How to Be Happy and Full of Joy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Bring Back Your Joy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Human Energy Teacher, Mentor
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

========================
Last month I shared how to relax into stress by trusting yourself and your natural processes. Read about how to transform overwhelming energy if you missed it: http://thevibrantmoment.com/2017/07/19/how-to-live-in-process-and-relax-into-stress/

Thank the cosmos, I was able to follow my own advice. For the last two weeks, I have been able to enjoy my daily swim and relax in the shade afterwards, while looking up at the beautiful blue sky. What a joy!

I was stuck in a defensive response to stress. Nothing kills joy faster than defensive energy. This is the reason I am highly motivated to get rid of defensive energy as fast as possible. How often do you get stuck in a defensive reaction?

“No one understands me. No one cares about me,” my client said after the end of a story about how an unkind person related to him. He didn’t say it, but I could feel that he included me in with all the rest of the people in his life. He did not think that I understood or cared about him either.

After forty years of experience working with defensive energy, I know that when someone is defensive, they do not trust me. I also know that when someone does not trust me, there is nothing I can do to help them. Therefore, if I cannot find a way to help my client return to his senses so he can trust me again, he is on his own.

This means he will stay stuck in his false beliefs, reacting as if they are true, when in reality they are false. This is the emotional health dynamic when many people end an important relationship with their friend, family or psychologist. You can currently see millions of people all over the world acting as if their irrational thoughts about reality are true, when they are false.

This is an excellent definition of mental illness. When you, or someone you know and love, is stuck in a false belief that no one understands you, you are out of touch with reality. Of course, it is true that people are sometimes unkind, mean and attacking. Yes, the person in my clients’ story was unkind.

However, it is also true that my client is being unkind to his friend and himself. The bottom line is, when you stop being unkind to yourself is when unkindness stops hurting you. When I stopped criticizing myself, I stopped being defensive about all my problems. Once I was kind and loving toward myself, my pleasure in living returned.

The next time this emotional health dynamic occurs in your life, you could transform your defensive energy into flowing healthy, energy. Instead of making yourself or the other person wrong, you could return to your senses. If you feel, instead of think, you return to your body and reality. Common sense, reality and truth are the ingredients needed to cultivate joy and vibrant moments.

Bring back your joy by being kind to yourself—no matter what is going on in your life.

=========================

LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Assertiveness Training is essential education if you want healthy relationships. Learn how to express your emotions and feelings in effective ways to get what you want and need. Study ways to stop defensive behaviors such as being aggressive or passive. Being angry empowers you to stop people from hurting you and taking advantage of you. Be effective in taking care of yourself in relationships. Money-back guarantee, $149.97, 46-page manual, six written lessons and six audio coaching classes to guide you. Order the home study Assertiveness Training course and enjoy working with it. Just reading the manual will help you be more assertive.
Read more and order: http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

==================
STOP CRITICIZING: Defensive energy is caused by two demons, Guilt and Judgment. Learn how to get rid of guilt and live a guilt free life. Order the one-hour audio lesson, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment.” http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

=================================

Follow me on twitter for daily inspiration: http://twitter.com/DorisJeanette ====================================

If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with your friends and colleagues. It comes to you from holistic psychologist, Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist with forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com.

How to Reach Pain Free Living with Body Love

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Feel Reality.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Health and Wellness Coach, Mentor
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

Follow me on Twitter for daily inspiration:
http://twitter.com/DorisJeanette

==========================

After my mother’s death two years ago, I experienced physical problems as I grieved. I had expected to feel a huge loss emotionally but I had not expected to suffer so much physically. Nevertheless, I did.

Your body records reality. Sometimes physical reality hangs on to unhealthy energy, false beliefs and maladaptive conditioned responses for a very long time. Therefore, it is wise to pay attention to every little pain, discomfort and signal you get from your body.

Just as it is imperative to listen to your emotional self when you have emotional feelings, it is imperative to listen to your physical self when you have body feelings. Take a deep breath and feel your body now. What is going on inside of it? Outside of it?

Your Feelings Connect You to Reality.

