How to Feel Happy and Say Wow More Often

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Experience Wow Often.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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When was the last time you said, “Wow!” out loud?
When was the last time someone else said, “Wow!” to you?

This is the first thing one of my current clients has been saying for the last few months when we connect on the phone. “Wow!” Her life is certainly not boring, mundane, or ordinary. What about yours?

The Vibrant Moment exists to make sure your life is not boring, mundane, or ordinary. When you are here on planet earth you have the opportunity to have lots of exciting adventures. Sometimes reality is hard and difficult but if you stay in your natural flow, you become stronger and wiser after the hard times.

Regular readers know my mother passed away last winter after about a year of sickness. I mention my life experiences from time to time to help you see how real people live in the flow. While staying in the hard times is difficult when you are grieving or in pain, know that when you get out of the hard times you will experience joy again.

After my exciting, loving, body awareness Nature Workshop this past weekend, I have been walking around my house rubbing my hands together because I am so excited. “Wow!” pops out of my mouth every few minutes. My energy has returned! I finally have some pep!

Awareness is such that you do not notice you are missing something until you get it. I knew I did not have much energy, grieving was using it all up. However, I did not know how ungrounded I was. I was trusting I would move through my grief and get my energy back. And … that is just what happened.

After working in the forest this week-end with a group of caring, open people, my legs are back to sturdy and strong. I have not felt this strong since I rushed to NC to be with my sick mother a year and a half ago. Honestly, the power I feel in my legs may be greater than before.

For sure, my joyful energy has returned and I feel good all over. Of course, my grieving is not over, but this difficult passage in my life has turned a corner. Now I am enjoying the benefits of transformation that come with grieving the loss of a loved one. More of me is present and available for healthy living and vibrant moments.

For you, stay with yourself wherever you are and trust your natural process. If you are in hard times, you will be back to experiencing “Wow!” soon. Just let go of trying to control anything or anyone and more of you will soon be present and available.

Keep the faith. Get grounded and enjoy the moment — whatever it is.

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GET GROUNDED: If you want me to do a Nature Workshop in your area contact me. Perhaps we can make it happen. Your legs can feel stronger and more sturdy. If there is a location you will travel to such as Hawaii let me know.

Read about Nature Workshops:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

Contact information at drjeanette.com

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GROUNDING AT HOME: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to get your mental energy grounded so you stop being anxious. Extremely effective. If you do the body exercises, you get results. Ten written lessons, five hours of audio, including the emotional health audio guide, Opening the Heart worth $97.00. Course is tax deductible for holistic health professionals as continuing education. Buy the entire home study course for $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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Order before November 1 and get a free audio worth $29.97 of your choice at: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus in the check out box.

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How to Heal Buttons and Stop Being Reactive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Buttons.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

A reader asks, “How do I channel my sensitive side in a positive way through the divorce. I still have to live with my narcissist husband and he pushes all my buttons.”

Ah, those buttons! Everyone has buttons that get pushed in relationships. Buttons are helpful, red flags that tell you something inside of you has not been healed, and desperately needs to be healed. Buttons are gaping emotional wounds.

You do not have to be a highly sensitive person to have buttons and to have them trigged by someone’s comment or behavior. However, if you are a highly sensitive person you may over react more often and be more defensive when someone touches your wounds. This is because you feel the emotional pain more intensely.

This is not a disadvantage. I used to wish I was not so sensitive. This was before I knew the advantages of feeling so much, so deeply. When you feel what is really going on inside of you, and outside of you, you have the potential to develop exquisite empathy and solid self-confidence.

If you learn the difference between thoughts and feelings, you can trust what you feel in your body. Instead of thinking or believing in false beliefs, you can stand in physical reality. Deducting or pretending about reality does not make you more self-confident; it makes you weaker, like your narcissistic husband.

Consider your strengths. A highly sensitive person feels internal and external anxiety. Many people bind their anxiety by staying busy or denying their leg that is physically jumping up and down! Anxiety is in their leg, making it jump up and down, yet, they do not feel anxious or know they are anxious. This means their anxious leg is out of control and out of their awareness.

Being out of touch with your leg jumping up and down is not helpful. The results of having this much anxiety in your body have major consequences. There is a high probability that you will suffer from poor mental, emotional, and physical health. So be grateful you experience your anxiety and discomfort. This is far better than your unconscious husband who thinks you have all the problems.

