How to Be Happy and Full of Joy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Bring Back Your Joy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Human Energy Teacher, Mentor
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Last month I shared how to relax into stress by trusting yourself and your natural processes. Read about how to transform overwhelming energy if you missed it: http://thevibrantmoment.com/2017/07/19/how-to-live-in-process-and-relax-into-stress/

Thank the cosmos, I was able to follow my own advice. For the last two weeks, I have been able to enjoy my daily swim and relax in the shade afterwards, while looking up at the beautiful blue sky. What a joy!

I was stuck in a defensive response to stress. Nothing kills joy faster than defensive energy. This is the reason I am highly motivated to get rid of defensive energy as fast as possible. How often do you get stuck in a defensive reaction?

“No one understands me. No one cares about me,” my client said after the end of a story about how an unkind person related to him. He didn’t say it, but I could feel that he included me in with all the rest of the people in his life. He did not think that I understood or cared about him either.

After forty years of experience working with defensive energy, I know that when someone is defensive, they do not trust me. I also know that when someone does not trust me, there is nothing I can do to help them. Therefore, if I cannot find a way to help my client return to his senses so he can trust me again, he is on his own.

This means he will stay stuck in his false beliefs, reacting as if they are true, when in reality they are false. This is the emotional health dynamic when many people end an important relationship with their friend, family or psychologist. You can currently see millions of people all over the world acting as if their irrational thoughts about reality are true, when they are false.

This is an excellent definition of mental illness. When you, or someone you know and love, is stuck in a false belief that no one understands you, you are out of touch with reality. Of course, it is true that people are sometimes unkind, mean and attacking. Yes, the person in my clients’ story was unkind.

However, it is also true that my client is being unkind to his friend and himself. The bottom line is, when you stop being unkind to yourself is when unkindness stops hurting you. When I stopped criticizing myself, I stopped being defensive about all my problems. Once I was kind and loving toward myself, my pleasure in living returned.

The next time this emotional health dynamic occurs in your life, you could transform your defensive energy into flowing healthy, energy. Instead of making yourself or the other person wrong, you could return to your senses. If you feel, instead of think, you return to your body and reality. Common sense, reality and truth are the ingredients needed to cultivate joy and vibrant moments.

Bring back your joy by being kind to yourself—no matter what is going on in your life.

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LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Assertiveness Training is essential education if you want healthy relationships. Learn how to express your emotions and feelings in effective ways to get what you want and need. Study ways to stop defensive behaviors such as being aggressive or passive. Being angry empowers you to stop people from hurting you and taking advantage of you. Be effective in taking care of yourself in relationships. Money-back guarantee, $149.97, 46-page manual, six written lessons and six audio coaching classes to guide you. Order the home study Assertiveness Training course and enjoy working with it. Just reading the manual will help you be more assertive.
Read more and order: http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

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STOP CRITICIZING: Defensive energy is caused by two demons, Guilt and Judgment. Learn how to get rid of guilt and live a guilt free life. Order the one-hour audio lesson, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment.” http://www.drjeanette.com/guiltbuster.html

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Follow me on twitter for daily inspiration: http://twitter.com/DorisJeanette ====================================

If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share it with your friends and colleagues. It comes to you from holistic psychologist, Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist with forty years of experience teaching people how to read and use energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com.

How to Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Come True

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: You Can Do it.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do you believe you can do what you want to do?
Do you know you have a right to live the life you desire?

There is no reason you cannot follow your heart and enjoy more vibrant moments. Even though the pathway to freedom and joy is full of real fears and irrational anxieties, never give up or think you cannot face your real fears and overcome your anxieties.

If your life is not what you want it to be, if your health is puny, if you feel deep sorrow, know there is hope. At any moment in time you can begin the process of transforming your dense, defensive energy into more love and light. You have the power to shift, change, transform, unlearn, and learn whenever you decide to take action.

