How to Feel Safe in an Unsafe World

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel Reality.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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Terror, anyone?

A reader who just listened to the Tame Your Thoughts audio asks a question, “The audio did help. I was recently overcome with a lot of paranoid thoughts, insomnia and was able to come out of the paranoia with medicine. But I don’t believe in taking medicine for the rest of my life. I think it usually gets brought on from a stressful social situation. Do you think it’s just heightened anxiety?”

Yes, you are experiencing heightened anxiety which is called terror. Most people walk around without being aware of what they feel. Instead, they defend against fear, anxiety, and terror so they do not have to feel the reality of fear, anxiety, and terror.

As a result, millions of people live in an illusion of safety. Meaning you think you are safe because you control yourself and reality but you are not really safe because you cannot control yourself and reality. Control creates an ego energy, which is weak and brittle. Your ego crumbles in a gentle breeze of reality because it is based on false beliefs.

When you do not feel your real feelings, you create mental illness, emotional distress, and physical disease. In the flesh terrorists are one of the many results. Inside all our raging terrorists is a young child who grew up not feeling his fear, anxiety, and terror. As a result, he acts out his feelings on the world stage like an actor.

What happens when terrorists terrorize the world in Paris? It can trigger your unconscious, inner terror. When any young child does not have a way to get in touch with reality and get rid of her false beliefs she can become paranoid.

A child trapped in heightened anxiety, without effective help, often leads to paranoia. Paranoia leads to bad decisions and unhealthy behaviors. You can see paranoia in action right now in some of the United States’ political leaders as they react to the events in Paris.

Does this make sense to you? Some real terror in the outside world probably triggered your unconscious, inner terror. Outside terror brought your inner feelings up to the surface so it was harder to keep your denied terror unconscious. This is a good thing. You want to be aware of your anxiety, fear, and terror.

The other good news is that you knew you were paranoid. Thank goodness. Paranoid thoughts are especially hard to deal with if you do not know you are paranoid. To get rid of paranoid thoughts, you must trust someone to help you correct your misperceptions.

Therefore, the antidote for paranoid is reality. Not only do you need to tame your thoughts. You need to get touch with your body feelings and emotional feelings and use this data to help you stay in reality where sanity exists.

Does this help you take the next step forward? Let me know.

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LIVE IN REALITY: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally. Step by step this course leads you out of your irrational thinking into physical and emotional reality so you feel safe and sane. Ten written lessons and five hours of audio, including the Opening the Heart audio series. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Order before Dec. 7 and get a free hour audio worth $29.97 of your choice from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

Must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get bonus.

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HOLIDAY GIFTS: Give a meaningful holiday or birthday gift certificate to your mother, child, beloved, or self to say I love you. It can be used toward any of the holistic psychology empowering home study courses and relaxing audio. From $25.00 to $200.00, or ask me for the exact amount you need.

Read list of self-help products:
http://www.drjeanette.com/selfhelpproducts.html

Order your gift certificate:
http://www.drjeanette.com/gift.html

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How to Get More by Blessing More with Universal Law

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Bless Often.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==============

Yes, count your blessings and bless that which you want to possess and manifest. Thanksgiving is a wonderful reminder of giving thanks. When you give thanks, you grease the pathway to more abundance for yourself.

Since you cannot trump universal laws, it is best to work with them. The blessings law is easy and fun to practice and improve. How often do you curse something instead of blessing it? When you curse, you grease the pathway to deprivation.

Cursing means you find fault with someone, criticize an object, or judge yourself as inferior. In a nutshell, you curse something or someone every time you judge something or someone. The law works so that whatever you give energy to increases.

Unfortunately, it takes a lot of blessings to make up for a few curses. So watch what you do, be careful. One thing I tend to curse is development and concrete. Philadelphia is booming once again with rapid development, high rises, and more concrete poured on my beloved grass and trees. It is so hard for me to bless concrete. It really is.