Be glad you know you have buttons. Thank the person who pushes them. When buttons are pushed you have the chance to unlearn your ineffective habit of reacting and being defensive. Instead, you can learn to feel what you really feel.

When your husband says, “You are too sensitive, why does that bother you.” Instead of defending against how you feel, feel it. Feel stupid, dumb, scared, inferior, dirty, selfish, guilty or whatever. If you want to be strong and improve your self esteem, your job is to feel what you feel.

Feel stupid, and at the same time, support yourself emotionally. Stay with your sensitive self and do not call her stupid. Protect your emotional self from any outside judgment with genuine self-acceptance.

Soon you will be noticing the other person’s anxious body language and irrational behavior and feel grateful you are standing in reality instead of losing touch with your body.

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Feel in your body the difference between thoughts and feelings. Get practice standing in reality and feeling solid self-esteem. Become more aware of what you really feel and begin to trust what you feel. Learn about body language in the forest near New Hope, PA, Oct 24. Your personal requests are addressed. Join me and a small group of men and women. $200.00 all-day workshop. Six spots left.

Read more and sign up at:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

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GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE? Divorce is hard and painful. There are ways to take care of yourself and your buttons through a breakup or divorce that make it easier on you. If you take these seven steps you become stronger instead of weaker. Learn the “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” 13 pages; $9.97; PDF (Adobe Acrobat Reader) format.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up:”
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HIGHLY SENSITIVE? Learn to trust and love your sensitive self. Stop others from causing you to doubt yourself. Learn the “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Accept, develop, and use your sensitive nature to your advantage. 31-page PDF file, $19.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

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How to Know When You are Defensive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Give Up Defensive Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader asks, “Show an example of authentic defensiveness (validly
taking care of yourself) and whatever ‘being defensive’ is … people
always make it sound nasty and shameful. It’s dismissive, as it’s
often used in the vernacular. ‘Oh, you’re just being defensive. I
don’t have to pay attention to what you’re saying.’ In other words, a
power play, to create helplessness.”

I was walking through Rittenhouse Park on the way to buy groceries
when I caught myself in the act of being defensive for the first
time. I was replaying a conversation over and over again in my head
between me and my traditional talk therapist. She said, “You are … I
honestly cannot remember what she said at this point about me. My
response was, “This is NOT TRUE about me. No, way. I am not …”
whatever it was she said.

In my head I was defending myself. Making up reasons to prove that
what she said was not true. Creating excuses about the reason I do
this and that and the other. This mental energy of denying and
rejecting what my therapist said is an excellent example of defensive
energy.

My new psychological awareness was in the early 1980s and I did not
know about body language and energy flow. I did know about defense
mechanisms. Thank Freud for discovering that humans create defense
mechanisms to defend themselves against a perceived attack. I felt
threatened by the observation and feedback that I was getting from my
therapist.

You defend yourself when you feel criticized or attacked. The person
giving you the feedback may or may not be attacking you. Usually,
they are not. They are telling you their truth and you do not like
it. You do not like it because it makes you uncomfortable and
anxious. You do not like it because it threatens your ego, your image
of yourself.

An example of assertive behavior, which would be authentic
defensiveness, would be to receive what my therapist said and explore
her feedback to see how much of it was true. I am sure all of it was
true. She was not being critical of me, she was trying to help me
become more conscious and aware.

You may think your family and friends are making you wrong or bad.
However, most of the time they are being honest with you and they are
not attacking you. Once in a while a family member may be judging you
and making you wrong and bad. In this case you need to say to
yourself, “So what? Maybe she is or is not making me wrong or bad. So
what?”

When you say “So what?” to yourself, this helps you immediately give
up your defensive response. The goal is to be assertive and not
defensive. An assertive response is one that supports you
emotionally. If you are assertive you are honest with yourself about
what you feel. You do not reject how you feel.

You experience your helplessness if that is what you feel. Feeling
helplessness is a step closer to becoming stronger and more secure.
No one is making you helpless, you feel helpless. Feeling helpless
goes back to early childhood learning when you really were helpless.

When you feel helpless, now as an adult, you need to connect in a
loving way with the part of you who feels helpless. Your helplessness
is not going to go away until you do something to help it go away.
Your job is to protect the part of you that feels helpless and keep
her safe and secure.