The pathway to your goals is clear. You must stay true to yourself. As you move forward you will learn many new skills, behaviors, and habits that empower you and make you innately happy. The journey to self-actualization is fun, you do not have to wait until you get to the end of your life to enjoy yourself.

Here is a list of lessons learned in 2015 from a regular client who is willing to share her successes with you. She had a very hard year full of relationship, financial, and stage four cancer problems. Yet, she stayed true to herself and is now happier and healthier than she has ever been.

May her list inspire and motivate you to keep learning and growing. She said, “If I distilled my list down, it would pretty much be learning to love and care for myself.”

Lessons Learned in 2015

I am the most important being in my life.
I am very, very strong emotionally, physically, and energetically.
I have gifts and I can explore them at my own pace.
No one knows about me better than I know about myself.
Energy leaks are critical to fix.
My Higher Self is me. My Little Girls are me.
Align with authentic self, not ego.
We heal ourselves.
Reality is the only safe place.
Love is more powerful than anything; love makes everything alright.
I am not alone. Ever.
I am deeply loved.
I am brave.
I let go of so much and I am ok.
I face my biggest fears and walk through them.
I always get back home.
We have to choose to receive in order to receive.
We always have a choice.
My truth feels like goose bumps on the inside.
Greater compassion for self and others.
Only I can make myself happy. I can only make myself happy.
Feeling grateful makes every situation ok.
Look for the lesson. There is a lesson in everything.
I am living a bigger life and learning how to keep growing it.

Take some of her lessons and make them your lessons for 2016. Stay true to yourself and you will definitely move forward. Open your heart and send love to yourself and then to others.

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FIND THE LOVE IN YOUR HEART: Feel better, love more, and be healthier when you learn how to feel your emotions and stay true to yourself. The Opening the Heart audio series is a three-hour comforting, relaxing guide that helps you find, accept, heal, and follow your emotional self to freedom and joy. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Opening the Heart:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

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NEED EDUCATION? Manifest what you want and need in 2016. Visit the no drug, holistic psychology, self-help products, audio, and home study courses available at
http://www.drjeanette.com/selfhelpproducts.html

Drug Free, Alternative Therapy, Home Study Courses:
1. “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” $199.97
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html
2. “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” $149.97
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html
3. “Become a Better Lover,” $249.97
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How to Know When You are Grounded and Relaxed

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Get Grounded.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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I often mention how important it is for you to be grounded. This is because being ungrounded for you, a human energy system, has the same unpleasant consequences that your light switch suffers when it is ungrounded.

You could burn down your house if your electrical box did not have a safety value to completely shut off the electrical current when the wires get overloaded. Apply the same principles to you, your body, and nervous system.

Just like a teenager who is out of control and desperately needs his parents to ground him until he comes back into balance, you need to keep an eye on yourself. The results of not being grounded are self-destructive. For example, when you are ungrounded, you are anxious, manic, irrational, and accident-prone.

Do you know when you are ungrounded? Here is a list of factors to help you know if you are grounded or not.

If you are grounded you:
Are aware of your body as a solid mass.
Feel energy in your feet.
Are aware of the bottom of your feet connecting to gravity.
You are not moving too fast or too slow.
Are aware of your physical surroundings.
Notice how you are relating to yourself and others.
Are relaxed and present, ready to response appropriately.

The first factor is the most important one. If you are not aware of your body, there is a high probability that you are not grounded. Without body awareness you are in some mental state that is defensive, weak, and unreliable.

Your holistic and mental health are determined by the degree to which you are grounded. Psychologists, coaches, social workers, and therapists, need to get grounded so they can teach you how get grounded and stay grounded.

I was just in Yellowstone National Park enjoying the bears and the signs that said, “Be Bear Aware.” Inspired, I leave you with a strong reminder: “Be Body Aware!”

