Category Archives: holistic psychology

Goodbye Performance Anxiety, Hello Peak Performance

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Let the music flow. Peak performances are fun and healthy for you. Performance anxiety stops the fun so healthy energy cannot flow through you.

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Get in the Zone.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Since I spent the weekend with my highly motivated musical and political nephews, my creativity is amped up and renewed.  So I revisited the last survey The Vibrant Moment’s readers filled out to some fresh ideas for the content of this week’s newsletter.

The top three topics you were interested in were:
Physics
Metaphysics
Peak Performance

Wow, I forgot peak performance was number three!  I have not written about peak performance since the survey.  This learning experience is a helpful self-improvement lesson in and of itself.

Lesson Learned:

Make sure you get feedback from your personal relationships as well as your professional relationships.  Write the feedback down so you have a record of the data. Then make sure you revisit the feedback to find new ways to be successful with your personal growth and professional development along the way.

Now, to peak performance.

First, let’s definite our terms accurately.  I just did a google search and found incorrect information. Even the current Psychology Today information is incorrect on performance anxiety.

The Definition of Performance Anxiety:

Performance anxiety is a learning research term that is used to define any anxiety that occurs before or during any type of performance. It does not apply just to stage fright and public performances.  Performance anxiety applies to any activity that you may need or want to perform.  For example, taking a test, making love with your partner, reaching the moon and trying to relax.

The Definition of Peak Performance:

Peak performance is a psychological term that applies to any type of performance where you are able to relax and do your best.  We often think of sports and music.  If you saw the third game of the NBA playoffs last night, you know what I mean.  Two undrafted players “led the San Antonio Spurs to one of the best-shooting, biggest blowouts in NBA Finals history.” The San Antonio Spurs had a magical performance blowing away the stars of the Miami Heat that gave the viewers, as well as the players, plenty of goosebumps and joy.

However, anything you do could be a peak performance for you.  Anytime you relax and perform at your best, you are enjoying a peak performance.  In a relaxed state, you are able to use your human potential to its maximum based on your current skill level.

This is what gives you a peak performance.  You are able to access and use the skill you have spent hours learning and practicing to your maximum advantage at your command.  So a peak performance is based on your ability to use your innate ability and learned behavior with mastery at your will.

Performance Anxiety Blocks Peak Performances

Do you have performance anxiety? Most of us do. Just think of all the ways performance anxiety keeps you inhibited, depressed and miserable. For example, you don’t feel comfortable in your body so that you can spontaneously get up on the dance floor when the spirit moves you and show off your dancing skills. You cannot let go and have a peak performance any time or anywhere.

How can you experience a peak performance?

The answer is really quite simple. You have to remove enough anxiety from your physical body so that you can perform the task at hand. To remove the anxiety from your body, you have to stop the mental judgments coming out of your brain from taking the center stage.  When your thoughts are in control, they are always successful in making your body contract.

When you let go of control, you automatically relax.  So the solution is to let go of control and stop thinking.  In a relaxed state you will do your best without thinking about anything at all.  This is because when you relax your physical body, you automatically get in the flow or zone.  Anytime you get in the flow, you will have a peak performance for you.

The great thing about peak performances is that these wonderful experiences keep getting better and better so you have new peak performances all along the way. There is no end to how many peak performances you can have before you die. Get in your flow and enjoy more peak performances.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about performance anxiety, relaxation and peak performances below.

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PEAK PERFORMANCE HELP:  Use the information on the self-improvement audio, “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance,” to ace your next presentation.  This material was made for college students and adults who want to work smarter, not harder. Learn how to approach your job or exams with more self- confidence.  Based on learning research, mind-body tools and holistic psychology principles. $29.97, CD or mp3, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/7studyskills.html

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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS HELP: Stop your mental judgments from taking center stage. Put your nasty, low self-esteem thoughts in the trash where they belong. Use the information in this one-hour anxiety reduction audio, “Tame Your Thoughts,” to break free from your performance anxiety so you have more peak performances.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/tameyourthoughts.html

FREE BONUS! Order either personal growth audio above before Monday, June 17 and get the free bonus audio, “Break the Grip of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview.” One-hour audio, $29.97. Must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get free audio.
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

Before You Break Up or Divorce, Take An Assertiveness Training Course

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hung

 

 

Break free and assert yourself so you can live fully and richly. This is Doris Jeanette at a younger age in Williamsburg, Virginia when her name was Doris Ward.

Follow Doris Jeanette for more help in being assertive, free and happy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette/

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Take a breath and speak.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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Do your friends talk too much?
Do you talk too much?

