Mental Health Advice: Learn to Read Body Language

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Read body language.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Several years ago, my mother was preparing her famous southern scallop potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner when I noticed she severely tightened up her lips as she was pouring the potatoes into the baking dish.

As soon as I saw the body language of my mother I realized where I learned to tighten my lips. Not only did I see myself in her, I realized her tight lips were trying to control the outcome of her potatoes! Never had I thought about control being a factor when cooking.

In the 1970’s I received referrals from the Beck Institute at the University of Pennsylvania. While looking for new ways to help people who did not benefit from psychotherapy or CBT, I begin to actively use body language and body awareness with my new referrals. This is when I discovered the difference between control and power. Read last week’s The Vibrant Moment for the definition and difference between control and power:  Relationship Advice: Choose Power, not Control

When I taught my clients to notice their body, face, lips, feet, stomach, and what their physical form was doing at any point in time, they were much more likely to give up their denial, exaggeration, and defensive behaviors quickly without resistance. Noticing when they controlled themselves and when they did not was much more effective that trying to change their negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

This is because the tension in your body gives you the feedback that you are in control and not in your power. You can learn to feel how control feels in your body. You may or may not notice when your body is tense. Many people do not. This is the reason taking body language classes, workshops, and home study courses help you become more body conscious.

Also, use mirrors and photographs. Mirrors and photographs help you become more aware if you slow down and look. Do not throw away the photos you do not like. For example, recently a stranger was using my Nikon camera to photograph a family holiday card for me. I was directing her as she was taking the photo. At first, I did not think she was clicking all the way through because the light did not flash.

When I looked at the photos I could see she had indeed taken them correctly. I could also see how I looked when I did not think she was taking them correctly! You should see my face. Unattractive, screwed up and tense. And tight, especially my lips. Yes, of course, my lips.

So, my control showed up for me to see once again. Did my tight face help make the photos better? Did my mother’s tight lips make her potatoes taste better. Nope. Control never makes anything better.

Remembering how I looked in control sure reminds me to relax my lips more often throughout the day.

=================================

CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

=====================================

BODY AWARENESS HOME STUDY COURSE: It is your Inner Critic who controls you and makes you anxious. The Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course leads you into more body awareness so you become strong enough to throw your inner critic off your chest. Then you breath and feel much more relaxed being in your power. $149.97, 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

=========================================

READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are doing and feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

Call:  215-732-6197.

=======================================

Self Confidence Tip: Choose Power and Forget Control

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Choose Power.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

When I first noticed I was nervous before a certain client arrived for our session, I became very curious as to the reason I would experience anxiety with her and not any of my other clients. My client always dressed perfectly, had lots of money, a good job, and had no problem except for losing her partner.

Exploring the reason I was nervous about meeting with this client lead to one of my first major breakthroughs as a young psychologist. I discovered the physical difference between control and power. Most people, and many psychologists, are fooled by the man or woman who exhibits a great deal of control.

In some circles, controlling your behavior is highly praised and valued in the USA and Europe. In my early psychotherapy groups, I often had to deal with some members putting the controlled person in the group up on a pedestal. As a result, they felt “inferior” to the person who was in control.

Many highly controlled people are functional in the world because they are rewarded and reinforced for being “in control.” Even current psychological treatments in 2014 focus on controlling your anger, having to be positive, and thinking your way to happiness.

However, since I was using relaxation therapy and desensitization therapy back in the late 1970’s to reduce anxiety in sexual situations as a sex therapist, I knew that control was never functional in the bedroom and in matters of the heart. Control of any sort immediately kills emotional intimacy and delicious lovemaking.

As I felt my anxiety about the client who was about to arrive in my office, I suddenly realized my client was in control. She put herself on a pedestal, she was perfect. As a result, she was unpleasant to be around. I was not looking forward to seeing her.

When I realized she was in control, I knew she was highly anxious. Knowing she was anxious make it easy to be compassion toward her so I could then help her relax her body so she could feel more comfortable being herself.

The bottom-line is, the more anxious you are, the more controlling you are. The more relaxed you are, the more powerful you are.

Reading body language is extremely helpful. A tense body is different from a relaxed body. Power and control cannot exist in your body at the same time. You are either in a state of power or control. One physical state blocks out the other.

You get to choose power or control every moment of your life.