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GET GROUNDED: Mother Nature grounds you and protects you from irrational thoughts. Let me teach you how to get grounded and stay grounded. Relax and express yourself in a small group of interesting people at a Nature Workshop. Near NYC and Philadelphia. Come for the day or spend the colorful fall weekend in New Hope, PA. October 24, 11:00-5:00, $200.00, five openings left.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

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GROUNDING AT HOME: Take the home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to get your mental energy grounded so you stop being anxious. Extremely effective. If you do the body exercises, you get results. 10 written lessons, five hours of audio, including the emotional health audio guide, Opening the Heart worth $97.00. Course is tax deductible for professionals as continuing education. Buy the entire home study course for $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

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How to Know When You are Defensive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Give Up Defensive Energy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader asks, “Show an example of authentic defensiveness (validly
taking care of yourself) and whatever ‘being defensive’ is … people
always make it sound nasty and shameful. It’s dismissive, as it’s
often used in the vernacular. ‘Oh, you’re just being defensive. I
don’t have to pay attention to what you’re saying.’ In other words, a
power play, to create helplessness.”

I was walking through Rittenhouse Park on the way to buy groceries
when I caught myself in the act of being defensive for the first
time. I was replaying a conversation over and over again in my head
between me and my traditional talk therapist. She said, “You are … I
honestly cannot remember what she said at this point about me. My
response was, “This is NOT TRUE about me. No, way. I am not …”
whatever it was she said.

In my head I was defending myself. Making up reasons to prove that
what she said was not true. Creating excuses about the reason I do
this and that and the other. This mental energy of denying and
rejecting what my therapist said is an excellent example of defensive
energy.

My new psychological awareness was in the early 1980s and I did not
know about body language and energy flow. I did know about defense
mechanisms. Thank Freud for discovering that humans create defense
mechanisms to defend themselves against a perceived attack. I felt
threatened by the observation and feedback that I was getting from my
therapist.

You defend yourself when you feel criticized or attacked. The person
giving you the feedback may or may not be attacking you. Usually,
they are not. They are telling you their truth and you do not like
it. You do not like it because it makes you uncomfortable and
anxious. You do not like it because it threatens your ego, your image
of yourself.

An example of assertive behavior, which would be authentic
defensiveness, would be to receive what my therapist said and explore
her feedback to see how much of it was true. I am sure all of it was
true. She was not being critical of me, she was trying to help me
become more conscious and aware.

You may think your family and friends are making you wrong or bad.
However, most of the time they are being honest with you and they are
not attacking you. Once in a while a family member may be judging you
and making you wrong and bad. In this case you need to say to
yourself, “So what? Maybe she is or is not making me wrong or bad. So
what?”

When you say “So what?” to yourself, this helps you immediately give
up your defensive response. The goal is to be assertive and not
defensive. An assertive response is one that supports you
emotionally. If you are assertive you are honest with yourself about
what you feel. You do not reject how you feel.

You experience your helplessness if that is what you feel. Feeling
helplessness is a step closer to becoming stronger and more secure.
No one is making you helpless, you feel helpless. Feeling helpless
goes back to early childhood learning when you really were helpless.

When you feel helpless, now as an adult, you need to connect in a
loving way with the part of you who feels helpless. Your helplessness
is not going to go away until you do something to help it go away.
Your job is to protect the part of you that feels helpless and keep
her safe and secure.

Defending yourself against helplessness does not empower you. Feeling
your helplessness and making sure the helpless part of you gets the
practical assistance she needs from your authentic adult self empowers
you. If you provide what is needed to your emotional self, you will be
stronger and more secure the next time you get feedback.

You will be able to receive feedback and consider it without
rejecting it or turning it against yourself. Once you get rid of your
inner, learned, mental judgments against yourself, another person’s
judgment does not destroy you. Outside judgments do not feel good,
but if you do not agree with the judgment, it does not hurt your
heart.

The reason an outside attack does not hurt your heart is because you
are protecting and loving your little girl, and her feelings. She
does not feel helpless if you are taking care of her and protecting
her from internal and external attacks.

Never be afraid of feeling helpless or any other feeling. It is by
listening to your feelings that you know how to protect your
emotional self so that you become stronger and more secure. The
helpless part of you cannot take care of herself on her own. She
really is helpless, until you show up and do what is needed.

