How to Improve Your Self Esteem and Self Confidence

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Self-Confidence is Sincere
Tools from the Center for New Psychology, drjeanette.com
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Transformational Coach, Mentor

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We are continuing our search for genuine self-confidence. If you did not read last month’s article on self-esteem here it is: http://thevibrantmoment.com/2019/10/23/how-to-improve-your-self-confidence-and-self-esteem/

The Self-Esteem Enhancer Exercise I gave you last month was to help you become more realistic about yourself. Being realistic automatically helps you feel more self-confident. This is because being realistic is the opposite of being defensive.

When you are defensive, you are insecure and weak. You are not accepting some truth about yourself! Therefore, being defensive is a waste of energy. Defensive energy reveals your low self-esteem and does not improve it. It is much wiser to accept your unpleasant qualities and improve them, than it is to defend against them. Or deny them. Or make excuses!

The Self-Esteem Enhancer Exercise:
Being honest, name three positive qualities you possess. Write them down.
Being honest, name three unpleasant qualities about yourself. Write them down.

The facts that you write down will help you achieve genuine self-confidence. Take a look at how comfortable you are with your strengths. They may be as hard, if not harder, to own than your weaknesses. Imagine how good it would feel to accept your True Self with compassion and understanding.

Take a good honest look at what you think of yourself. The qualities you like about yourself could be ego or True Self qualities. For example, you could think highly of yourself about an ego quality that you are always nice to people. On the other hand, you could think you are a bad person because you are assertive with people telling them the truth, which is a True Self quality.

How you think about yourself is based on mental judgments you learned from others. Judgments can be good or bad, or right or wrong. Being “good” is just as unhealthy as being “bad.” Being a “good girl” was the way I tried to achieve self-confidence for the first thirty years of my life. It was quite a wake up to realize my self-confidence was so low because it was based on a “good girl” image and not reality.

To improve your self-confidence, the first thing you need to do is stop being judgmental of yourself. It does not matter whether your qualities are ego or authentic, you need to stop hurting yourself. Remind yourself that you are human and have faults. Of course, you are not always true to yourself. Of course, it takes time to discover and unlearn all the unhealthy stuff you learned from others.

Put your energy into reducing mental judgments against yourself or anyone else.

Notice how often you think you are right or wrong, or good or bad. See if you can stop judging yourself. If not, get help from the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course, which teaches you how to shift out of self-judgments into self-acceptance in a realistic step-by-step fashion.

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MANIFEST SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your mental judgments made you anxious so it feels wonderful to reduce them so you relax and have more fun. Ten written lessons show you how to shift out of self-judgment into self-acceptance. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course also includes the three-hour audio series, Opening the Heart, worth $97.00, which helps you love yourself and your emotions. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

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FIND YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your body is the home of your self-confidence, inner strengths and truths. Get to know your body and enjoy the benefits of freedom and joy. Order “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” a one-hour tele-seminar on body health and body awareness. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: Hear Your Body Talking:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com.

How to Improve Your Self Confidence and Self Esteem

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Self-Confidence is Sincere
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Transformational Coach, Mentor

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I was discussing with some of my family members recently what self-confidence is and how to get more of it. So I thought I would put into writing what I have learned about self-esteem.

Self-confidence is based in reality. This means you cannot fake it. You can try to fake it, but those in the know are not fooled for long. The reason you cannot fake self-confidence is because your body simply does not have the ability to lie. So, no matter what you do to hide the truth, your physical form reveals the truth about how you feel about yourself.

Sure, you can puff out your chest and act self-confident. However, anyone who reads body language and feels energy knows you are acting superior. Also, if you have studied psychology, you know that arrogant behavior is due to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is the reason people act arrogant and helpless. “Act” is the key word here.

In the physical world outside of you, you are not better or worse than another. Your ego tries to convince you that you are special or worthless. This is inaccurate. To be special or worthless you have to be separate from reality. Your true self is not a separate identity hanging out in space, disconnected from Mother Earth, your body and the cosmos. To be separate is to be crazy.