Real power is the healthy energy that is measured by physicists as voltage. The more voltage, the more power. When you are in a state of power you radiate good energy around you and your resistance to disease is high.

Power is the vital energy that gives you vibrant moments. Notice what, when, where, and how you control yourself. Then, choose to be powerful by loving yourself as you are in the moment. Give up seeking to be in control.

=================================

CONTROL OR POWER? Learn the difference between power and control. My book, HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love teaches you in the first section the difference between control and power. $3.99

Order from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

=====================================

READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you the feedback about whether you are in control or power. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.

If I do not answer your email, call me at 215-732-6197.

======================================

Self Esteem Tip: Say Something Nice to Yourself

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Say kind words out loud.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

You are important and you matter.

How many times a day do you say something kind, warm, and encouraging to yourself? Most of you did not learn to say loving, positive, supportive words to yourself because your parents did not model self-loving behavior for you.

You learn how to relate to yourself based on how your parents related to themselves. Even if your parents did their best to be kind to you, you learned to relate to yourself based on the behavior they modeled for you.

My mother was kind to me. However, she yelled mean, nasty things to herself whenever she made a mistake. As a result, I learned to yell mean, nasty things to myself when I made a mistake.

What did you learn from your mother? Father? Teachers?

Unfortunately, self-judgment, self- criticism and self-rejection are universal mental health problems. However, the good news is, since self-judgment is a learned behavior, you can unlearn this unhelpful behavior.

Early in my career, I noticed that I attacked myself viciously when I make a mistake in my professional practice. If I made a mistake about the time of an appointment, I would be mean to myself for over two weeks without any reprise. It was as if I had committed the ultimate sin of all sins and could not be forgiven!

As I brought this unconscious nasty behavior up to my conscious mind, I realized how unhelpful self-judgment was to my well-being, self-confidence, and mental health. Making myself miserable and destroying my self-confidence was not what I wanted to do to myself.

So, I put into practice what I was teaching my clients. I began to be kinder, more understanding and patient with myself when I made a mistake. The ultimate truth is, when you make a mistake, is when you desperately need love not judgment!

Besides, you get much better results when you are kind to yourself than you do when you are mean to yourself. When I was kinder to myself, I was less likely to make mistakes in general because I was more relaxed and comfortable. In addition, I was more fun to be around because I was not making other people wrong and bad all the time when they made a mistake.

Unkind words projected out on others are the natural outcome of self-judgment. If you are being unkind to others or think others are being unkind to you, notice how you are relating to yourself. Your nastiness is occurring in your own head or lurking in your unconscious!

Being unkind is not the same thing as being honest and assertive. Meanness has a very different energy from assertiveness. Highly sensitive people can feel the barbs that come with nasty, attacking energy. Attacks on yourself or others are never justified–no matter what.

So, notice the words you say to yourself.

Bring up your nasty comments to your conscious mind so they do not hurt you anymore. Own your meanness and stop projecting it out on others. Taking responsibility for your thoughts is the only way you can unlearn this unkind way of relating to yourself.

Next, shift into saying kind, positive, and loving words to yourself out loud. This quickly improves your mood, day, and self-confidence. Your cells smile and your whole mind body benefits.

====================================

HEAR KIND WORDS IN YOUR EARS: My comforting voice puts kind, loving words in your head and psyche. Use anytime you want to feel better about yourself and relax. The “Opening the Heart” audio, models for you how to be kinder and more loving toward yourself. Receive comfort and learn to be kinder toward yourself as you take an inner journey into your solar plexus and heart. 3 hours, mp3, CDs, $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

CLICK TO HEAR THE AUDIO SAMPLE: http://www.drjeanette.com/feelingsweb.mp3

==================================

STOP JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS: The “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course helps you become conscious of how mean you are being to yourself with awareness exercises. You learn how your attacks on yourself make you anxious. The 10 written lessons models self-loving behavior so you stop being so nasty to yourself. PLUS you get the “Opening the Heart,” “Tame Your Thoughts” and “Break the Grip of Anxiety: An Overview” audio all for $149.97, money-back guaranteed.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

================================

FALL BONUS: Order the “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course before Sunday, October 5 and get a free audio mp3 worth $29.97. “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment” is a one-hour personal growth tele-seminar worth $29.97. To get free audio you must mention The Vibrant Moment when you check out.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

=====================================

Stress Management Tip: Become Emotionally Healthy by Feeling Your Feelings

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Handle Stress Effectively.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you want to handle stress with more ease and grace?