When you do not feel, you become mentally ill, emotionally distraught and physically sick. Therefore, getting in touch with your genuine feelings is the solution to anxiety, depression, physical pain and low self-esteem.

Yes, of course, when you first feel, you feel something you do not like, such as pain. This is the reality you have been avoiding and the reason you stopped feeling in the first place. Welcome the hurt because it will lead you to natural health and wellness and more vibrant moments.

Feeling reality is a whole lot more pleasant than feeling sick or anxious. When grieving or going through any difficult period you need to trust your natural process. This means you must let go of control to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

The more you control reality, the sicker you will be. The more you feel reality, the healthier you will be. Learn to love your body and emotions. Accept your reality if you want to return to natural health and wellness. Body love wonders wonders!

When you let go of control, you let go of your ego. Therefore, you immediately access more of your True Self who knows how to heal you. I feel like I am getting out of prison. The prison was my unconscious, which was full guilt, pity, hopelessness and false beliefs. Your unconscious contains the unhealthy energy you must face and feel so it moves up and out of you.

Take a deep breath and let go. As you exhale, feel your current reality. For help feeling your emotions, study and work with the Opening the Heart audio. For help feeling your body, do the body exercises in the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. The home study course includes the Opening the Heart Audio.

Relax. Feel the a-mazing comfort of reality. Feel your physical and emotional pain. Your stuck energy naturally moves forward as soon as you start to feel reality. Soon you feel more freedom and holistic health as more vital energy moves through your body.

=========================

FEEL YOUR BODY FEELINGS: Get the help you need to feel reality where you are safe and sane. Take the home study course, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally.” Ten written lessons and five hours of audio that includes the comforting, relaxing “Opening the Heart” audio series on how to feel your body and emotions. Order now and enjoy receiving the help given. $199.97 money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

==========================

NEED HELP FEELING YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF?  Listen to the “Opening the Heart” audio as it guides you into finding your real self and saying goodbye to your ego. A comforting, loving voice guides you into finding, healing and loving your emotional self. Your emotional self always knows exactly how you feel, what you need and what you want. Three hours of comforting, relaxing audio to listen to over and over again. $97.97 money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html
=================================

If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share with your friends and colleagues. It comes to you from holistic psychologist, Dr. Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist with forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com.

How to Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Come True

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: You Can Do it.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==============

Do you believe you can do what you want to do?
Do you know you have a right to live the life you desire?

There is no reason you cannot follow your heart and enjoy more vibrant moments. Even though the pathway to freedom and joy is full of real fears and irrational anxieties, never give up or think you cannot face your real fears and overcome your anxieties.

If your life is not what you want it to be, if your health is puny, if you feel deep sorrow, know there is hope. At any moment in time you can begin the process of transforming your dense, defensive energy into more love and light. You have the power to shift, change, transform, unlearn, and learn whenever you decide to take action.

The pathway to your goals is clear. You must stay true to yourself. As you move forward you will learn many new skills, behaviors, and habits that empower you and make you innately happy. The journey to self-actualization is fun, you do not have to wait until you get to the end of your life to enjoy yourself.

Here is a list of lessons learned in 2015 from a regular client who is willing to share her successes with you. She had a very hard year full of relationship, financial, and stage four cancer problems. Yet, she stayed true to herself and is now happier and healthier than she has ever been.

May her list inspire and motivate you to keep learning and growing. She said, “If I distilled my list down, it would pretty much be learning to love and care for myself.”

Lessons Learned in 2015

I am the most important being in my life.
I am very, very strong emotionally, physically, and energetically.
I have gifts and I can explore them at my own pace.
No one knows about me better than I know about myself.
Energy leaks are critical to fix.
My Higher Self is me. My Little Girls are me.
Align with authentic self, not ego.
We heal ourselves.
Reality is the only safe place.
Love is more powerful than anything; love makes everything alright.
I am not alone. Ever.
I am deeply loved.
I am brave.
I let go of so much and I am ok.
I face my biggest fears and walk through them.
I always get back home.
We have to choose to receive in order to receive.
We always have a choice.
My truth feels like goose bumps on the inside.
Greater compassion for self and others.
Only I can make myself happy. I can only make myself happy.
Feeling grateful makes every situation ok.
Look for the lesson. There is a lesson in everything.
I am living a bigger life and learning how to keep growing it.

