Category Archives: body language

How to Overcome Perfectionism? Stop Anxiety From Ruining Your Life!

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Chaos is Not Dangerous.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do you want to be perfect?
Do you find fault with people who are slow or unsure?

Perhaps you have an inner critic called “Ms. Perfect” or “Mr. Never Satisfied.” Perfectionism is a serious upper class mental health problem. Even the middle and lower classes can think being perfect has it virtues. A la the White Picket Fence Envy Syndrome of those living outside the perfect house where the perfect family live with the perfect kids and perfect jobs.

Perfect people cannot let go of control and experience colors, feelings, and emotions. Therefore, if you try to be perfect you do not enjoy vibrant moments, playful lovemaking, and heart-felt happiness. Being spontaneous, free, and joyful are rare events if you spend your time trying to be perfect.

Trying to be perfect makes you anxious and keeps you controlled. Since you are afraid of doing something wrong and bad, you severely inhibit your body and how it moves. This causes mental illness, sleepless nights, boredom, and physical diseases. Notice how much energy being perfect consumes.

Early in my career I discovered that perfect people were always afraid that if they let go of control they would be out of control. Perhaps you also need to know that when you let go of control you are not automatically in an out of control state. You may feel out of control since you are not used to chaos. Chaos is a period of time where you experience being a mess or making a mess.

If you do not have a mess or become a mess, from time to time, then you are stuck in a tiny perfect place of rigidity. Messes are part of the natural process of transformation. Chaos is not an out of control state. It is a necessary state you must accept, if you want to be successful in personal growth and make dramatic changes in your life.

Note what the scientist credited with discovering Chaos Theory, Edward Lorenz, called his paper in 1972: “Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?” Indeed it could and more. Chaos fuels personal growth, change, and transformation.

Some of you may be familiar with the ongoing story of the man in North Carolina on the CBS Evening News who is dying and finding deep meaning and purpose to his life. In March, 2015, we learned that he had tested the “butterfly effect” to see if one act of kindness in a North Carolina restaurant could go around the world. His act of kindness reached Africa.

What about you? What do you set off when you flap your wings or break free? What happens when you stop controlling yourself and create a mess? What are the results of not washing the dishes and making love instead?

We know from Chaos Theory that Mother Nature does indeed know what she is doing. Disorder, just like feeling your emotions, moves into order naturally on its own. It is safe to let go of control and enjoy the natural flow of your energy. Your natural energy flow gives you peak experiences and makes you physically stronger and mentally healthier.

On the other hand, being out of control is dangerous. Flying mental energy bolting around without awareness is dangerous. When your energy is not grounded, you are out of control. This means you need to quickly get back in your body and ground your energy so you do not hurt yourself or others.

Chaos is not dangerous. Chaos is part of nature and obeys natural laws. Go ahead and let go of control. Enjoy being an artist and free spirit, make a mess and reap the benefits of being creative and happy.

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YOUR BODY IS FOR GROUNDING! Yes, one of the three reasons you have a body is to keep your energy safe and securely grounded. Study the body awareness audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” to feel more secure letting go of control. Improve your relationship with your body for better results in relationships. Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Your body never forgets and never lies. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

Free Bonus: Order “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking,” before Monday, June 22 and pick the other personal growth audio, worth $29.97, you would love to own from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

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CONTROLLED OR OUT OF CONTROL? The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order your copy for $3.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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How to Be Heart Happy

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Happy With Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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While attending a psychology lecture during my graduate school days
at Baylor University, the professor said, “Never expect to make
people happy. Happiness has nothing to do with psychology.
Psychologists cannot make anyone happy.”

Imagine my feelings and emotions when I learned that one of the major
reasons I was studying to be a psychologist was not what I “should”
try to do or what I “could” do. Wow, was I depressed, inhibited,
insecure, and ejected after that lecture.

All this studying and reading and remembering the white, straight,
male psychological theories for nothing! If traditional psychology
could not even make people happy, what was I doing in graduate
school? Honestly, this was the closest I ever came to suicide. If
there was a button to push I might have pushed it. Or the other
option was to take off in my VW van, Sunshine, and travel the world.

