Category Archives: overcoming anxiety natural

Mental Health Advice: Notice and Admit Your Impatience

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Admit You are Impatient.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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How often do you get impatient? And with whom?
How often to you get irritable? And with whom?

Here is part two of the answer to the question from a reader about how to deal with impatience and irritability. Last week I exposed the fact that sometimes you think you are impatient and you are not. If you missed this reversal of reality holistic psychology information please read it here: Mental Health Relationship Advice.

Ok, I was just impatient and irritable. For real. Right this moment, before I sat down to write.

I had to bleach clothes that had e coli on them in the washing machine. As a highly sensitive person, I hate bleach, it burns my eyes. Even wearing a pair of yellow rubber gloves I was concerned I could get the toxic chemicals on my shirt or pants. But I was being very, very careful.

After diluting the bleach in the water so it would not totally ruin my clothes, some of the e coli clothes I put in floated up to the top of the water. While pushing the yucky clothes back down into the bleached water, some of the heavily bleached water in the machine got on my right sleeve and dripped down into my right glove. Yee, gads!

Rushing up my steep Center City basement stairs to wash off the bleach, I tripped at the top of the stairs. Back on my feet, I reached the kitchen sink. Pulling at the right glove, to get it off as fast as I could, it would not come off. Yanking at it, pulling and pulling with all my might, I could not get the glove off my hand.

My hand was stuck in the glove with bleach inside and outside of it. This is the moment it happened. Never having gotten my hand stuck in a very, very tight yellow rubber glove before I did not know what to do. My eyes were burning, my hand began to burn due to a cut on my finger. I was trapped. I experienced helplessness.

So, the conditions for impatience, frustration, and irritability are:

1. Something does not go right or turn out like it is suppose to. Your expectations of the outcome are not the results.
2. Your actions to change the results and make them do as you want do not work. You are not being effective.

There you have it. When these conditions exist, you are ripe for getting impatient.

So, you need to notice and admit to yourself that you are impatient. It is you and you alone. No one else is to blame.  If you are blaming someone else for your impatient energy, stop blaming them or any other outside factors. You are the one with the impatient energy and that is that!

Notice your body and how tight it is. What do you feel? What are you experiencing? Notice your thoughts and how fast they are moving and what they are saying to you. Do you want to make any sounds?

I growl, “Erg, Erg, Erg,” clinch my teeth and experience being overwhelmed. My racing thoughts are attacking me, making me wrong, rushing me to do something different and complaining about the results I am getting.

Oops! Sorry, this answer is now too long so you must wait until next week to get the solutions to being impatient and irritable! If you feel impatient as a result, please notice.

Do take note this week of when you are impatient and the factors that make you irritable. Awareness is the first step toward positive change.

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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS! Stop your thoughts from pushing you around. Racing, attacking thoughts make you impatient. Feel calmer and more relaxed by taming your thoughts. One-hour audio, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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LEARN TO READ ENERGY AND BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class, “Say Goodbye to Being Fooled” to improve your self-esteem and effectiveness in relationships. Starts in mid-January 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Email me and let me know you are interested. One-hour class weekly, one-hour peer coaching weekly, $300.00. Contact information at drjeanette.com
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How to Achieve Emotional Health and Maturity? Breathe and Feel.

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Breathe and Feel.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
====================

Here is an emotional health question I received from an Indian woman:

“I’m a published writer and a thinker. Thus, I’m intellectually and physically mature, but emotionally, a child.

There could be a few reasons why I stayed a child emotionally. No amount of self-knowledge seems to help, as I still react like a naive schoolgirl to situations where the emotions are involved, although I’m a reasonably happy person, generally.

My question is whatever the reason for the delay, how do I now cross over from girlhood to womanhood emotionally?”

This Indian woman is well ahead of most people because she knows she is not emotionally mature. Unfortunately, many people think they are emotionally mature and they are not. If you control and manage your emotions you may think you are mature. But are you?