Take some of her lessons and make them your lessons for 2016. Stay true to yourself and you will definitely move forward. Open your heart and send love to yourself and then to others.

========================

FIND THE LOVE IN YOUR HEART: Feel better, love more, and be healthier when you learn how to feel your emotions and stay true to yourself. The Opening the Heart audio series is a three-hour comforting, relaxing guide that helps you find, accept, heal, and follow your emotional self to freedom and joy. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Opening the Heart:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

================

NEED EDUCATION? Manifest what you want and need in 2016. Visit the no drug, holistic psychology, self-help products, audio, and home study courses available at
http://www.drjeanette.com/selfhelpproducts.html

Drug Free, Alternative Therapy, Home Study Courses:
1. “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” $199.97
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html
2. “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” $149.97
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html
3. “Become a Better Lover,” $249.97
http://www.drjeanette.com/becomeabetterlover.html

===============================

Relationship Advice: How to Get Joy in Your Heart as a Single Person

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get to Know Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==============

Are you single for the holidays?
Are you missing someone you love?

Some of you may be single for the holidays. Others may be missing a
loved one who has passed over. Relationships are extremely important.
However, the most important relationship you have, or ever will have,
may be one that you are neglecting and ignoring.

How do you relate to yourself? Do you love or reject your body? Do
you accept or find fault with your emotions? How close are you to
your soul? Do you accept your age? Loving yourself never gets to an
end point of satisfaction. There is always more to accept and
something new to embrace.

Being single for the holidays is a challenge. Living through the
first holidays without a loved one is painful. However, if you spent
time being grateful for what you have and turn your attention to your
own personal growth, the holidays can be enjoyable and bear fruit for
the new year.

Here is a list of ten action steps to help you feel better and enjoy
your holidays if you are single or feel alone.

1. Send your inner critic out in the cold.
2. Get to know your personal desires and needs.
3. Express your feelings creatively.
4. Enjoy little things about your own company.
5. Indulge yourself in simple pleasures.
6. Spend time with people who love you.
7 Do some serious personal growth.
8. Listen to harmonious music that makes you feel good.
9. Spend time in nature relaxing, walking, and breathing.
10. Read self-help material to feel good about yourself.

For more details about each action step visit:
http://www.drjeanette.com/singlefortheholidays.html

Give yourself joy in your heart to enjoy more vibrant moments during
your holidays.

========================

SINGLE FOR THE HOLIDAYS? Read, study, and take the “7 Steps to
Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” Divorce is painful.
Breaking up with a lover is so hard just before the holidays. Get the
emotional support and love you need to face each day and get through
the night. thirteen pages, PDF, $9.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

===============================

HEAL YOUR HEART: Do not repeat the same painful patterns of your past.
Emotional hurt is the first sign of more life. Get the emotional heal
ing guidance you need to love and accept yourself so you attract better
partners in the future. Heal your heart so you become emotionally secure
and self-confident. The three hours of comforting audio leads you to
your emotional self and shows you how to be more self-accepting an
d self-loving. Get help with your feelings, fear, and hurt. Money-back
guarantee, $97.00.

Read more and order Opening the Heart:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

HOLIDAY BONUS: Order the “Opening the Heart” audio series before Dec.
20 and get the report “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce
or Break Up” for free, worth $9.97. If you already own “7 Steps to
Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up,” pick a personal
growth mp3 audio worth $29.97 from this list:
http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

====================================

HOLIDAY GIFTS: Give a meaningful holiday or birthday gift certificate
to your mother, child, beloved, or self to say I love you. It can be used
toward any of the holistic psychology empowering home study courses
and relaxing audio. From $25.00 to $200.00, or ask me for the exact
amount you need.