Thankfully, I stayed to complete my doctorate degree because
somewhere deep inside, I knew my psychology professor was wrong. I
could be happy and I could teach others how to be happy. Happiness is
a Goddess-given right for all human beings. We deserve to be happy
and we can be happy. Genuinely, happy. Not, positive thinking happy.
Happy in the heart, happy.

Real happiness is closely related to real love. When you love
yourself, you are happy with yourself. When you are happy with
yourself, you love yourself. When you love someone else, you are
happy with the other person. When you love a plant or sunset, it
makes you happy!

To become happier start with something about yourself you love. Your
feet? Your heart? Your mind? Your ability to do something or other.
Notice a quality or behavior about yourself that you admire in
others. If you have trouble with this personal growth exercise, get
outside, objective help to discover the truth about yourself.

Next, notice how often during the day you pay attention to what you
love about yourself. Become more aware as you go through your
evenings of how many moments you spent giving yourself a little love
and emotional support. Give yourself a little love more often to feel
better more often.

Just make sure what you love about yourself is real and not your
puffed up ego or puffed up chest. I doubt you want to reinforce your
unhealthy, controlling energy, which would make your defensive body
language more obvious!

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INTERESTED IN A HEART HAPPY GROUP? Join a “Joy in Your Heart” group
on the phone to learn how to become happy and satisfied with
yourself, realistically! Being happy in the heart improves your heart
and breast health. Email me and let me know you want to experience
more vibrant moments and “Joy in Your Heart.” The small group will
run for four sessions for an hour and 15 minutes and cost $200.00.
Participants decide time and dates. Contact information at drjeanete.com

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FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you want to be a happy in the heart
listen to the “Opening the Heart” audio series. The first hour of
audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into
finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or
him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio teaches you how to
feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other
two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and
“When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing
guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day. $97.00,
money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

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OVERCOME ANXIETY NATURALLY: Learn to feel body feelings and emotional
feelings as you shift out of mental judgments into reality. Take the
effective home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to reduce the
static energy of anxiety out of your nervous system. The package includes
all you need to get started. Ten written lessons, five hours of audio
that include the Opening the Heart audio above. $199.97, money-back
guarantee.

Read more and order Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

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How to Stop Panic and Anxiety Attacks by Looking Into Your Heart

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Emotional Wounds.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader is interested in “Unlearning trauma imprints and rerouting and reprogramming the cognitive, reactive groove in your thinking. For instance, past panic attacks have been traumatic thinking I’m “going crazy,” going to faint, catastrophic thinking etc. Now whenever I have high anxiety, I have the same repetitive thoughts even though I don’t believe them anymore. It’s an old groove that I wish to reprogram.”

To successfully unlearn anything you must be certain there is no real danger involved. It would be dangerous to condition yourself to be fearless when there are so many real dangers in the world. Therefore, you must be absolutely certain, at all times, that you are emotionally safe and physically secure.

In the situation above, during an anxiety attack, you are experiencing high anxiety and repetitive thoughts. A part of you is scared and does not feel safe. You are trying to solve your anxiety problem by using your brain and it’s new, positive beliefs. This does not work.

To be effective, you must find the solution hiding out in your heart and body. “What is your emotional self really afraid of? What is her reality? What does she need from you?” It does not matter what you believe or think.

Beliefs do not help you. For example, consider the people who ran to the roof in the World Trade Center during the attacks of 9/11. Due to the in-house, safety trainings they believed they would be saved if they reached the roof. However, all of them died because there were no helicopters on the roof to save them because there was no roof to land on.

If you want to be safe, never, never trust your beliefs. They could be right or wrong at any moment in time. Rules, beliefs, and even what has happened to you in the past will not keep you safe. Your emotional self is smarter and wiser than you are so you need to listen to her and follow her for guidance. Your little girl, who is afraid, is in touch with her body, feelings, emotions, instincts, intuition, and wounds.

Since 1976 I have successfully helped women and men unlearn their habitual knee jerk reactions in life situations due to sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. To be successful you must heal the original wound completely and totally. You cannot heal emotional wounds sort of, partially, or almost. You have to heal your original trauma so the wound is no longer a gaping hole.

Often therapists and clients who do inner child work do not complete the job. For your emotional wounds to be healed you must know what is scary in the original situation, this is your real fear. There could be several traumatic situations and real fears that need to be healed. You must deal with any real fear until the fear is no longer scary.