Tina Gilbertson, says in her book, Constructive Wallowing, “For all of us, how we deal with our feelings has an impact on how quickly we’re able to bounce back from setbacks large and small.” Sometimes life throws us difficult events. Whether it is a wet basement, fleas on your pets, or a mother nearing the end of her life, you handle these events much more effectively when you handle your feelings in an emotionally healthy fashion.

What is an emotionally healthy fashion?

When you allow yourself to feel your feelings instead of making them wrong or bad, you become emotionally healthy. So, no matter what you feel, “Feel, baby feel!” This emotional health fact, is one of the major reasons Talk Therapy is so limited.

Stress happens often to everyone. When you do not feel good, you do not need to talk about your feelings. Instead, you need someone to teach you how to feel your feelings so you move forward toward the light at the end of the tunnel.

You need to learn how to move through the realities of life without being overwhelmed by the energy of stress. This will help you feel better, and you become an emotionally healthy role model for your children, relatives, and friends.

Therefore, the best use of your time, energy, and money is to learn how to feel your body feelings and emotional feelings as they occur. Do not put your emotional needs on the back burner. Feeling your feelings is the successful way out of any stressful event.

Here is a list of things you can do to help you feel your feelings.

1. Write out your feelings without censorship.
2. Dance how you feel.
3. Take boxing lessons.
4. Take an acting class.
5. Draw how you feel.
6. Listen to music, especially opera.
7. Dress up for Halloween as needed.

It does not matter what you feel, what matters is admitting the truth about HOW you feel. You may feel like the Wicked Witch of the West or the Fairy God Mother. Whether you are the Tin Man without a heart or the Lion without courage, admit the raw truth of how you feel deep down inside.

Let your body tell you the truth about how you feel. Your body knows the truth, it cannot lie. If you stop your bully brain from controlling you, your body automatically reveals how you feel. Let go of control and allow your body to express how you truly feel.

When you admit the truth of how weak you feel deep down inside, a marvelous event occurs. You gain more strength, courage, and emotional health. Tis true. Mother Nature is not a fool.

You must fall down into the deep unconscious of your truths, to rise up to the wonderful person you are.  Try being the person you hate the most for a day and own this part of you. Start planning your Halloween costume based on the part of you, you find distasteful.

What happens when you admit unconscious truths?

You suddenly handle stress more effectively. You do not get stuck in the mess of your own mental judgments making you a bad person. You heal some past wounds. You reach the light at the end of the darkness.

Breaking free, you join the human race. You are no longer better or worse than another.

====================================

BODY FEELINGS: Move forward and become more self-confident. Your body knows how you feel. All you have to do is hear what your body is screaming at you. For better physical, mental, and emotional health stop rejecting and blaming your body. Instead, love your body and let it tell you the truth about how you feel. Study the one-hour audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking.” CD or mp3, $29.97, Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

=====================================

BECOME EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY! Assertiveness Training is often misunderstood. It is an excellent way to feel your feelings and learn how to express your feelings in healthy ways that are not passive or aggressive. Take the home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” A 31-page manual PLUS over 8 hours of audio coaching with real people and real problems.

Read more and order your Assertiveness Training Course:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

=========================================

Feeling Guilty? Live a Guilt Free Life and Keep Loving, Healthy Relationships

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Say No To Guilt!
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

How often do you find yourself in this situation?

I am using my client, J’s example of guilt, because it is such a typical and difficult situation. Here is the email question I received this morning:

“My cousin, I’ve been close with, married a man a few years ago that I really don’t vibe with. My husband feels similarly. I’m trying to stay close to her without being very involved with him. She also has a young daughter just 6 months younger than my toddler.

They just bought a house and are moving farther away. It’s about 2.5 hrs. They invited us to a housewarming/birthday party.” I declined as politely as possible … trying not to give much reason.

Now my aunt and cousin are dissatisfied and I can feel it strongly. I made the decision because – I don’t really want to go.
– There are many other things I’m trying to focus on.
– I was invited to a friend’s child bday party I want to go to.

I already went way out of my way to sit through the most horrible wedding I’ve ever been too … I don’t want to experience that again and neither does my husband. It’s hard to explain . . .

Now I feel they’re “not happy” with my feelings … and I feel like it’s a lose/lose. If I go I won’t be happy … if I don’t go I’ll feel bad. After all I think *these are family – the people most here for me when my mom was sick. I feel bad. I want them to know I care, but I also want to care about myself.