Remember the song “You Talk Too Much”, a 1960 single hit by Joe Jones?  It was written by Fats Domino’s brother-in-law, Reginald Hall, but Fats turned down the song.  So Joe Jones made the catchy lyrics,  “You talk too much, you worry me to death,” famous.

Most of us have a friend or two who talks too much. They go on and on with their stories, concerns and ideas. They do not take a breath and give us room to talk and respond to what they are saying.  Instead, they control the conversation. Ugh.

Talking too much is a sign of high anxiety. In general, the higher the pitch, the higher the anxiety. The louder the voice, the higher the anxiety. The faster the speech, the higher the anxiety.

So, what do you do when one of your friends talk too much? Do you smile and act polite in the moment and avoid her in the future? This is how the majority of people respond.  People tend to avoid people who talk too much.

I have even noticed, during my 36 years of couples therapy, that people are more prepared to leave their relationship and break up than tell their partner the truth.  At the beginning of couples therapy, almost 95% of the time one person in the relationship is planning on breaking up because she wants to avoid the other person’s controlling behavior.

This means that a woman would rather leave her marriage or break up with her lover than tell her partner the truth about something that he or she is doing that is controlling and hurtful.  When you really stop to think about it, this is an amazing statistic.  How could it be easier to go through a break up or divorce than to tell your partner what you need to tell her or him so that you can grow and flourish in the relationship?

In reality, it is not easier to break up your relationships, it is easier to engage in effective personal growth.   Instead of avoiding your friend who talks too much, you could become more effective and powerful in your relationship with her. You could learn how to speak up and take care of yourself.  Then you can keep her as a friend and not have to sit there politely controlled by her anxiety ever again.

You can be assertive, stand up for yourself and create a big wide world for you to live in with lots of healthy relationships.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about relationships, assertiveness and marriage conflicts below.

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FIGHTING? PREVENT BREAK UP OR DIVORCE: Consider taking the steps that empower you in relationships so that you do not have to break up or get a divorce.  The special report, “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up,” can be used as a preventive measure or use it to heal your heart after a painful divorce or break up. PDF file, $9.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

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STAND UP TO CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR:  Learn the interpersonal skills you need so you can communicate to your friend who talks too much that you are no longer interested in listening.  Then you do not have to go through life avoiding people. Take the Home Study Course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” This Assertiveness Training course includes the regular information in any good Assertiveness Training course plus a holistic, energy point of view that makes you even more effective in dealing with people. Money back guarantee, six lessons and over 9 hours of audio, $149.97.

Read more and order your Assertiveness Training course:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order by Monday, June 10 and get the one hour “Introduction to Body Language” audio worth $49.97. This audio is rarely available for sale. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get free body language audio.

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Read and study the Amazon Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional health information will help discover your emotional truths. You do not have to own a kindle, just download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

Read more and order:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E/
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How to Handle Emotional Distress? Achieve Emotional Health and Wellness

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backyardCenter City, Philadelphia backyard, secured for Hurricane Sandy, 2012.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Weather the Storm.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.htm

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How prepared are you for stormy weather?
How prepared are you for emotional distress?

For most of us, stormy weather will always occur somewhere in the future forecast.  There could even be a Sandy type hurricane or Oklahoma tornado, right around the corner. This is also true in terms of your emotional health.

No matter what your current emotional health status, emotional distress will show up on your radar.

When I was getting my motorcycle driver’s license in 1987, the teacher said, “It is not a matter of if you will fall off the bike, it is a matter of when you will fall off the bike.” He repeated this several times so that this physical reality soaked into his students’ bones.

This is sage wisdom that you could also take to heart and use to prepare for the next time you experience emotional reality.  It is not a matter of if emotional distress will occur in your life, it is a matter of when you will once again be tossed about by some outside force that you cannot control.

This means you need to be prepared so you can weather the next emotional distress storm that comes your way.  Relationships are not perfect. You are not perfect. Relationships challenge every aspect of your emotional health and wellness.

Often it is the person you love the most who behaves in ways that hurt you the most.

Other people’s behavior affects you and pushes you around.  If you have not shored up your ship ahead of time, you will have a tendency to react, drown and surrender.  In which case, you will probably experience helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety, depression and other mental health problems.

Therefore, you need to develop the ability to weather the emotional distress of others as they rage around you.  You can learn to handle your own emotional distress skillfully so that you flourish instead of flounder during relationship conflicts.

