How to Achieve Emotional Health and Maturity? Breathe and Feel.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Breathe and Feel.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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Here is an emotional health question I received from an Indian woman:

“I’m a published writer and a thinker. Thus, I’m intellectually and physically mature, but emotionally, a child.

There could be a few reasons why I stayed a child emotionally. No amount of self-knowledge seems to help, as I still react like a naive schoolgirl to situations where the emotions are involved, although I’m a reasonably happy person, generally.

My question is whatever the reason for the delay, how do I now cross over from girlhood to womanhood emotionally?”

This Indian woman is well ahead of most people because she knows she is not emotionally mature. Unfortunately, many people think they are emotionally mature and they are not. If you control and manage your emotions you may think you are mature. But are you?

This intellectual Indian woman knows she reacts like a naive showgirl. Do you notice when you react like a spoilt brat? Or victim? Or self-righteous know-it-all? If not, begin to notice any knee jerk reactions that do not go through your body and heart before being expressed.

Anytime you react immediately to anything in your life, you are having a reaction. A reaction is a conditioned response. If you feel like you must immediately answer that email, return that phone call or set someone straight-beware! You are reacting.

If you get an upsetting email, phone call or you think someone is attacking you, what do you do? If you think something “bad” is happening, slow down. You are reacting. Reactions occur when you are being controlled by your past learning history.

Reactions are the opposite of emotional maturity. Reactions make you weak and ineffective in relationships. You feel insecure and unloved. Emotional maturity feels good all over! You feel secure and self-confident with yourself and others.

How can you become emotionally healthy and mature?

When anything what-so-ever happens in your life. Take a deep breath and feel your emotions. “Breathe and feel” is the mantra I use throughout the “Opening the Heart” audio because that is how I noticed and reduced my defensive reactions.

“Breathe and feel” really works. As you exhale, let go of your breath and let go of control. Invite your authentic emotions into your awareness when you say to yourself, “feel.”

The emotionally mature response in all situations is to feel your authentic emotions. Feeling your emotions takes you to a different place. Or to many different places. You could have strong, intense emotions that go in opposite directions. Most of us do!

All you have to do is feel your emotions. Accept them. Enjoy them. They are colorful clouds of matter. When you feel your emotions instead of reacting, you are secure and self-confident.
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NEED HELP FEELINGS YOUR EMOTIONS? The “Breathe and feel” mantra in the “Opening the Heart” audio helps you find and experience your authentic emotions. You are lovingly guided into your solar plexus where your emotions live. The emotional health audio helps you stay with yourself so you become more secure and stronger. Learn the difference between reacting and feeling. For example, feeling sorry for yourself is not the same as feeling sadness. Three-hour audio on feelings, fear and hurt, $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

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ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Once you know how you feel, then you need to learn how to be effective in expressing your emotions to others. To help you become more skillful in relationships take the Assertiveness Training home study course: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” Use the coupon HEART to get $30.00 off. 46-page manual as a PDF file PLUS over six hours of audio as mp3s. $147.97, money back guarantee.

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

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Mental Health Advice: Learn to Read Body Language

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Read body language.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Several years ago, my mother was preparing her famous southern scallop potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner when I noticed she severely tightened up her lips as she was pouring the potatoes into the baking dish.

As soon as I saw the body language of my mother I realized where I learned to tighten my lips. Not only did I see myself in her, I realized her tight lips were trying to control the outcome of her potatoes! Never had I thought about control being a factor when cooking.

