The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Stop Reacting.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
A neuroscientist at the UC Irvine School of Medicine, Dr. James Fallon is an expert on the minds of psychopaths. His research on the brains of psychopaths resulted in his own brain being analyzed without his knowledge. When he found out his brain looks just like the brain of psychopaths, he did not freak out and refuse to accept the data.
Instead, he started to ask his family and friends about his personality and behavior. Psychopaths have an antisocial personality and they do not empathize with others. When he asked his wife and children, they surprised him. His wife said, “You are lacking in empathy.” His children told him, “You are not there emotionally.”
Checking out the feedback you receive is how you need to respond when you get outside data. Do not discount the data, take it to heart and see what is true and what is not true. Listen to what others say and receive it. The moment you get outside data is the moment you can make huge changes for the better. This is one reason a good psychologist or mentor is worth every penny.
While Dr. Fallon is acting kinder, he still reports that he does not feel kind. For success, he needs to feel kind and not just act kind, but at least he is making the attempt to become more loving. Being open to the truth about himself is the first step toward creating better relationships.
If you want better relationships you must also stop reacting defensively when you get feedback from others. Listening to others is one of the major ways you can successfully create healthy, loving relationships. Giving up your defensive reactions is the best way to prevent divorce and break-ups.
Acting kinder toward others is not the way to be successful in becoming more empathic and loving. What you must do is unlearn self-rejection and learn how to feel kinder toward yourself.
When you feel kind toward yourself, you will not have any trouble feeling kinder toward others. Others feel you and respond to you in kind.
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BE KINER TOWARD YOURSELF: To access your kindness, read the shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of feeling your way through life.
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