This intellectual Indian woman knows she reacts like a naive showgirl. Do you notice when you react like a spoilt brat? Or victim? Or self-righteous know-it-all? If not, begin to notice any knee jerk reactions that do not go through your body and heart before being expressed.

Anytime you react immediately to anything in your life, you are having a reaction. A reaction is a conditioned response. If you feel like you must immediately answer that email, return that phone call or set someone straight-beware! You are reacting.

If you get an upsetting email, phone call or you think someone is attacking you, what do you do? If you think something “bad” is happening, slow down. You are reacting. Reactions occur when you are being controlled by your past learning history.

Reactions are the opposite of emotional maturity. Reactions make you weak and ineffective in relationships. You feel insecure and unloved. Emotional maturity feels good all over! You feel secure and self-confident with yourself and others.

How can you become emotionally healthy and mature?

When anything what-so-ever happens in your life. Take a deep breath and feel your emotions. “Breathe and feel” is the mantra I use throughout the “Opening the Heart” audio because that is how I noticed and reduced my defensive reactions.

“Breathe and feel” really works. As you exhale, let go of your breath and let go of control. Invite your authentic emotions into your awareness when you say to yourself, “feel.”

The emotionally mature response in all situations is to feel your authentic emotions. Feeling your emotions takes you to a different place. Or to many different places. You could have strong, intense emotions that go in opposite directions. Most of us do!

All you have to do is feel your emotions. Accept them. Enjoy them. They are colorful clouds of matter. When you feel your emotions instead of reacting, you are secure and self-confident.
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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

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Mental Health Advice: Learn to Read Body Language

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Read body language.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Several years ago, my mother was preparing her famous southern scallop potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner when I noticed she severely tightened up her lips as she was pouring the potatoes into the baking dish.

As soon as I saw the body language of my mother I realized where I learned to tighten my lips. Not only did I see myself in her, I realized her tight lips were trying to control the outcome of her potatoes! Never had I thought about control being a factor when cooking.

In the 1970’s I received referrals from the Beck Institute at the University of Pennsylvania. While looking for new ways to help people who did not benefit from psychotherapy or CBT, I begin to actively use body language and body awareness with my new referrals. This is when I discovered the difference between control and power. Read last week’s The Vibrant Moment for the definition and difference between control and power:  Relationship Advice: Choose Power, not Control

When I taught my clients to notice their body, face, lips, feet, stomach, and what their physical form was doing at any point in time, they were much more likely to give up their denial, exaggeration, and defensive behaviors quickly without resistance. Noticing when they controlled themselves and when they did not was much more effective that trying to change their negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

This is because the tension in your body gives you the feedback that you are in control and not in your power. You can learn to feel how control feels in your body. You may or may not notice when your body is tense. Many people do not. This is the reason taking body language classes, workshops, and home study courses help you become more body conscious.

Also, use mirrors and photographs. Mirrors and photographs help you become more aware if you slow down and look. Do not throw away the photos you do not like. For example, recently a stranger was using my Nikon camera to photograph a family holiday card for me. I was directing her as she was taking the photo. At first, I did not think she was clicking all the way through because the light did not flash.

When I looked at the photos I could see she had indeed taken them correctly. I could also see how I looked when I did not think she was taking them correctly! You should see my face. Unattractive, screwed up and tense. And tight, especially my lips. Yes, of course, my lips.

So, my control showed up for me to see once again. Did my tight face help make the photos better? Did my mother’s tight lips make her potatoes taste better. Nope. Control never makes anything better.

Remembering how I looked in control sure reminds me to relax my lips more often throughout the day.

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CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

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BODY AWARENESS HOME STUDY COURSE: It is your Inner Critic who controls you and makes you anxious. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course leads you into more body awareness so you become strong enough to throw your inner critic off your chest. Then you breath and feel much more relaxed being in your power. $149.97, 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are doing and feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

Call:  215-732-6197.

