How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions? Feel Proud


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Spending a month in Hawaii in 2013 was one of my accomplishments.




The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel proud.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Live at the Edge:


Like removing dirty clothes, it feels good to let go of 2013. Like putting on fresh, clean clothes, it feels fantastic to walk into the brand new year of 2014. It is exciting to know that this new year offers new possibilities and promises that you could embrace if you so choose.

It is always helpful to take stock of your personal growth and review the successes you achieved over the last year. If you want to permanently improve your self-confidence, it is essential to take the time to celebrate your successes and feel proud of yourself. You need to make the successes yours.

To help you own your successes, write down the personal growth and professional achievements you accomplished in 2013. No matter how small your success, write it down and know that baby steps are the way you learn to dance in the world. Your written material will give you concrete data you can use the next time your ego starts to find fault with everything about you!

Next, you need to celebrate your successes in some way that feels good to you. Reward yourself with something that you love. It is also important to not forget about your successes. Instead, remember your successes as you walk into the New Year. Take time each day to feel proud of yourself and feel good about yourself.

Body Awareness Exercise

To help you anchor your successes into the physical plane, think of your successes as you feel your body and stand up tall with pride. Then continue to stand in your success as you walk around inside your house. If you have attended one of my workshops or phone sessions, you know these body awareness exercises are effective and fun. Next, take your new body posture outside in the world and enjoy your new body self-confidence.

Body awareness exercises help you own your power to make sure you learn a new physical sense of self-confidence that no one can take away from you. The addition of this body awareness factor is what makes my new psychology approach and home study courses more effective than traditional personal growth courses.

Take Responsibility

You must also remind yourself that you took specific actions that lead to your successes; they did not just happen to you. You are the one who took the proper actions that led to reaching your goal. It does not matter how good your teachers, mentors and coaches are, you are the one who did the work that led your to accomplishments. Like it or not, you are responsible for your successes and failures.

Intend to Make 2014 Even Better.

Write down your New Year Resolutions, goals, desires and needs. Choose to be part of the 12% of people who successfully reach their New Year’s Resolutions. It would be a waste of energy for you to be part of the 88% who drop the ball by the end of January!

You can lose weight, make more money, have more fun, improve your sex life, become healthier and attract more loving relationships by the end of 2014. If you take yourself seriously and make a definite plan on how to reach your New Year’s resolution, you will be successful. There is no reason for you to drop the ball and fail.

To succeed, you must be realistic. Do not set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for success. Set a goal that you know you will reach. If losing weight is your New Year’s Resolution, plan to lose one pound a week. And know that some weeks you will not even lose one. That is reality and reality is the path that leads to success.

To be successful, you also need to make sure your weight loss program is not based on controlling yourself and your diet. Control is not successful with any New Year’s resolution because it is not pleasurable. Never try to make yourself do something or not do something if you want to reach your New Year’s resolutions. If the activity is not fun and enjoyable, you will quickly drop the ball and fail.

More next week on how to keep your New Year’s Resolutions. For this week, stand in your successes and feel proud. Then write down realistic New Year’s Resolutions outlining a successful personal growth pathway.


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USE YOUR POWER: Assertiveness Training is an essential skill that you must have to be effective with loved ones, your boss and your own ego. Even if you have taken an Assertiveness Training course before, benefit from the body and energy awareness approach included in this course that is not included in other AT courses. You also get a much needed tune up! Just like a piano, you go out of tune if you do not keep tuning yourself.

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Let the Birthplace of Rock ‘n’ Roll Inspire Your Creativity



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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Welcome a Mistake.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach

Do you judge your mistakes?

I never knew Memphis, Tennessee, USA was such a musical, interesting and exciting place. Last week I wrote about Memphis as the birthplace of the Blues:

Well, did you know that Memphis is also the birthplace of rock and roll? It appears that when black music truly met white music as an equal, there was a rock and a roll! This meeting of the two cultures occurred in the Mississippi Delta.

In 1951, the very first recording of rock and roll was created in Sun Studio in Memphis. There is a plaque on the building making it official from the US government designating Sun Studio as a National Historic Landmark. Sam Phillips was a white man looking for a new sound, any new sound to record in his new recording studio.

Up comes Ike Turner’s band (yes the same Ike who later married Tina Turner) on their way to Sun Studio. The band’s car broke down and their amp fell out and broke. Using a newspaper to stuff the amp back together, they reached the studio.

Sam recorded the band playing and singing, “Rocket 88.” Featuring Jackie Brenston on lead vocals and the newspaper-repaired amp, the first rock and roll record was created on that fateful day in Sun Studio.

The band’s car accident probably helped them break loose and sing more freely. The paper distorted the music just enough to make it interesting to Sam. And the world had a new music to rock and roll their body to.