Read list of self-help products:
http://www.drjeanette.com/selfhelpproducts.html

Order your gift certificate:
http://www.drjeanette.com/gift.html

==================

How to Get More by Blessing More with Universal Law

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Bless Often.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==============

Yes, count your blessings and bless that which you want to possess and manifest. Thanksgiving is a wonderful reminder of giving thanks. When you give thanks, you grease the pathway to more abundance for yourself.

Since you cannot trump universal laws, it is best to work with them. The blessings law is easy and fun to practice and improve. How often do you curse something instead of blessing it? When you curse, you grease the pathway to deprivation.

Cursing means you find fault with someone, criticize an object, or judge yourself as inferior. In a nutshell, you curse something or someone every time you judge something or someone. The law works so that whatever you give energy to increases.

Unfortunately, it takes a lot of blessings to make up for a few curses. So watch what you do, be careful. One thing I tend to curse is development and concrete. Philadelphia is booming once again with rapid development, high rises, and more concrete poured on my beloved grass and trees. It is so hard for me to bless concrete. It really is.

However, without concrete there would be no swimming pool for me to swim in! Or, bridges to cross the river so I can eat Indian food and walk in nature on the beautiful University of Pennsylvania campus. Concrete keeps the city free of flying dirt. Concrete is symbolic of connection, strength, and endurance.

My Thanksgiving blessing: Bless you, oh, magnificent concrete, I love you and what you do. Bless you so I become more like you — connected, stronger, and endurant.

You could spend a lot of time this Thanksgiving being grateful for all the wonderful things you already possess. Count your blessings and write them down on a piece of paper. This will grease your pathway to more abundance.

Then take your blessings out on a walk. Bless everything in sight that you want more of. Blessings work. For example, bless every time you see two people getting along with each other to help you get along better with others.

Let me know what happens when you practice the blessings law. I must give credit to my teacher. I am grateful my mother blessed me and taught me how to bless. Bless you for reading The Vibrant Moment.

================

EXPRESS YOUR THANKS: Give a meaningful holiday or birthday gift certificate to your mother, child, beloved, or self to say thank you. It can be used toward any of the holistic psychology empowering home study courses and relaxing audio. From $25.00 to $200.00, or ask me for the exact amount you need.

Read list of self-help products:
http://www.drjeanette.com/selfhelpproducts.html

Order your gift certificate:
http://www.drjeanette.com/gift.html

==================

How to Heal Buttons and Stop Being Reactive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Buttons.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

A reader asks, “How do I channel my sensitive side in a positive way through the divorce. I still have to live with my narcissist husband and he pushes all my buttons.”

Ah, those buttons! Everyone has buttons that get pushed in relationships. Buttons are helpful, red flags that tell you something inside of you has not been healed, and desperately needs to be healed. Buttons are gaping emotional wounds.

You do not have to be a highly sensitive person to have buttons and to have them trigged by someone’s comment or behavior. However, if you are a highly sensitive person you may over react more often and be more defensive when someone touches your wounds. This is because you feel the emotional pain more intensely.

This is not a disadvantage. I used to wish I was not so sensitive. This was before I knew the advantages of feeling so much, so deeply. When you feel what is really going on inside of you, and outside of you, you have the potential to develop exquisite empathy and solid self-confidence.

If you learn the difference between thoughts and feelings, you can trust what you feel in your body. Instead of thinking or believing in false beliefs, you can stand in physical reality. Deducting or pretending about reality does not make you more self-confident; it makes you weaker, like your narcissistic husband.

Consider your strengths. A highly sensitive person feels internal and external anxiety. Many people bind their anxiety by staying busy or denying their leg that is physically jumping up and down! Anxiety is in their leg, making it jump up and down, yet, they do not feel anxious or know they are anxious. This means their anxious leg is out of control and out of their awareness.

Being out of touch with your leg jumping up and down is not helpful. The results of having this much anxiety in your body have major consequences. There is a high probability that you will suffer from poor mental, emotional, and physical health. So be grateful you experience your anxiety and discomfort. This is far better than your unconscious husband who thinks you have all the problems.