In the 1970’s I received referrals from the Beck Institute at the University of Pennsylvania. While looking for new ways to help people who did not benefit from psychotherapy or CBT, I begin to actively use body language and body awareness with my new referrals. This is when I discovered the difference between control and power. Read last week’s The Vibrant Moment for the definition and difference between control and power:  Relationship Advice: Choose Power, not Control

When I taught my clients to notice their body, face, lips, feet, stomach, and what their physical form was doing at any point in time, they were much more likely to give up their denial, exaggeration, and defensive behaviors quickly without resistance. Noticing when they controlled themselves and when they did not was much more effective that trying to change their negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

This is because the tension in your body gives you the feedback that you are in control and not in your power. You can learn to feel how control feels in your body. You may or may not notice when your body is tense. Many people do not. This is the reason taking body language classes, workshops, and home study courses help you become more body conscious.

Also, use mirrors and photographs. Mirrors and photographs help you become more aware if you slow down and look. Do not throw away the photos you do not like. For example, recently a stranger was using my Nikon camera to photograph a family holiday card for me. I was directing her as she was taking the photo. At first, I did not think she was clicking all the way through because the light did not flash.

When I looked at the photos I could see she had indeed taken them correctly. I could also see how I looked when I did not think she was taking them correctly! You should see my face. Unattractive, screwed up and tense. And tight, especially my lips. Yes, of course, my lips.

So, my control showed up for me to see once again. Did my tight face help make the photos better? Did my mother’s tight lips make her potatoes taste better. Nope. Control never makes anything better.

Remembering how I looked in control sure reminds me to relax my lips more often throughout the day.

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CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

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BODY AWARENESS HOME STUDY COURSE: It is your Inner Critic who controls you and makes you anxious. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course leads you into more body awareness so you become strong enough to throw your inner critic off your chest. Then you breath and feel much more relaxed being in your power. $149.97, 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are doing and feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

Call:  215-732-6197.

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Self Confidence Tip: Choose Power and Forget Control

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Choose Power.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

When I first noticed I was nervous before a certain client arrived for our session, I became very curious as to the reason I would experience anxiety with her and not any of my other clients. My client always dressed perfectly, had lots of money, a good job, and had no problem except for losing her partner.

Exploring the reason I was nervous about meeting with this client lead to one of my first major breakthroughs as a young psychologist. I discovered the physical difference between control and power. Most people, and many psychologists, are fooled by the man or woman who exhibits a great deal of control.

In some circles, controlling your behavior is highly praised and valued in the USA and Europe. In my early psychotherapy groups, I often had to deal with some members putting the controlled person in the group up on a pedestal. As a result, they felt “inferior” to the person who was in control.

Many highly controlled people are functional in the world because they are rewarded and reinforced for being “in control.” Even current psychological treatments in 2014 focus on controlling your anger, having to be positive, and thinking your way to happiness.

However, since I was using relaxation therapy and desensitization therapy back in the late 1970’s to reduce anxiety in sexual situations as a sex therapist, I knew that control was never functional in the bedroom and in matters of the heart. Control of any sort immediately kills emotional intimacy and delicious lovemaking.

As I felt my anxiety about the client who was about to arrive in my office, I suddenly realized my client was in control. She put herself on a pedestal, she was perfect. As a result, she was unpleasant to be around. I was not looking forward to seeing her.

When I realized she was in control, I knew she was highly anxious. Knowing she was anxious make it easy to be compassion toward her so I could then help her relax her body so she could feel more comfortable being herself.

The bottom-line is, the more anxious you are, the more controlling you are. The more relaxed you are, the more powerful you are.

Reading body language is extremely helpful. A tense body is different from a relaxed body. Power and control cannot exist in your body at the same time. You are either in a state of power or control. One physical state blocks out the other.

You get to choose power or control every moment of your life.

Real power is the healthy energy that is measured by physicists as voltage. The more voltage, the more power. When you are in a state of power you radiate good energy around you and your resistance to disease is high.

Power is the vital energy that gives you vibrant moments. Notice what, when, where, and how you control yourself. Then, choose to be powerful by loving yourself as you are in the moment. Give up seeking to be in control.

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CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you the feedback about whether you are in control or power. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

If I do not answer your email, call me at 215-732-6197.