Is this clear? If not, ask another question.

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TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Being assertive is a powerful, effective, and
the fast way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need
to learn assertive communication skills that protect the inner child.
If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years
it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is
time for to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the
World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six
hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six
Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around:
Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 30 and receive
the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for free. Must mention
The Vibrant Moment to get bonus.
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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PRACTICE BEING ASSERTIVE: Get the practical help you need to be more
assertive in real life. Have fun playing with color and sound. Get
grounded. Enjoy being in the forest with a small group of people
interested in becoming stronger and more alive. Lots of energy and
body exercises. Saturday, October 24, all day workshop, near New
Hope, PA. $200.00.

Read more and sign up:
http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

 

How to Get What You Want by Being Assertive

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Rational.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
==================

You make a mistake.
Your partner does something you do not like.
Your son will not eat what you want him to eat.

What do you do? Do you become rigid and controlling, insisting he eat the way you want him to eat? Do you exaggerate the situation and make it worse than it is? Is this moment really that much of a tragedy?

We all overreact sometimes. It is wise to notice when you do. If you have been in effective therapy, you received outside feedback about your irrational, defensive behavior. You learned that being defensive is a waste of your time and energy. Even more importantly, you learned that irrational behavior does not get you what you want.

An irrational reaction is when you behave in a way that does not fit the reality of the situation. A defensive reaction is not an emotional reaction. Psychologists, researchers, and dictionaries often confuse the source of irrational reactions and tell you that you are being too emotional. Not true.

The source of an irrational reaction is a learned conditioned response. Reactions often feel like a knee jerk response that occurs so quickly you cannot be master over it. But is it? The figurative meaning of knee jerk comes from the physical patellar reflex discovered and named in the 1870s by Dr. William Richard Gowers. Your physical knee jerk response is necessary for good health. It is a reflex, not a conditioned response.

An irrational reaction to life situations is not a reflex and it is not good for your holistic health. When you are conditioned to respond irrationally to anything, you are trapped in a vicious circle of self-control. You are like the pigeons in the city parks that go round and round because they are conditioned to turn around because once they found food when they did.

Could it be that when you are not “in control,” you react irrationally? Yes, irrational reactions occur when you cannot cope with reality. You suddenly become dysfunctional, instead of breathing, dealing, and bending with what is really occurring. When you are irrational, you are not feeling your authentic emotions and you are not aware of your body.

Abruptly, you behave as if you were a monster, instead of a human being with choices and options. In this irrational moment, you are the one being controlled. Thus, you are weak and helpless. You are not free to choose an assertive, effective way to handle the situation.

Reactions are learned, which is a very good thing, because this means you can unlearn them. There is no reason you cannot break free from any conditioned response and become rational and emotionally secure. Rise above your conditioned reactions by feeling your emotions and body, instead of being afraid of them. Your body and heart help you stay safe and sane.

Being in touch with your emotions is what allows you to be assertive. You must know what you feel before you can be assertive. When you are assertive, you are rational and emotionally secure. You are standing tall on a solid foundation of integrity.

Being honest makes you an effective, loving parent, lover, and friend. Best of all, you get what you want.

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GET WHAT YOU WANT: You deserve to get what you want and feel good about it. Being assertive is powerful, effective, and the fastest way to improve your self-esteem. Parents and children need to learn assertive communication skills that work. If you have not had an Assertiveness Training course in a few years it is time for a refresher course. If you have never had one, it is time for you to learn how to be strong and effective. Order “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” forty—seven-page manual with six weeks of lessons PLUS more than six hours of real life coaching audio. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order the home study course “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” by Sunday, August 23 and receive the “Hear Your Body Talking audio worth $29.97 for fr.ee. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get bonus. http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

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STUDY GUIDE: Need to learn new things? If you or your child must study, learn how to use your mind and body for effective study habits and better results. Order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance, one hour tele seminar, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance:
http://www.drjeanette.com/7studyskills.html

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How to Stop Panic and Anxiety Attacks by Looking Into Your Heart

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Heal Emotional Wounds.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader is interested in “Unlearning trauma imprints and rerouting and reprogramming the cognitive, reactive groove in your thinking. For instance, past panic attacks have been traumatic thinking I’m “going crazy,” going to faint, catastrophic thinking etc. Now whenever I have high anxiety, I have the same repetitive thoughts even though I don’t believe them anymore. It’s an old groove that I wish to reprogram.”