For example, when you experience the negative fallout of another person’s behavior, you could hold steady at the helm.  This means you have the ability to take care of yourself instead of reacting with a knee jerk response.  I hear some of you saying, “How can I possibility do this?  It is unrealistic and not possible.”

Trust me, there is a way and the path is true to emotional health and wellness.  The way to take care of yourself is to be in touch with and stay with your self emotionally through the storm. There are two steps that will make sure you weather the emotional distress storms of life.

The Way to Weather Emotional Distress Storms:

1.  Become aware of the emotional truths that exist as real energy in your heart and body.
2.  Act on your emotional truths as soon as you have the courage to do so.

The first step is awareness. When you know what you really feel, want and need, you are in a position where you could use your power. You have the knowledge needed to take care of yourself if you so choose.  If you don’t know what you really feel, want and need, you cannot do anything to protect yourself from outside factors.  Lack of emotional awareness results in helplessness, insecurity and low self-esteem.

The second step is to develop the assertive skills needed to act on the behalf of your emotional truths.  If you take the actions needed to take care of yourself during the storm, you will move out of emotional distress into calmer weather.  Being assertive ensures that your needs are meet and your desires are honored.

You can definitely hold the helm in a steadfast manner as others react around you. When you use your assertive relationship skills with others, you feel good.  When you are effective, you feel strong and sturdy.  The benefit is more self-confidence and emotional security.

Learn to handle emotional distress by taking care of yourself emotionally through any type of weather.

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NEED AN ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING COURSE?  Take the Home Study Course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” This Assertiveness Training course includes the regular information in any good Assertiveness Training course plus a holistic, energy point of view that makes you even more aware of your feelings and more skillful in dealing with people. Money back guarantee, six lessons and over 9 hours of audio, $149.97.

Read more and order your Assertiveness Training course:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

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BECOME AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS:  Read and study the Amazon E-book, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional health information will help discover your emotional truths. You do not have to own a kindle, just download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

Read more and order:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E/
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Definition of Self-Actualization: 12 Traits of The Self-Actualized Person

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Follow Doris Jeanette on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette/

bloom

Self-actualization is when you bloom like this flower.

 

 

Flower in front of Center City, Philadelphia home, May, 2013.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Realize Thyself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do you long to be free, happy, healthy and fulfilled?

The original Indian Yoga masters taught people how to reach self-realization though spiritual practice.  An American psychologist, Abraham Maslow reintroduced this idea to the psychological community in the 1950’s by observing how some people had reached a healthy psychological state he called self-actualization.

As a child, I spent hundreds of hours on the long school bus ride from my farm house to school, dreaming of what I wanted my life to look like.  I did not want to work from morning till night and have very little fun like my parents. I wanted to live an exciting, interesting life full of fun.

Therefore, when I read Maslow’s description of a self-actualized person in my college psychology course, I knew I was on a definite path to be the best self I could be.  You too, can get on the pathway that leads to a self-actualized person.

Here are 12 traits of The Self-Actualized Person to inspire you to continue your personal growth, accelerate your investment in your professional development or get started on your pathway to self-actualization.

Notice which traits you already have and feel proud of your personal growth success.  Then start working on the traits that you need to develop in yourself.  Enjoy the process of adding new, healthy self-actualization traits that enhance your self-esteem and make your life meaningful and enjoyable.

12 Traits of The Self-Actualized Person

1.  Realistic and likes the unknown
2.  Accepts self and others, does not judge self and others
3.  Spontaneous, natural, genuine
4.  Happy alone and with others
5.  Independent and self-sufficient
6.  Highly ethical and moral
7.  Does not let culture, religion or government dictate actions
8.  Has a good sense of humor
9.  Lives a creative life
10. Does not have unhealthy attachments to people or ideas
11. Has a global vision, not self-centered
12. Enjoys peak experiences

The Vibrant Moment exists to help you acknowledge, use and express your unique human potential so that you reach self-actualization. When you move toward self-realization your problems, pains and blocks fall away behind you and trouble you no more.

Let the flow be with you.

Share your comments below.