Defending yourself against helplessness does not empower you. Feeling
your helplessness and making sure the helpless part of you gets the
practical assistance she needs from your authentic adult self empowers
you. If you provide what is needed to your emotional self, you will be
stronger and more secure the next time you get feedback.

You will be able to receive feedback and consider it without
rejecting it or turning it against yourself. Once you get rid of your
inner, learned, mental judgments against yourself, another person’s
judgment does not destroy you. Outside judgments do not feel good,
but if you do not agree with the judgment, it does not hurt your
heart.

The reason an outside attack does not hurt your heart is because you
are protecting and loving your little girl, and her feelings. She
does not feel helpless if you are taking care of her and protecting
her from internal and external attacks.

Never be afraid of feeling helpless or any other feeling. It is by
listening to your feelings that you know how to protect your
emotional self so that you become stronger and more secure. The
helpless part of you cannot take care of herself on her own. She
really is helpless, until you show up and do what is needed.

Is this clear? If not, ask another question.

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TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Being assertive is a powerful, effective, and
the fast way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need
to learn assertive communication skills that protect the inner child.
If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years
it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is
time for to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the
World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six
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Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six
Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
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Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around:
Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 30 and receive
the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for free. Must mention
The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

========================

PRACTICE BEING ASSERTIVE: Get the practical help you need to be more
assertive in real life. Have fun playing with color and sound. Get
grounded. Enjoy being in the forest with a small group of people
interested in becoming stronger and more alive. Lots of energy and
body exercises. Saturday, October 24, all day workshop, near New
Hope, PA. $200.00.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

How to Get What You Want by Being Assertive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Rational.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

You make a mistake.
Your partner does something you do not like.
Your son will not eat what you want him to eat.

What do you do? Do you become rigid and controlling, insisting he eat the way you want him to eat? Do you exaggerate the situation and make it worse than it is? Is this moment really that much of a tragedy?

We all overreact sometimes. It is wise to notice when you do. If you have been in effective therapy, you received outside feedback about your irrational, defensive behavior. You learned that being defensive is a waste of your time and energy. Even more importantly, you learned that irrational behavior does not get you what you want.

An irrational reaction is when you behave in a way that does not fit the reality of the situation. A defensive reaction is not an emotional reaction. Psychologists, researchers, and dictionaries often confuse the source of irrational reactions and tell you that you are being too emotional. Not true.

The source of an irrational reaction is a learned conditioned response. Reactions often feel like a knee jerk response that occurs so quickly you cannot be master over it. But is it? The figurative meaning of knee jerk comes from the physical patellar reflex discovered and named in the 1870s by Dr. William Richard Gowers. Your physical knee jerk response is necessary for good health. It is a reflex, not a conditioned response.

An irrational reaction to life situations is not a reflex and it is not good for your holistic health. When you are conditioned to respond irrationally to anything, you are trapped in a vicious circle of self-control. You are like the pigeons in the city parks that go round and round because they are conditioned to turn around because once they found food when they did.

Could it be that when you are not “in control,” you react irrationally? Yes, irrational reactions occur when you cannot cope with reality. You suddenly become dysfunctional, instead of breathing, dealing, and bending with what is really occurring. When you are irrational, you are not feeling your authentic emotions and you are not aware of your body.

Abruptly, you behave as if you were a monster, instead of a human being with choices and options. In this irrational moment, you are the one being controlled. Thus, you are weak and helpless. You are not free to choose an assertive, effective way to handle the situation.

Reactions are learned, which is a very good thing, because this means you can unlearn them. There is no reason you cannot break free from any conditioned response and become rational and emotionally secure. Rise above your conditioned reactions by feeling your emotions and body, instead of being afraid of them. Your body and heart help you stay safe and sane.

Being in touch with your emotions is what allows you to be assertive. You must know what you feel before you can be assertive. When you are assertive, you are rational and emotionally secure. You are standing tall on a solid foundation of integrity.

Being honest makes you an effective, loving parent, lover, and friend. Best of all, you get what you want.