To successfully unlearn anything you must be certain there is no real danger involved. It would be dangerous to condition yourself to be fearless when there are so many real dangers in the world. Therefore, you must be absolutely certain, at all times, that you are emotionally safe and physically secure.

In the situation above, during an anxiety attack, you are experiencing high anxiety and repetitive thoughts. A part of you is scared and does not feel safe. You are trying to solve your anxiety problem by using your brain and it’s new, positive beliefs. This does not work.

To be effective, you must find the solution hiding out in your heart and body. “What is your emotional self really afraid of? What is her reality? What does she need from you?” It does not matter what you believe or think.

Beliefs do not help you. For example, consider the people who ran to the roof in the World Trade Center during the attacks of 9/11. Due to the in-house, safety trainings they believed they would be saved if they reached the roof. However, all of them died because there were no helicopters on the roof to save them because there was no roof to land on.

If you want to be safe, never, never trust your beliefs. They could be right or wrong at any moment in time. Rules, beliefs, and even what has happened to you in the past will not keep you safe. Your emotional self is smarter and wiser than you are so you need to listen to her and follow her for guidance. Your little girl, who is afraid, is in touch with her body, feelings, emotions, instincts, intuition, and wounds.

Since 1976 I have successfully helped women and men unlearn their habitual knee jerk reactions in life situations due to sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. To be successful you must heal the original wound completely and totally. You cannot heal emotional wounds sort of, partially, or almost. You have to heal your original trauma so the wound is no longer a gaping hole.

Often therapists and clients who do inner child work do not complete the job. For your emotional wounds to be healed you must know what is scary in the original situation, this is your real fear. There could be several traumatic situations and real fears that need to be healed. You must deal with any real fear until the fear is no longer scary.

In addition, you must know how to protect yourself and take care of yourself now, and in the future, concerning your fears. This means you need to get additional training, therapy, education, and practice in taking care of yourself in new and different ways. Until these skills are securely in place, and able to protect you, you are not emotionally safe and physically secure.

If the adult part of you does not have a solid, loving, daily relationship with your emotional self there is no reason your inner child would feel safe and secure. You cannot fool her into thinking she is safe and secure with any belief, information or advice. If you do not have the courage, strength and necessary skills to protect her, she is not safe and secure.

Your inner child can feel you and he knows when you are able and willing to protect him and keep him safe and secure. He also knows when you will betray, judge, neglect, and ignore him. Your emotional self is the one you must find, love, and follow in order to heal your wounds.

Therefore, I suspect that your emotional self knows she is not safe because your authentic self is not taking care of her and protecting her from her real fears. Look and see how your judgmental self is relating to your little girl, who is scared, right this minute.

To be successful in overcoming anxiety naturally you must be able to take care of yourself now and in the future when you become afraid. You must learn new ways to protect your little girl before she can relax and feel emotionally safe and physically secure.

Write me and tell me the topics you want to know more about. If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please share your holistic psychology newsletter with friends, family, and colleagues. Tell them to sign up at: http://www.drjeanette.com

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FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you do not own the three-hour “Opening the Heart” audio series, order it now. The first hour of audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio every day to learn how to feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and “When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing guidance at your fingertips 24 hours a day. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order “Opening the Heart” before Sunday, May, 24 and get the ebook, worth $19.97 for free. The written words have a different impact on you.
Words reach the left brain and help overcome its resistance!