Be glad you know you have buttons. Thank the person who pushes them. When buttons are pushed you have the chance to unlearn your ineffective habit of reacting and being defensive. Instead, you can learn to feel what you really feel.

When your husband says, “You are too sensitive, why does that bother you.” Instead of defending against how you feel, feel it. Feel stupid, dumb, scared, inferior, dirty, selfish, guilty or whatever. If you want to be strong and improve your self esteem, your job is to feel what you feel.

Feel stupid, and at the same time, support yourself emotionally. Stay with your sensitive self and do not call her stupid. Protect your emotional self from any outside judgment with genuine self-acceptance.

Soon you will be noticing the other person’s anxious body language and irrational behavior and feel grateful you are standing in reality instead of losing touch with your body.

=====================

READ BODY LANGUAGE: Feel in your body the difference between thoughts and feelings. Get practice standing in reality and feeling solid self-esteem. Become more aware of what you really feel and begin to trust what you feel. Learn about body language in the forest near New Hope, PA, Oct 24. Your personal requests are addressed. Join me and a small group of men and women. $200.00 all-day workshop. Six spots left.

Read more and sign up at:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

=============================

GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE? Divorce is hard and painful. There are ways to take care of yourself and your buttons through a breakup or divorce that make it easier on you. If you take these seven steps you become stronger instead of weaker. Learn the “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” 13 pages; $9.97; PDF (Adobe Acrobat Reader) format.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up:”
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

=============================

HIGHLY SENSITIVE? Learn to trust and love your sensitive self. Stop others from causing you to doubt yourself. Learn the “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Accept, develop, and use your sensitive nature to your advantage. 31-page PDF file, $19.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

========================

How to Know When You are Defensive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Give Up Defensive Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==================

A reader asks, “Show an example of authentic defensiveness (validly
taking care of yourself) and whatever ‘being defensive’ is … people
always make it sound nasty and shameful. It’s dismissive, as it’s
often used in the vernacular. ‘Oh, you’re just being defensive. I
don’t have to pay attention to what you’re saying.’ In other words, a
power play, to create helplessness.”

I was walking through Rittenhouse Park on the way to buy groceries
when I caught myself in the act of being defensive for the first
time. I was replaying a conversation over and over again in my head
between me and my traditional talk therapist. She said, “You are … I
honestly cannot remember what she said at this point about me. My
response was, “This is NOT TRUE about me. No, way. I am not …”
whatever it was she said.

In my head I was defending myself. Making up reasons to prove that
what she said was not true. Creating excuses about the reason I do
this and that and the other. This mental energy of denying and
rejecting what my therapist said is an excellent example of defensive
energy.

My new psychological awareness was in the early 1980s and I did not
know about body language and energy flow. I did know about defense
mechanisms. Thank Freud for discovering that humans create defense
mechanisms to defend themselves against a perceived attack. I felt
threatened by the observation and feedback that I was getting from my
therapist.

You defend yourself when you feel criticized or attacked. The person
giving you the feedback may or may not be attacking you. Usually,
they are not. They are telling you their truth and you do not like
it. You do not like it because it makes you uncomfortable and
anxious. You do not like it because it threatens your ego, your image
of yourself.

An example of assertive behavior, which would be authentic
defensiveness, would be to receive what my therapist said and explore
her feedback to see how much of it was true. I am sure all of it was
true. She was not being critical of me, she was trying to help me
become more conscious and aware.

You may think your family and friends are making you wrong or bad.
However, most of the time they are being honest with you and they are
not attacking you. Once in a while a family member may be judging you
and making you wrong and bad. In this case you need to say to
yourself, “So what? Maybe she is or is not making me wrong or bad. So
what?”

When you say “So what?” to yourself, this helps you immediately give
up your defensive response. The goal is to be assertive and not
defensive. An assertive response is one that supports you
emotionally. If you are assertive you are honest with yourself about
what you feel. You do not reject how you feel.

You experience your helplessness if that is what you feel. Feeling
helplessness is a step closer to becoming stronger and more secure.
No one is making you helpless, you feel helpless. Feeling helpless
goes back to early childhood learning when you really were helpless.