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Self Esteem Tip: Say Something Nice to Yourself

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Say kind words out loud.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

You are important and you matter.

How many times a day do you say something kind, warm, and encouraging to yourself? Most of you did not learn to say loving, positive, supportive words to yourself because your parents did not model self-loving behavior for you.

You learn how to relate to yourself based on how your parents related to themselves. Even if your parents did their best to be kind to you, you learned to relate to yourself based on the behavior they modeled for you.

My mother was kind to me. However, she yelled mean, nasty things to herself whenever she made a mistake. As a result, I learned to yell mean, nasty things to myself when I made a mistake.

What did you learn from your mother? Father? Teachers?

Unfortunately, self-judgment, self- criticism and self-rejection are universal mental health problems. However, the good news is, since self-judgment is a learned behavior, you can unlearn this unhelpful behavior.

Early in my career, I noticed that I attacked myself viciously when I make a mistake in my professional practice. If I made a mistake about the time of an appointment, I would be mean to myself for over two weeks without any reprise. It was as if I had committed the ultimate sin of all sins and could not be forgiven!

As I brought this unconscious nasty behavior up to my conscious mind, I realized how unhelpful self-judgment was to my well-being, self-confidence, and mental health. Making myself miserable and destroying my self-confidence was not what I wanted to do to myself.

So, I put into practice what I was teaching my clients. I began to be kinder, more understanding and patient with myself when I made a mistake. The ultimate truth is, when you make a mistake, is when you desperately need love not judgment!

Besides, you get much better results when you are kind to yourself than you do when you are mean to yourself. When I was kinder to myself, I was less likely to make mistakes in general because I was more relaxed and comfortable. In addition, I was more fun to be around because I was not making other people wrong and bad all the time when they made a mistake.

Unkind words projected out on others are the natural outcome of self-judgment. If you are being unkind to others or think others are being unkind to you, notice how you are relating to yourself. Your nastiness is occurring in your own head or lurking in your unconscious!

Being unkind is not the same thing as being honest and assertive. Meanness has a very different energy from assertiveness. Highly sensitive people can feel the barbs that come with nasty, attacking energy. Attacks on yourself or others are never justified–no matter what.

So, notice the words you say to yourself.

Bring up your nasty comments to your conscious mind so they do not hurt you anymore. Own your meanness and stop projecting it out on others. Taking responsibility for your thoughts is the only way you can unlearn this unkind way of relating to yourself.

Next, shift into saying kind, positive, and loving words to yourself out loud. This quickly improves your mood, day, and self-confidence. Your cells smile and your whole mind body benefits.

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HEAR KIND WORDS IN YOUR EARS: My comforting voice puts kind, loving words in your head and psyche. Use anytime you want to feel better about yourself and relax. The “Opening the Heart” audio, models for you how to be kinder and more loving toward yourself. Receive comfort and learn to be kinder toward yourself as you take an inner journey into your solar plexus and heart. 3 hours, mp3, CDs, $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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CLICK TO HEAR THE AUDIO SAMPLE: http://www.drjeanette.com/feelingsweb.mp3

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STOP JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS: The “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course helps you become conscious of how mean you are being to yourself with awareness exercises. You learn how your attacks on yourself make you anxious. The 10 written lessons models self-loving behavior so you stop being so nasty to yourself. PLUS you get the “Opening the Heart,” “Tame Your Thoughts” and “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview” audio all for $149.97, money-back guaranteed.

Read more and order:
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Stress Management Tip: Become Emotionally Healthy by Feeling Your Feelings

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Handle Stress Effectively.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you want to handle stress with more ease and grace?

Tina Gilbertson, says in her book, Constructive Wallowing, “For all of us, how we deal with our feelings has an impact on how quickly we’re able to bounce back from setbacks large and small.” Sometimes life throws us difficult events. Whether it is a wet basement, fleas on your pets, or a mother nearing the end of her life, you handle these events much more effectively when you handle your feelings in an emotionally healthy fashion.