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Self Confidence Tip: Choose Power and Forget Control

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Choose Power.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

When I first noticed I was nervous before a certain client arrived for our session, I became very curious as to the reason I would experience anxiety with her and not any of my other clients. My client always dressed perfectly, had lots of money, a good job, and had no problem except for losing her partner.

Exploring the reason I was nervous about meeting with this client lead to one of my first major breakthroughs as a young psychologist. I discovered the physical difference between control and power. Most people, and many psychologists, are fooled by the man or woman who exhibits a great deal of control.

In some circles, controlling your behavior is highly praised and valued in the USA and Europe. In my early psychotherapy groups, I often had to deal with some members putting the controlled person in the group up on a pedestal. As a result, they felt “inferior” to the person who was in control.

Many highly controlled people are functional in the world because they are rewarded and reinforced for being “in control.” Even current psychological treatments in 2014 focus on controlling your anger, having to be positive, and thinking your way to happiness.

However, since I was using relaxation therapy and desensitization therapy back in the late 1970’s to reduce anxiety in sexual situations as a sex therapist, I knew that control was never functional in the bedroom and in matters of the heart. Control of any sort immediately kills emotional intimacy and delicious lovemaking.

As I felt my anxiety about the client who was about to arrive in my office, I suddenly realized my client was in control. She put herself on a pedestal, she was perfect. As a result, she was unpleasant to be around. I was not looking forward to seeing her.

When I realized she was in control, I knew she was highly anxious. Knowing she was anxious make it easy to be compassion toward her so I could then help her relax her body so she could feel more comfortable being herself.

The bottom-line is, the more anxious you are, the more controlling you are. The more relaxed you are, the more powerful you are.

Reading body language is extremely helpful. A tense body is different from a relaxed body. Power and control cannot exist in your body at the same time. You are either in a state of power or control. One physical state blocks out the other.

You get to choose power or control every moment of your life.

Real power is the healthy energy that is measured by physicists as voltage. The more voltage, the more power. When you are in a state of power you radiate good energy around you and your resistance to disease is high.

Power is the vital energy that gives you vibrant moments. Notice what, when, where, and how you control yourself. Then, choose to be powerful by loving yourself as you are in the moment. Give up seeking to be in control.

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CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you the feedback about whether you are in control or power. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

If I do not answer your email, call me at 215-732-6197.

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Self Esteem Tip: Say Something Nice to Yourself

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Say kind words out loud.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

You are important and you matter.

How many times a day do you say something kind, warm, and encouraging to yourself? Most of you did not learn to say loving, positive, supportive words to yourself because your parents did not model self-loving behavior for you.

You learn how to relate to yourself based on how your parents related to themselves. Even if your parents did their best to be kind to you, you learned to relate to yourself based on the behavior they modeled for you.

My mother was kind to me. However, she yelled mean, nasty things to herself whenever she made a mistake. As a result, I learned to yell mean, nasty things to myself when I made a mistake.

What did you learn from your mother? Father? Teachers?

Unfortunately, self-judgment, self- criticism and self-rejection are universal mental health problems. However, the good news is, since self-judgment is a learned behavior, you can unlearn this unhelpful behavior.

Early in my career, I noticed that I attacked myself viciously when I make a mistake in my professional practice. If I made a mistake about the time of an appointment, I would be mean to myself for over two weeks without any reprise. It was as if I had committed the ultimate sin of all sins and could not be forgiven!

As I brought this unconscious nasty behavior up to my conscious mind, I realized how unhelpful self-judgment was to my well-being, self-confidence, and mental health. Making myself miserable and destroying my self-confidence was not what I wanted to do to myself.

So, I put into practice what I was teaching my clients. I began to be kinder, more understanding and patient with myself when I made a mistake. The ultimate truth is, when you make a mistake, is when you desperately need love not judgment!

Besides, you get much better results when you are kind to yourself than you do when you are mean to yourself. When I was kinder to myself, I was less likely to make mistakes in general because I was more relaxed and comfortable. In addition, I was more fun to be around because I was not making other people wrong and bad all the time when they made a mistake.

Unkind words projected out on others are the natural outcome of self-judgment. If you are being unkind to others or think others are being unkind to you, notice how you are relating to yourself. Your nastiness is occurring in your own head or lurking in your unconscious!

Being unkind is not the same thing as being honest and assertive. Meanness has a very different energy from assertiveness. Highly sensitive people can feel the barbs that come with nasty, attacking energy. Attacks on yourself or others are never justified–no matter what.

So, notice the words you say to yourself.

Bring up your nasty comments to your conscious mind so they do not hurt you anymore. Own your meanness and stop projecting it out on others. Taking responsibility for your thoughts is the only way you can unlearn this unkind way of relating to yourself.

Next, shift into saying kind, positive, and loving words to yourself out loud. This quickly improves your mood, day, and self-confidence. Your cells smile and your whole mind body benefits.

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HEAR KIND WORDS IN YOUR EARS: My comforting voice puts kind, loving words in your head and psyche. Use anytime you want to feel better about yourself and relax. The “Opening the Heart” audio, models for you how to be kinder and more loving toward yourself. Receive comfort and learn to be kinder toward yourself as you take an inner journey into your solar plexus and heart. 3 hours, mp3, CDs, $97.00, money-back guarantee.

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Heart Health Advice: Use Holistic Health Approach and Reduce Anxiety

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Your Whole Body.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you notice your physical heart during the day?
Do you know what an open heart chakra feels like?

The health of your heart, out of all your organs, is the one most closely related to your emotional health. Since my mother was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation in the winter I have been paying much more attention to the physical heart and how it malfunctions.

Most physicians miss the bigger picture of what is going on in your body, and therefore, with your health. When one part of your body is having trouble the holistic point of view looks at your whole body, not just the troubled spot. The holistic approach makes sure you have the opportunity to prevent disease before physical damage is done. It also gets to the source of the physical problem for a more effective whole-body treatment once the damage is done.

For example, numerous research studies reveal that people who have been diagnosed with anxiety are two to three times more likely to die from a heart attack. This is a diagnosed, labeled anxiety disorder by a psychiatrist. These statistics do not include the low-grade anxiety all of us have. Every human has some degree of always-there anxiety in their body that comes from childhood conditioning which flares up under stress.

Anxiety is one of the major factors that cause heart disease and it could be the source of arial fibrillation. Your nervous system sends signals to your heart so it beats with the proper rhythm. This occurs automatically via the automatic nervous system so you do not need to think about making your heart beat correctly.

When you are anxious your nervous system becomes very upset. As a result, this static energy, which is called anxiety, sends erratic signals to your heart, instead of harmonious signals. Your heart can become so upset it cannot pump blood fully to all the proper places. This malfunction can occur for a moment in time or become chronic.

Anxiety does not kill you directly, it does so indirectly. Another example is acid reflux, which is not serious in and of itself. However, over time acid reflux can seriously damage your heart and scar your esophagus. When you are anxious, the acid build up in your stomach pushes the acid rapidly up your tense tube. Each time the acid flies up into your mouth, it pushes against your heart. Over time, the chronic bangs to your heart can result in a heart attack.

Even though the scientific research on anxiety has been well established physicians do not pay attention to the emotional health of their patients. They do not refer you to a holistic psychologist to help you reduce your anxiety naturally. Neither do they explain to you about how one part of your body is affected by the other. They treat the heart directly with medication and surgery, ignoring the dramatic reality that is taking place in your whole mind-body.

However, you can discover what upsets you by paying attention to your body during the day. You can begin to notice how much anxiety interferes with how your heart beats and keeps you alive. Anxiety affects your whole body, not just your heart, so pay attention to your stomach, colon, and other organs.