In addition, you must know how to protect yourself and take care of yourself now, and in the future, concerning your fears. This means you need to get additional training, therapy, education, and practice in taking care of yourself in new and different ways. Until these skills are securely in place, and able to protect you, you are not emotionally safe and physically secure.

If the adult part of you does not have a solid, loving, daily relationship with your emotional self there is no reason your inner child would feel safe and secure. You cannot fool her into thinking she is safe and secure with any belief, information or advice. If you do not have the courage, strength and necessary skills to protect her, she is not safe and secure.

Your inner child can feel you and he knows when you are able and willing to protect him and keep him safe and secure. He also knows when you will betray, judge, neglect, and ignore him. Your emotional self is the one you must find, love, and follow in order to heal your wounds.

Therefore, I suspect that your emotional self knows she is not safe because your authentic self is not taking care of her and protecting her from her real fears. Look and see how your judgmental self is relating to your little girl, who is scared, right this minute.

To be successful in overcoming anxiety naturally you must be able to take care of yourself now and in the future when you become afraid. You must learn new ways to protect your little girl before she can relax and feel emotionally safe and physically secure.

Write me and tell me the topics you want to know more about. If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share your holistic psychology newsletter with friends, family, and colleagues. Tell them to sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com

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FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you do not own the three-hour “Opening the Heart” audio series, order it now. The first hour of audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio every day to learn how to feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and “When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing guidance at your fingertips 24 hours a day. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order “Opening the Heart” before Sunday, May, 24 and get the ebook, worth $19.97 for free. The written words have a different impact on you.
Words reach the left brain and help overcome its resistance!

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ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Become more self-confident by adding courage to your life. Learn the skills you need to take better care of yourself effectively and gracefully. Assertiveness Training is essential and you must keep studying and practicing assertiveness throughout your life. If you have a local course, take it. If you have already taken a local course take this home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” as a refresher course. If you have never taken an AT course, take this home study course and get started! forty—seven page manual and over six hours of live audio instructions and coaching. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence. I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive or passive or passive-aggressive rather than being assertive. Now I know the difference. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.”  — Kevin from the UK

GET FREE BODY AWARENESS AUDIO if you order, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” by Sunday, May 24 worth $29.97, Get a free copy of “Hear Your Body Talking”:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

If you already own “Hear Your Body Talking” pick another holistic psychology audio at: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

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NEED HELP WITH GRIEF? Loss a pet, mother or child? If you are interested in a four-session grief group on the phone this summer, “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” let me know. You get the support and help you need to keep moving forward with your grieving instead of getting stuck in depression and anxiety. If there is enough interest, I will do one or two “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” Groups during the summer. The price is $200 for four hour and fifteen minute sessions. Times and days will be decided by participants.

Winter Depression Treatment: Say No to Antidepressant Drugs, Use Dr. Jeanette’s ACE

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Use the ACE!
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Feeling blue? Sad? Grieving?
Feeling so heavy you cannot move?
Is the sunlight in your life missing?

It has been a long, cold winter on the East coast of the United States. The lack of sunlight and inability to get out and move makes depression a psychological state you may have fallen into without even knowing it!

I always know when I am depressing my energy when I do not listen to music. The lack of music around me is a red flag that tells me I need to be vibrating a bit higher! You also need red flags that reveal you have dropped down into some degree of depression. You need to know when you are depressing your energy and you need to know how to increase your vibration.

Let’s help you start dancing around your NYC apartment with more energy and satisfaction. Even the ski slopes in Colorado are missing all the wonderful snow that is ending up in Boston. Boo, hoo. Change can be used for personal growth and self-improvement.

I developed the ACE several years ago to help people who are stuck in depression. Depression is a numb, mental psychological state where you do not move. Depressed energy is heavy, dense, slow, black, dark, and yucky. The laws of physics take over, as they always do … and you do not move your body. You do not want to move your body. You are inert.

The laws of physics tell you that it takes an equal or greater force to move an inert object. Viola! If you want to give up your depression you must use the ACE. The ACE is an Active Conscious Effort. When you have no energy, which is the same thing as no power, you must get power from somewhere. So, use the ACE, make yourself move in some, little, successful way.

