental health problem. In any case, he thinks he has self-esteem and he does not.

Often, the people who think they are self-confident and are not, are the ones in charge of Every-Thing. Every-Thing refers to governments, religions, corporations, banks, education, medicine, and psychology. These are the people who run the world and tell us what we can do and what we cannot do and how we must do what we do.

So, what is this elusive thing called self-esteem? Where is it and how can you get more of it?  Being comfortable with yourself in your physical body, in space, is the true measure of self-confidence. Naturally, the more situations you are comfortable in, the better.  Also, take note of when you are comfortable being uncomfortable.

It is only a self-confident man who admits he doesn’t know something, needs help, and is confused. It is the self-confident woman who admits she is fearful, anxious, or unsure. Becoming comfortable with all the different aspects of your body, mind, and heart is the pathway to genuine self-esteem. There are plenty of aspects to being human that will keep your personal growth and professional development programs active for the rest of your life.

So, no matter where you rate yourself on self-esteem, take note of the places you are comfortable and enjoy them. Comfortable means relaxed, with little tension in your body. Comfortable means no thought in your mind that makes you feel bad and tighten up.

Pay attention to the times you are uncomfortable and see what makes you anxious. Invest time, effort, and money into reducing your anxiety. Without anxiety, you become more comfortable in more places, with a greater variety of people. The more your anxiety comes down, the more your self-esteem goes up.

The more self-confidence you have, the more comfortable you are being in the world. Soon, you kick back and enjoy being yourself in a situation where you used to be uncomfortable. When you notice this new behavior, you are surprised and pleased with yourself.


NEED HELP BEING COMFORTABLE? Take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. Leads you step by step into feeling your body and being more comfortable with its many aspects. Learn how to tame your inner critics, breathe, feel your emotions, and have more fun being comfortable in lots more places.

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BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE: Psychological research has shown that being assertive reduces your anxiety level in many situations. Consider how much better your life would be if you were comfortable with others and able to express yourself without anxiety.

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