What is an emotionally healthy fashion?

When you allow yourself to feel your feelings instead of making them wrong or bad, you become emotionally healthy. So, no matter what you feel, “Feel, baby feel!” This emotional health fact, is one of the major reasons Talk Therapy is so limited.

Stress happens often to everyone. When you do not feel good, you do not need to talk about your feelings. Instead, you need someone to teach you how to feel your feelings so you move forward toward the light at the end of the tunnel.

You need to learn how to move through the realities of life without being overwhelmed by the energy of stress. This will help you feel better, and you become an emotionally healthy role model for your children, relatives, and friends.

Therefore, the best use of your time, energy, and money is to learn how to feel your body feelings and emotional feelings as they occur. Do not put your emotional needs on the back burner. Feeling your feelings is the successful way out of any stressful event.

Here is a list of things you can do to help you feel your feelings.

1. Write out your feelings without censorship.
2. Dance how you feel.
3. Take boxing lessons.
4. Take an acting class.
5. Draw how you feel.
6. Listen to music, especially opera.
7. Dress up for Halloween as needed.

It does not matter what you feel, what matters is admitting the truth about HOW you feel. You may feel like the Wicked Witch of the West or the Fairy God Mother. Whether you are the Tin Man without a heart or the Lion without courage, admit the raw truth of how you feel deep down inside.

Let your body tell you the truth about how you feel. Your body knows the truth, it cannot lie. If you stop your bully brain from controlling you, your body automatically reveals how you feel. Let go of control and allow your body to express how you truly feel.

When you admit the truth of how weak you feel deep down inside, a marvelous event occurs. You gain more strength, courage, and emotional health. Tis true. Mother Nature is not a fool.

You must fall down into the deep unconscious of your truths, to rise up to the wonderful person you are.  Try being the person you hate the most for a day and own this part of you. Start planning your Halloween costume based on the part of you, you find distasteful.

What happens when you admit unconscious truths?

You suddenly handle stress more effectively. You do not get stuck in the mess of your own mental judgments making you a bad person. You heal some past wounds. You reach the light at the end of the darkness.

Breaking free, you join the human race. You are no longer better or worse than another.

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BODY FEELINGS: Move forward and become more self-confident. Your body knows how you feel. All you have to do is hear what your body is screaming at you. For better physical, mental, and emotional health stop rejecting and blaming your body. Instead, love your body and let it tell you the truth about how you feel. Study the one-hour audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking.” CD or mp3, $29.97, Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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BECOME EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY! Assertiveness Training is often misunderstood. It is an excellent way to feel your feelings and learn how to express your feelings in healthy ways that are not passive or aggressive. Take the home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” A 31-page manual PLUS over 8 hours of audio coaching with real people and real problems.

Read more and order your Assertiveness Training Course:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

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Feel and Express Love for a Healthy Heart and Loving Relationships

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel and Express Love.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Perhaps you are beginning to feel the difference between your healthy, authentic emotions and an unhelpful conditioned response after last weeks’ The Vibrant Moment. If you missed it, I defined and differentiated feelings, emotions, thoughts, and conditioned responses from each other: https://thevibrantmoment.com/2014/08/27/emotional-health-advice-learn-the-difference-between-thoughts-feelings-and-emotions/

Something you learned is very different from something you did not learn.

A conditioned response is something you learned. An authentic emotion is something you did not learn. An example of an authentic emotion is love. You did not learn to love, you were born loving. And a matter of fact, I would say you were born TO love. If your heart feels love for something or someone you feel love and that is that.

The reason you were a bundle of joy as a little baby is because you felt and expressed so much love. Now, as an adult, you feel the energy of love bubbling up in your heart from time to time. This feeling happens organically in your heart and solar plexus, without any thoughts or reason.