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GET WHAT YOU WANT: You deserve to get what you want and feel good about it. Being assertive is powerful, effective, and the fastest way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need to learn assertive communication skills that work. If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is time for you to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 23 and receive the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for fr.ee. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus. http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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STUDY GUIDE: Need to learn new things? If you or your child must study, learn how to use your mind and body for effective study habits and better results. Order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance, one hour tele seminar, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance:
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How to Follow Your Heart and Find Peace

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Seek Peace.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

A reader asks, “What do I need to feel more at peace?”

A pause and a wonder.

That is a short answer arriving instantly from my intuitive poet. Let’s explore the holistic psychology dynamics of finding peace to see how close my little poetic phrase is to the longer version.

Peace is a state where all is well. You do not have to jump up and do something. You are ok and your world is ok. When you feel peace you are enough and your world is enough. You are in harmony with yourself and your surroundings. I love feeling peace, tis a delicious, deep, vibrant moment.

The opposite of peace is war, conflict, fighting, confusion, and distress. Conflict, fighting, confusion, and distress are caused by a brain that is never satisfied. A brain that finds fault with its world. A brain that does not allow you to experience reality. This never satisfied part of you is sure to make you unhappy and drive others away.

From your question I assume that you are in conflict. This means different parts of you are at war. The war may be hopelessly futile, meaning no one ever wins. Unfortunately, this is the conflict the brain often puts you in — a lose-lose situation. A lose-lose mental state is irrational. If you try to please the irrational part of you, you often feel crazy because it is impossible to please an irrational brain.

For example, the irrational brain loves to call you lazy. So, you jump up and try to please the brain so it does not call you lazy. After you do what the brain told you to do, the brain does not say, “Great job, that is wonderful. You are wonderful. You are enough.” Instead it says, “You didn’t finish the job, you didn’t do this enough or that enough. You didn’t do it the right way.”

Alas, you are still lazy or stupid or crazy or selfish. You always will be, and never can you get out of the irrational lose-lose situation your brain puts you in, until you get out of your brain. The pathway to peace is to exit the conflict you are in. Since there are no winners in this war, letting go of trying to please an irrational master is smart.

Instead, listen to your heart and follow your heart. Your heart is a wonderful master: loving and kind, gentle and strong. Let your heart lead the way and peace is what you find. You will also enjoy good mental health and enough time to play, make love, and have lots of vibrant moments. A compassionate heart is peaceful and patient.

To find your compassionate heart, you must open your heart. To open your heart go inside and take a look. There you may find your inner conflicts covering up your lovely heart. These are the conflicts you must heal, forgive, and transform in order to be at peace. There is no magic, you must do the personal growth needed to heal, forgive, and transform this dense energy out and away from you.

The secret is to find your emotional self who must be protected from the crazy lose-lose situation you are constantly putting her in. Only when you are safe from your judgment can you experience peace and harmony instead of conflict and disharmony.

There is sanity in the real world. The war between your brain and heart is real and one will win, every single time, every single moment of your day. Only one can be your master. You get to choose.

A pause and a wonder. Stop, feel, and be in awe of what you find, the precious one that is you.

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OPEN YOUR HEART: The benefits of opening your heart are peace, patience, kindness, love, and vibrant moments. Opening the Heart audio series is the guide to help you find your emotional self and learn how to keep her safe from your judgments. Your emotional self leads you to peace and your purpose in life. Three hours of relaxing, comforting audio to use again and again to help you do the personal growth needed to follow your heart. Order “Opening the Heart,” $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Opening the Heart:
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Order before Sunday, August 2 and get the Opening the Heart Ebook, worth $19.97 for free. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.

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ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Learn more about your sensitive self and how to trust your intuition and poet. Did you know that twenty percent of the population is highly sensitive? Another twenty percent is sensitive. This special report, “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person” addresses the concerns and psychological problems you may have in accepting, developing, and using your intuitive skills to your advantage. 31-page PDF file, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS: Your thoughts are strong, keep you awake at night, and are often out of control. You must pay attention to your thoughts and get rid of the rotten, lose-lose ones as fast as you can. Tame Your Thoughts is an hour tele-seminar that helps you change masters. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Tame Your Thoughts:
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How to Overcome Perfectionism? Stop Anxiety From Ruining Your Life!

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Chaos is Not Dangerous.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==================

Do you want to be perfect?
Do you find fault with people who are slow or unsure?

