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Walking the truth in the forest near New Hope, PA.
The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Assert Your Truth.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor
A reader of The Vibrant Moment expressed how she was feeling about some medical problems she just found out about in a recent email to me. Then she abruptly called herself out on “whining. ” Of course, as soon as she judged herself as whining, she immediately stopped sharing how she was feeling and changed the topic.
Do you block your emotional expressions by calling yourself names?
If you do, you are making sure you do not move forward into new, unexplored emotional territory. If you want to do transformational work, which means you physically change your energy, you must express your truths no matter what they are at any given moment in time.
Of course, I do not encourage whining. However, are you really whining? Maybe yes and maybe no. If you want to get to the heart of what is really going on with you psychologically, do not stop your truths at any point in time.
Even if you are whining, stopping yourself in this fashion keeps you from getting down to your unconscious truths. While knowing the difference between expressing your authentic feelings and whining is important, it is even more important not to block self-expression in the moment it is happening.
This means it is better to whine so you can see that you are whining, rather than stop yourself from whining before you can tell if you are whining or not! The act of controlling your energy is the oppressive psychological problem, not the whining.
Just imagine if you stepped back and look at your process instead of your words. As a holistic psychologist, I teach you to notice your process so you discover what is really going on inside of you and outside of you. If you do not let your unconscious material surface, it continues to control you. The only way to claim your power is to expose your truths.
If you stay stuck in the content, you quickly sink into psychobabble, which is what often happens in regular talk therapy. You also reinforce your controlling behavior of trying not to whine. You think that you are whining, complaining and being negative, but are you really? And if you are, “So what?”
How much power would you have if you learned to notice the how, what, when, where and why behind your words? When you pay attention to process, you quickly move beyond your thoughts and conditioned reactions into more physical data. Noticing your process gives you the energy needed to master yourself.
It does not matter if you are whining or not. When you pay attention to your process, you may discover that you were not whining in the first place. Or you may see that you are whining. If so, you can learn a more effective way to get what you need or want.
Here is my clinical observation about whining and whiners. When you judge yourself as whining, there is a high probability that you are not whining. The whiner usually has no awareness of the fact that she or he is whining. The whiner does not notice how she is being received by others because she is not conscious of it.
I will explain the energy difference between whining and expressing your authentic feelings and emotions next week. In the mean time, help me do some research about what I just said about whiners. Observe yourself this week and observe other people. Is my clinical observation correct? Do whiners judge themselves and stop? Or do whiners keep whining?
Please post your feelings, thoughts and comments about self-awareness, emotional expression and whining below.
SEEKING TRANSFORMATION? The body and energy exercises at the fall Nature Workshop give you a safe place to express your truths. Learn to notice and trust your process by having fun outdoors with an emotionally safe leader. Asserting your truths makes you stronger and more self-confident. Sign up for the Nature Workshop near New Hope, PA, October 12, $200.00. Limited to 12 people to maximized your personal growth experience.
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