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ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Become more self-confident by adding courage to your life. Learn the skills you need to take better care of yourself effectively and gracefully. Assertiveness Training is essential and you must keep studying and practicing assertiveness throughout your life. If you have a local course, take it. If you have already taken a local course take this home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” as a refresher course. If you have never taken an AT course, take this home study course and get started! forty—seven page manual and over six hours of live audio instructions and coaching. $149.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence. I loved it. I learned I was often being aggressive or passive or passive-aggressive rather than being assertive. Now I know the difference. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.”  — Kevin from the UK

GET FREE BODY AWARENESS AUDIO if you order, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence” by Sunday, May 24 worth $29.97, Get a free copy of “Hear Your Body Talking”:
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If you already own “Hear Your Body Talking” pick another holistic psychology audio at: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

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NEED HELP WITH GRIEF? Loss a pet, mother or child? If you are interested in a four-session grief group on the phone this summer, “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” let me know. You get the support and help you need to keep moving forward with your grieving instead of getting stuck in depression and anxiety. If there is enough interest, I will do one or two “How to Become More Alive While Grieving” Groups during the summer. The price is $200 for four hour and fifteen minute sessions. Times and days will be decided by participants.

Personal Growth Tip: Write Your Way to Better Mental Health

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Write to Know More.

Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” Nikola Tesla

I love Tesla. Maybe it is because he was never a good businessman and suffered greatly from his genus! I learned to feel sorry for people, just like everyone else, and his story of being so alone, and so poor, in NYC, with only pigeons as friends, breaks my heart.

Compare Nikola Tesla with Thomas Edison who was a great businessman. Tesla was by and far the greatest genius; Edison was by and far the greatest businessman. Edison lived in his Florida mansion on the waterfront, side by side, with Henry Ford. Ah, another businessman, and they both had wives.

What do we learn from these successful business men? It pays to be connected to people. Partnering with others is the way to profit from your ideas. But even more important than profits is your mental health. You must be connected to other people in some real, honest way in order to be mentally healthy.

So? From this moment on, I am not going to feel sorry for creative geniuses, ever again. Nope! Done, will drop that one like a hot potato!

Notice, how I shifted my mental health position, in the brief course of writing this newsletter to you? I did not even know I felt sorry for Tesla until I wrote the first paragraph. This is the reason writing is such a powerful transformational tool. Writing, without thinking, increases awareness.

From now on, I will love creative geniuses, learn from them, and stop feeling sorry for them. Instead, I will stop judging, and yes, I also noticed from writing this newsletter, that I have been judging men like Edison and Ford who were excellent businessmen.

It appears I had a false belief Edison “took advantage” of other people by making so much money, while poor Tesla suffered through life being misunderstood by all. Did I unconsciously think Edison was a bully and Tesla was a Martyr? It appears so.

Tesla could have learned how to get along with others! Yes, he could have learned to form healthy relationships with people who had good business minds. He could have been more open and loving toward possible partners of either sex. He could have enjoyed many true friends, instead of just Mark Twain.

If you do not feel connected to others, learn how to relate equally to children and adults. Get the relationships skills education needed to empower yourself so you can relax and be yourself with others. Good mental health is worth your time, money, and effort.

Start writing, without thinking, for increased awareness of what is hiding in your unconscious. It is so much fun to bring the truth up to your conscious mind.

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WRITING HELP: It is not about being a good writer, it is about slaying the negative voices in your head. Listen to my dear friend Emily Hanlon teach you how to “De-fang Your Inner Critic to Find Your Voice.” She made enough money on a best seller to send her children to college and buy property in Maine. Listen to what Emily says, as I back up her knowledge, with mine. One hour live Teleseminar, $29.97.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emily.html

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MAY 2, CAPE MAY, NJ, NATURE WORKSHOP: Spring Theme: Relax, Be Yourself! This workshop is not psychotherapy, it is transformational. Relationships skills are included in the multitudes of body-energy-emotional exercises enjoyed during the all-day workshop.  Read more and sign up now: http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

Self-Confidence Advice: Use Common Sense the Holistic Psychology Way

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Use Common Sense.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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What is common sense?