You must choose something that has an equal or greater force for you. In other words, your ACE must be totally safe, easy to do and have no anxiety involved at all. If there is any degree of anxiety, you will not do it. Your ACE must be doable. Even desirable. So choose your ACE carefully so that it is effective in moving your energy.

When I am inert, I get up and wash clothes. Or, put on some music. Or, take a walk. Or, anything that is physical. Interesting, the only depression treatment that is known to be effective, based on solid research, is physical activity. Tis true. Psychologists who do not use the laws of physics with their clients are missing the New Psychology boat.

Stop depressing your energy and get up and shake a leg. Or arm. Your ACE will keep you sane until spring. I would love to hear what ACEs are effective in helping you move your inert energy.

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STOP DEPRESSING YOUR ENERGY: The benefits of not depressing your energy are better physical, mental, and emotional health. This does not even include all the fun you have when you enjoy more vibrant moments! Everyone has some degree of learned helplessness, get in touch with yours and break free from your inhibitions. Order the one-hour holistic psychology audio $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free:”
http://www.drjeanette.com/depressionaudio.html

WINTER BLUES SPECIAL: Order “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free,” BEFORE Sunday, March 8 and get the personal growth audio “Break the Grip of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview” for FREE.

Depression and anxiety are interrelated. You do not permanently give up depression until you know how to effectively deal with your anxiety.
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Depression is easy to pick up if you read body language. Accurate body language reading is humbling, intimate, and compassionate. My approach warns you against using formulas and other peoples’ “postures.” This body language audio was made for holistic health professionals and is rarely available for sale. Cost is $47.00, money-back guarantee.

Order the Introduction to Body Language audio:
http://www.drjeanette.com/bodylanguageaudio.html

WINTER SPECIAL: Order the rarely-available body language audio BEFORE Sunday, March 8 and get the one-hour “3 Reason You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” worth $29.97 for FREE! Must mention The Vibrant Moment during check out to get the free audio. http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

If you already own Hear Your Body Talking audio pick another personal growth audio from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

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ENERGY HEALING IN COLORADO. I will be doing private in-person energy healing sessions in Glenwood Springs, CO from Feb. 17-March 18, 2015. Sense and feel the subtle energy inside of you and in your energy field. Immediately feel like a sensible, present, more alive person. If interested, email me at drjeanette@drjeanette.com or Call 970-945-1089.

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Learn to Read Body Language, Feel Subtle Energy

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel Subtle Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do colors jump out at you?
Do you smell odors others miss?
Do you know the outcome of events before it happens?

There are many differences between a holistic psychologist and a traditional psychologist. For a complete list of the differences between the old and new psychology check out the definition of the New Psychology here: http://www.drjeanette.com/newpsychology.html

One of the major differences is a holistic psychologist works with all of you. Working with all of you is what makes your psychological transformation and therapeutic process “wholistic.” This means your mind, body, and spirit are always included in how your problems are defined, addressed, and solved.

For example, if you already feel subtle energy, a holistic psychologist would teach you how to use your highly sensitive nature to move forward faster. If you did not trust your perceptions, I would teach you to feel the energy difference between your intuition and anxiety so you learn to trust and use your inner knowings to increase your self-esteem and be more successful.

After all, your intuition and inner knowing have not been damaged by your past learning history. So, no matter how much discouragement, neglect, and abuse you have experienced, you can learn to tap into your ability to sense, feel, taste, hear, see, and perceive the information and data that exists in your world.

Subtle energy means any energy that you do not normally notice. There are multitudes of inner and outer subtle energies you can become aware of and use to your advantage. Just sitting on a park bench with a completely relaxed body can expand your awareness of subtle energy if you pay attention to your feelings.

You can feel the tension in your body coming and going as you register your different anxiety levels as people come and go. You could feel and see the fear in others as they walk past you as you consciously improve your ability to read body language. You can even notice a harmful energy you need to get up and walk away from.

Being relaxed is essential if you want to sense more subtle energies. Like a good actor, you must relax your body in order to access your colorful emotions, your physical feelings, and the many other subtle realties that exist in your world.