When you feel helpless, now as an adult, you need to connect in a
loving way with the part of you who feels helpless. Your helplessness
is not going to go away until you do something to help it go away.
Your job is to protect the part of you that feels helpless and keep
her safe and secure.

Defending yourself against helplessness does not empower you. Feeling
your helplessness and making sure the helpless part of you gets the
practical assistance she needs from your authentic adult self empowers
you. If you provide what is needed to your emotional self, you will be
stronger and more secure the next time you get feedback.

You will be able to receive feedback and consider it without
rejecting it or turning it against yourself. Once you get rid of your
inner, learned, mental judgments against yourself, another person’s
judgment does not destroy you. Outside judgments do not feel good,
but if you do not agree with the judgment, it does not hurt your
heart.

The reason an outside attack does not hurt your heart is because you
are protecting and loving your little girl, and her feelings. She
does not feel helpless if you are taking care of her and protecting
her from internal and external attacks.

Never be afraid of feeling helpless or any other feeling. It is by
listening to your feelings that you know how to protect your
emotional self so that you become stronger and more secure. The
helpless part of you cannot take care of herself on her own. She
really is helpless, until you show up and do what is needed.

Is this clear? If not, ask another question.

=====================

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Being assertive is a powerful, effective, and
the fast way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need
to learn assertive communication skills that protect the inner child.
If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years
it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is
time for to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the
World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six
hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six
Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around:
Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 30 and receive
the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for free. Must mention
The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

========================

PRACTICE BEING ASSERTIVE: Get the practical help you need to be more
assertive in real life. Have fun playing with color and sound. Get
grounded. Enjoy being in the forest with a small group of people
interested in becoming stronger and more alive. Lots of energy and
body exercises. Saturday, October 24, all day workshop, near New
Hope, PA. $200.00.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

How to Get What You Want by Being Assertive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Rational.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

You make a mistake.
Your partner does something you do not like.
Your son will not eat what you want him to eat.

What do you do? Do you become rigid and controlling, insisting he eat the way you want him to eat? Do you exaggerate the situation and make it worse than it is? Is this moment really that much of a tragedy?

We all overreact sometimes. It is wise to notice when you do. If you have been in effective therapy, you received outside feedback about your irrational, defensive behavior. You learned that being defensive is a waste of your time and energy. Even more importantly, you learned that irrational behavior does not get you what you want.

An irrational reaction is when you behave in a way that does not fit the reality of the situation. A defensive reaction is not an emotional reaction. Psychologists, researchers, and dictionaries often confuse the source of irrational reactions and tell you that you are being too emotional. Not true.

The source of an irrational reaction is a learned conditioned response. Reactions often feel like a knee jerk response that occurs so quickly you cannot be master over it. But is it? The figurative meaning of knee jerk comes from the physical patellar reflex discovered and named in the 1870s by Dr. William Richard Gowers. Your physical knee jerk response is necessary for good health. It is a reflex, not a conditioned response.

An irrational reaction to life situations is not a reflex and it is not good for your holistic health. When you are conditioned to respond irrationally to anything, you are trapped in a vicious circle of self-control. You are like the pigeons in the city parks that go round and round because they are conditioned to turn around because once they found food when they did.

Could it be that when you are not “in control,” you react irrationally? Yes, irrational reactions occur when you cannot cope with reality. You suddenly become dysfunctional, instead of breathing, dealing, and bending with what is really occurring. When you are irrational, you are not feeling your authentic emotions and you are not aware of your body.

Abruptly, you behave as if you were a monster, instead of a human being with choices and options. In this irrational moment, you are the one being controlled. Thus, you are weak and helpless. You are not free to choose an assertive, effective way to handle the situation.

Reactions are learned, which is a very good thing, because this means you can unlearn them. There is no reason you cannot break free from any conditioned response and become rational and emotionally secure. Rise above your conditioned reactions by feeling your emotions and body, instead of being afraid of them. Your body and heart help you stay safe and sane.

Being in touch with your emotions is what allows you to be assertive. You must know what you feel before you can be assertive. When you are assertive, you are rational and emotionally secure. You are standing tall on a solid foundation of integrity.

