The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Relax into Fears.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Thank you to a current client for the feedback about last week’s newsletter: “Just wanted to say I really enjoyed this one. Very informative.”
And for the question about real fears:
“I was wondering if you would consider doing a newsletter on real fears. I am often aware of real fears that pop up now that I have taken your anxiety course. I still don’t always know how to handle them, feel safe, or know how to proceed.”
When I was a little girl, living on a rural farm in North Carolina I had nightmares about big monster snakes chasing me. In reality, I lived with snakes all around me. Some were good snakes my father never killed because they ate the rodents. Some were bad snakes my father always killed because they could kill us.
My real fear was of putting my hand into the tomato patch to pick a delicious tomato where a copperhead snake might be taking a nap, this happened to my mother, or of stepping on a huge snake that was much longer than me in the grass as I ran to my favorite maple tree to play. This almost happened, but I stopped short of stepping on the snake because I saw a bit of black move in the deep grass just in time!
Real fears are everywhere and they never go away. As humans, we have to learn a great deal of essential information in order to survive. This means you must learn how to take care of yourself in relationship to many real dangers. If you want to be free and happy, learning how to stay safe needs to be your primary goal.
As a child, I did not know the difference between a bad and good snake even though my father was teaching me. When a snake was sighted, my father used a hoe to put it into a large plastic bucket with a lid. Containment kept the snake from hurting anyone. Then, he got the encyclopedia to identify the snake for himself and educate me. After he was sure it was a good snake, he let it go. If it was a bad snake he killed it.
My nightmares continued because the small picture in the book did not look anything like the real snake in the bucket. Besides, those little details on the head of the snake could only be seen when you were so close to the snake it could bite you. Ye gads!
When I was in the third grade, I checked a large, picture book out of the library about snakes. Somehow, I knew I needed to get closer to snakes. If I wanted to relax and feel safe, I had to stop being terrified of the cottonmouths that lived around the pond. It was clear they were not going to move out of the neighborhood!
So, slowly, a little bit at a time, I opened my library book and closed it. I looked at the different snakes over and over again until I could see them and not be terrified. I also read about snakes and studied their habits. Honestly, to this day, I still have trouble telling the difference between a good and bad snake on my adventures into nature.
Nevertheless, I learned enough about snakes to protect myself no matter where I find them. I trust myself to be wise and respectful to all creatures as I enjoy myself in nature. This same step-by-step desensitization process is what you must do until you relax into your fears.
Also, make sure you have the necessary education about the facts, habits, and realities of your real fear. Next, develop the abilities and self-confidence you need to take care of yourself in relationship to your fears.
When your out-of-control nightmares stop, you are no longer afraid.
DESENSITIZATION: Desensitization is a step-by-step process of unlearning your anxiety and fear. The “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home-study course gives you the tools you need to desensitize yourself to many of your real fears. Learn the body tools you need to be successful in a systematic step-by-step program. The three-hour emotional health audio “Opening the Heart,” $97.00, is included in the “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home-study course PLUS two more hours of audio and ten written lessons for $149.97, money-back guarantee.
Order “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” to relax into your fears.
ALREADY TAKEN THE ANXIETY COURSE? Get what you want in life. Many real fears exist in human relationships. Learning how to be assertive gives you the skills you need to desensitize your fears quickly. Learn what assertive behavior is and how to use your skills in real-life situations. 46 pages, six hours of audio, $149.97, money-back guarantee.
Read more and order:
WINTER BLUES SPECIAL: Order the Assertiveness Training course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” before, Sunday, Feb 8 and get the one-hour audio, “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free,” for FREE. Sells for $29.97. You must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get your free audio.
If you already own “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free,” pick another one from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html