Give me your wonderful guidance and wisdom please. Already listening to the guilt audio, but I need more specific help.

Thank you!”

What would you do?

This is definitely a guilt trap. By that I mean my client will feel bad, no matter what choice she makes. It is a lose-lose situation. The energy of a guilt trap is sticky, pulls at you, and makes it almost impossible to get out.

J is no push over. She was able to be assertive and say, “No,” the first time around. She has taken the Assertiveness Training home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” studied the self-help audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment,” and has been working with me privately for over a year.

J is clear about her feelings, yet, she is still stuck in the guilt trap. This is what I wrote back: The goal is to get out of the guilt trap and follow your authentic feelings without being passive or aggressive toward the people involved.

Take three deep breaths and intent to be true to yourself. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only your way out of this guilt trap. You want your choice to be the best choice you can make given the situation. You must live with whatever you choose.

If I already had another invitation that I had accepted I would tell my cousin the truth. If it was too far to drive back and forth in a day or night with two small children, I could tell my cousin the truth. If I could set up a fun trip and stay overnight and include the housewarming without feeling resentful, I would.

You want to transform this guilt trap into a win-win by choosing the pathway that creates the least amount of resentment for you. You may feel bad about not pleasing your aunt. You may call yourself, “Selfish and unkind.” That you can live through and transform.

Resentment, on the other hand, eats at you and makes you physically sick. Resentment permanently destroys relationships. Therefore, you want to behave in ways that do not make you physically sick and maintains an honest relationship over the years with your aunt and cousin.

Good luck in following your heart. Be aware of your feelings and reactions as you feel your way through this difficult situation. You can learn what you need to know, so the next guilt trap might not imprison you at all!

========================================

STOP BUILDING UP RESENTMENT: Assertiveness Training is the most effective way to learn how to say no to resentment and requests that are not in your best interest. Take the home study course,“Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” You get a 46-page manual, PLUS six lessons, over eight hours of audio instruction and live coaching with students, $149.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive rather than being assertive. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.” — Kevin from the UK

FREE BONUS: Order the Assertiveness Training home study course above and get the one-hour self-help audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment,” for free. Worth $29.97.
http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

=====================================

FEELING GUILTY? The guilt busting audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment,” explains how learned mental judgments create guilt and deliver guilt to others. The session explains the energy of guilt and offers the listener healthy ways to replace guilty behavior with effective communication skills for more loving relationships. One-hour personal growth audio, $29.97. Money back guarantee.

Order the personal growth audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment for $29.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

=========================================

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS: Study the eBook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love.” Buy at Amazon for $3.99 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AO7DU2E

Read more:
http://www.drjeanette.com/mendbrokenheart.html

=====================================

Relationship Advice: Trust What Works and Who Shows Up

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Trust What Works.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you trust your intuition?
Do you trust other people?
Do you trust your ego?

Let us explore what is trustable and what is not trustable. You cannot trust something that is not solid, firm and secure. On the other hand you can trust any energy that is solid, firm and secure.

For example, you can trust gravity. Gravity is a law on planet earth and this energy is solid, firm and secure. You will not go flying off into space if you relax, let go, and sink into gravity. Neither will you go flying off into space if you are tense, controlling, and pulling up away from gravity! Gravity holds you securely here whether you trust her or not!

This is the kind of reality I like to put my trust in. I trust what works instead of what does not work. Every day I pay attention to my relationship with gravity. I trust gravity and let my body relax, sink into her, and trust her to protect me and keep me safe. Teaching others how to do the same is the fundamental reason my Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course is effective.

On the other hand, I do not trust beliefs, theories, thoughts, and words. Beliefs have flimsy, unreliable energy, which are often based on false information. Trusting beliefs results in unsure footing. Your ego is based on false beliefs, rules, shoulds, and should nots. Therefore, your ego is not trustable. Neither is anyone else’s!

What do you trust?

If you do not have something or someone you trust, you are distrustful. Distrustful people have anxiety, depression, paranoia, and other mental health problems. In addition, distrustful people have trouble making love, being open, and vulnerable with other people. Therefore, distrustful people do not have fulfilling and satisfying relationships.

