How to Adjust During Major Life Changes by Letting Go

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Adjust and Rearrange.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach

How do you handle change?

Regular readers of The Vibrant Moment know my mother’s health was failing last year and she passed away January 25, 2015. Suddenly, everything was harder and nothing was the same. A few weeks ago I began to notice joy was bubbling up inside of me for the first time since her passing.

I knew immediately because I spontaneously started to dance when I heard some groovy music while hanging out with some friends in an outside bar on a beautiful day. This is one of the advantages of being in Center City, Philadelphia — there are plenty of interesting playmates, events, and venues.

While I enjoyed the moments of joy when they were happening, the next night I fell back into deep sorrow. Major changes in life, such as having a new baby, losing a job, parent, or partner, create major shifts in your energy and emotions. These external stress factors need to be properly acknowledged so you give yourself more room to be and more time to learn how to handle the new ways you must learn to live your life.

Change is inevitable. We cannot stop the stock market from crashing or the loss of loved ones. Neither can you stop the way change makes you feel. You feel vulnerable, scared, and sad. However, there is an amazing advantage you possess if you go with your own unique energy flow instead of pushing or pulling against the reality of your life.

If you go with your natural energy flow, instead of against it, your boat ride is smoother through all stressful life events. Honoring your natural process also ensures that you have the energy needed to handle the realities of your new life. Grief and change require a lot of energy.

For example, if you try to push your river, instead of going with your flow, you get anxious and use up your energy quickly. You burn out. If you hold back and try to stop the river, you become depressed. Depression is inert energy at its best. You get stuck and go nowhere!

So, how do you go with your flow? To go with your unique energy flow you have to know what your energy is doing and not doing in the moment. Are you moving too fast or too slow? Can you tell when you are moving in the flow of the river of your life and all is as it was meant to be? This you need to sense and feel.

Sometimes your river is slow and hardly moves. Sometimes your life rushes through sharp rocks and falls over a cliff. This means you must pay attention to your energy and then make adjustments. Yes, you must change so you do not fall out of the boat! You have to be flexible and rearrange yourself along the way.

You must change by letting go of control and flowing. It is up to you to consciously steer your boat through your life. You are master of the river if you take care of yourself everyday as you move through your external rapids and pay attention to your internal needs and stormy emotions.

The day after my deep sorrow, I was swimming in my beautiful blue pool with the glee of a four year old and the pleasure of an older woman enjoying another vibrant moment.


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