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ACCEPT YOURSELF: You can learn to accept and love yourself and others.  Read and study the Amazon E-book, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional health information will help you be happy alone and with others. You do not have to own a kindle, just download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

Read more and order:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E/
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NEED HELP GETTING RID OF JUDGMENT?  Judgment is learned and you can unlearn judgmental self-rejection. Judgment stands in the way of self-acceptance and self-actualization. Listen to the personal growth audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment,” to help you become more self-actualized. One hour, $27.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

Get a free personal growth audio, “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview,” worth $29.97 if you order by Monday, May 27. http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

Depression Help, Sexual Problem Natural Treatment: Trust Energy

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The Lewis Brothers Bluegrass Band being enjoyed by young and old in Philadelphia, PA at Filter Square Park, May 2013, photographed by Doris Jeanette

peter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Vibrant Moment –  Trust your energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Health, Psychology Mentor
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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Do you inhibit your energy and try to control it?
Or do you let your energy flow naturally and normally?

I have a new male client who is a musician. This gives me a chance to use musical metaphors to help him with his depression and sexual problems.  For example, I know if he can let go and play music on the stage, he can let go and make love with his new partner.

Many women and men, gay and straight, have sexual problems and depression because they do not trust the flow of their own human energy.  After the first session with my new client, I discovered that he feels safe playing music on the stage. This means he trusts his energy when he is playing music.

However, he does not trust the flow of his human energy when he is with someone he is emotionally and sexually attracted to.  Somehow, he learned to inhibit his sexual energy so much that he cannot perform in intimate, sexual situations.  He is too scared to let go of control with his partner even though he is as safe and secure as he is when he is playing music on stage.

Since I am a holistic psychologist, my job is to get to the root of what is blocking his natural healthy energy in sexual situations as quickly as I can. Once I uncover the source, I will teach him how to unlearn his inhibiting response and transform his distrust into a healthy letting go response.

When he learns to trust his energy in emotional and sexual situations, he will be able to play beautiful music with his new love.  I also know that when he is comfortable receiving pleasure, his depression will disappear.

Give Yourself a Natural Health Check Up:

Write down a list of all the places you do trust your energy and let it flow naturally.
Write down a list of all the places you do not trust your energy and try to control it.
Survey the list and see if you notice any patterns, trends and insights.

Let the flow be with you.

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TRUST YOUR ENERGY: You can learn to feel safe letting go of control. Trusting the natural flow of your feelings and emotions will improve your relationship, sexual and mental health problem. If you are serious about achieving emotional health, read the Amazon E-book, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional energy healing information will help you heal and follow your emotional self to natural health and wellness. You do not have to own a kindle, download a reader to your IPad or computer. Only $3.99.

Read more and order:
“HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.”
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TRUST YOUR MALE ENERGY: Take the home study course, “For Men: Become a Better Lover – How to Have a Better Sex Life.”  10 written lessons plus five hours of audio teach you how to reduce your anxiety and distrust so you can receive pleasure.  Body exercises help you relax into your body and stay there during sexual and emotional situations. Money back guarantee, $199.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/becomeabetterlover.html

Learned Helplessness? Treat Depression and Sexual Problems with Baby Love

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Feel helpless.
Personal Growth Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.htm

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Do you have any sensory memories of being a baby? Can you empathize with your real, in the flesh, past history of being a bundle of joy?

Once upon a time your physical reality was as a baby.  Babies are helpless. When a baby’s needs are met, they are a bundle of joy.  You can see, feel, taste, hear and smell the good vibrations coming off of human babies.

“Baby Love” became the Supremes’ number one Motown song because it reminded us of the joys and benefits of being a baby.

Being comfortable with the baby part of you means you:
Relax and receive what you need to be physically strong and healthy.
Love other people easily and sweetly.
Enjoy being in the moments of your life.

Babies are fully in the moment. Therefore, babies radiate mucho vital energy in all directions so they live in vibrant moments.  This means being able to access your baby self is good for your holistic health and wellness.  As a matter of fact, being in the moment and radiating healthy energy is essential for good physical and mental health.

How often do you allow yourself to feel helpless like a baby?  Probably not very often.  If you are like most people, helplessness is a feeling you defend against because it makes you feel very, very uncomfortable.

This week when I was joyfully moving my large house plants outside into my backyard, I found evidence of new water damage in my house. The crumbling wall was proof that the last roofer I hired to fix my slow, occasional water leak had not fixed my ongoing water problem.  I felt like crying.  I felt inadequate, impotent and helpless.

Do a Personal Growth Check Up.

When you feel helpless, sometimes you really are helpless and sometimes you are not really helpless.  It really does not matter.  You need to allow yourself to feel helpless when you feel helpless if you want to be achieve holistic health and wellness.

How often do you let go and let yourself feel helpless?  Can you remember the last time? In reality, you really are helpless about many situations, events and actions taken by other people, governments and religions.