 What can you learn from this?

Welcome mistakes and accidents. Take advantage of the unexpected. Creativity is a wonderful, existing, fun experience. Add some new sounds and new body movements to your life today.

Cook something new tonight for dinner.
Walk a different path to work.
Drive a different road to your friend’s house.
Plan a new adventure for an upcoming holiday.
Sit down and do nothing.

Break loose from your rigidity, routines and habits. Do something differently than you ever have before. Being creative will give you a vibrant moment or two to enjoy.


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Assertiveness Moves Beyond Talk Therapy into Nature, Energy and Power


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Walking the truth in the forest near New Hope, PA.


The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Assert Your Truth.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor


A reader of The Vibrant Moment expressed how she was feeling about some medical problems she just found out about in a recent email to me. Then she abruptly called herself out on “whining. ” Of course, as soon as she judged herself as whining, she immediately stopped sharing how she was feeling and changed the topic.

Do you block your emotional expressions by calling yourself names?

If you do, you are making sure you do not move forward into new, unexplored emotional territory.  If you want to do transformational work, which means you physically change your energy, you must express your truths no matter what they are at any given moment in time.

Of course, I do not encourage whining. However, are you really whining? Maybe yes and maybe no.   If you want to get to the heart of what is really going on with you psychologically, do not stop your truths at any point in time.

Even if you are whining, stopping yourself in this fashion keeps you from getting down to your unconscious truths.  While knowing the difference between expressing your authentic feelings and whining is important, it is even more important not to block self-expression in the moment it is happening.

This means it is better to whine so you can see that you are whining, rather than stop yourself from whining before you can tell if you are whining or not!  The act of controlling your energy is the oppressive psychological problem, not the whining.

Just imagine if you stepped back and look at your process instead of your words. As a holistic psychologist, I teach you to notice your process so you discover what is really going on inside of you and outside of you.  If you do not let your unconscious material surface, it continues to control you.  The only way to claim your power is to expose your truths.

If you stay stuck in the content, you quickly sink into psychobabble, which is what often happens in regular talk therapy.  You also reinforce your controlling behavior of trying not to whine.  You think that you are whining, complaining and being negative, but are you really?  And if you are, “So what?”

How much power would you have if you learned to notice the how, what, when, where and why behind your words?  When you pay attention to process, you quickly move beyond your thoughts and conditioned reactions into more physical data. Noticing your process gives you the energy needed to master yourself.

It does not matter if you are whining or not.  When you pay attention to your process, you may discover that you were not whining in the first place.  Or you may see that you are whining.  If so, you can learn a more effective way to get what you need or want.

Here is my clinical observation about whining and whiners.  When you judge yourself as whining, there is a high probability that you are not whining.  The whiner usually has no awareness of the fact that she or he is whining.  The whiner does not notice how she is being received by others because she is not conscious of it.

I will explain the energy difference between whining and expressing your authentic feelings and emotions next week.  In the mean time, help me do some research about what I just said about whiners. Observe yourself this week and observe other people. Is my clinical observation correct? Do whiners judge themselves and stop? Or do whiners keep whining?

Please post your feelings, thoughts and comments about self-awareness, emotional expression and whining below.


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Sexual Health Tip: Pleasure and Feeling Good is Best Holistic Health Medicine


Relaxing in nature gives me a great deal of pleasure.

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Feel Good.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


How often do you let yourself feel good?

Virginia Johnson, of Masters and Johnson fame, died at the age of 88 last week.  Reading the story of her life in the NY Times on Sunday sure did bring back some fond memories of being trained as a sex therapist at Temple Medical School in 1976.

1976 was a wonderful time to be alive and studying psychology on the East Coast.  Masters and Johnson had studied the physiology of human sexual behavior in a laboratory in Missouri. Their sex research was the basis of our training as sex therapists.

I had the physical facts:
1.  The size of the penis does not affect the pleasure a man can give a woman.
2.  Intercourse is not necessarily the best way to have an orgasm for a woman.
3.  A vaginal orgasm is exactly the same as a clitoral orgasm.
4.  Old people enjoy sex just as much as young people.
5.  Some women can have an orgasm without any physical stimulation at all.

At the Behavior Therapy Unit, we cured premature ejaculation in almost every man who walked in our door.  Premature ejaculation was easy to treat by reducing a man’s anxiety in the sexual situation. Using similar methods we dramatically improved every woman’s sexual response with and without a partner.

I became known as the sex therapist who was effective with the more difficult to treat erectile dysfunction clients and thus began my private practice. 1976 was an exciting time to be alive in Philadelphia, USA.

Controlling your body and emotions are in vogue in 2013.