However, without concrete there would be no swimming pool for me to swim in! Or, bridges to cross the river so I can eat Indian food and walk in nature on the beautiful University of Pennsylvania campus. Concrete keeps the city free of flying dirt. Concrete is symbolic of connection, strength, and endurance.

My Thanksgiving blessing: Bless you, oh, magnificent concrete, I love you and what you do. Bless you so I become more like you — connected, stronger, and endurant.

You could spend a lot of time this Thanksgiving being grateful for all the wonderful things you already possess. Count your blessings and write them down on a piece of paper. This will grease your pathway to more abundance.

Then take your blessings out on a walk. Bless everything in sight that you want more of. Blessings work. For example, bless every time you see two people getting along with each other to help you get along better with others.

Let me know what happens when you practice the blessings law. I must give credit to my teacher. I am grateful my mother blessed me and taught me how to bless. Bless you for reading The Vibrant Moment.

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EXPRESS YOUR THANKS: Give a meaningful holiday or birthday gift certificate to your mother, child, beloved, or self to say thank you. It can be used toward any of the holistic psychology empowering home study courses and relaxing audio. From $25.00 to $200.00, or ask me for the exact amount you need.

Read list of self-help products:
http://www.drjeanette.com/selfhelpproducts.html

Order your gift certificate:
http://www.drjeanette.com/gift.html

==================

How to Feel Happy and Say Wow More Often

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Experience Wow Often.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==============

When was the last time you said, “Wow!” out loud?
When was the last time someone else said, “Wow!” to you?

This is the first thing one of my current clients has been saying for the last few months when we connect on the phone. “Wow!” Her life is certainly not boring, mundane, or ordinary. What about yours?

The Vibrant Moment exists to make sure your life is not boring, mundane, or ordinary. When you are here on planet earth you have the opportunity to have lots of exciting adventures. Sometimes reality is hard and difficult but if you stay in your natural flow, you become stronger and wiser after the hard times.

Regular readers know my mother passed away last winter after about a year of sickness. I mention my life experiences from time to time to help you see how real people live in the flow. While staying in the hard times is difficult when you are grieving or in pain, know that when you get out of the hard times you will experience joy again.

After my exciting, loving, body awareness Nature Workshop this past weekend, I have been walking around my house rubbing my hands together because I am so excited. “Wow!” pops out of my mouth every few minutes. My energy has returned! I finally have some pep!

Awareness is such that you do not notice you are missing something until you get it. I knew I did not have much energy, grieving was using it all up. However, I did not know how ungrounded I was. I was trusting I would move through my grief and get my energy back. And … that is just what happened.

After working in the forest this week-end with a group of caring, open people, my legs are back to sturdy and strong. I have not felt this strong since I rushed to NC to be with my sick mother a year and a half ago. Honestly, the power I feel in my legs may be greater than before.

For sure, my joyful energy has returned and I feel good all over. Of course, my grieving is not over, but this difficult passage in my life has turned a corner. Now I am enjoying the benefits of transformation that come with grieving the loss of a loved one. More of me is present and available for healthy living and vibrant moments.

For you, stay with yourself wherever you are and trust your natural process. If you are in hard times, you will be back to experiencing “Wow!” soon. Just let go of trying to control anything or anyone and more of you will soon be present and available.

Keep the faith. Get grounded and enjoy the moment — whatever it is.

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GET GROUNDED: If you want me to do a Nature Workshop in your area contact me. Perhaps we can make it happen. Your legs can feel stronger and more sturdy. If there is a location you will travel to such as Hawaii let me know.

Read about Nature Workshops:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

Contact information at drjeanette.com

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GROUNDING AT HOME: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to get your mental energy grounded so you stop being anxious. Extremely effective. If you do the body exercises, you get results. Ten written lessons, five hours of audio, including the emotional health audio guide, Opening the Heart worth $97.00. Course is tax deductible for holistic health professionals as continuing education. Buy the entire home study course for $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

Order before November 1 and get a free audio worth $29.97 of your choice at: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus in the check out box.

=====================

How to Know When You are Grounded and Relaxed

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get Grounded.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==============

I often mention how important it is for you to be grounded. This is because being ungrounded for you, a human energy system, has the same unpleasant consequences that your light switch suffers when it is ungrounded.

You could burn down your house if your electrical box did not have a safety value to completely shut off the electrical current when the wires get overloaded. Apply the same principles to you, your body, and nervous system.

Just like a teenager who is out of control and desperately needs his parents to ground him until he comes back into balance, you need to keep an eye on yourself. The results of not being grounded are self-destructive. For example, when you are ungrounded, you are anxious, manic, irrational, and accident-prone.

Do you know when you are ungrounded? Here is a list of factors to help you know if you are grounded or not.

If you are grounded you:
Are aware of your body as a solid mass.
Feel energy in your feet.
Are aware of the bottom of your feet connecting to gravity.
You are not moving too fast or too slow.
Are aware of your physical surroundings.
Notice how you are relating to yourself and others.
Are relaxed and present, ready to response appropriately.

The first factor is the most important one. If you are not aware of your body, there is a high probability that you are not grounded. Without body awareness you are in some mental state that is defensive, weak, and unreliable.

Your holistic and mental health are determined by the degree to which you are grounded. Psychologists, coaches, social workers, and therapists, need to get grounded so they can teach you how get grounded and stay grounded.

I was just in Yellowstone National Park enjoying the bears and the signs that said, “Be Bear Aware.” Inspired, I leave you with a strong reminder: “Be Body Aware!”

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GET GROUNDED: Mother Nature grounds you and protects you from irrational thoughts. Let me teach you how to get grounded and stay grounded. Relax and express yourself in a small group of interesting people at a Nature Workshop. Near NYC and Philadelphia. Come for the day or spend the colorful fall weekend in New Hope, PA. October 24, 11:00-5:00, $200.00, five openings left.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

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GROUNDING AT HOME: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to get your mental energy grounded so you stop being anxious. Extremely effective. If you do the body exercises, you get results. 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, including the emotional health audio guide, Opening the Heart worth $97.00. Course is tax deductible for professionals as continuing education. Buy the entire home study course for $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

=====================

How to Heal Buttons and Stop Being Reactive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Buttons.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

A reader asks, “How do I channel my sensitive side in a positive way through the divorce. I still have to live with my narcissist husband and he pushes all my buttons.”

Ah, those buttons! Everyone has buttons that get pushed in relationships. Buttons are helpful, red flags that tell you something inside of you has not been healed, and desperately needs to be healed. Buttons are gaping emotional wounds.

You do not have to be a highly sensitive person to have buttons and to have them trigged by someone’s comment or behavior. However, if you are a highly sensitive person you may over react more often and be more defensive when someone touches your wounds. This is because you feel the emotional pain more intensely.

This is not a disadvantage. I used to wish I was not so sensitive. This was before I knew the advantages of feeling so much, so deeply. When you feel what is really going on inside of you, and outside of you, you have the potential to develop exquisite empathy and solid self-confidence.

If you learn the difference between thoughts and feelings, you can trust what you feel in your body. Instead of thinking or believing in false beliefs, you can stand in physical reality. Deducting or pretending about reality does not make you more self-confident; it makes you weaker, like your narcissistic husband.

Consider your strengths. A highly sensitive person feels internal and external anxiety. Many people bind their anxiety by staying busy or denying their leg that is physically jumping up and down! Anxiety is in their leg, making it jump up and down, yet, they do not feel anxious or know they are anxious. This means their anxious leg is out of control and out of their awareness.

Being out of touch with your leg jumping up and down is not helpful. The results of having this much anxiety in your body have major consequences. There is a high probability that you will suffer from poor mental, emotional, and physical health. So be grateful you experience your anxiety and discomfort. This is far better than your unconscious husband who thinks you have all the problems.

Be glad you know you have buttons. Thank the person who pushes them. When buttons are pushed you have the chance to unlearn your ineffective habit of reacting and being defensive. Instead, you can learn to feel what you really feel.

When your husband says, “You are too sensitive, why does that bother you.” Instead of defending against how you feel, feel it. Feel stupid, dumb, scared, inferior, dirty, selfish, guilty or whatever. If you want to be strong and improve your self esteem, your job is to feel what you feel.

Feel stupid, and at the same time, support yourself emotionally. Stay with your sensitive self and do not call her stupid. Protect your emotional self from any outside judgment with genuine self-acceptance.

Soon you will be noticing the other person’s anxious body language and irrational behavior and feel grateful you are standing in reality instead of losing touch with your body.

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Feel in your body the difference between thoughts and feelings. Get practice standing in reality and feeling solid self-esteem. Become more aware of what you really feel and begin to trust what you feel. Learn about body language in the forest near New Hope, PA, Oct 24. Your personal requests are addressed. Join me and a small group of men and women. $200.00 all-day workshop. Six spots left.

Read more and sign up at:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

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GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE? Divorce is hard and painful. There are ways to take care of yourself and your buttons through a breakup or divorce that make it easier on you. If you take these seven steps you become stronger instead of weaker. Learn the “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” 13 pages; $9.97; PDF (Adobe Acrobat Reader) format.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up:”
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

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HIGHLY SENSITIVE? Learn to trust and love your sensitive self. Stop others from causing you to doubt yourself. Learn the “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Accept, develop, and use your sensitive nature to your advantage. 31-page PDF file, $19.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

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How to Know When You are Defensive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Give Up Defensive Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==================

A reader asks, “Show an example of authentic defensiveness (validly
taking care of yourself) and whatever ‘being defensive’ is … people
always make it sound nasty and shameful. It’s dismissive, as it’s
often used in the vernacular. ‘Oh, you’re just being defensive. I
don’t have to pay attention to what you’re saying.’ In other words, a
power play, to create helplessness.”

I was walking through Rittenhouse Park on the way to buy groceries
when I caught myself in the act of being defensive for the first
time. I was replaying a conversation over and over again in my head
between me and my traditional talk therapist. She said, “You are … I
honestly cannot remember what she said at this point about me. My
response was, “This is NOT TRUE about me. No, way. I am not …”
whatever it was she said.

In my head I was defending myself. Making up reasons to prove that
what she said was not true. Creating excuses about the reason I do
this and that and the other. This mental energy of denying and
rejecting what my therapist said is an excellent example of defensive
energy.

My new psychological awareness was in the early 1980s and I did not
know about body language and energy flow. I did know about defense
mechanisms. Thank Freud for discovering that humans create defense
mechanisms to defend themselves against a perceived attack. I felt
threatened by the observation and feedback that I was getting from my
therapist.

You defend yourself when you feel criticized or attacked. The person
giving you the feedback may or may not be attacking you. Usually,
they are not. They are telling you their truth and you do not like
it. You do not like it because it makes you uncomfortable and
anxious. You do not like it because it threatens your ego, your image
of yourself.

An example of assertive behavior, which would be authentic
defensiveness, would be to receive what my therapist said and explore
her feedback to see how much of it was true. I am sure all of it was
true. She was not being critical of me, she was trying to help me
become more conscious and aware.

You may think your family and friends are making you wrong or bad.
However, most of the time they are being honest with you and they are
not attacking you. Once in a while a family member may be judging you
and making you wrong and bad. In this case you need to say to
yourself, “So what? Maybe she is or is not making me wrong or bad. So
what?”

When you say “So what?” to yourself, this helps you immediately give
up your defensive response. The goal is to be assertive and not
defensive. An assertive response is one that supports you
emotionally. If you are assertive you are honest with yourself about
what you feel. You do not reject how you feel.

You experience your helplessness if that is what you feel. Feeling
helplessness is a step closer to becoming stronger and more secure.
No one is making you helpless, you feel helpless. Feeling helpless
goes back to early childhood learning when you really were helpless.

When you feel helpless, now as an adult, you need to connect in a
loving way with the part of you who feels helpless. Your helplessness
is not going to go away until you do something to help it go away.
Your job is to protect the part of you that feels helpless and keep
her safe and secure.

Defending yourself against helplessness does not empower you. Feeling
your helplessness and making sure the helpless part of you gets the
practical assistance she needs from your authentic adult self empowers
you. If you provide what is needed to your emotional self, you will be
stronger and more secure the next time you get feedback.

You will be able to receive feedback and consider it without
rejecting it or turning it against yourself. Once you get rid of your
inner, learned, mental judgments against yourself, another person’s
judgment does not destroy you. Outside judgments do not feel good,
but if you do not agree with the judgment, it does not hurt your
heart.

The reason an outside attack does not hurt your heart is because you
are protecting and loving your little girl, and her feelings. She
does not feel helpless if you are taking care of her and protecting
her from internal and external attacks.

Never be afraid of feeling helpless or any other feeling. It is by
listening to your feelings that you know how to protect your
emotional self so that you become stronger and more secure. The
helpless part of you cannot take care of herself on her own. She
really is helpless, until you show up and do what is needed.

Is this clear? If not, ask another question.

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TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Being assertive is a powerful, effective, and
the fast way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need
to learn assertive communication skills that protect the inner child.
If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years
it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is
time for to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the
World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six
hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six
Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around:
Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 30 and receive
the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for free. Must mention
The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

========================

PRACTICE BEING ASSERTIVE: Get the practical help you need to be more
assertive in real life. Have fun playing with color and sound. Get
grounded. Enjoy being in the forest with a small group of people
interested in becoming stronger and more alive. Lots of energy and
body exercises. Saturday, October 24, all day workshop, near New
Hope, PA. $200.00.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

How to Get What You Want by Being Assertive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Rational.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

You make a mistake.
Your partner does something you do not like.
Your son will not eat what you want him to eat.

What do you do? Do you become rigid and controlling, insisting he eat the way you want him to eat? Do you exaggerate the situation and make it worse than it is? Is this moment really that much of a tragedy?

We all overreact sometimes. It is wise to notice when you do. If you have been in effective therapy, you received outside feedback about your irrational, defensive behavior. You learned that being defensive is a waste of your time and energy. Even more importantly, you learned that irrational behavior does not get you what you want.

An irrational reaction is when you behave in a way that does not fit the reality of the situation. A defensive reaction is not an emotional reaction. Psychologists, researchers, and dictionaries often confuse the source of irrational reactions and tell you that you are being too emotional. Not true.

The source of an irrational reaction is a learned conditioned response. Reactions often feel like a knee jerk response that occurs so quickly you cannot be master over it. But is it? The figurative meaning of knee jerk comes from the physical patellar reflex discovered and named in the 1870s by Dr. William Richard Gowers. Your physical knee jerk response is necessary for good health. It is a reflex, not a conditioned response.

An irrational reaction to life situations is not a reflex and it is not good for your holistic health. When you are conditioned to respond irrationally to anything, you are trapped in a vicious circle of self-control. You are like the pigeons in the city parks that go round and round because they are conditioned to turn around because once they found food when they did.

Could it be that when you are not “in control,” you react irrationally? Yes, irrational reactions occur when you cannot cope with reality. You suddenly become dysfunctional, instead of breathing, dealing, and bending with what is really occurring. When you are irrational, you are not feeling your authentic emotions and you are not aware of your body.

Abruptly, you behave as if you were a monster, instead of a human being with choices and options. In this irrational moment, you are the one being controlled. Thus, you are weak and helpless. You are not free to choose an assertive, effective way to handle the situation.

Reactions are learned, which is a very good thing, because this means you can unlearn them. There is no reason you cannot break free from any conditioned response and become rational and emotionally secure. Rise above your conditioned reactions by feeling your emotions and body, instead of being afraid of them. Your body and heart help you stay safe and sane.

Being in touch with your emotions is what allows you to be assertive. You must know what you feel before you can be assertive. When you are assertive, you are rational and emotionally secure. You are standing tall on a solid foundation of integrity.

Being honest makes you an effective, loving parent, lover, and friend. Best of all, you get what you want.

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GET WHAT YOU WANT: You deserve to get what you want and feel good about it. Being assertive is powerful, effective, and the fastest way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need to learn assertive communication skills that work. If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is time for you to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 23 and receive the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for fr.ee. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus. http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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STUDY GUIDE: Need to learn new things? If you or your child must study, learn how to use your mind and body for effective study habits and better results. Order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance, one hour tele seminar, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance:
http://www.drjeanette.com/7studyskills.html

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How to Follow Your Heart and Find Peace

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Seek Peace.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

A reader asks, “What do I need to feel more at peace?”

A pause and a wonder.

That is a short answer arriving instantly from my intuitive poet. Let’s explore the holistic psychology dynamics of finding peace to see how close my little poetic phrase is to the longer version.

Peace is a state where all is well. You do not have to jump up and do something. You are ok and your world is ok. When you feel peace you are enough and your world is enough. You are in harmony with yourself and your surroundings. I love feeling peace, tis a delicious, deep, vibrant moment.

The opposite of peace is war, conflict, fighting, confusion, and distress. Conflict, fighting, confusion, and distress are caused by a brain that is never satisfied. A brain that finds fault with its world. A brain that does not allow you to experience reality. This never satisfied part of you is sure to make you unhappy and drive others away.

From your question I assume that you are in conflict. This means different parts of you are at war. The war may be hopelessly futile, meaning no one ever wins. Unfortunately, this is the conflict the brain often puts you in — a lose-lose situation. A lose-lose mental state is irrational. If you try to please the irrational part of you, you often feel crazy because it is impossible to please an irrational brain.

For example, the irrational brain loves to call you lazy. So, you jump up and try to please the brain so it does not call you lazy. After you do what the brain told you to do, the brain does not say, “Great job, that is wonderful. You are wonderful. You are enough.” Instead it says, “You didn’t finish the job, you didn’t do this enough or that enough. You didn’t do it the right way.”

Alas, you are still lazy or stupid or crazy or selfish. You always will be, and never can you get out of the irrational lose-lose situation your brain puts you in, until you get out of your brain. The pathway to peace is to exit the conflict you are in. Since there are no winners in this war, letting go of trying to please an irrational master is smart.

Instead, listen to your heart and follow your heart. Your heart is a wonderful master: loving and kind, gentle and strong. Let your heart lead the way and peace is what you find. You will also enjoy good mental health and enough time to play, make love, and have lots of vibrant moments. A compassionate heart is peaceful and patient.

To find your compassionate heart, you must open your heart. To open your heart go inside and take a look. There you may find your inner conflicts covering up your lovely heart. These are the conflicts you must heal, forgive, and transform in order to be at peace. There is no magic, you must do the personal growth needed to heal, forgive, and transform this dense energy out and away from you.

The secret is to find your emotional self who must be protected from the crazy lose-lose situation you are constantly putting her in. Only when you are safe from your judgment can you experience peace and harmony instead of conflict and disharmony.

There is sanity in the real world. The war between your brain and heart is real and one will win, every single time, every single moment of your day. Only one can be your master. You get to choose.

A pause and a wonder. Stop, feel, and be in awe of what you find, the precious one that is you.

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OPEN YOUR HEART: The benefits of opening your heart are peace, patience, kindness, love, and vibrant moments. Opening the Heart audio series is the guide to help you find your emotional self and learn how to keep her safe from your judgments. Your emotional self leads you to peace and your purpose in life. Three hours of relaxing, comforting audio to use again and again to help you do the personal growth needed to follow your heart. Order “Opening the Heart,” $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Opening the Heart:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order before Sunday, August 2 and get the Opening the Heart Ebook, worth $19.97 for free. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.

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ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Learn more about your sensitive self and how to trust your intuition and poet. Did you know that twenty percent of the population is highly sensitive? Another twenty percent is sensitive. This special report, “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person” addresses the concerns and psychological problems you may have in accepting, developing, and using your intuitive skills to your advantage. 31-page PDF file, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.”
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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS: Your thoughts are strong, keep you awake at night, and are often out of control. You must pay attention to your thoughts and get rid of the rotten, lose-lose ones as fast as you can. Tame Your Thoughts is an hour tele-seminar that helps you change masters. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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Take Your Sexual Self Out of the Closet for Better Holistic Health

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Relax and Feel Good.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader asks, “What is Sexual Health and how can I improve it?”

In the early 1980’s, a client came into my office and complained, “Why didn’t you tell me I was going to feel more sexual? I did not know this was going to happen and you never mentioned it.” She frowned at me. She was not happy she felt so “turned on” as a result of our work together.

Honestly, I never even thought about her sexual health improving as a result of teaching her to relax and feel her emotions. She had a husband, they had sex, no known sexual problem. Yet, as her anxiety level dropped more and more, her sexual energy automatically and naturally increased! To me, this was good news. To her, she was scared of her increased sexual desire.

I mention this client to help you appreciate the power and potency of your sexual energy. If you do not already have good sexual health, there is a high probability you are afraid of letting your sexuality flow freely. Therefore, when you begin to improve your sexual health, make sure you keep tabs on your anxiety all along the way if you want to be successful in unlearning your sexual inhibitions.

Let me remind you that the better your sexual health, the better your mental and physical health. This week, I will give you a definition of sexual health. Next week I will talk about ways to improve it. Sex technically refers only to intercourse, which is a biological function for reproduction. However, people today, and according to the World Health Organization, sexual health is:

“a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors.” (WHO, 2006a)

As you can see, your sexual health is involved not only with your innate physical responses but interacts with all the existing factors in your outside world. As a holistic psychologist and sex therapist I base your sexual health on your ability to love yourself and others. This means you need to love your body, sexual response, emotional expression, and spiritual energy.

First, you need to know that your sexual health does not depend on having sex with someone else. Absolutely, not! You can also have pleasurable physical organisms without being touched by another person. You can have an amazing spiritual kundalini experience without being touched by another person.

Your sexual health has to do with how you relate to your sexuality, not how someone else relates to your sexuality. For good sexual health you must know, accept, and love your own unique blend of sexual needs, desires, and responsiveness.

If you are sexually healthy you will be:
Able to let go of control and feel your body feelings
Aware of your body and how it feels when you move
Able to relax into your body as needed
Comfortable with your natural body orders
At ease touching your body for comfort and pleasure
Able to let loving people touch your body
Receptive, allowing energy into your body
Expressive, giving energy outward to others
Spontaneous and free of inhibitions
Able to love and be loved
Able to give and receive physical pleasure
Comfortable having orgasms alone and with others
Self-confident with or without a sexual partner

Write down which of these abilities you are already good at and which you need to work on. Your degree of sexual health depends on how many, how much, and how often, you enjoy these qualities and experiences. The more, the better your sexual health.

This week pay attention to how you relate to your sexual self. Is she or he “in the closet, hiding from you?” Or are you in love with your sexual self, protecting this part of you from inner or external judgments? Just notice, do not make yourself wrong about what you notice.