Paranoia is the only mental health problem that my holistic psychology approach has a low success rate in. This is because paranoid people do not trust anything or anyone. To get the help you need in unlearning your past conditioning, you must trust your holistic psychologist. Without some degree of trust, no one can lead you out of the darkness.

Developing trust is essential for good mental health. The more you trust, the happier and healthier you will be. Trust takes you into the moment and into the future where all is well. Trust is the foundation that you stand on to shine and flourish.

My suggestion is to start with one energy you trust. You must find something or someone to completely place your trust in. Nature was the place I started. Trees were easy to trust for me. From there I branched out into many other energies I count on and depend on.

Trust any energy that is solid, firm and secure. Do not trust energy that is flimsy, weak and insecure.

========================================

TRUST YOUR BODY: Your physical body cannot and does not lie. Trust your body and love your body for more self-confidence and better holistic health. Learn how to listen to your body and trust the information it knows that your brain does not know. One-hour tele-seminar, “Hear Your Body Talking,” $29.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

======================================

TRUST ASSERTIVENESS: You cannot trust your controlling ego; it will be passive and aggressive. Trust your authentic self to stand up for yourself. Assertiveness Training is the most effective way to become more solid, firm and secure. “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” is a 46-page manual, PLUS six lessons, over eight hours of audio instruction and coaching, $149.97, guaranteed.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive rather than being assertive. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.” — Kevin from the UK

=========================================

DEPRESSION HELP: Learn more about depression, how you learned to depress your energy and solutions to being depressed. Listen to the seminar on “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free.” One-hour audio, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/depressionaudio.html

=========================================

Depression Help: Holistic Psychology Teaches You to Stop Depressing Energy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Notice Your Energy Flow.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

====================

Do you have the energy you need to enjoy life?
Do you get excited at least once a day?
Do you suffer from depression?

I often talk about anxiety. The reason I pay more attention to anxiety than anything else is because I consider anxiety to be the source problem for mental illness, emotional distress and poor physical health.

When you are anxious you:
1.  Behave in ways that are ineffective in getting what you want.
2.  Experience emotional distress.
2.  Tighten up your physical body, which creates disease.

What About Depression?

Some of you may suffer from depression, have family members who tend to get depressed or find yourself without the energy you need to experience joy and excitement in everyday life. Thus, I thought it would be helpful to directly address depression to give you my holistic psychology point of view.

Depression can be very mild such as when you find yourself bored while living an ordinary and mundane life. Or, depression can be severe enough that you do not want to get out of bed. Traditional psychology views depression and anxiety as separate categories, each with their multiple diagnoses.

As my holistic psychology approach became more energy-based I began to define depression as when you do not move fast enough. Anxiety is when you move too fast. In contrast, the definition of good mental health is when you are moving in your authentic, natural, energy flow.

Your natural energy flow is extremely healthy for your mind and body. When you let your energy flow naturally, you have those vibrant moments I love to share with you. When you move too fast or too slow you block the wonderful, exciting moments of being fully alive in your body and in space.

Depressing your joy, excitement, and exuberance is a form of depression. You may not look as depressed as the person who receives the label depression but you are not fully allowing your energy to flow into joy, excitement, and exuberance.

After years of not being happy with my degree of success helping depressed clients, I added body and energy awareness to my approach. With this new way of teaching clients how to give up depression, one of my severely depressed clients gradually, step by step, stopped depressing her energy.

We were both thrilled. She was having fun, getting into clowning, starting to set up a new private practice, and enjoying sex with her husband. She was no longer depressed. Her real self came out and she was enjoying life.

We both thought depression was no longer a concern. A few weeks before opening her new office, she suddenly slipped back into depression. From one week to the next, she moved out of being alive in her body to being numb and depressed again. I could not understand how she, out of the blue, slipped back to her depressed symptoms and seemed paralyzed once more.

When I discovered she was scared to open her new practice I had the clue I needed. She felt out on a limb. Everything seemed like too much to handle. She was not sure she was adequate to the task so she was suddenly overcome with high anxiety. This is when she immediately slipped back into depression.

Eureka! A light bulb went off in my head. She felt safe when she depressed her energy. She felt afraid when she let her energy flow because she had new challenges, new adventures, and new opportunities where she could mess up. As a result high anxiety hit her in the face.

I had not prepared her enough so that she was able to handle the new level of stress she was facing. Therefore, she used her old coping skill of depressing her energy flow. Anytime, you do not have the proper coping skills you use what you used as a child to cope with life.

