The Vibrant Moment – Self Esteem Tip: Let him be defensive.
From the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
We are taking a holistic psychology look at defensive
behavior and defensive energy. Read the past two issues of
“The Vibrant Moment” to see what we have discussed so far:
Many readers of The Vibrant Moment want to know how to handle
girlfriends, boyfriends, bosses, mothers, sisters and brothers
when they are defensive.
The best way to handle defensive people is to be patient and
tolerant with them. The most assertive, powerful way for you
to handle defensive people is to allow them to be defensive
without judging them and making them wrong.
Your job as a psychologist or partner is to avoid joining
others in their conflict. You do not want to resonate with
their defensive energy, you want to maintain your own solid
It is possible to stay out of anyone else’s conflict if you
do not react with defensive energy of your own. You can stay
emotionally secure, physically grounded and absolutely clear
in the presence of defensive energy.
When people are defensive, they are insecure and frightened.
They feel criticized, threatened, blamed and bad about
themselves. Therefore, if you are emotionally secure it is
possible to let others be insecure.
You can give them the room to be defensive without reacting.
You can be patient and compassionate while holding your ground,
protecting yourself and asserting yourself.
To reach this position you must remove your defensive
reactions and responses. Then you will breath, relax and let
others experience their defensiveness without reacting.
If you do not resonate with your defensive client or partner,
if it possible that he could become aware of his defensiveness
and do some personal growth. Or perhaps he will not notice
the way he is behaving and he will continue to have low
In either case, you are emotionally secure. You have not
entered his defensive energy and low self-esteem world, you
have stayed in your solid self confident energy and your
solid self-esteem world.
Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Please share them with me
via email or post them on the blog at
ASSERT YOURSELF: If you have already taken an
Assertiveness Training course, you may need a refresher.
If you have never taken an Assertiveness Training course,
you need to learn to hold your ground. Take the home study
course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks
to Solid Self-Confidence,” delivered online to your computer.
47 page manual with six lessons and over six hours of audio.
Read more and order:
Order before Monday, Oct.15 and get a free personal growth
audio called, “Hear Your Body Talking” worth $29.97.
Read and order “Hear Your Body Talking”:
GET GROUNDED: Come to the forest near NYC and Philadelphia
and learn how to ground your human energy in your physical
body for solid self esteem. Limited to 12 people so you get
special personal growth attention underneath the colorful
fall trees. Transformational work, not psychotherapy.
Saturday, Oct 20, 2012. All day, $200.00.
Read more and sign up at:
If you have any questions or concerns call 215-732-6197
or shoot me an email.
INTERESTED IN BODY LANGUAGE? Email me if you are interested
in joining a four-week tele-class in body language in
November. Cost will be $197.00, Tell me what times you have
Follow me on twitter for daily inspiration: