The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Relax and Feel Good.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
A reader asks, “What is Sexual Health and how can I improve it?”
In the early 1980’s, a client came into my office and complained, “Why didn’t you tell me I was going to feel more sexual? I did not know this was going to happen and you never mentioned it.” She frowned at me. She was not happy she felt so “turned on” as a result of our work together.
Honestly, I never even thought about her sexual health improving as a result of teaching her to relax and feel her emotions. She had a husband, they had sex, no known sexual problem. Yet, as her anxiety level dropped more and more, her sexual energy automatically and naturally increased! To me, this was good news. To her, she was scared of her increased sexual desire.
I mention this client to help you appreciate the power and potency of your sexual energy. If you do not already have good sexual health, there is a high probability you are afraid of letting your sexuality flow freely. Therefore, when you begin to improve your sexual health, make sure you keep tabs on your anxiety all along the way if you want to be successful in unlearning your sexual inhibitions.
Let me remind you that the better your sexual health, the better your mental and physical health. This week, I will give you a definition of sexual health. Next week I will talk about ways to improve it. Sex technically refers only to intercourse, which is a biological function for reproduction. However, people today, and according to the World Health Organization, sexual health is:
“a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors.” (WHO, 2006a)
As you can see, your sexual health is involved not only with your innate physical responses but interacts with all the existing factors in your outside world. As a holistic psychologist and sex therapist I base your sexual health on your ability to love yourself and others. This means you need to love your body, sexual response, emotional expression, and spiritual energy.
First, you need to know that your sexual health does not depend on having sex with someone else. Absolutely, not! You can also have pleasurable physical organisms without being touched by another person. You can have an amazing spiritual kundalini experience without being touched by another person.
Your sexual health has to do with how you relate to your sexuality, not how someone else relates to your sexuality. For good sexual health you must know, accept, and love your own unique blend of sexual needs, desires, and responsiveness.
If you are sexually healthy you will be:
Able to let go of control and feel your body feelings
Aware of your body and how it feels when you move
Able to relax into your body as needed
Comfortable with your natural body orders
At ease touching your body for comfort and pleasure
Able to let loving people touch your body
Receptive, allowing energy into your body
Expressive, giving energy outward to others
Spontaneous and free of inhibitions
Able to love and be loved
Able to give and receive physical pleasure
Comfortable having orgasms alone and with others
Self-confident with or without a sexual partner
Write down which of these abilities you are already good at and which you need to work on. Your degree of sexual health depends on how many, how much, and how often, you enjoy these qualities and experiences. The more, the better your sexual health.
This week pay attention to how you relate to your sexual self. Is she or he “in the closet, hiding from you?” Or are you in love with your sexual self, protecting this part of you from inner or external judgments? Just notice, do not make yourself wrong about what you notice.
GET TURNED ON: If you are stuck in your head thinking most of the time, Order “Hear Your Body Talking” and really listen with your whole body so you begin to honor your body wisdom and begin to love and take better care of your physical home. One-hour personal growth love your body audio, $29.97.
Read and order: Hear Your Body Talking: http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html
SUMMER BONUS: Order before Sunday, June 28 and get another personal growth audio of your choice worth $29.97 from this list. http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get free personal growth audio.
WANT TO RELAX AND FEEL GOOD? Learn to relax and feel your emotions so you get more turned on to life. Take the home study course, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” five hours of emotional health audio and ten written lessons, $199.97. Money-back guarantee.
SUMMER BONUS: Order before Sunday, June 28 and get fifteen minutes of free email sessions to help you stay on course and be successful, worth $50.00.
Read more and order “Overcome Anxiety Naturally.”
FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS: The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing sexual energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.
Order “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” for $3.99 from Amazon: