How to Stop Judging Yourself and Others for Better Mental Health


The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Care and Change.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Body-Emotions-Energy Teacher

Here is an excellent holistic psychology question I got this week
from a client. She asks, “How do I stop hating myself— as in judging
myself —when I make a mess and so many mistakes over and over again.
I can’t stand it.”

This client is learning how to be responsible for all her behaviors,
thoughts and feelings without being mean to herself. Being
responsible for yourself without judging yourself is what I call the
“First Trick in Transformation.” When you master this, you move to
the wonderful place on planet earth beyond judgment. This is the
place the poet Rumi loved to write about.

When my client makes a mess, she apologizes and thinks that is all
she has to do. However, the messes continue and add up over time
because she is not learning how to be a more responsible person with
the people in her life. She is still avoiding, instead of owning and
facing her mess. You know you are still being defensive if you cannot
admit and talk about the mistakes you make with ease again and again
over time. No buttons or triggers will be there when you are
emotionally secure.

Like most people in the world, my client does not want to be
responsible because if she admits she made a mess, her Inner Critic
beats her to death, just like the flagellation that was used for
punishment by the Romans. In 2023, you may not be physically
punishing yourself but you sure are beating yourself up creating as
much emotional and physical pain as if you were!

Sometimes, my client wants to kill herself to escape this pain. The
racing, mean, nasty thoughts hitting her emotional self makes her
want to run away and hide. If these thoughts are often enough,
terrible enough, people do kill themselves, as the brilliant author
Virginia Woolf did by putting rocks in her pockets and walking into
the Ouse river behind her home.

Therefore, learning how to stand up to your Inner Critic is essential
for personal growth. The lower brain needs to unlearn this nasty behavior
from the Middle Ages of attacking ourselves when we make a mess.
Making a mess and making mistakes are part of the natural process of
transformation that occurs when we self-actualize and become our true

When you make a mess you must clean it up. If you are not making a
mess, then you are not becoming a better person, you are stuck in
your ego. This means you want to make a mess, be responsible for your
mess, be compassionate toward yourself and stop making the same mess
over and over again. In other words, CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR! Anxiety is
usually the reason you make a mess in the fist place, so learn to
reduce your anxiety, be responsible and make better choices.

The fastest way I know to be successful learning how to stop whipping
yourself, is to FEEL how much you are hurting your little girl when you
attack her and make her bad and wrong. Feeling solves the problem for
me. Once I feel how much I am hurting myself or someone else, I
immediately want to stop being insensitive, mean or heartless.

My open heart cares and quickly stops the abuse. If you know of a
faster way to do this, please share it with me and our readers.
Caring is the result of opening your heart and solar plexus. Open
your heart to help yourself and humanity move forward.


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If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please forward it to friends and
colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over
forty-five years of experience teaching people how to read and use
energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:

Doris Jeanette, Psy.D.
503 S. 21 St.
Philadelphia, PA 19146

Mentor and author of Opening the Heart

How to Get Rid of Guilt and Feel Good About Yourself

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Say No to Guilt.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Energy and Transformational Teacher


I was in such a deep, heavenly sleep that I did not want to leave the sweet refrain. I knew I was asleep and also knew I was enjoying every moment. Then, my brain tells me that I need to get up and make the coffee so I can start writing before it gets too late. Guilt was the result of that single thought.

This sweet state of consciousness is the one Thomas Edison found to be most helpful to his creativity. He would put a pot on his head, sit in a chair and try to go to sleep. He did not want to go completely asleep, he wanted to stay in that delicious place between sleep and awake when he could find his next brilliant idea. The pot would fall and keep him from sleeping.

Guilt is a nasty energy that keeps us in a controlled state much of the time with, “You should not sleep late. You should get up and work.” Even if I happen to enjoy my work, my bully brain, my ego still wants to control me with the what, when and so forth. Guilt in any form, for any reason, is harmful to you. Always say no to guilt because it is one of the major ways your ego keeps you from being creative, intuitive and free.

You need to know that guilt is not needed to “make you do the right thing.” There is no right or wrong, only experiences to learn from. If you listen to your heart and your true self you are naturally loving, firm and assertive. So, the struggle is between your controlled, conditioned brain and your heart.

If you choose to live a life without guilt, you are creative, intuitive and free. If you want good mental health you say no to guilt as often as needed to stay sane, strong and safe. When you follow your heart more vibrant moments pop into your experience on earth. Vibrant moments are what I enjoy.

How to get rid of guilt?

  1. Become conscious of your judgments against yourself or others.

Making someone else wrong is the same vibration as making yourself wrong. Mental judgments have a heavier, denser energy that you can learn to feel and sense. Notice them as soon as you can.

  1. Say “No, no, no” to your judgments as soon as you notice them.

I used to throw mine in the air and shoot them with an imaginary gun. Create some physical activity to help you get rid of them. If you include the body and movement, it accelerates the unlearning process. You can also get rid of dense mental energy by throwing it on the ground. Find your own way, be creative.

Choose to live a guilt free life for the earth children. Show them the way to avoid mental illness and suicide.


SAY GOOBYE TO GUILT: Get the information and coaching you need to say no to guilt and hello to freedom and creativity. Guilt is sticky energy. Learn how to recognize guilt and remove it from your body and energy field. A one-hour tele-seminar, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment” gets you started and helps you continue to unlearn your guilt response. Money-back guarantee on all products at Use over and over again to help you as you move forward.

Read more and order “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment” audio.

If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: