Self-confidence and Self-esteem Tip: Stop Negative Self-Judgments!

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Effective.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach


I am constantly exploring the factors that lead to solid self-confidence and better self-esteem. One of the major ways I learn new information is to observe myself. Recently, I noticed I was being very judgmental of myself because I was not being effective in accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish.

I felt helpless in some situations and in other situations the actions I had taken were not bearing fruit. My constant nasty judgments toward myself about not being effective in several endeavors made me feel really bad all over. This is when I relearned the fact that self-confidence is not that complicated or confusing.

The bottom-line that determines if you feel good about yourself depends on how you judge yourself. If you are judgmental of yourself, you feel bad. If you are self-accepting, you feel good. If you are so-so, then you feel so-so! Since, I have never been one to accept mundane and ordinary, feeling good all over is where I wanted to return.

The psychological truth is my own harsh mental judgments toward myself are all that matter. It does not matter what you think or someone else thinks. It is what I think about my ineffectiveness that destroys my good feelings, self-confidence, and keeps vibrant moments far, far away.

Since this is a psychological law, the solution is clear. I must stop being so judgmental toward myself for not being effective. The sooner I shift out of self-judgment, the sooner I return to feeling good and enjoying vibrant moments.

Do you judge yourself:
When you do not take action on something?
When you are not effective in the actions you take?

Obviously, judging yourself does not make you more effective either, no matter what you think. Your mental judgments make you feel bad so you get depressed and feel anxious. So, what can you do to be more effective and get better results?

I shifted into more effective problem solving. I resolved to get the help I needed instead of staying stuck in helplessness and self-judgment. I begin to share my sunscreen-spray-in the lungs-when-I-swim problem with many more people who could support me and help me at my swim club. I turned to experts, family members, and friends for advice and referrals for handymen.

Suddenly, the momentum of my ineffectiveness shifted into huge successes. The sunscreen spay was being limited by the manager quickly when other pool members had told me it would never be banned. Three handymen returned my call AND two showed up in one day!

Wow, results were easy and effective with a shift in my energy.

Tis true. You affect matter, other people and what is happening to you whether you are conscious of this physical fact or not. Even though it often seems like you are doing all that you can do to be effective, you are not. You are stuck in the negative energy that keeps you ineffective.

Shift out of negative, downward, self-judgmental energy into more self-accepting, effective problem solving if you want to be effective. In reality, effective help is all around you, all the time. Thank goodness for reality, once again!


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