This is when I discovered that depression is an avoidance response. People flip-flop back and forth between anxiety and depression because they do not know what else to do. Bi-polar, which used to be manic-depressive disorder, is a common diagnosis psychologists give to people.

With depression and anxiety you are in a catch 22 until you learn how to deal with anxiety effectively. Therefore, the answer to depression and bipolar is to learn how to handle anxiety effectively so that your anxious energy is not bigger than you. You must know how to be effective in new situations and to be self-confident.

With this new way of looking at depression and anxiety I taught my client better coping skills. She learned to be relaxed in more situations and be much more assertive. Then she did not feel overwhelmed with her new adventures. She was able to give up her depression permanently when she knew how to handle her new stress without getting so anxious she could not be effective.

Learn the coping skills you need to feel safe letting your natural energy flow take you into new adventures. The exciting moments of being alive are well worth the investment in yourself.

========================================

BE MORE EFFECTIVE: Assertiveness Training is the most effective way to become more effective! “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” is a 46-page manual, PLUS six lessons, over eight hours of audio instruction and coaching, $149.97, guaranteed.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive rather than being assertive. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.” — Kevin from the UK

=========================================

LEARN TO COPE WITH STRESS: Take the original, well-crafted “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” home study course. Leads you step by step into body awareness and relaxation. Learn how to tame your inner critics, breathe, feel your emotions, and have more fun. Improves self-confidence. 10 written lessons, 5 hours of self-help audio, money back guarantee, $149.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

==========================================

DEPRESSION HELP: Learn more about depression, how you learned to depress your energy and solutions to being depressed. Listen to the seminar on “Depression: How to Unlearn Your Unhealthy Conditioning and Break Free.” One-hour audio, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/depressionaudio.html

=========================================

Please share the holistic psychology information at http://www.drjeanette.com with anyone who is interested in learning to be happy, healthy, and effective.

Self-Esteem Tip: Reduce Your Anxiety to Get Comfortable

DSC_0035

 

Follow Dr. Jeanette on Twitter

Kick back and relax like a baby.

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get Comfortable.

Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.html

====================

Being comfortable with yourself is not simple, easy, or clear. One person can be self-confident about how they dress, another feels proud when they create new software. One person can be sure of how they relate to others, while another is certain they can make plenty of money. However, these single talents do not necessarily create a person who is comfortable with themselves as they move about the world.

Consider, the loud-mouthed man in the train car behind me right this minute. He is saying over and over again, “It doesn’t matter what you think about me. All that matters is what I think about me. I am the only one who stands in my way.” He is saying all the “right” things that could make you “think” he posses self-confidence.

However, from his volume, tones, pitch and energy you know he is suffering from extremely low self-esteem. His repetition could indicate a more serious mental health problem. In any case, he thinks he has self-esteem and he does not.

Often, the people who think they are self-confident and are not, are the ones in charge of Every-Thing. Every-Thing refers to governments, religions, corporations, banks, education, medicine, and psychology. These are the people who run the world and tell us what we can do and what we cannot do and how we must do what we do.

So, what is this elusive thing called self-esteem? Where is it and how can you get more of it?  Being comfortable with yourself in your physical body, in space, is the true measure of self-confidence. Naturally, the more situations you are comfortable in, the better.  Also, take note of when you are comfortable being uncomfortable.

It is only a self-confident man who admits he doesn’t know something, needs help, and is confused. It is the self-confident woman who admits she is fearful, anxious, or unsure. Becoming comfortable with all the different aspects of your body, mind, and heart is the pathway to genuine self-esteem. There are plenty of aspects to being human that will keep your personal growth and professional development programs active for the rest of your life.

So, no matter where you rate yourself on self-esteem, take note of the places you are comfortable and enjoy them. Comfortable means relaxed, with little tension in your body. Comfortable means no thought in your mind that makes you feel bad and tighten up.

Pay attention to the times you are uncomfortable and see what makes you anxious. Invest time, effort, and money into reducing your anxiety. Without anxiety, you become more comfortable in more places, with a greater variety of people. The more your anxiety comes down, the more your self-esteem goes up.

The more self-confidence you have, the more comfortable you are being in the world. Soon, you kick back and enjoy being yourself in a situation where you used to be uncomfortable. When you notice this new behavior, you are surprised and pleased with yourself.