Take time to relax wherever you are, and sense more of the subtle energy in your world. Relaxing gives you more vibrant moments, which lead to increased health and wellness, peace of mind, and good fortune.

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: If you want to be more effective and successful in your personal and professional relationships, learn to read body language. Accurate body language reading is humbling, intimate, and compassionate. My approach warns you against using formulas and other peoples’ “postures.” This body language audio was made for holistic health professionals and is rarely available for sale. Cost is $47.00, money-back guarantee.

Order the Introduction to Body Language audio:
http://www.drjeanette.com/bodylanguageaudio.html

WINTER SPECIAL: Order the rarely-available body language audio before March 1 and get the one-hour “3 Reason You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” worth $29.97 for FREE. Must mention The Vibrant Moment during check out to get free audio. http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

If you already own Hear Your Body Talking audio pick another personal growth audio from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

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NOT TRUSTING YOUR PERCEPTIONS? You get a feeling in your gut and discount it. You have a dream about being sick and do not take heed. Get the professional help you need in learning how to accept, develop, and use your highly sensitive nature to your advantage. Order the special report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” 31-page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

Order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

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Mental Health Advice: Trust the Truth, Not False Beliefs

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DJ:CO

 

Follow Dr. Doris Jeanette on Twitter!

 

 

Can’t you just feel the strong sunshine in Colorado?

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Trust the Truth.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Where are you stuck?
Can you tell the difference between false beliefs and truth?

Frequently, in holistic psychology sessions with my clients, I sense and feel a woman or man to be in a physical state of energy that is different from where he or she thinks they are. This is the reason it is so reliable and effective to use energy as the basis of the new, holistic psychology. The truth is easy to know when you learn to read and sense the information in physical and emotional energy.

For example, I hear a very harmonious male voice telling me that he is anxious and fearful and had a terrible week. His words do not fit his energy. His mental perception does not match up with his physical and emotional truth.

Or, I hear a woman tell me that she is doing great, everything is fine, and she sounds very depressed and miserable. Her mental perception has no basis in reality. Her energy is down and out, no matter what her thoughts are telling her, or what her words say to me.

In both these cases, the ego energy is reversing reality so the client does not know the truth. The man’s ego energy is telling him a false belief about his success in the hope of keeping him in control. The woman’s ego is telling her a false belief about her lack of success in the hope of keeping her in control.

You are full of false beliefs you learned from religions, governments, and parents. These false beliefs keep you stuck and controlled. You must know the difference between a false belief and the truth if you want to achieve self-esteem, be successful, and enjoy life.

You cannot stand in false beliefs and be successful. Only when you stand in reality can you manifest what you want in life. If you are a psychologist, coach, or therapist you need to know how to read energy so you teach your clients how to read energy. I teach my clients to read energy so they know when their ego is reversing reality and when they are standing in their truth.

Armed with this knowledge, they have the means with which they can become effective and successful. When you discover a reversal of reality that is fooling you, rejoice! You can learn how to break free from your false belief so you stand in your truth.

No matter what your truth is, you move forward immediately becoming stronger and more self-confident.

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REVERSING REALITY? This reversal of reality is often found in highly sensitive people who have been conditioned to distrust their perceptions. Could this be you or a loved one? Get the professional help you need in sorting through the confusing process of accepting, developing and using your highly sensitive gifts to your advantage. Order the special report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” 31-page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

Order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/HSP2.html

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YOUR BODY DOES NOT LIE! The way to know the truth is to trust your body. Your body energy always tells the truth. The one-hour audio, “3 Reason You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking,” teaches you how to benefit from listening to your body so you become empowered by standing in your success. Cost is $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Order “3 Reason You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking:”
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

WINTER SPECIAL: Order the hour audio, “3 Reason You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” and get the special report, “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person” for free. Must mention The Vibrant Moment during check out to get free report.

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ENERGY HEALING IN COLORADO. I will be offering private in-person energy healing sessions in Glenwood Springs, CO from Feb. 17-March 18, 2015. Sense and feel the difference between your false beliefs and the energy of truth. Learn to become more effective and successful. If interested, contact information at drjeanette.com

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Relationship Advice: Learn to Read Energy and Look Deeper into Your Heart

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Look Deeper.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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I received a question this week from a reader about how to deal with impatience and irritability.