In sharp contrast, today’s psychologists label you and physicians drug you for sexual problems, anxiety, depression and normal grieving.  Pleasure seems to be a no-no.  Feeling good seems to have gotten a very bad reputation.

Drugs diminish your feeling ability instead of enhancing your feeling ability. Medications impair your ability to have whole body, sensual, delicious orgasms. Please remember, sex is only one of several ways you can experience pleasure and have an orgasm.

If you want to enjoy more vibrant moments and holistic health in your daily life, stay away from drugs and medication. Drugs mask problems, cure nothing and stop you from feeling good.

Do you avoid pleasure in your daily life?

Notice how often you stop yourself from having pleasure this week. Little pleasures, big pleasures. Mental pleasures, body pleasures, heart pleasures.  If you do not let yourself feel good and experience pleasure, you are sure to become weaker and weaker until you get sick.

Before you know it, your mind wanders away, your behavior becomes addictive, your body atrophies and your heart attacks you.  All of these physical results are trying to get your attention. Your real self is screaming at you, “Let me feel good!”

You need pleasure to achieve holistic health, happiness and a sustainable future. Give yourself time every day to receive pleasure in any form. Choose your pleasures based on your personal needs and desires.

Tell me about your favorite pleasures and psychological blocks to feeling good below.


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Personal Growth Tip: Wake Up to Your Human Potential With Relaxation


Jump into the water! Jump into Life!


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Big Island Beach, Sunset, 2013


The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Get Unstuck.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Definition of Stuck: Not moving forward. Living a mundane and ordinary life. No passion and joy.

Do you work, eat, sleep and repeat the same behaviors day after day? If so, you are going through your life without feelings and emotions.  This means you are stuck in an ordinary and mundane life.

This phrase, “ordinary and mundane,” is taken from Dr. Charles Tart’s book, Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential, which I read in the late 1980s.  “The Vibrant Moment” exists to help you wake up and do a whole lot more than just get through your day.

How Awake and Alive Are You?

It is possible that ordinary consciousness may feel normal for you because you have not experienced anything else in so long you have forgotten the delicious extraordinary feelings you were born with.  Therefore, you may not be aware that you are living the moments of your life without passion, fire and joy.

On the other hand, perhaps you have enjoyed vibrant moments, peak performances and peak experiences from time to time.  However, stress and anxiety have unconsciously taken over your waking life.  As a result, you have settled back down into ordinary consciousness without even knowing it.

Or maybe you are grieving a great loss.  It is easy to get stuck in the grieving progress and become depressed instead of moving forward.  You may have dropped down out of ordinary mundane consciousness into a deeper level of depression.

Whatever the reason, you may be stuck in routine living, depression and anxiety without even knowing you are stuck in the daily grind of the walking dead.

To have more vibrant moments, you need to know when, where, how and why you are stuck.  To know when you are stuck, you have to increase your awareness. To increase your awareness, you need outside feedback that gives you some degree of objective data.

This means you need many different kinds of feedback systems that alert you to where your mental health, emotional security and body awareness are at any given moment in time.  I use mentors, groups and holistic health practitioners to wake me up and notify me that I have gotten stuck in the ordinary and mundane.  I also have my own daily feedback barometers.

Use Daily Activities to Notice When You Are Stuck

Just getting through a swim is not the same thing as enjoying a swim.  As a swimmer, I use how I feel and how much I enjoy my swim as a barometer of my state of being in the world.  I have many different kinds of swimming experiences.  Each swimming experience gives me concrete feedback about my consciousness and state of being alive.

There is the:
1. Delicious, flowing through the sensuous water with my whole body swim
2. Enjoyable, relaxing swim, where the mind is quiet and still
3. Fun, playful, feel good swim, where there is no thinking
4. Mean and lean exercise swim
5.  So-so swim, where the thoughts distracted me more than not.
6.  Did I even swim? swim, where my brain was in charge

I love swimming so much I don’t have a bad swim or a boring swim. But you may want to add bad and boring along with other specific qualities to your own feedback list.

Create Your Own Aliveness Feedback Barometer

To create your own Aliveness Barometer, think about some experience you do daily or several times a week.  For example, if you take walks, you can use your walking experiences. Make a list of all the difference kinds of walks you have.  Describe your walks honestly so that you can use each walk to increase your awareness of how present, alive and vibrant you are in the moment.

Then use your feedback to become more awake and alive.  If your feedback tells you that you are stuck in the ordinary and mundane, this means you are anxious. The less you enjoy something, the more anxious you are.

To correct the problem you need to begin to feel your body more and feel your emotions more. These two sensory experiences will start to bring more life energy into
your daily grind.

You only have one life to live. Get unstuck and allow more passion, joy and excitement into your precious moments. Reduce your anxiety and relax your body so you can perceive
the colors that are always dancing and playing around you before it is too late.