Next, notice how often you defend against your feelings of helplessness.   Defensive behavior means you do something to avoid your feelings of helplessness. When you avoid your feelings of helplessness, you cannot access the benefits of being your baby self.

After finding my water damage, I felt helpless for a couple of hours as I went about my spring cleaning.  By dinner time I was not feeling helpless and I could talk about the problem.   After a delicious, relaxing dinner, I sat down at my computer and wrote my roofer an email telling him about the new leak and asked him to come by and help me.

If I had defended against my feelings of helplessness, my psychological experience of life would have been much different.  When you defend against something, you spend massive amounts of energy to avoid feeling what you really feel.

In a defensive state, you obsess about the problem or repress the problem.  You go to bed anxious and uncomfortable and do not know the real reason you feel so bad.  You are unconscious, numb and grey. You could become very depressed and not not want to get out of bed.

On the other hand, if you let yourself feel helpless, soon you move forward.  In my situation, I was not really helpless.  I took positive assertive action and my expert roofer came by Monday afternoon and we had a good time connecting as he did his exploratory work.

However, sometimes you really are helpless.  In some situations, your assertive actions cannot change realty because you do not have any power to effect the outcome.  When this occurs, you move forward as you feel your helplessness, let go and accept reality.

So access your Baby Love Self. Helpless or not, love your relaxed and receptive state for stellar holistic health and wellness.  Get your energy grooving by singing along with Elvis Presley, “SANTA BRING MY BABY BACK TO ME.”

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LOVE YOUR BABY LOVE SELF: Get help feeling your authentic feelings and emotions when you read the Amazon Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This heart healing information will help you find, accept, heal and follow your baby self to stellar holistic health and wellness. Read on your kindle or download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.

Read more and order:
“HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” by Dr. Doris Jeanette

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DEPRESSED? Learn about learned helplessness, helplessness and how you can unlearn your defensive response to life.  Study the personal growth audio, “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free.” One hour audio $29.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/depressionaudio.html

Free Self-Help Audio: Order,”Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free”  by Monday, May 13 and get a free self help audio. Order now and get, “Break the Grip of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview,” a one hour natural anxiety treatment audio worth $29.97. Mention The Vibrant Moment to get free audio.
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

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Love and Relationship Advice: Use Body Language to Improve Self-Esteem and Personal Growth

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Follow Doris Jeanette on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DorisJeanettemirrorLook in the mirror and expose your denial.

Personal Growth Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Denial is your worst enemy.  Denial can be the difference between successful personal growth and unsuccessful personal growth. Denial lowers your self-esteem and ruins relationships.

What is Denial?

Denial is when you think one thing and another thing is real in physical form.  Denial is when you have an image of yourself that is not based in reality. This image can be a puffed up perfect image of yourself or a low self-esteem image.

In my audio series, “Opening the Heart,” I use the example of my Philadelphia trolley driver.  The trolley driver was ferociously biting his fingernails as he was driving me to the sound studio where I recorded the heart healing audio series. He did not seem to have any awareness of what his teeth were doing to the tips of his fingers.

The communication the trolley driver’s body was sending to the world was crystal clear.  An educated person could look at his behavior and see what his body was communicating.  Reading his body language it was obvious his unconscious act of biting his fingernails meant he was extremely anxious at that moment in time.

Yet, if I had asked the Philadelphia trolly driver if he was anxious, he would probably say, “No, I am not anxious. I am not afraid of anything. I drive this trolley everyday. There is nothing to be afraid of.”

However, his body was clearly communicating to an educated observer that he was in a highly anxious state as he was driving his trolley.  The driver was denying he had high anxiety, yet his nervous system was extremely upset.

Is Your Denial Destroying Your Personal Development?

If you have not been getting the results that you want or need, consider the possibility that you could be stuck in denial.  If you have not been able to relax and feel close to others so you can reach your relationship goals, look around for your denial.

Denial is a total waste of energy. It keeps you from knowing that you are anxious.  Every single human being on the planet right now has some degree of anxiety in their nervous system.  Therefore, if you are not in touch with your anxiety level, as it comes and goes on a daily basis, then you are in denial.

It is only logical that you cannot do anything to become less anxious until you admit that you are anxious! This means you need to expose your denial so your personal growth pays out big dividends. Expose your denial so you can relax, be close with others and enjoy life.

How to Expose Your Denial?

If you consider the physical information around you, your personal growth will immediately become wildly successful.  This is because feedback from the real world exposes psychological denial.