How often do you get impatient? And with whom?
How often to you get irritable? And with whom?

It is always helpful to notice the energy of what you are experiencing first before you take action steps to change the energy. Using energy as a feedback tool is what sets the New Psychology apart from all the other psychological approaches. If you want to know more about who you are and what you are experiencing you must become more aware of your energy.

Are you really impatient or do you just think you are impatient?

Sometimes, the sneaky ego tells you that you are impatient and you are not. I notice this quite often with my clients. For example, this is what I hear, “Please, help me today with my meanness. I was so impatient with my mother this week.”

Because I read energy, even on the phone, I immediately distrusted my clients view of herself being “mean.” My client is highly sensitive, so, I asked her to tell me more details about what happened and what she did that was so unkind to her mother.

Sure enough, after I heard the whole story, it was clear she had not been impatient and mean with her mother. She was reserving reality. Her mother had been insensitive to her.

It is conceivable that you have the same misperception about your behavior. Perhaps you do not really feel impatient but think that you do. Maybe you are not behaving in an irritable way with people. Instead of impatience, you may feel resentment, anger, fear, or hurt.

Maybe something really important is going on underneath the energy you call impatience. Perchance your irritability is a sign you are not taking care of yourself. Could it be you need to be more assertive?

So, the first thing you need to do is notice the energy of what you are experiencing. It is mental or physical? Or emotional? Is it too fast, too slow? Is it weak, strong? Dark or light? Notice the weight, color, and texture. Are you in your ego or in your heart?

Learning to read energy is an essential skill for a holistic psychologist, therapist, coach, parent, and successful person. Ok, you are paying attention to your energy. Now what?

Next, you must look underneath the surface energy. Look deep into your heart. You want to see, hear, smell, taste, feel what is going on with your emotional self. You do not want to accept what your head and brain tell you without getting the concrete data you need to know your truth.

You want to feel the authentic energy directly so you know what is really going on inside of you. You could be upset about something that is really occurring. What if you became aware of an unhealthy relationship dynamic that you need to do something about?

That was the case with my client who thought she was mean to her mother. Underneath her perception that she was being mean to her mother was a mother who was judgmental toward her daughter’s new, healthy, assertive behaviors.

When you look under the surface you find your inner truths. Also, you learn how you are defined, controlled, confused, and manipulated by others. Most people and parents do not consciously define, control, confuse, and manipulate you. They are just passing on what they learned from their parents.

Nevertheless, it certainly empowers you if you know you are letting others define, control, confuse, and manipulate you! Then, you can learn to be assertive which results in healthier relationships and increased self-confidence. Next week, I will talk more about how to deal with impatience if you are really being impatient.

Here is a big hug to you for reading The Vibrant Moment. Please share your free holistic psychology newsletter with friends and family interested in being more aware, healthy, and happy: http://www.drjeanette.com

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HIGHLY SENSITIVE? Reversing reality in terms of who is being insensitive is a common misperception with highly sensitive people. Instead of feeling bad about your sensitive nature, get in touch with how you let others define you and cause you to doubt your inner knowing. Order the special report, “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” 31-page PDF file, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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NEED ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING? Feel better and empowered just by reading the 46 page manual in the home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” After you listen to the first audio lesson, you know more about how to overcome the blocks that stop you from being more assertive and effective in relationships. Order before the holidays for more enjoyable family gatherings. 46 pages, six hours of audio, $149.97, money-back guarantee.

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LEARN TO READ ENERGY AND BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class, “Say Goodbye to Being Fooled” to improve your self-esteem and effectiveness in relationships. Starts in mid-January 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Email me and let me know you are interested. One-hour class weekly, one-hour peer coaching weekly, $300.00.

Call me at 215-732-6197.

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Mental Health Advice: Learn to Read Body Language

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Read body language.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Several years ago, my mother was preparing her famous southern scallop potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner when I noticed she severely tightened up her lips as she was pouring the potatoes into the baking dish.

As soon as I saw the body language of my mother I realized where I learned to tighten my lips. Not only did I see myself in her, I realized her tight lips were trying to control the outcome of her potatoes! Never had I thought about control being a factor when cooking.