Perhaps you have an inner critic called “Ms. Perfect” or “Mr. Never Satisfied.” Perfectionism is a serious upper class mental health problem. Even the middle and lower classes can think being perfect has it virtues. A la the White Picket Fence Envy Syndrome of those living outside the perfect house where the perfect family live with the perfect kids and perfect jobs.

Perfect people cannot let go of control and experience colors, feelings, and emotions. Therefore, if you try to be perfect you do not enjoy vibrant moments, playful lovemaking, and heart-felt happiness. Being spontaneous, free, and joyful are rare events if you spend your time trying to be perfect.

Trying to be perfect makes you anxious and keeps you controlled. Since you are afraid of doing something wrong and bad, you severely inhibit your body and how it moves. This causes mental illness, sleepless nights, boredom, and physical diseases. Notice how much energy being perfect consumes.

Early in my career I discovered that perfect people were always afraid that if they let go of control they would be out of control. Perhaps you also need to know that when you let go of control you are not automatically in an out of control state. You may feel out of control since you are not used to chaos. Chaos is a period of time where you experience being a mess or making a mess.

If you do not have a mess or become a mess, from time to time, then you are stuck in a tiny perfect place of rigidity. Messes are part of the natural process of transformation. Chaos is not an out of control state. It is a necessary state you must accept, if you want to be successful in personal growth and make dramatic changes in your life.

Note what the scientist credited with discovering Chaos Theory, Edward Lorenz, called his paper in 1972: “Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?” Indeed it could and more. Chaos fuels personal growth, change, and transformation.

Some of you may be familiar with the ongoing story of the man in North Carolina on the CBS Evening News who is dying and finding deep meaning and purpose to his life. In March, 2015, we learned that he had tested the “butterfly effect” to see if one act of kindness in a North Carolina restaurant could go around the world. His act of kindness reached Africa.

What about you? What do you set off when you flap your wings or break free? What happens when you stop controlling yourself and create a mess? What are the results of not washing the dishes and making love instead?

We know from Chaos Theory that Mother Nature does indeed know what she is doing. Disorder, just like feeling your emotions, moves into order naturally on its own. It is safe to let go of control and enjoy the natural flow of your energy. Your natural energy flow gives you peak experiences and makes you physically stronger and mentally healthier.

On the other hand, being out of control is dangerous. Flying mental energy bolting around without awareness is dangerous. When your energy is not grounded, you are out of control. This means you need to quickly get back in your body and ground your energy so you do not hurt yourself or others.

Chaos is not dangerous. Chaos is part of nature and obeys natural laws. Go ahead and let go of control. Enjoy being an artist and free spirit, make a mess and reap the benefits of being creative and happy.

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YOUR BODY IS FOR GROUNDING! Yes, one of the three reasons you have a body is to keep your energy safe and securely grounded. Study the body awareness audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” to feel more secure letting go of control. Improve your relationship with your body for better results in relationships. Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Your body never forgets and never lies. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

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CONTROLLED OR OUT OF CONTROL? The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order your copy for $3.99:
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How to Grieve to Become Stronger and More Secure

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Sad with Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
===================

Being sad with yourself is just as important as being happy with yourself. Last week we explored how genuine heart happiness is based on realistic self-love. Read The Vibrant Moment if you missed it: http://thevibrantmoment.com/?p=1510

This week we need to balance your self-love by adding genuine sadness. Yes, being sad with yourself is essential if you want to increase your self-esteem and holistic health. Sadness is powerful; it connects you with other human beings. The closest I have ever felt to another person was when they shared their heart-felt pain with me.

Genuine sadness is deep, real, and rich. You feel the texture, hear the sounds, and know the sadness is coming from deep within your heart and soul. Sometimes the sadness comes from far away, such as the cry of Mother Earth as her trees or children are being hurt.

Regular readers of The Vibrant Moment know my mother passed away January 25, 2015. Grieving her in-the-flesh loss has many up and downs as I feel my body and emotional feelings. I feel like an orphan, all alone and sad. I feel abandoned by my mother even though that does not make any rational sense. Feelings do not make sense, they make music.

Loving yourself and staying with yourself when you are sad helps you move forward through loss, grief, and sorrow. You become stronger and more secure after feeling sad. When I feel sad, it quickly changes into another emotion and I am soon laughing and having fun with my friends again.