Once your heart is full of love, this energy naturally radiates outward away from you. This powerful energy is exactly what you need to be healthy in heart, mind, and body. Love is what you need to be happy and effective. Love connects us to each other and makes life worth living.

Of course, you can deny, repress, stop, and block your authentic feelings of love. Unfortunately, this is exactly what a large number of human beings do. In addition, you may love someone and something and cannot fully express the love you feel. Therefore, millions of people have learned to inhibit their natural feelings of love. When you inhibit your natural feelings of love, you feel lonely, isolated, sad, and unloved.

In this painful reality, your unhelpful conditioned response is how you learned to deny, repress, stop, and block your authentic feelings of love. Begin to notice what behaviors you do that control and inhibit your natural loving feelings. Notice what muscles tighten up and what happens in your nervous system. What are you squeezing and hurting when you inhibit the energy of love?

It is quite interesting that western medicine finds that the thymus on most adults has atrophied. Yes, this means your thymus may have dried up and stopped working properly. Could this be because your heart was not allowed to fully feel the love it feels? Consider the possibility.

It has been well established by western medical research that the thymus regulates the immune system. According to eastern medicine, the thymus regulates the heart charka. The research in applied kinesiology, which uses the strength of your muscles to determine if something is healthy for you or not, reveals that an alive thymus does indeed improve your immune system and immediately makes your whole energy field stronger.

So, it is true that a few thumps on the thymus immediately makes your muscles stronger and thus, healthier. This is the reason I use and teach my students and clients the Thymus Thump! Get to know your thymus and bring it back to life with physical touch and emotional love.

Inhibiting love is a conditioned response; unlearn this unhelpful behavior as quickly as you can.

Love is an authentic emotion; let it flow, so you glow!

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FEEL YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS: Discover for yourself how thoughts, feelings, emotions, and conditioned responses are different when you listen to the “Opening the Heart” audio. Become more lovable by sorting through the different energies in yourself so you learn to live without knee jerk responses. Feel the love in your heart so you can express this love to yourself and others. 3 hours of comforting, relaxing, educational audio on feelings, fear, and hurt. $97.00, eBook also available for $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “Opening the Heart”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

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NEED HELP ADDING LOVE TO SEX? Take the home study course, “For Men: How to Become a Better Lover.” Being emotional is often harder for men than women and as a result your sex life may suffer. Let your heart feel and express the love you feel for your beloved. The sweetness and pleasure you feel is worth the investment in yourself. Learn to relax your body, get in the sensuous moment, and feel your emotions. The “Opening the Heart” audio is included PLUS 10 written lessons and 5 more hours of audio. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

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Holistic Heart Health Treatment: Open Your Heart by Healing Emotional Distress

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Open Your Heart.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

How does an open heart chakra feel?

A closed heart, does not feel. It blocks all emotions and feelings. Read last week’s The Vibrant Moment about how anxiety affects your nervous system and heart physically: https://thevibrantmoment.com/?p=1253 This week we are looking at how a closed heart chakra affects the health of your heart.

A chakra is a place on your body where more energy goes and comes than in other places on your body. Think of a chakra as a pathway, a door, vortex, or hole. It is an energy center; where energy is suppose to move in and out of your body naturally and normally to maintain good holistic health.

A closed heart is one that inhibits the natural flow and blocks the energy from coming in or from going out of your body. An open heart allows energy to freely move in and out without being stopped. Unfortunately, you cannot choose the energy that comes in and out.

This means that whatever type of energy that is occurring outside of you at any moment in time comes in. Thus, the anxiety your parents experienced came into your open heart as a child, without either you or them knowing this was occurring. As a child, you were not equipped with the psychological tools needed to deal with your parents’ anxiety.

Anxiety is unpleasant, naturally you wanted to move away from it. Consequently, as a child, you closed your energy centers whenever someone’s anxiety hurt and wounded you. This occurred automatically over time. You were unconsciously opening and closing your energy centers because you were trying to protect yourself from being hurt.

