Relationship Advice: Delete Guilt to Enjoy Guilt-Free Holidays



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The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Enjoy Guilt-Free Holidays.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Live at the Edge:


Do you notice when you feel guilt?
Do you know how to stop feeling guilty?

Feeling guilty is a common human experience that destroys healthy loving relationships and is often misunderstood. Guilt is a major relationship problem around the holidays because every culture and most families use guilt to try to get what they think they want and need.

Guilt is the reason holidays often result in family conflicts and relationship problems. Some family members even stop talking to each other for years! Guilt tripping is often the reason. Guilt makes you feel miserable and unworthy.

So what is guilt?

You learned to feel guilt from your parents. You learned guilty behavior simply by observing your parents feeling guilty and making decisions based on guilt. Your parents also modeled their use of guilt to manipulate and control you as well as others.

These unhealthy guilt ridden family dynamics have been going on for centuries. And the way things look, guilt is going to continue for a few more centuries unless you do something to stop its control over you. Guilt is one of the first negative energies I teach people how to get rid of because it is so sticky and wasteful.

Many people incorrectly think that guilt is an appropriate emotion which gets people to own up to or rectify something bad that they did. This is a false belief. There is a huge difference between guilt and genuine caring.

Just look at the results. Guilt produces resentment, bitterness and unloving behaviors toward family members. It makes for a lose-lose so that parent nor child gets what he or she really needs or wants.

On the other hand, genuine caring produces more loving behaviors toward family members. You want to visit when you do visit. You love your family and they love you. As a result, parent and child feel loved and cared for no matter what either does for the holidays.

Guilt is a conditioned response, not an authentic emotion. This means guilt is learned behavior and you can unlearn it. So, quickly move away from guilt and never make any life decision based on guilt.

Enjoy guilt-free holidays.


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