You may also feel a piercing sadness that you have not fulfilled yourself. I feel deep sorrow I have not used more of my human potential. Feeling the profound pain of not reaching an important goal helps you recognize your heart’s desires and admit the strong fears you need to overcome in order to reach them. Let your sadness be a potent motivator to take action, instead of dismissing your heart’s desires before it is too late.

Feel sad when you feel sad, and your sadness flows into more strength, joy, and happiness. If you avoid, deny, block, or repress your sadness, your controlled energy becomes dense and dark, weighing you down. This stuck, blocked energy keeps you from moving toward your heart’s desires and makes you mentally and physically sick.

Find healthy ways to express your sorrow with any of the expressive arts. Put on sad music, look at a sad play or movie, write about your feelings, and feel connected to the human race. Sadness connects us deeply and profoundly with each other. Sadness increases your self-esteem so you fulfill your purpose in life. Sadness is food for your soul and opens the door to more joy.

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LACKING FULFILLMENT? You had a dream about being rich and did not follow through. You had a feeling you could be sick and did not heed your own wisdom. Learn to use your natural Goddess-given gifts to fulfill your heart’s desires. Get the holistic psychology help you need to accept, develop, and use your intuitive and highly sensitive nature to your advantage. Order the special report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Thirty-one-page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person:”
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

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FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: Learn to be sad with yourself by listening to the “Opening the Heart” audio series. The third hour of audio, “When You’re Hurting…” teaches you how to stay with your sadness so your vital energy makes you self-confident, healthy, and strong. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross loved the “When You’re Hurting…” audio and recommended it in her newsletter. The other two hours of audio are “Feelings. the source of authentic love” and “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy.” “Opening the Heart” gives you three hours of comforting, relaxing emotional healing guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day to use as needed. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order “Opening the Heart” before Monday, June 15 and get the Ebook, “Opening the Heart” worth $19.97 for free. The written words have a different impact on you. Words reach the left brain and help overcome its resistance!

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FEELING SAD ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP? Learn exactly what you must do to stop your emotional pain and move forward. Relationship pain is one of the strongest motivators for personal growth. This report is helpful even if you want to keep your relationship and improve it before you lose it! Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” Thirteen pages; $9.97; PDF (Adobe Acrobat Reader) format.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

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How to Be Heart Happy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Happy With Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

===================

While attending a psychology lecture during my graduate school days
at Baylor University, the professor said, “Never expect to make
people happy. Happiness has nothing to do with psychology.
Psychologists cannot make anyone happy.”

Imagine my feelings and emotions when I learned that one of the major
reasons I was studying to be a psychologist was not what I “should”
try to do or what I “could” do. Wow, was I depressed, inhibited,
insecure, and ejected after that lecture.

All this studying and reading and remembering the white, straight,
male psychological theories for nothing! If traditional psychology
could not even make people happy, what was I doing in graduate
school? Honestly, this was the closest I ever came to suicide. If
there was a button to push I might have pushed it. Or the other
option was to take off in my VW van, Sunshine, and travel the world.

Thankfully, I stayed to complete my doctorate degree because
somewhere deep inside, I knew my psychology professor was wrong. I
could be happy and I could teach others how to be happy. Happiness is
a Goddess-given right for all human beings. We deserve to be happy
and we can be happy. Genuinely, happy. Not, positive thinking happy.
Happy in the heart, happy.

Real happiness is closely related to real love. When you love
yourself, you are happy with yourself. When you are happy with
yourself, you love yourself. When you love someone else, you are
happy with the other person. When you love a plant or sunset, it
makes you happy!

To become happier start with something about yourself you love. Your
feet? Your heart? Your mind? Your ability to do something or other.
Notice a quality or behavior about yourself that you admire in
others. If you have trouble with this personal growth exercise, get
outside, objective help to discover the truth about yourself.

Next, notice how often during the day you pay attention to what you
love about yourself. Become more aware as you go through your
evenings of how many moments you spent giving yourself a little love
and emotional support. Give yourself a little love more often to feel
better more often.

Just make sure what you love about yourself is real and not your
puffed up ego or puffed up chest. I doubt you want to reinforce your
unhealthy, controlling energy, which would make your defensive body
language more obvious!