In the 1970’s I received referrals from the Beck Institute at the University of Pennsylvania. While looking for new ways to help people who did not benefit from psychotherapy or CBT, I begin to actively use body language and body awareness with my new referrals. This is when I discovered the difference between control and power. Read last week’s The Vibrant Moment for the definition and difference between control and power:  Relationship Advice: Choose Power, not Control

When I taught my clients to notice their body, face, lips, feet, stomach, and what their physical form was doing at any point in time, they were much more likely to give up their denial, exaggeration, and defensive behaviors quickly without resistance. Noticing when they controlled themselves and when they did not was much more effective that trying to change their negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

This is because the tension in your body gives you the feedback that you are in control and not in your power. You can learn to feel how control feels in your body. You may or may not notice when your body is tense. Many people do not. This is the reason taking body language classes, workshops, and home study courses help you become more body conscious.

Also, use mirrors and photographs. Mirrors and photographs help you become more aware if you slow down and look. Do not throw away the photos you do not like. For example, recently a stranger was using my Nikon camera to photograph a family holiday card for me. I was directing her as she was taking the photo. At first, I did not think she was clicking all the way through because the light did not flash.

When I looked at the photos I could see she had indeed taken them correctly. I could also see how I looked when I did not think she was taking them correctly! You should see my face. Unattractive, screwed up and tense. And tight, especially my lips. Yes, of course, my lips.

So, my control showed up for me to see once again. Did my tight face help make the photos better? Did my mother’s tight lips make her potatoes taste better. Nope. Control never makes anything better.

Remembering how I looked in control sure reminds me to relax my lips more often throughout the day.

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CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

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BODY AWARENESS HOME STUDY COURSE: It is your Inner Critic who controls you and makes you anxious. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course leads you into more body awareness so you become strong enough to throw your inner critic off your chest. Then you breath and feel much more relaxed being in your power. $149.97, 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are doing and feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

Call:  215-732-6197.

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Self Confidence Tip: Choose Power and Forget Control

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The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Choose Power.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

When I first noticed I was nervous before a certain client arrived for our session, I became very curious as to the reason I would experience anxiety with her and not any of my other clients. My client always dressed perfectly, had lots of money, a good job, and had no problem except for losing her partner.

Exploring the reason I was nervous about meeting with this client lead to one of my first major breakthroughs as a young psychologist. I discovered the physical difference between control and power. Most people, and many psychologists, are fooled by the man or woman who exhibits a great deal of control.

In some circles, controlling your behavior is highly praised and valued in the USA and Europe. In my early psychotherapy groups, I often had to deal with some members putting the controlled person in the group up on a pedestal. As a result, they felt “inferior” to the person who was in control.

Many highly controlled people are functional in the world because they are rewarded and reinforced for being “in control.” Even current psychological treatments in 2014 focus on controlling your anger, having to be positive, and thinking your way to happiness.

However, since I was using relaxation therapy and desensitization therapy back in the late 1970’s to reduce anxiety in sexual situations as a sex therapist, I knew that control was never functional in the bedroom and in matters of the heart. Control of any sort immediately kills emotional intimacy and delicious lovemaking.

As I felt my anxiety about the client who was about to arrive in my office, I suddenly realized my client was in control. She put herself on a pedestal, she was perfect. As a result, she was unpleasant to be around. I was not looking forward to seeing her.

When I realized she was in control, I knew she was highly anxious. Knowing she was anxious make it easy to be compassion toward her so I could then help her relax her body so she could feel more comfortable being herself.

The bottom-line is, the more anxious you are, the more controlling you are. The more relaxed you are, the more powerful you are.

Reading body language is extremely helpful. A tense body is different from a relaxed body. Power and control cannot exist in your body at the same time. You are either in a state of power or control. One physical state blocks out the other.

You get to choose power or control every moment of your life.

Real power is the healthy energy that is measured by physicists as voltage. The more voltage, the more power. When you are in a state of power you radiate good energy around you and your resistance to disease is high.

Power is the vital energy that gives you vibrant moments. Notice what, when, where, and how you control yourself. Then, choose to be powerful by loving yourself as you are in the moment. Give up seeking to be in control.

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CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you the feedback about whether you are in control or power. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

If I do not answer your email, call me at 215-732-6197.

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