One of the first things I did when my heart was broken at the age of 34 was look in the mirror.  Mirrors give you concrete feedback that you can learn to see and use for your personal development.  The image in the mirror is reality. Reality destroys denial.

It does not matter what you think or what you tell yourself, your physical body reveals the truth. To overcome denial, begin by observing your body and pay attention to what your body is actually doing in real time.

Body Exercise to Break Through Denial:

Looking in the mirror can be extremely helpful. Look at yourself to see physical feedback about what is happening in your nervous system. See if you can tell how you are really feeling inside.

Other people look at you all the time.

It is to your advantage to see what others are seeing. Take off all your clothes and stand in front of a full length mirror.  Look at yourself in the mirror for a good five minutes. If you cannot do this exercise without your clothes, start with your clothes on.

1.  Look at your whole body from the front.
2.  Turn and look at the back of your body.
3.  Now look at both sides of your body.
4.  Pay attention to your face, what do you see?
5.  How is your face attached to your body?
6.  If your face separate or part of your body?
6.  Write down all the places you see tension in your body.
7.  Write down all the mental judgments you notice in your head.

Admitting the truth to yourself about what you see and how you feel standing naked in front of a mirror will help you begin to give up denial.  To make dramatic progress, enjoy a daily practice of stopping to look at who is in the mirror.

The faster you give up denial, the faster you will be able to accept and love yourself–just as you are, naked and real.  Say goodbye to denial and ego images, they don’t improve your self-esteem or help you make love.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and comments below.

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LISTEN TO YOUR BODY: Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Learn to listen to the communications your body is screaming at you.  Yes, your body is screaming. Order “Hear Your Body Talking,” one hour personal growth audio for $29.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order “Hear Your Body Talking”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

Order “Hear Your Body Talking” by Sunday May 5 and get the one hour audio, “How to Read Body Language.” This introduction to how to read body language is from a class I taught a few years ago. It is a very helpful guide to learning how to read body language. Worth $49.97. You must mention The Vibrant Moment to get the free audio.

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FOR MEN: BECOME A BETTER LOVER: A anxiety reduction course to help you relax and become more self-confident as an emotional and physical lover. You can feel good and experience more love by learning how to give and receive physical and emotional love with self-esteem. 6 hours of audio and 10 written lessons. $199.97

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/becomeabetterlover.html

FOR WOMEN: If you want to improve your ability to give and receive physical and emotional love, take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. This course reduces general anxiety although it does not specifically address sexual anxiety.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

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Human Energy Tune Up: Want to improve your self-esteem or love making skills? Learn to read the energy around you and between you and others.  Private Energy Retreats teach you how to real body language and sense the human energy data that exists in physical reality. You need to know physical reality to improve your self-esteem and love relationship skills. Enjoy a retreat alone or as a couple.

Read and order option number 2:
http://www.drjeanette.com/privatehumanenergy.html

Solution to Violence in USA: Improve Mental Health, Begin with Pleasure and Native Culture

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Let thyself feel good.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.htm

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Pleasure often has a dirty connotation.

If you indulge yourself in pleasure, some would call you a “sinner”, “hedonist”, “selfish” or “wanton”. One of the sources of judgment in the USA against pleasure is definitely the Puritan society that Americans inherited.  Unfortunately, the Puritan cover-up-your-whole-body-with-lots-of-clothes culture replaced the Native American culture who wore just the clothes that were needed.

These Puritans came from British and still have quite a bit of control over our modern day culture.  Michael Moore’s documentary, Bowling for Columbine ended with these funny dressed Puritans as a possible source of the violence in America.

How far removed are you from the thinking that made Hester Prynne wear a scarlet letter on her dress?  Have you found judgments against pleasure in your unconscious? Probably so. Quite a few nasty judgments toward physical pleasure have been exposed in my psyche as I have broken away from my Puritan conditioning.

The cross-cultural research conducted by James W. Prescott in the 1970s found that pleasure was the antidote for violence.  Dr. Prescott, a neuropsychologist found a strong direct correlation between the amount of bodily pleasure parents gave their children and the degree to which violent behavior existed in the culture.

The Polynesian cultures were the least violent cultures and they were the ones who physically touched and loved their infants the most. It is not a surprise that he discovered that cultures who hit their children had the most violence.  Important psychological studies like this do not get the attention they need from the media, college professors, congress or clinical psychologists.

In my professional opinion, bodily pleasure is the solution to violence in America. Gun control will not improve the mental health of children who grow up and act out in violent ways at schools, marathons and theaters.  It is the mental health of America that must be improved if you want to stop violent behavior.