The stimuli that made you close your heart could be your mother hurting your feelings or your father throwing you against the wall. Little and big, emotional and physical hurts, all create the same result: a closed heart chakra. Usually, the more you were hurt, the more you close your energy centers and the harder it is to open them.

I group the solar plexus, which is right underneath your breasts, with the heart chakra. These two energy centers work together to help you become a more loving, caring, sensitive, emotionally healthy person. If you want to be happy and healthy, you must re-open your energy centers so healthy energy can move in and out of you.

This is because closed energy centers create stagnate energy. Stagnant energy is the source of disease and disharmony. When energy is blocked, you become a cesspool of nasty, unhealthy energy. This stagnant energy is what fundamentally makes you mentally and physically sick.

Therefore, if you want to be healthy, you must return to a more open, healthy flow of energy so your cells get the vital energy they need to be strong and vibrant. This is the reason opening your solar plexus and heart can dramatically, and quickly, improve your mental and physical health.

Let’s look at the scientific research on the Broken Heart Syndrome. Even though most physicians who treat the heart do not pay attention to the emotional health of their patients, you can educate yourself about heart research. Researchers have directly observed the fact that emotional distress immediately leads to physical damage to the heart.

Emotional distress occurs when you inhibit your authentic emotions. Therefore, the solution is to become emotionally healthy so you do not damage your physical heart. Since emotional distress leads directly to physical damage to the heart, your emotional wounds must be healed, just as physical wounds must be healed.

If you want to be healthy in mind and body, heal your current and past emotional wounds so you do not experience emotional distress. Healing your emotional wounds is what automatically opens your solar plexus and heart chakras.

To Open Your Heart:
1. Feel your authentic emotions and feelings.
2. Learn to love yourself.
3. Learn to love others.

When you feel your authentic emotions, vital energy is released, which automatically nourishes the cells in your body. When you learn to love yourself, instead of reject yourself, this opens your solar plexus. When you learn to love others, instead of reject others, your heart opens.

An open heart and solar plexus allows healthy, harmonious energy into your heart and breasts. This flow of vital energy creates holistic health and wellness.

Open your heart so it can be the True Master that it is!

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OPEN YOUR HEART: Use the “Opening the Heart” audio day and night to learn how to feel your authentic emotions and feelings. Learn the difference between thoughts, feelings, emotions, and conditioned responses. Learn to love yourself and your emotions. Three hours on feelings, fear, and hurt. Use over and over again to learn emotional information, receive comfort, and get the guidance you need to relax and open up your heart. Three-hour audio, $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

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NEED HELP WITH ANXIETY? Take the original, mind-body approach, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course. 10 lessons guide you step by step into body awareness so you reduce the static energy in your nervous system. Learn to breathe properly, relax, and enjoy being calm. Improves mental and physical health. 10 written lessons, 5 hours of self-help audio, including “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview” and the best selling “Opening the Heart” audio series. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

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FREE BONUS: Order before Monday, August 25 and receive the writing for emotional health audio with Emily Hanlon, best selling author of Petersburg. Emily and Doris enjoy each other as they teach you about writing and your Inner Critic. “De-fang Your Inner Critic to Find Your Voice” one hour, CD or mp3, cost, $29.97. http://www.drjeanette.com/emily.html

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Please share the holistic psychology information at http://www.drjeanette.com with anyone who is interested in learning to be happy, healthy, and effective.

Heart Health Advice: Use Holistic Health Approach and Reduce Anxiety

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Your Whole Body.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you notice your physical heart during the day?
Do you know what an open heart chakra feels like?

The health of your heart, out of all your organs, is the one most closely related to your emotional health. Since my mother was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation in the winter I have been paying much more attention to the physical heart and how it malfunctions.