Being honest makes you an effective, loving parent, lover, and friend. Best of all, you get what you want.

=====================

GET WHAT YOU WANT: You deserve to get what you want and feel good about it. Being assertive is powerful, effective, and the fastest way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need to learn assertive communication skills that work. If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is time for you to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 23 and receive the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for fr.ee. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus. http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

========================

STUDY GUIDE: Need to learn new things? If you or your child must study, learn how to use your mind and body for effective study habits and better results. Order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance, one hour tele seminar, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance:
http://www.drjeanette.com/7studyskills.html

======================

How to Follow Your Heart and Find Peace

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Seek Peace.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

A reader asks, “What do I need to feel more at peace?”

A pause and a wonder.

That is a short answer arriving instantly from my intuitive poet. Let’s explore the holistic psychology dynamics of finding peace to see how close my little poetic phrase is to the longer version.

Peace is a state where all is well. You do not have to jump up and do something. You are ok and your world is ok. When you feel peace you are enough and your world is enough. You are in harmony with yourself and your surroundings. I love feeling peace, tis a delicious, deep, vibrant moment.

The opposite of peace is war, conflict, fighting, confusion, and distress. Conflict, fighting, confusion, and distress are caused by a brain that is never satisfied. A brain that finds fault with its world. A brain that does not allow you to experience reality. This never satisfied part of you is sure to make you unhappy and drive others away.

From your question I assume that you are in conflict. This means different parts of you are at war. The war may be hopelessly futile, meaning no one ever wins. Unfortunately, this is the conflict the brain often puts you in — a lose-lose situation. A lose-lose mental state is irrational. If you try to please the irrational part of you, you often feel crazy because it is impossible to please an irrational brain.

For example, the irrational brain loves to call you lazy. So, you jump up and try to please the brain so it does not call you lazy. After you do what the brain told you to do, the brain does not say, “Great job, that is wonderful. You are wonderful. You are enough.” Instead it says, “You didn’t finish the job, you didn’t do this enough or that enough. You didn’t do it the right way.”

Alas, you are still lazy or stupid or crazy or selfish. You always will be, and never can you get out of the irrational lose-lose situation your brain puts you in, until you get out of your brain. The pathway to peace is to exit the conflict you are in. Since there are no winners in this war, letting go of trying to please an irrational master is smart.

Instead, listen to your heart and follow your heart. Your heart is a wonderful master: loving and kind, gentle and strong. Let your heart lead the way and peace is what you find. You will also enjoy good mental health and enough time to play, make love, and have lots of vibrant moments. A compassionate heart is peaceful and patient.

To find your compassionate heart, you must open your heart. To open your heart go inside and take a look. There you may find your inner conflicts covering up your lovely heart. These are the conflicts you must heal, forgive, and transform in order to be at peace. There is no magic, you must do the personal growth needed to heal, forgive, and transform this dense energy out and away from you.

The secret is to find your emotional self who must be protected from the crazy lose-lose situation you are constantly putting her in. Only when you are safe from your judgment can you experience peace and harmony instead of conflict and disharmony.

There is sanity in the real world. The war between your brain and heart is real and one will win, every single time, every single moment of your day. Only one can be your master. You get to choose.

A pause and a wonder. Stop, feel, and be in awe of what you find, the precious one that is you.

=====================

OPEN YOUR HEART: The benefits of opening your heart are peace, patience, kindness, love, and vibrant moments. Opening the Heart audio series is the guide to help you find your emotional self and learn how to keep her safe from your judgments. Your emotional self leads you to peace and your purpose in life. Three hours of relaxing, comforting audio to use again and again to help you do the personal growth needed to follow your heart. Order “Opening the Heart,” $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Opening the Heart:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order before Sunday, August 2 and get the Opening the Heart Ebook, worth $19.97 for free. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.