If you believe the mental delusions that you are special or worthless, you create mental diseases. Mental diseases are delusions about the true self. Neither superior or inferior ego states are authentic aspects of your true self. Self-confidence cannot be achieved by being inauthentic.

Self-confidence is based on real facts and solid matter. Your feet must be standing on solid ground with gravity pulling down on your physical form to anchor you into the earth. You must be sincere and honest about who you really are. You are born with plenty of self-confidence but the adults in your world quickly conditioned your good feelings about yourself into bad feelings about yourself.

Therefore, all of us have to unlearn the negative things we learned about ourselves from outside sources. Then we have to relearn the truth about ourselves. We do this by feeling and trusting that which is real. To help you get more in touch with reality, name three positive qualities that you possess. Then name three unpleasant qualities about yourself.

Being honest with both answers helps you become less defensive and more realistic. This is the beginning of genuine self-confidence. Next, you need to become less judgmental of the real you. So take note of any snide remarks against yourself what come to your conscious mind.

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FIND YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your body is the home of your self-confidence, inner strengths and truths. Get to know your body and enjoy the benefits of freedom and joy. Order “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” a one-hour tele-seminar on body health and body awareness. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: Hear Your Body Talking: http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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LOVE YOUR TRUE SELF: Learn to feel the energy of your real self in the first thirty minutes of the Opening the Heart audio, which is included in the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally. In addition ten written lessons show you how to stop your brain from overriding your body by teaching you how to return to your physical sensations. When you touch your body you stop your obsessive, crazy thoughts from driving you crazy! $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally: http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

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If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com.

How to Keep and Increase Your Self-Esteem Around Your Family

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Take care of yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Energy Coach, Mentor
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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During the holidays we often interact with family members who trigger
our old, learned reactions of blame, quilt, shame and helplessness.
Tis the season to separate even more from your family members so
you feel your authentic self and inner strengths when you are with
them.

One of the major unhealthy ways you learned to relate to your family
was via care taking. Most parents do not model for you how to take
care of yourself. Instead, they model for you how to take care of
others. As a result, you do not know how to take care of yourself
unless you make a conscious effort to learn how to pay attention to
your needs and desires and then follow through with actions that
satisfy and fulfill your needs and desires.

If you have never thought about the damage care taking does to the
quality of your relationships, now is a good time to learn more about
the consequences of taking care of others instead of yourself. You
probably have noticed that your care taking relationships are not
reciprocal, satisfying and enjoyable. However, you may not have
noticed that care taking also takes its toll on your physical,
emotional and mental health.

The consequences of care taking others are:
Anxiety
Resentment
Depression
Dependency
Unhappiness
Misery
Isolation
Loneliness
Suicide
Disease

Examine your relationships and be honest about how you relate to your
body, your emotional self and others. With increased awareness of how
you care take others, begin to move into more equal, assertive and
honest communications with people.

When you are with others learn how to:
Relax
Breathe
Feel your body
Stay grounded
Feel your emotions
Know what you want, not what they want
Know what you need, not what they need
Be assertive
Relate equally
Be sincere
Be kind

When you put into practice the above relationship skills, you have
more satisfying relationships. Your holistic health improves and you
have lots more fun.

To help you find out how healthy your relationships are visit:
http://www.drjeanette.com/definitionofhealthyrelationship.html

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LEARN TO BE ASSERTIVE: Take your first Assertiveness Training course
or sign up for a refresher at your local community college. If you
cannot find one, order the home study course I created from my
forty-two years of teaching assertiveness skills to my clients and
students. Just reading the manual helps you get started. When you put
into practice what you learn you feel better immediately about
yourself. Improve your self-esteem and holistic health by learning
how to say no.

Order the home study course Stop the World From Pushing You Around:
Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence. Forty-seven-page manual with six
weeks of lessons PLUS more than six hours of real-life audio
coaching. $149.97. Guaranteed or your money back.
Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six
Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Follow me on twitter for fun and inspiration:
http://twitter.com/DorisJeanette

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If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with friends and
colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over forty
years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to
unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:
http://www.drjeanette.com.