Anxiety can be just a little nervousness or a full-blown panic attack. Anxiety can be chronic, completely paralyzing, or occasional flare-ups under stress. Anxiety is any time you are thinking, not breathing correctly and your body is tight or not in your awareness. You could be one of the lucky ones because you are aware of your anxiety. Or you could be completely unconscious of your anxiety even though the people who sit beside you see your leg jumping up and down, notice your clinched jaw, and hear your high-pitched voice.

Next week, I will address your heart health by paying attention to your heart chakra. You will learn how an open heart improves your physical, mental, and emotional health. In the meantime, become more aware of your anxiety. Notice how anxiety is different from fear so you can successfully reduce the unhealthy static energy in your nervous system.

My mother is an older woman at the end of her long life. I am very sad as I deal with her declining health. Making her comfortable, keeping her safe, and loving her are my major concerns. However, everyday, I remind her to relax, take a deep breath, and breathe fully into that “Ticker” as she calls it, so more oxygen and love can comfort her heart.

Please, relax, take a deep breath and breathe fully into your heart. Take the time to feel your heart everyday and love your ticker by reducing your anxiety.

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REDUCE ANXIETY FOR BETTER HEART HEALTH: Take the original, well-crafted “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course. Learn how anxiety is different from fear. 10 lessons guide you step by step into body awareness so you reduce the static energy in your nervous system. Learn to breathe properly, relax, and enjoy being calm. Improves physical health. 10 written lessons, 5 hours of self-help audio, including “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview” and the best selling “Opening the Heart” audio series. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

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FREE BONUS: Get guidance on how to use writing for personal growth and permission to slay your Inner Critic’s voice so you can find your own. Emily Hanlon, best-selling author of Petersburg and Dr. Jeanette enjoy each other as they teach you about writing and your Inner Critic. “De-fang Your Inner Critic to Find Your Voice” one hour, CD or mp3, cost, $29.97. http://www.drjeanette.com/emily.html

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NEED HELP WITH ANXIETY? “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview,” gives you holistic psychology information about how you learned to be anxious and how to unlearn this unhealthy nervous reaction. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

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Want Better Physical and Mental Health? Get Up and Move!

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Move.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

I leave the tissue box across the room, away from all the places to sit. My sensitive nose responses to various stimuli that others do not seem to be bothered by. Often, out of the blue, a tissue is needed due to my rapid firing nerves cells producing a sneezing attack.

So, why would I purposefully leave the tissue box across the room? Since I have to get up in order to get a tissue to blow my nose, deliberately placing them far away from me, helps me get up and move more often. It is so easy to stay at the computer writing for way too long.

Moving is essential for holistic health.

Of all the research studies on physical health and depression, the one outstanding factor that is repeatedly proven to improve physical and mental health is physical movement. Many people think of exercise when they think of physical movement. However, exercising is not always helpful.

For example, if you exercise with anxiety, you are not doing yourself any favors. Anxious exercising is the reason many people who engage in routine exercise programs do not end up with excellent holistic health. In order for your body to benefit, your exercise must be conducted in a relaxed and natural manner. Reduce your anxiety to get better results with any exercise program.

Exercise must be harmonious with your body and personality to be effective. It is the movement of your body that is important, not the exercise. How you move indicates whether you are relaxed or anxious. If you want to get the best health results, let your relaxed body lead the way with authentic movements that naturally make it stronger and healthier.

A natural event like getting up from the computer to get a needed tissue helps me move more often during my day. Think of ways you can help yourself move more often during the day. Do not make everything easy and comfortable. Get up and move. When you move, enjoy moving.

The goal is to move, while breathing and feeling your body, so you enjoy the movement. This is the physical feeling that produces more vibrant moments. Being alive in your body is a delicious feeling that is very, very healthy for you. Move.

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DEPRESSION HELP: Movement is essential in overcoming depression. Learn about the cause of your depression, which is learned helplessness. Then learn how body movements permanently eliminate depression. Order, “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free!” a one-hour self-help audio. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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“I found exactly what I needed to help my depressed client half way through ‘Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free!’” Peter Shepard, French psychologist
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Depression Help: Holistic Psychology Teaches You to Stop Depressing Energy

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Notice Your Energy Flow.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you have the energy you need to enjoy life?
Do you get excited at least once a day?
Do you suffer from depression?

I often talk about anxiety. The reason I pay more attention to anxiety than anything else is because I consider anxiety to be the source problem for mental illness, emotional distress and poor physical health.

When you are anxious you:
1.  Behave in ways that are ineffective in getting what you want.
2.  Experience emotional distress.
2.  Tighten up your physical body, which creates disease.

What About Depression?

Some of you may suffer from depression, have family members who tend to get depressed or find yourself without the energy you need to experience joy and excitement in everyday life. Thus, I thought it would be helpful to directly address depression to give you my holistic psychology point of view.

Depression can be very mild such as when you find yourself bored while living an ordinary and mundane life. Or, depression can be severe enough that you do not want to get out of bed. Traditional psychology views depression and anxiety as separate categories, each with their multiple diagnoses.

As my holistic psychology approach became more energy-based I began to define depression as when you do not move fast enough. Anxiety is when you move too fast. In contrast, the definition of good mental health is when you are moving in your authentic, natural, energy flow.

Your natural energy flow is extremely healthy for your mind and body. When you let your energy flow naturally, you have those vibrant moments I love to share with you. When you move too fast or too slow you block the wonderful, exciting moments of being fully alive in your body and in space.

Depressing your joy, excitement, and exuberance is a form of depression. You may not look as depressed as the person who receives the label depression but you are not fully allowing your energy to flow into joy, excitement, and exuberance.

After years of not being happy with my degree of success helping depressed clients, I added body and energy awareness to my approach. With this new way of teaching clients how to give up depression, one of my severely depressed clients gradually, step by step, stopped depressing her energy.

We were both thrilled. She was having fun, getting into clowning, starting to set up a new private practice, and enjoying sex with her husband. She was no longer depressed. Her real self came out and she was enjoying life.

We both thought depression was no longer a concern. A few weeks before opening her new office, she suddenly slipped back into depression. From one week to the next, she moved out of being alive in her body to being numb and depressed again. I could not understand how she, out of the blue, slipped back to her depressed symptoms and seemed paralyzed once more.

When I discovered she was scared to open her new practice I had the clue I needed. She felt out on a limb. Everything seemed like too much to handle. She was not sure she was adequate to the task so she was suddenly overcome with high anxiety. This is when she immediately slipped back into depression.

Eureka! A light bulb went off in my head. She felt safe when she depressed her energy. She felt afraid when she let her energy flow because she had new challenges, new adventures, and new opportunities where she could mess up. As a result high anxiety hit her in the face.

I had not prepared her enough so that she was able to handle the new level of stress she was facing. Therefore, she used her old coping skill of depressing her energy flow. Anytime, you do not have the proper coping skills you use what you used as a child to cope with life.

This is when I discovered that depression is an avoidance response. People flip-flop back and forth between anxiety and depression because they do not know what else to do. Bi-polar, which used to be manic-depressive disorder, is a common diagnosis psychologists give to people.

With depression and anxiety you are in a catch 22 until you learn how to deal with anxiety effectively. Therefore, the answer to depression and bipolar is to learn how to handle anxiety effectively so that your anxious energy is not bigger than you. You must know how to be effective in new situations and to be self-confident.

With this new way of looking at depression and anxiety I taught my client better coping skills. She learned to be relaxed in more situations and be much more assertive. Then she did not feel overwhelmed with her new adventures. She was able to give up her depression permanently when she knew how to handle her new stress without getting so anxious she could not be effective.

Learn the coping skills you need to feel safe letting your natural energy flow take you into new adventures. The exciting moments of being alive are well worth the investment in yourself.

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BE MORE EFFECTIVE: Assertiveness Training is the most effective way to become more effective! “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” is a 46-page manual, PLUS six lessons, over eight hours of audio instruction and coaching, $149.97, guaranteed.