========================

ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Learn more about your sensitive self and how to trust your intuition and poet. Did you know that twenty percent of the population is highly sensitive? Another twenty percent is sensitive. This special report, “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person” addresses the concerns and psychological problems you may have in accepting, developing, and using your intuitive skills to your advantage. 31-page PDF file, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

=======================

TAME YOUR THOUGHTS: Your thoughts are strong, keep you awake at night, and are often out of control. You must pay attention to your thoughts and get rid of the rotten, lose-lose ones as fast as you can. Tame Your Thoughts is an hour tele-seminar that helps you change masters. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Tame Your Thoughts:
http://www.drjeanette.com/tameyourthoughts.html

=========================

How to Grieve to Become Stronger and More Secure

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Sad with Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
===================

Being sad with yourself is just as important as being happy with yourself. Last week we explored how genuine heart happiness is based on realistic self-love. Read The Vibrant Moment if you missed it: http://thevibrantmoment.com/?p=1510

This week we need to balance your self-love by adding genuine sadness. Yes, being sad with yourself is essential if you want to increase your self-esteem and holistic health. Sadness is powerful; it connects you with other human beings. The closest I have ever felt to another person was when they shared their heart-felt pain with me.

Genuine sadness is deep, real, and rich. You feel the texture, hear the sounds, and know the sadness is coming from deep within your heart and soul. Sometimes the sadness comes from far away, such as the cry of Mother Earth as her trees or children are being hurt.

Regular readers of The Vibrant Moment know my mother passed away January 25, 2015. Grieving her in-the-flesh loss has many up and downs as I feel my body and emotional feelings. I feel like an orphan, all alone and sad. I feel abandoned by my mother even though that does not make any rational sense. Feelings do not make sense, they make music.

Loving yourself and staying with yourself when you are sad helps you move forward through loss, grief, and sorrow. You become stronger and more secure after feeling sad. When I feel sad, it quickly changes into another emotion and I am soon laughing and having fun with my friends again.

You may also feel a piercing sadness that you have not fulfilled yourself. I feel deep sorrow I have not used more of my human potential. Feeling the profound pain of not reaching an important goal helps you recognize your heart’s desires and admit the strong fears you need to overcome in order to reach them. Let your sadness be a potent motivator to take action, instead of dismissing your heart’s desires before it is too late.

Feel sad when you feel sad, and your sadness flows into more strength, joy, and happiness. If you avoid, deny, block, or repress your sadness, your controlled energy becomes dense and dark, weighing you down. This stuck, blocked energy keeps you from moving toward your heart’s desires and makes you mentally and physically sick.

Find healthy ways to express your sorrow with any of the expressive arts. Put on sad music, look at a sad play or movie, write about your feelings, and feel connected to the human race. Sadness connects us deeply and profoundly with each other. Sadness increases your self-esteem so you fulfill your purpose in life. Sadness is food for your soul and opens the door to more joy.

=========================

LACKING FULFILLMENT? You had a dream about being rich and did not follow through. You had a feeling you could be sick and did not heed your own wisdom. Learn to use your natural Goddess-given gifts to fulfill your heart’s desires. Get the holistic psychology help you need to accept, develop, and use your intuitive and highly sensitive nature to your advantage. Order the special report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Thirty-one-page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person:”
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

=========================

FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: Learn to be sad with yourself by listening to the “Opening the Heart” audio series. The third hour of audio, “When You’re Hurting…” teaches you how to stay with your sadness so your vital energy makes you self-confident, healthy, and strong. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross loved the “When You’re Hurting…” audio and recommended it in her newsletter. The other two hours of audio are “Feelings. the source of authentic love” and “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy.” “Opening the Heart” gives you three hours of comforting, relaxing emotional healing guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day to use as needed. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order “Opening the Heart” before Monday, June 15 and get the Ebook, “Opening the Heart” worth $19.97 for free. The written words have a different impact on you. Words reach the left brain and help overcome its resistance!

====================

FEELING SAD ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP? Learn exactly what you must do to stop your emotional pain and move forward. Relationship pain is one of the strongest motivators for personal growth. This report is helpful even if you want to keep your relationship and improve it before you lose it! Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” Thirteen pages; $9.97; PDF (Adobe Acrobat Reader) format.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

===================