Break free and assert yourself so you can live fully and richly. This is Doris Jeanette at a younger age in Williamsburg, Virginia when her name was Doris Ward.
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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Take a breath and speak.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Do your friends talk too much?
Do you talk too much?
Remember the song “You Talk Too Much”, a 1960 single hit by Joe Jones? It was written by Fats Domino’s brother-in-law, Reginald Hall, but Fats turned down the song. So Joe Jones made the catchy lyrics, “You talk too much, you worry me to death,” famous.
Most of us have a friend or two who talks too much. They go on and on with their stories, concerns and ideas. They do not take a breath and give us room to talk and respond to what they are saying. Instead, they control the conversation. Ugh.
Talking too much is a sign of high anxiety. In general, the higher the pitch, the higher the anxiety. The louder the voice, the higher the anxiety. The faster the speech, the higher the anxiety.
So, what do you do when one of your friends talk too much? Do you smile and act polite in the moment and avoid her in the future? This is how the majority of people respond. People tend to avoid people who talk too much.
I have even noticed, during my 36 years of couples therapy, that people are more prepared to leave their relationship and break up than tell their partner the truth. At the beginning of couples therapy, almost 95% of the time one person in the relationship is planning on breaking up because she wants to avoid the other person’s controlling behavior.
This means that a woman would rather leave her marriage or break up with her lover than tell her partner the truth about something that he or she is doing that is controlling and hurtful. When you really stop to think about it, this is an amazing statistic. How could it be easier to go through a break up or divorce than to tell your partner what you need to tell her or him so that you can grow and flourish in the relationship?
In reality, it is not easier to break up your relationships, it is easier to engage in effective personal growth. Instead of avoiding your friend who talks too much, you could become more effective and powerful in your relationship with her. You could learn how to speak up and take care of yourself. Then you can keep her as a friend and not have to sit there politely controlled by her anxiety ever again.
You can be assertive, stand up for yourself and create a big wide world for you to live in with lots of healthy relationships.
Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about relationships, assertiveness and marriage conflicts below.
FIGHTING? PREVENT BREAK UP OR DIVORCE: Consider taking the steps that empower you in relationships so that you do not have to break up or get a divorce. The special report, “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up,” can be used as a preventive measure or use it to heal your heart after a painful divorce or break up. PDF file, $9.97, money back guarantee.
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STAND UP TO CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR: Learn the interpersonal skills you need so you can communicate to your friend who talks too much that you are no longer interested in listening. Then you do not have to go through life avoiding people. Take the Home Study Course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” This Assertiveness Training course includes the regular information in any good Assertiveness Training course plus a holistic, energy point of view that makes you even more effective in dealing with people. Money back guarantee, six lessons and over 9 hours of audio, $149.97.
Read more and order your Assertiveness Training course:
Order by Monday, June 10 and get the one hour “Introduction to Body Language” audio worth $49.97. This audio is rarely available for sale. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get free body language audio.
Read and study the Amazon Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” This emotional health information will help discover your emotional truths. You do not have to own a kindle, just download a reader to your iPad or computer. Only $3.99.
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