Until mental health is taken seriously and parents learn how to grow mentally healthy children, violence acts will continue to occur at an alarming rate. Dr. Prescott’s research is an excellent place to begin reducing violence. Pleasure is one of the alternative medicines I use to treat aggressive behavior, depression, anxiety, addictions, obsessions and general bad feelings.

If pleasure works for all these conditions, just think what adding more pleasure to your life could do for your health and wellness. Do you know what kinds of activities make you feel good?

Find Out What Bodily Pleasures You Need Exercise:

Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Then ask your body to visually show or tell you the three pleasures it needs and wants in order to be strong, healthy and happy.  Listen carefully.  Write down the three things.

Notice any judgments you have toward these activities. Do you usually let your judgments keep you from giving these physical pleasures to yourself? Pay attention to any guilt that might be hanging around left over from those mean Puritans who wanted to see Hester suffer and hanged.

I hope you can take action and add these three pleasures to your life. Pleasure will help you reach holistic health because you will experience many vibrant moments of being alive.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about mental health, violence and pleasure by adding your comment.

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LISTEN TO YOUR BODY: Your body knows a whole lot more wisdom than your conscious mind. Learn the three reasons you have a body and how to love and listen to your body. Order “Hear Your Body Talking”, one hour personal growth audio for $29.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order “Hear Your Body Talking”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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GIVE YOURSELF PLEASURE:  Attend the Spring Nature Workshop in Cape May, NJ, Saturday, May 4.  The theme will focus on helping you experience more pleasure and joy in life. You will learn how to stop judgment and guilt from ruining your joy. There will be bodily exercises that feel good. $200.00 fee.  Limited to 12 men and women.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

Personal Growth Tip: Get Excited, Follow Your Bliss and Heart

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Get excited!
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Often I remind you how important it is to use relaxation therapy until you have a reliable, dependable relaxation response at your fingertips.  Yes, it is imperative that you have the ability to achieve a calm and still state so your body and nerves can receive the healthy energy you need from the outside world.

However, relaxation is not enough.

You also need to be able to get fully excited in your whole body.

You must get excited in order to charge your bodily systems with positive, vital energy.  Getting excited is what gives your body the fuel it needs to reach holistic health.  Daily doses of vital energy are essential if you want to achieve good mental health and physical strength.

However, one of the obstacles I have noticed over the 36 years I have been helping people is that many are afraid of getting excited.  As people go through the transformation process toward self-actualization, they get stuck because they do not want to get turned on and passionate about anything. It is too scary.

Take inventory of yourself.

Are you comfortable when you get excited?
Do you ignore your passions?
Are you afraid to let go of control?
Do your desires scare you?

Depression is the opposite of excitement.  Are you so afraid of your passions and excitement that you depress your energy?

Anxiety is what you feel as you become excited.  Are you able to move pass your irrational thoughts, Killjoy Monsters and Inner Critics to the open free vibrant moments of being alive?

If you want holistic health, you must allow yourself to get fully excited. When you are excited, you feel tingles of energy moving through your body.  You get goosebumps as your skin and nervous system respond to the pleasurable energy being received.

When you experience goosebumps, you are living in a vibrant moment.  Vibrant moments are full of strong, emotional energy. This potent energy automatically gives you holistic health. Happiness is the natural side effect you receive because it feels so good to be alive and full of energy.

Spring energy is exciting, fun and joyful.

In the Northern Hemisphere, use the spring energy all around you to fuel your fire so you get excited.  In the Southern Hemisphere, use your imagination to fuel your fire for holistic health.

Resonate with spring energy.  Feel the ing in the spring.  Feel the excitement of Mother Earth as she wakes up. Feel the excitement in you as you wake up.

Let spring energy put some spring in your step and joy in your heart.

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TAME YOUR KILLJOY MONSTER: You will get excited when you learn to tame your Killjoy Monster.  Take the home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”   Learn to be assertive with negative thoughts from others or yourself.  Slay negative thoughts so you get excited and passionate about life. 46 pages, six lessons and six hours of audio, $149.97.

Read about Assertiveness Training the Holistic Psychology Way:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order by Monday, April 22 and get a discount coupon worth $25.00 on your next purchase. You must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box.