==========================

NEED HELP BEING COMFORTABLE? Take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally home study course. Leads you step by step into feeling your body and being more comfortable with its many aspects. Learn how to tame your inner critics, breathe, feel your emotions, and have more fun being comfortable in lots more places.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

==========================

BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE: Psychological research has shown that being assertive reduces your anxiety level in many situations. Consider how much better your life would be if you were comfortable with others and able to express yourself without anxiety.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

=========================

Keep New Year’s Resolutions, Take Action for Successful Personal Growth

skiingFollow Doris Jeanette on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette

 

Take action. Do what you love.

 

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Light your fire.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.htm

==========================

Do you know what stops you from being open, relaxed and fit?

Let us recap what you learned last week about how to keep your New Year’s Resolutions so you feel proud and pleased with yourself by the end of 2014.

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions

Be realistic
Set yourself up for success, not failure
Feel proud of last year’s successes
Learn to stand in your success
Take responsibility for your actions or lack of actions
Use your intention to get energy moving forward
Take appropriate action that leads to success

Failure to keep your New Year’s Resolutions is due to one psychological factor, anxiety. For example, if you want to lose weight you must reduce your anxiety. Anxiety is what makes you eat too much. If you want to be more open, you must reduce your anxiety. Anxiety is what causes you to be distrustful of others. If you want to be more fit, it is anxiety that you must get out of your nervous system and physical body in order to become physically healthy and strong.

Apply this anxiety help to all of your New Year’s Resolutions. Anxiety makes you drink too much, push away love, not move, move too fast and defend yourself in relationships. Anxiety is what makes you stop pursuing your New Year’s Resolutions by the end of January!

Therefore, the action step you must take if you want to be successful with any New Year’s Resolution is to reduce the anxiety that currently exists in your body and nervous system. Anxiety is like static on the radio, it interferes with your ability to perform at your best in any situation. Anxiety is never helpful. Anxiety is a maladaptive conditioned response.

Maladaptive conditioned response means you learned to be anxious in a past learning experience and this response is not helpful. Period. This is the definition of anxiety. A little bit of anxiety is never good for you. Real fear, on the other hand, is helpful. Fear keeps you safe and sane.

Rest assured there are real solutions to any and all psychological problems and relationships issues. If you want to be open and trust people, you can learn to be open and trust people. If you want to reduce your anxiety, you can learn, step by step, exactly how to reduce your anxiety.

Do not sit in helplessness, thinking you cannot reduce your anxiety. Anxiety is learned, and you can unlearn it. Light some fire underneath your butt to make sure you take the positive action steps that take you directly to your New Year’s Resolutions.

Get excited and take some baby steps into more pleasurable moments in 2014.

============================

Two Home Study Courses Lead to Success

ANXIETY HELP: Experience more relaxation, fun and self-confidence. Take the home study course, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally.” In the first lesson, learn how to successfully overcome your anxiety response. Since anxiety is the source of all failure, this course ensures you reach your New Year’s Resolutions and keep improving as the year goes by. 10 written lessons and 5 hours of audio, which includes the best-selling “Opening the Heart” series. $149.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

LEARN NEW SKILLS: Assertiveness Training is an essential communication skill that you must have to be effective with loved ones, your boss and your own ego. Even if you have taken an Assertiveness Training course before, benefit from the body and energy awareness approach included in this course that is not included in other AT courses. You also get a much needed tune up! Just like a piano, you go out of tune if you do not keep tuning yourself.

If this sounds exciting to you, order the Assertiveness Training online course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” 47 pages, over six hours of audio, cost $149.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

NEW YEAR SPECIAL: Order one home study course and get the other one half off. Ask for a discount coupon when you place your first order. Must order course by Monday, Jan 20, 2014.

Both courses include essential body awareness information that make sure your New Year’s Resolutions come true because you are transforming your anxiety energy into effective energy.

=============================

GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP OR DIVORCE? The winter months can be rough. Use the time for personal growth so you light up your life before spring. Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up” for yourself or a family member. 13 pages, pdf file, $9.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

====================================

Please share your comments below.

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions? Feel Proud

hawaii

Follow Doris Jeanette on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette

 

Spending a month in Hawaii in 2013 was one of my accomplishments.