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INTERESTED IN A HEART HAPPY GROUP? Join a “Joy in Your Heart” group
on the phone to learn how to become happy and satisfied with
yourself, realistically! Being happy in the heart improves your heart
and breast health. Email me and let me know you want to experience
more vibrant moments and “Joy in Your Heart.” The small group will
run for four sessions for an hour and 15 minutes and cost $200.00.
Participants decide time and dates. Contact information at drjeanete.com

=========================

FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you want to be a happy in the heart
listen to the “Opening the Heart” audio series. The first hour of
audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into
finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or
him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio teaches you how to
feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other
two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and
“When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing
guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day. $97.00,
money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

=========================

OVERCOME ANXIETY NATURALLY: Learn to feel body feelings and emotional
feelings as you shift out of mental judgments into reality. Take the
effective home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to reduce the
static energy of anxiety out of your nervous system. The package includes
all you need to get started. Ten written lessons, five hours of audio
that include the Opening the Heart audio above. $199.97, money-back
guarantee.

Read more and order Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

=============================

 

How to Get Anxiety Out of Your Nervous System

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Emotional Wounds.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

===================

I am delighted last week’s The Vibrant Moment about how to permanently reduce anxiety resonated with so many readers. The information shared is the secret to reaching health and happiness on planet earth. If you have been in therapy and have not been able to stop your anxiety attacks, it contains the missing link. In summary, you must find, love, and heal your emotional self. Read The Vibrant Moment if you missed it here: How to Stop Anxiety

Not only does healing your emotional wounds reduce anxiety and depression, you also experience other holistic health benefits. Your physical and mental health begins to improve as soon as you feel your emotions. If the results you are getting in life are not to your liking, heal your emotional self and see what happens.

Another benefit of healing your deep emotional wounds is your relationships dramatically improve. All of the conflict you currently experience in relationships is due to an anxious, fearful child inside of you. When you heal your emotional self he or she feels safe and secure and does not react defensively in relationships with other people.

Once you feel safe and secure, everything is easier. A loving relationship with yourself, allows you to love others and let others love you. Whether you are washing the dishes, sitting by the pool, paying your bills, or swimming in the water you are more alive and whole. Your life is no longer ordinary and mundane, you have meaning and purpose.

When you become comfortable feeling your body feelings and emotional feelings you drop down, into a place I call, Heaven on Earth.  This holistic psychology newsletter is called The Vibrant Moment because when you feel safe and secure, you enter the present moment you are living and there are no distractions. No anxiety, no thoughts, just being alive in the moment. You have a whole body experience of be-ing in the world.

The rewards of healing your emotional wounds makes life on earth worth the pain you have experienced. Get the help you need to find, accept, and follow your emotional self to freedom and joy.

Write me and tell me the topics you want to know more about. If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share your holistic psychology newsletter with friends, family, and colleagues. Tell them to sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com

=========================

FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you do not own the three-hour “Opening the Heart” audio series, order it now. The first hour of audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio every day to learn how to feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and “When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

=========================

OVERCOME ANXIETY NATURALLY: Learn to feel body feelings and emotional feelings as you shift out of mental judgments into feelings. Take the effective home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to reduce the static energy of anxiety out of your nervous system. The package includes all you need to get started. ten written lessons, five hours of audio that include the Opening the Heart audio above. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

=============================

NEED HELP WITH GRIEF? Lose a pet, mother, or child? If you are interested in a four-session grief group on the phone this summer, “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” let me know. You get the support and help you need to keep moving forward with your grieving instead of getting stuck in depression and anxiety. If there is enough interest, I will do one or two “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” Groups during the summer. The price is $200 for four hour and fifteen minute sessions. Times and days will be decided by participants. Contract information at drjeanette.com

How to Stop Panic and Anxiety Attacks by Looking Into Your Heart

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Emotional Wounds.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

===================

A reader is interested in “Unlearning trauma imprints and rerouting and reprogramming the cognitive, reactive groove in your thinking. For instance, past panic attacks have been traumatic thinking I’m “going crazy,” going to faint, catastrophic thinking etc. Now whenever I have high anxiety, I have the same repetitive thoughts even though I don’t believe them anymore. It’s an old groove that I wish to reprogram.”

To successfully unlearn anything you must be certain there is no real danger involved. It would be dangerous to condition yourself to be fearless when there are so many real dangers in the world. Therefore, you must be absolutely certain, at all times, that you are emotionally safe and physically secure.

