Relationship Advice: Feel Equal, Relate Equally to All, Be Assertive


The Vibrant Moment – Holistic Health Tip: Feel equal.
From the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Live at the Edge:

How many people do you feel equal to?

Be honest with yourself. Do you really in your heart feel equal to most people?  Probably not.  Most people feel superior or inferior to others. Very few feel equal.

You have to feel equal before you can relate equally.  Your inability to relate equally to others could be the source of many of your relationship problems.

The New Psychology is based on equal relationships. This is one of the major ways the new, holistic psychology is different from the old, traditional psychotherapy.

In a traditional psychological relationship, the therapist is the authority. The therapist supposedly knows what is best for you, the client. The therapist leads the way. The therapist knows the answers. They feel superior to you. As a result, they relate unequally to you.

It is even believed by traditional therapists that they must keep a safe emotional distance from their client.  Could this be a way for a therapist to stay in control? Yes, it could. Could this superior position be a great place to hide for a therapist who is uncomfortable being intimate? Yes, it could.

The holistic psychologist who practices the New Psychology relates equally to clients. She knows that she is modeling appropriate, healthy relationship skills to her client at all times.  She knows that how she relates to her client is how the client is learning to relate to others.

This means the new, holistic psychologist is comfortable not being in control. She is comfortable being emotionally intimate.

Get to know yourself and how you feel toward others. Write these words down on a piece of paper.

1. My partner
2. My boss
3. My employee
4. A woman dressed in a fur coat
5. A man living on the street
6.  A university professor
7.  A disabled person
8.  A janitor
9.  A farmer
10.  Plants
11. Animals
12. Trees
13. God
14. Books
15. A rock

Feel each one and honestly note how you feel toward them. Put equal, inferior or superior beside each numbered category.  Take a good, long look at how you relate to your world.

If you want to be more powerful and successful, create equal relations with all.  Relating equally allows a healthy flow of energy to move back and forth between you. This healthy flow of energy is called intimacy.


LEARN TO RELATE EQUALLY: Only assertive people relate equally to others. When you are passive, you feel inferior. when you are aggressive, you feel superior. Learn to relate equally to others. Take the online course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”  Guaranteed, 47 page manual, six hours of audio, $149.97.

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