 

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Feel proud.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
Live at the Edge: http://www.ladybuglive.com/edge.htm

==========================

Like removing dirty clothes, it feels good to let go of 2013. Like putting on fresh, clean clothes, it feels fantastic to walk into the brand new year of 2014. It is exciting to know that this new year offers new possibilities and promises that you could embrace if you so choose.

It is always helpful to take stock of your personal growth and review the successes you achieved over the last year. If you want to permanently improve your self-confidence, it is essential to take the time to celebrate your successes and feel proud of yourself. You need to make the successes yours.

To help you own your successes, write down the personal growth and professional achievements you accomplished in 2013. No matter how small your success, write it down and know that baby steps are the way you learn to dance in the world. Your written material will give you concrete data you can use the next time your ego starts to find fault with everything about you!

Next, you need to celebrate your successes in some way that feels good to you. Reward yourself with something that you love. It is also important to not forget about your successes. Instead, remember your successes as you walk into the New Year. Take time each day to feel proud of yourself and feel good about yourself.

Body Awareness Exercise

To help you anchor your successes into the physical plane, think of your successes as you feel your body and stand up tall with pride. Then continue to stand in your success as you walk around inside your house. If you have attended one of my workshops or phone sessions, you know these body awareness exercises are effective and fun. Next, take your new body posture outside in the world and enjoy your new body self-confidence.

Body awareness exercises help you own your power to make sure you learn a new physical sense of self-confidence that no one can take away from you. The addition of this body awareness factor is what makes my new psychology approach and home study courses more effective than traditional personal growth courses.

Take Responsibility

You must also remind yourself that you took specific actions that lead to your successes; they did not just happen to you. You are the one who took the proper actions that led to reaching your goal. It does not matter how good your teachers, mentors and coaches are, you are the one who did the work that led your to accomplishments. Like it or not, you are responsible for your successes and failures.

Intend to Make 2014 Even Better.

Write down your New Year Resolutions, goals, desires and needs. Choose to be part of the 12% of people who successfully reach their New Year’s Resolutions. It would be a waste of energy for you to be part of the 88% who drop the ball by the end of January!

You can lose weight, make more money, have more fun, improve your sex life, become healthier and attract more loving relationships by the end of 2014. If you take yourself seriously and make a definite plan on how to reach your New Year’s resolution, you will be successful. There is no reason for you to drop the ball and fail.

To succeed, you must be realistic. Do not set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for success. Set a goal that you know you will reach. If losing weight is your New Year’s Resolution, plan to lose one pound a week. And know that some weeks you will not even lose one. That is reality and reality is the path that leads to success.

To be successful, you also need to make sure your weight loss program is not based on controlling yourself and your diet. Control is not successful with any New Year’s resolution because it is not pleasurable. Never try to make yourself do something or not do something if you want to reach your New Year’s resolutions. If the activity is not fun and enjoyable, you will quickly drop the ball and fail.

More next week on how to keep your New Year’s Resolutions. For this week, stand in your successes and feel proud. Then write down realistic New Year’s Resolutions outlining a successful personal growth pathway.

============================

Two Home Study Courses Help You Reach Your New Year’s Resolutions.

INCREASE BODY AWARENESS: Enjoy more relaxation, fun and self-acceptance. Take the home study course, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally.” In the first lesson learn how to stop anxiety attacks and increase body awareness so you successfully overcome your anxiety response. Since anxiety is the source of all failure, this course ensures you reach your New Year’s Resolutions and keep improving as the year goes by. 10 written lessons and 5 hours of audio which, includes the best-selling “Opening the Heart” series. $149.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

USE YOUR POWER: Assertiveness Training is an essential skill that you must have to be effective with loved ones, your boss and your own ego. Even if you have taken an Assertiveness Training course before, benefit from the body and energy awareness approach included in this course that is not included in other AT courses. You also get a much needed tune up! Just like a piano, you go out of tune if you do not keep tuning yourself.

If this sounds beneficial to you, order the Assertiveness Training online course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” 47 pages, over six hours of audio, cost $149.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

NEW YEAR SPECIAL: Order one home study course and get the other one half off. Ask for your discount coupon when you place your first order. Must order course by Monday, Jan 13, 2014.

Both courses include essential body awareness information that make sure your New Year’s Resolutions come true because you are transforming your anxious energy into effective energy.

=============================

GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP OR DIVORCE? The winter months can be rough. Use the time for personal growth so you light up your life before spring. Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up” for yourself or a family member. 13 pages, pdf file, $9.97. Money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

====================================