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GET TURNED ON: If you are stuck in your head thinking most of the time, Order “Hear Your Body Talking” and really listen with your whole body so you begin to honor your body wisdom and begin to love and take better care of your physical home. One-hour personal growth love your body audio, $29.97.

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WANT TO RELAX AND FEEL GOOD? Learn to relax and feel your emotions so you get more turned on to life. Take the home study course, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” five hours of emotional health audio and ten written lessons, $199.97. Money-back guarantee.

SUMMER BONUS: Order before Sunday, June 28 and get fifteen minutes of free email sessions to help you stay on course and be successful, worth $50.00.

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FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS: The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing sexual energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

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How to Overcome Perfectionism? Stop Anxiety From Ruining Your Life!

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Chaos is Not Dangerous.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do you want to be perfect?
Do you find fault with people who are slow or unsure?

Perhaps you have an inner critic called “Ms. Perfect” or “Mr. Never Satisfied.” Perfectionism is a serious upper class mental health problem. Even the middle and lower classes can think being perfect has it virtues. A la the White Picket Fence Envy Syndrome of those living outside the perfect house where the perfect family live with the perfect kids and perfect jobs.

Perfect people cannot let go of control and experience colors, feelings, and emotions. Therefore, if you try to be perfect you do not enjoy vibrant moments, playful lovemaking, and heart-felt happiness. Being spontaneous, free, and joyful are rare events if you spend your time trying to be perfect.

Trying to be perfect makes you anxious and keeps you controlled. Since you are afraid of doing something wrong and bad, you severely inhibit your body and how it moves. This causes mental illness, sleepless nights, boredom, and physical diseases. Notice how much energy being perfect consumes.

Early in my career I discovered that perfect people were always afraid that if they let go of control they would be out of control. Perhaps you also need to know that when you let go of control you are not automatically in an out of control state. You may feel out of control since you are not used to chaos. Chaos is a period of time where you experience being a mess or making a mess.

If you do not have a mess or become a mess, from time to time, then you are stuck in a tiny perfect place of rigidity. Messes are part of the natural process of transformation. Chaos is not an out of control state. It is a necessary state you must accept, if you want to be successful in personal growth and make dramatic changes in your life.

Note what the scientist credited with discovering Chaos Theory, Edward Lorenz, called his paper in 1972: “Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?” Indeed it could and more. Chaos fuels personal growth, change, and transformation.

Some of you may be familiar with the ongoing story of the man in North Carolina on the CBS Evening News who is dying and finding deep meaning and purpose to his life. In March, 2015, we learned that he had tested the “butterfly effect” to see if one act of kindness in a North Carolina restaurant could go around the world. His act of kindness reached Africa.

What about you? What do you set off when you flap your wings or break free? What happens when you stop controlling yourself and create a mess? What are the results of not washing the dishes and making love instead?

We know from Chaos Theory that Mother Nature does indeed know what she is doing. Disorder, just like feeling your emotions, moves into order naturally on its own. It is safe to let go of control and enjoy the natural flow of your energy. Your natural energy flow gives you peak experiences and makes you physically stronger and mentally healthier.

On the other hand, being out of control is dangerous. Flying mental energy bolting around without awareness is dangerous. When your energy is not grounded, you are out of control. This means you need to quickly get back in your body and ground your energy so you do not hurt yourself or others.

Chaos is not dangerous. Chaos is part of nature and obeys natural laws. Go ahead and let go of control. Enjoy being an artist and free spirit, make a mess and reap the benefits of being creative and happy.

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YOUR BODY IS FOR GROUNDING! Yes, one of the three reasons you have a body is to keep your energy safe and securely grounded. Study the body awareness audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” to feel more secure letting go of control. Improve your relationship with your body for better results in relationships. Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Your body never forgets and never lies. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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CONTROLLED OR OUT OF CONTROL? The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order your copy for $3.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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