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“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive rather than being assertive. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.” — Kevin from the UK

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LEARN TO COPE WITH STRESS: Take the original, well-crafted “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course. Leads you step by step into body awareness and relaxation. Learn how to tame your inner critics, breathe, feel your emotions, and have more fun. Improves self-confidence. 10 written lessons, 5 hours of self-help audio, money back guarantee, $149.97.

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DEPRESSION HELP: Learn more about depression, how you learned to depress your energy and solutions to being depressed. Listen to the seminar on “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free.” One-hour audio, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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Self Esteem Tip: Self Confidence is Based on Reality, Not What You Think!

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get Honest Feedback
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do you see yourself realistically?

Last night I was pondering one of my teachers’ writings, teachings, and behaviors. I love him and that is the reason I choose him to be my teacher. I resonate with him. This means my vibration is similar to his vibration.

However, he made a comment in his book about how warm and fuzzy he was. Since I have spent time with him in person I was surprised to hear him say he was warm and fuzzy. I did not find him to be huggable. I checked with a friend who attended his workshop and she did not find him to be warm and fuzzy either.

We all have blind spots and these blind spots can appear to be ridiculous to others. So, I wondered about myself. How realistically do I see myself? I think I am warm and fuzzy, am I? Given the number of people who say I give good hugs and ask for more, huggable has a high probability of being correct for me.

To be huggable all the time would not be authentic. When under stress we respond to the stressful stimuli with either anxiety or solutions. So, give yourself and others room to be the full range of human at all times.

Nevertheless, I am intrigued about what others see in me that I do not see. I still thank my post-doc supervisor, Joseph Wolfe, M.D. who asked me, in his charming South African accent, “And exactly what was the reason you said that to your male client at that point in the interview, Dr. Keller?” I was stunted, I had no clinical or scientific reason.

I was Dr. Doris Jeanette Keller at the time and Dr. Wolpe’s comments sent me into a deep depression, feeling criticized, attacked, and inadequate. Thankfully, I looked underneath my defensive reaction to discover I was criticizing myself for being a terrible therapist. Joe’s honest feedback helped me become more realistic about myself as a beginning therapist. He was after all, teaching me how to be a better therapist.

Then there was the bass jazz player who sent me crying all the way home through Rittenhouse Square one cold, late night in Philadelphia. His simple words, “You have a chip on your shoulder,” wounded me to the core and helped eliminate another blind spot.

You cannot be self-confident if you are unrealistic about yourself. If you do not stand on solid ground, you are insecure, weak, and scared. A self-confident person knows her strengths and weaknesses. Self-confident people have no reason to defend against the truth.

My teacher’s blind spot has inspired me to make a conscious effort to see more of my blind spots this week. How about joining me in my personal growth adventure? Use feedback, energy flow, and behavior to help you become more realistic.

Self-confidence Building Tips:
1.    Notice the non-verbal feedback you get from others
2.    Listen to verbal feedback and notice your reaction
3.    Do not assume someone is criticizing you
4.    Look at yourself in mirrors and in glass panes
5.    Be self-accepting when you see tension
6.    Be self-accepting when you notice judgments

What I am suggesting you do requires moving pass the first major turning point in personal growth. Some fall back at this point and do not move forward. They do not want to see themselves realistically.

Here is a secret power tool to help you be successful making the cut. I call this the First Trick in Transformation: Do not judge that which you find. You will enjoy the process of discovering new blind spots if you do not make yourself wrong or bad about the truths you discover.

Instead, relax, let go,  and trust the process of transformation to take you to a new level of self-confidence.

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LEARN MORE ABOUT TRANSFORMATION:  Study the emotional health audio, Opening the Heart, on a daily basis. Includes information about the First Trick in Transformation and helps you stay with yourself though the different stages of personal growth. Delivered in a lullaby sounding voice that is comforting to the heart, body, and soul. 3 hours of self-help audio, $97.00, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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Order before Saturday, May 32 and receive the written transcript worth $19.97 for free.