Peak performances, peak experiences and vibrant moments do not happen by accident. They happen because you show up and allow yourself to be in your body and emotions in physical reality. They happen because you reduce your anxiety and
relax into your body.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about body awareness, emotional expression and peak performances below.


REMOVE VIBRANT MOMENT BLOCKS: Anxiety, stress and thinking too much are the major blocks that stop vibrant moments from occurring in your life.  Take the Home Study Course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally, that has helped hundreds of people reduce their anxiety and relax into their body. 10 written lessons and 5 hours of audio, including the best selling emotional health guide, “Opening the Heart.” Worth $209.94, yours for only $149.97.

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Goodbye Performance Anxiety, Hello Peak Performance

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Let the music flow. Peak performances are fun and healthy for you. Performance anxiety stops the fun so healthy energy cannot flow through you.



The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Get in the Zone.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


Since I spent the weekend with my highly motivated musical and political nephews, my creativity is amped up and renewed.  So I revisited the last survey The Vibrant Moment’s readers filled out to some fresh ideas for the content of this week’s newsletter.

The top three topics you were interested in were:
Peak Performance

Wow, I forgot peak performance was number three!  I have not written about peak performance since the survey.  This learning experience is a helpful self-improvement lesson in and of itself.

Lesson Learned:

Make sure you get feedback from your personal relationships as well as your professional relationships.  Write the feedback down so you have a record of the data. Then make sure you revisit the feedback to find new ways to be successful with your personal growth and professional development along the way.

Now, to peak performance.

First, let’s definite our terms accurately.  I just did a google search and found incorrect information. Even the current Psychology Today information is incorrect on performance anxiety.

The Definition of Performance Anxiety:

Performance anxiety is a learning research term that is used to define any anxiety that occurs before or during any type of performance. It does not apply just to stage fright and public performances.  Performance anxiety applies to any activity that you may need or want to perform.  For example, taking a test, making love with your partner, reaching the moon and trying to relax.

The Definition of Peak Performance:

Peak performance is a psychological term that applies to any type of performance where you are able to relax and do your best.  We often think of sports and music.  If you saw the third game of the NBA playoffs last night, you know what I mean.  Two undrafted players “led the San Antonio Spurs to one of the best-shooting, biggest blowouts in NBA Finals history.” The San Antonio Spurs had a magical performance blowing away the stars of the Miami Heat that gave the viewers, as well as the players, plenty of goosebumps and joy.

However, anything you do could be a peak performance for you.  Anytime you relax and perform at your best, you are enjoying a peak performance.  In a relaxed state, you are able to use your human potential to its maximum based on your current skill level.

This is what gives you a peak performance.  You are able to access and use the skill you have spent hours learning and practicing to your maximum advantage at your command.  So a peak performance is based on your ability to use your innate ability and learned behavior with mastery at your will.

Performance Anxiety Blocks Peak Performances

Do you have performance anxiety? Most of us do. Just think of all the ways performance anxiety keeps you inhibited, depressed and miserable. For example, you don’t feel comfortable in your body so that you can spontaneously get up on the dance floor when the spirit moves you and show off your dancing skills. You cannot let go and have a peak performance any time or anywhere.

How can you experience a peak performance?

The answer is really quite simple. You have to remove enough anxiety from your physical body so that you can perform the task at hand. To remove the anxiety from your body, you have to stop the mental judgments coming out of your brain from taking the center stage.  When your thoughts are in control, they are always successful in making your body contract.

When you let go of control, you automatically relax.  So the solution is to let go of control and stop thinking.  In a relaxed state you will do your best without thinking about anything at all.  This is because when you relax your physical body, you automatically get in the flow or zone.  Anytime you get in the flow, you will have a peak performance for you.

The great thing about peak performances is that these wonderful experiences keep getting better and better so you have new peak performances all along the way. There is no end to how many peak performances you can have before you die. Get in your flow and enjoy more peak performances.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about performance anxiety, relaxation and peak performances below.


PEAK PERFORMANCE HELP:  Use the information on the self-improvement audio, “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance,” to ace your next presentation.  This material was made for college students and adults who want to work smarter, not harder. Learn how to approach your job or exams with more self- confidence.  Based on learning research, mind-body tools and holistic psychology principles. $29.97, CD or mp3, money back guarantee.

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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS HELP: Stop your mental judgments from taking center stage. Put your nasty, low self-esteem thoughts in the trash where they belong. Use the information in this one-hour anxiety reduction audio, “Tame Your Thoughts,” to break free from your performance anxiety so you have more peak performances.

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FREE BONUS! Order either personal growth audio above before Monday, June 17 and get the free bonus audio, “Break the Grip of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview.” One-hour audio, $29.97. Must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get free audio.