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GET EXCITED:  Attend the Spring Nature Workshop in Cape May, NJ, Saturday, May 4.  Enjoy full body exercises made to help you get excited and feel safe while being turned on. The theme will focus on helping you experience more pleasure and joy in life without judgment and guilt.  $200.00 fee.  Limited to 12 men and women.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

Bring a friend discount. Two for $300.00
To get the friend discount you must mail a check to:
Doris Jeanette
503 S. 21 St.
Philadelphia, PA 19146

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Holistic Health and Wellness Treatments that Make You Healthy and Happy

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Love Thy Body at Any Agebody

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Love yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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How many times a day do you say kind things to your body?
Do you check in daily to see what your emotional self needs?

If you ignore, reject and hate your body, you will get one set of results. If you love your body and take care of it, you will get another set of results.

If you hate your emotions when they surface and wish you did not feel that way, you will get one set of results.  If you take positive actions as a result of the vital information you receive from your emotional self, you will get another set of results.

Health and wellness are not accidents. Disease and sickness do not occur as random acts of probability.  Health and wellness are direct results of certain well-defined factors.
One of the most important factors, and a factor that you have complete mastery over is how much you love yourself.

If you listen to your emotions, you will discover exactly what you need to do differently in order to meet your emotional needs. If you don’t meet your emotional needs, there is no way you can achieve health and wellness or happiness and self-actualization.

Loving yourself is often considered hokey, unfashionable, silly or down right sinful.  Yes, most religions and many judgmental parents teach you to hate your body and ignore your emotional needs.

You have been taught that:
“You are a terrible sinner.”
“Your body is dirty.”
“Sex is sinful.”
“Your emotional needs are not important, get over it.”
“Just stop being afraid and do it.”

However, no matter what others have taught you, natural law prevails. Self-acceptance is the only way you will ever reach holistic health and wellness.  Self-rejection will always result in a lack of mental health and emotional health.

If you do not love your body and take care of it, there is no way you can have a strong and sturdy body.  An unloved body is sick and moving toward mental illness or physical disease.
If you do not love your emotional self and take care of your emotional needs, there is no way you can achieve mental health and wellness.  You will never be happy or experience the joy of self-actualization.

Self-love is the best drug you can find anywhere in the world. Self-acceptance will take you directly to health and wellness. You can even get immediate results when you self-administer this natural treatment in the moments of your life.

Self-love is the most potent medication you can buy at any price.  An investment in learning how to love yourself is worth your life.  So take a dose of self-love today if you want to move toward health and wellness.

Holistic Health and Wellness Natural Treatments:

1.   Say something kind to your body at least three times today and notice the effect.  See if you can feel how self-love energy feels in your body as opposed to self-rejection.  Notice how your nervous system, cells, muscles, stomach and organs respond when you say something kind.

2.  Spend 5 minutes twice a day slowing down and tuning into your heart. Look around and see if you can find your emotional self. This part of you is keeping your vital energy alive so you can use it as needed for health and wellness.  Establish a loving connection with your emotional self. Listen to the feedback she or he gives you about what you need to do differently today in order to feel emotionally good today. Take action on the feedback you receive and see how good you feel all over.

If something is in your way or making it difficult for you to connect in a loving way with your emotional self, use the “Opening the Heart” emotional health audio guide.  Or get a teacher to show you how to find, accept and follow your potent emotional self.

What do you feel is the direct pathway to health and wellness?  Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback on this blog.

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LOVE YOUR BODY:  Stop hating and rejecting your body. Learn more about the reasons you have a physical body in the first place.  Get holistic psychology support and guidance about how to take care of your body for more health and wellness. One hour personal growth audio, “Hear Your Body Talking,” $29.97, money back guarantee.

Read how to love your body and order: http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

Order by Monday, April 15 and get a discount coupon worth $30.00 on your next purchase. Must mention “The Vibrant Moment” to get discount.

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GET A LESSON IN SELF-LOVE:  Attend the spring Nature Workshop in Cape May, NJ, Saturday, May 4. Enjoy fun body and emotional health exercises made to help you love your body and emotional self. Get practice feeling emotionally safe and physically secure.  As a Vibrant Moment reader, sign up early and get a discount off the $200.00 fee.  Limited to 12 men and women.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

Sign up before April 15 for $175.00.
To get the $25.00 discount you must mail a check to:
Doris Jeanette
503 S. 21 St.
Philadelphia, PA 19146

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VIRTUAL GROUP RELAXATION THERAPY:  Join a small group on Skype once a month for four months.  I will help you fine tune your relaxation response so you can sense and feel more color.  The group will take place on the first Wednesday night of each month beginning at 6:30 PM, ET, in May.  Cost will be $149.00 for four-hour sessions, limited to six people. Email me about your interest. Group times and dates can be changed if members need them changed due to prior commitments.

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