Most physicians miss the bigger picture of what is going on in your body, and therefore, with your health. When one part of your body is having trouble the holistic point of view looks at your whole body, not just the troubled spot. The holistic approach makes sure you have the opportunity to prevent disease before physical damage is done. It also gets to the source of the physical problem for a more effective whole-body treatment once the damage is done.

For example, numerous research studies reveal that people who have been diagnosed with anxiety are two to three times more likely to die from a heart attack. This is a diagnosed, labeled anxiety disorder by a psychiatrist. These statistics do not include the low-grade anxiety all of us have. Every human has some degree of always-there anxiety in their body that comes from childhood conditioning which flares up under stress.

Anxiety is one of the major factors that cause heart disease and it could be the source of arial fibrillation. Your nervous system sends signals to your heart so it beats with the proper rhythm. This occurs automatically via the automatic nervous system so you do not need to think about making your heart beat correctly.

When you are anxious your nervous system becomes very upset. As a result, this static energy, which is called anxiety, sends erratic signals to your heart, instead of harmonious signals. Your heart can become so upset it cannot pump blood fully to all the proper places. This malfunction can occur for a moment in time or become chronic.

Anxiety does not kill you directly, it does so indirectly. Another example is acid reflux, which is not serious in and of itself. However, over time acid reflux can seriously damage your heart and scar your esophagus. When you are anxious, the acid build up in your stomach pushes the acid rapidly up your tense tube. Each time the acid flies up into your mouth, it pushes against your heart. Over time, the chronic bangs to your heart can result in a heart attack.

Even though the scientific research on anxiety has been well established physicians do not pay attention to the emotional health of their patients. They do not refer you to a holistic psychologist to help you reduce your anxiety naturally. Neither do they explain to you about how one part of your body is affected by the other. They treat the heart directly with medication and surgery, ignoring the dramatic reality that is taking place in your whole mind-body.

However, you can discover what upsets you by paying attention to your body during the day. You can begin to notice how much anxiety interferes with how your heart beats and keeps you alive. Anxiety affects your whole body, not just your heart, so pay attention to your stomach, colon, and other organs.

Anxiety can be just a little nervousness or a full-blown panic attack. Anxiety can be chronic, completely paralyzing, or occasional flare-ups under stress. Anxiety is any time you are thinking, not breathing correctly and your body is tight or not in your awareness. You could be one of the lucky ones because you are aware of your anxiety. Or you could be completely unconscious of your anxiety even though the people who sit beside you see your leg jumping up and down, notice your clinched jaw, and hear your high-pitched voice.

Next week, I will address your heart health by paying attention to your heart chakra. You will learn how an open heart improves your physical, mental, and emotional health. In the meantime, become more aware of your anxiety. Notice how anxiety is different from fear so you can successfully reduce the unhealthy static energy in your nervous system.

My mother is an older woman at the end of her long life. I am very sad as I deal with her declining health. Making her comfortable, keeping her safe, and loving her are my major concerns. However, everyday, I remind her to relax, take a deep breath, and breathe fully into that “Ticker” as she calls it, so more oxygen and love can comfort her heart.

Please, relax, take a deep breath and breathe fully into your heart. Take the time to feel your heart everyday and love your ticker by reducing your anxiety.

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Want Better Physical and Mental Health? Get Up and Move!

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Move.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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I leave the tissue box across the room, away from all the places to sit. My sensitive nose responses to various stimuli that others do not seem to be bothered by. Often, out of the blue, a tissue is needed due to my rapid firing nerves cells producing a sneezing attack.

So, why would I purposefully leave the tissue box across the room? Since I have to get up in order to get a tissue to blow my nose, deliberately placing them far away from me, helps me get up and move more often. It is so easy to stay at the computer writing for way too long.

Moving is essential for holistic health.

Of all the research studies on physical health and depression, the one outstanding factor that is repeatedly proven to improve physical and mental health is physical movement. Many people think of exercise when they think of physical movement. However, exercising is not always helpful.