In the situation above, during an anxiety attack, you are experiencing high anxiety and repetitive thoughts. A part of you is scared and does not feel safe. You are trying to solve your anxiety problem by using your brain and it’s new, positive beliefs. This does not work.

To be effective, you must find the solution hiding out in your heart and body. “What is your emotional self really afraid of? What is her reality? What does she need from you?” It does not matter what you believe or think.

Beliefs do not help you. For example, consider the people who ran to the roof in the World Trade Center during the attacks of 9/11. Due to the in-house, safety trainings they believed they would be saved if they reached the roof. However, all of them died because there were no helicopters on the roof to save them because there was no roof to land on.

If you want to be safe, never, never trust your beliefs. They could be right or wrong at any moment in time. Rules, beliefs, and even what has happened to you in the past will not keep you safe. Your emotional self is smarter and wiser than you are so you need to listen to her and follow her for guidance. Your little girl, who is afraid, is in touch with her body, feelings, emotions, instincts, intuition, and wounds.

Since 1976 I have successfully helped women and men unlearn their habitual knee jerk reactions in life situations due to sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. To be successful you must heal the original wound completely and totally. You cannot heal emotional wounds sort of, partially, or almost. You have to heal your original trauma so the wound is no longer a gaping hole.

Often therapists and clients who do inner child work do not complete the job. For your emotional wounds to be healed you must know what is scary in the original situation, this is your real fear. There could be several traumatic situations and real fears that need to be healed. You must deal with any real fear until the fear is no longer scary.

In addition, you must know how to protect yourself and take care of yourself now, and in the future, concerning your fears. This means you need to get additional training, therapy, education, and practice in taking care of yourself in new and different ways. Until these skills are securely in place, and able to protect you, you are not emotionally safe and physically secure.

If the adult part of you does not have a solid, loving, daily relationship with your emotional self there is no reason your inner child would feel safe and secure. You cannot fool her into thinking she is safe and secure with any belief, information or advice. If you do not have the courage, strength and necessary skills to protect her, she is not safe and secure.

Your inner child can feel you and he knows when you are able and willing to protect him and keep him safe and secure. He also knows when you will betray, judge, neglect, and ignore him. Your emotional self is the one you must find, love, and follow in order to heal your wounds.

Therefore, I suspect that your emotional self knows she is not safe because your authentic self is not taking care of her and protecting her from her real fears. Look and see how your judgmental self is relating to your little girl, who is scared, right this minute.

To be successful in overcoming anxiety naturally you must be able to take care of yourself now and in the future when you become afraid. You must learn new ways to protect your little girl before she can relax and feel emotionally safe and physically secure.

Write me and tell me the topics you want to know more about. If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share your holistic psychology newsletter with friends, family, and colleagues. Tell them to sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com

=========================

FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you do not own the three-hour “Opening the Heart” audio series, order it now. The first hour of audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio every day to learn how to feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and “When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing guidance at your fingertips 24 hours a day. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order “Opening the Heart” before Sunday, May, 24 and get the ebook, worth $19.97 for free. The written words have a different impact on you.
Words reach the left brain and help overcome its resistance!

=========================

ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Become more self-confident by adding courage to your life. Learn the skills you need to take better care of yourself effectively and gracefully. Assertiveness Training is essential and you must keep studying and practicing assertiveness throughout your life. If you have a local course, take it. If you have already taken a local course take this home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” as a refresher course. If you have never taken an AT course, take this home study course and get started! forty—seven page manual and over six hours of live audio instructions and coaching. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence. I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive or passive or passive-aggressive rather than being assertive. Now I know the difference. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.”  — Kevin from the UK

GET FREE BODY AWARENESS AUDIO if you order, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” by Sunday, May 24 worth $29.97, Get a free copy of “Hear Your Body Talking”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

If you already own “Hear Your Body Talking” pick another holistic psychology audio at: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

=============================

NEED HELP WITH GRIEF? Loss a pet, mother or child? If you are interested in a four-session grief group on the phone this summer, “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” let me know. You get the support and help you need to keep moving forward with your grieving instead of getting stuck in depression and anxiety. If there is enough interest, I will do one or two “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” Groups during the summer. The price is $200 for four hour and fifteen minute sessions. Times and days will be decided by participants.