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USE BODY LANGUAGE FEEDBACK: Your body cannot lie and it reveals the truth about you. Become more aware of your body language. Use body feedback to be realistic so your self-esteem improves. Study “Hear Your Body Talking.” One-hour audio, $29.97, guaranteed.

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Heart Health: Heal Your Heart From Broken Heart Syndrome

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Your Heart.

Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.html

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Are you afraid of losing a loved one?

For the second time in my life I was in a full-blown panic. I knew my 85-year-old mother’s heart was out of rhythm and planed to visit her in two weeks when her treatments were scheduled.  However, her physician just informed her, based on her stress test, that she had had a heart attack sometime within the last seven years that she did not know she had experienced. Due to the heart attack, he wanted to move up the procedures he hoped would correct her heart problem. He was afraid.

Over my 36 years of being in clinical practice, I have noticed the pattern that women and men often experience anxiety and panic attacks after one or both of their parents die. What is this panic and anxiety that gets triggered? I learn a great deal about human nature by observing myself as well as others.

The first time I experienced panic was when I thought my lover was going to leave me. Panic and anxiety are not the same thing as fear. Panic overwhelms you and consumes you. Its energy is sudden, intense and you are at its mercy unless you have the tools to transform its overwhelming energy into real fears, real problems, and real solutions.

What about you?

When you lose a deep, strong emotional connection with another human being or animal what happens inside of you? You may have experienced a high pitched anxiety and denied it. Or, you may have acknowledged that you were in a panic. In either case, it will help you now, if you become more aware of your real fear and irrational anxiety. Then you will handle your inevitable losses without being blind-sided by denial.

In addition, if you have ever experienced an emotional pain or loss that you have not healed, your heart is weak because it is still broken. The Broken Heart Syndrome, also called, stress cardiomyopathy, is real and scientifically established. For more information visit the American Heart Association.

Unfortunately, modern medicine can only correct Broken Heart Syndrome by repairing the physical damage after it has occurred. This means it is your job to heal your physical heart from past and current emotional pain. The only way to mend your heartache is to become emotionally healthy and strong. Healing your heart is an emotionally expressive and energetic process that occurs over time, resulting in a stronger physical heart.

I was the child that loved to go away from mother and explore the world. I did not get easily scared and run back to her for security. Nevertheless, my panic was strong, real, and humbling.  As soon as I was able to rearrange everything so I could go to her side, my panic receded. I was no longer helpless. Real fears, real problems, and real solutions returned.

All three of mother’s children were by her side as she successfully moved through her medical procedures. She saw our smiling faces before and after her surgeries. She was bathed in the love she gave us. Her heart is back in tune and all is well.

However, her death is inevitable as is mine. I am moving forward in being present with myself as her death process unfolds. You too, can prepare for inevitable emotional losses by becoming emotionally stronger and more secure.

The human heart is weak when emotions are blocked, denied, or exaggerated. However, your heart is amazingly resilient when love is the energy that radiates outward. Love is the strongest energy on this blue planet. Make sure your heart is full of love!

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BREAK UP OR DIVORCE PAIN? Whether your emotional loss was in the past or recent, make sure you completely recover and heal your heart. In this special report, “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up,” learn the essential steps that heal your broken heart and mend your heartache. Taking these steps make sure you become emotionally stronger. “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up,” 13 pages, PDF, $9.97, money back guarantee.

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HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART: The Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” leads you through the journey of healing your heart. Learn about the difference between healthy and unhealthy energies, understand the reason you need to heal your emotional self, explore your blocks to healing, learn the difference between fear and anxiety and much more. Buy at Amazon for $3.99 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
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NEED HELP REDUCING ANXIETY? Take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. It gives you the tools you need to leave panic and anxiety behind you. Learn to pay attention to success instead of failure, live with real fears instead of irrational thoughts, and get real solutions instead of staying stuck in never-ending problems.

Read more and order:
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