For example, if you exercise with anxiety, you are not doing yourself any favors. Anxious exercising is the reason many people who engage in routine exercise programs do not end up with excellent holistic health. In order for your body to benefit, your exercise must be conducted in a relaxed and natural manner. Reduce your anxiety to get better results with any exercise program.

Exercise must be harmonious with your body and personality to be effective. It is the movement of your body that is important, not the exercise. How you move indicates whether you are relaxed or anxious. If you want to get the best health results, let your relaxed body lead the way with authentic movements that naturally make it stronger and healthier.

A natural event like getting up from the computer to get a needed tissue helps me move more often during my day. Think of ways you can help yourself move more often during the day. Do not make everything easy and comfortable. Get up and move. When you move, enjoy moving.

The goal is to move, while breathing and feeling your body, so you enjoy the movement. This is the physical feeling that produces more vibrant moments. Being alive in your body is a delicious feeling that is very, very healthy for you. Move.

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Feeling Guilty? Live a Guilt Free Life and Keep Loving, Healthy Relationships

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Say No To Guilt!
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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How often do you find yourself in this situation?

I am using my client, J’s example of guilt, because it is such a typical and difficult situation. Here is the email question I received this morning:

“My cousin, I’ve been close with, married a man a few years ago that I really don’t vibe with. My husband feels similarly. I’m trying to stay close to her without being very involved with him. She also has a young daughter just 6 months younger than my toddler.

They just bought a house and are moving farther away. It’s about 2.5 hrs. They invited us to a housewarming/birthday party.” I declined as politely as possible … trying not to give much reason.

Now my aunt and cousin are dissatisfied and I can feel it strongly. I made the decision because – I don’t really want to go.
– There are many other things I’m trying to focus on.
– I was invited to a friend’s child bday party I want to go to.

I already went way out of my way to sit through the most horrible wedding I’ve ever been too … I don’t want to experience that again and neither does my husband. It’s hard to explain . . .

Now I feel they’re “not happy” with my feelings … and I feel like it’s a lose/lose. If I go I won’t be happy … if I don’t go I’ll feel bad. After all I think *these are family – the people most here for me when my mom was sick. I feel bad. I want them to know I care, but I also want to care about myself.

Give me your wonderful guidance and wisdom please. Already listening to the guilt audio, but I need more specific help.

Thank you!”

What would you do?

This is definitely a guilt trap. By that I mean my client will feel bad, no matter what choice she makes. It is a lose-lose situation. The energy of a guilt trap is sticky, pulls at you, and makes it almost impossible to get out.

J is no push over. She was able to be assertive and say, “No,” the first time around. She has taken the Assertiveness Training home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” studied the self-help audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment,” and has been working with me privately for over a year.

J is clear about her feelings, yet, she is still stuck in the guilt trap. This is what I wrote back: The goal is to get out of the guilt trap and follow your authentic feelings without being passive or aggressive toward the people involved.

Take three deep breaths and intent to be true to yourself. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only your way out of this guilt trap. You want your choice to be the best choice you can make given the situation. You must live with whatever you choose.

If I already had another invitation that I had accepted I would tell my cousin the truth. If it was too far to drive back and forth in a day or night with two small children, I could tell my cousin the truth. If I could set up a fun trip and stay overnight and include the housewarming without feeling resentful, I would.

You want to transform this guilt trap into a win-win by choosing the pathway that creates the least amount of resentment for you. You may feel bad about not pleasing your aunt. You may call yourself, “Selfish and unkind.” That you can live through and transform.

Resentment, on the other hand, eats at you and makes you physically sick. Resentment permanently destroys relationships. Therefore, you want to behave in ways that do not make you physically sick and maintains an honest relationship over the years with your aunt and cousin.

Good luck in following your heart. Be aware of your feelings and reactions as you feel your way through this difficult situation. You can learn what you need to know, so the next guilt trap might not imprison you at all!

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