Common sense is the ability to come up with a sound decision based on a realistic perception of a situation or facts.

You have plenty of innate common sense and can use your common sense to make your life effective, which is the opposite of dysfunctional. To use your common sense you must not listen to what others tell you you should do and should not do.

When you are in touch with your common sense you make good, sound decisions. You know when someone or something does not feel good, right, or correct. Even if you are taking an effective home study course or following the instructions given by a knowledgeable holistic psychologist you must use your own common sense.

For example, I often recommend Color and Sound Therapy to help you move through emotional and physical issues. However, you can over do it! You can use too much color or sound, giving you negative results. This would only occur if you are listening to the should and should nots in your head. Your common sense would tell you enough is enough!

Perhaps you misunderstood the instructions, maybe you are more sensitive to color and sound than others, or maybe the instructor didn’t think of everything. It could also be that your ego is pushing you to do more, and more, and more! Your bully ego is often the problem.

When your sneaky ego dominates you, you do not have access to your common sense. Your common sense makes sure you get positive results no matter what you do and how you do it. You can learn from any experience, and feel empowered, no matter what happens.

The difference between using your common sense and being controlled by should and should nots is the difference between holistic health and mental illness. When you listen to the should and should nots in your head that you learned from others, you are headed toward depression, anxiety, and NO vibrant moments.

Depressed energy can move. Anxious energy can slow down and you can get in touch with your authentic self’s energy. When you fall into your authentic self and allow your energy to relax and be natural, you give up depression and anxiety. This is an awesome physical experience and creates a vibrant moment or two.

Use your common sense for better holistic health and lots more fun.

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MAY 2, CAPE MAY, NJ, NATURE WORKSHOP: Spring Theme: Relax, Be Yourself! This workshop is not psychotherapy, it is transformational. Assertiveness Training Exercises are included in the multitudes of body-energy-emotional exercises enjoyed during the all-day workshop. Read more and order: http://www.drjeanette.com/natureworkshops.html

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FIND YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF’S ENERGY: In the first half hour of listening you learn the difference between your authentic energy and should and should nots. The second half hour leads you on an inner journey into your heart to find your authentic self so you learn to accept, heal, and love yourself to greatness. Order Opening the Heart, 3 hours of emotional health audio, money-back guarantee, $97.00.

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Relationship Advice: Learn to Read Energy and Look Deeper into Your Heart

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Look Deeper.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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I received a question this week from a reader about how to deal with impatience and irritability.

How often do you get impatient? And with whom?
How often to you get irritable? And with whom?

It is always helpful to notice the energy of what you are experiencing first before you take action steps to change the energy. Using energy as a feedback tool is what sets the New Psychology apart from all the other psychological approaches. If you want to know more about who you are and what you are experiencing you must become more aware of your energy.

Are you really impatient or do you just think you are impatient?

Sometimes, the sneaky ego tells you that you are impatient and you are not. I notice this quite often with my clients. For example, this is what I hear, “Please, help me today with my meanness. I was so impatient with my mother this week.”

Because I read energy, even on the phone, I immediately distrusted my clients view of herself being “mean.” My client is highly sensitive, so, I asked her to tell me more details about what happened and what she did that was so unkind to her mother.

Sure enough, after I heard the whole story, it was clear she had not been impatient and mean with her mother. She was reserving reality. Her mother had been insensitive to her.

It is conceivable that you have the same misperception about your behavior. Perhaps you do not really feel impatient but think that you do. Maybe you are not behaving in an irritable way with people. Instead of impatience, you may feel resentment, anger, fear, or hurt.

Maybe something really important is going on underneath the energy you call impatience. Perchance your irritability is a sign you are not taking care of yourself. Could it be you need to be more assertive?

So, the first thing you need to do is notice the energy of what you are experiencing. It is mental or physical? Or emotional? Is it too fast, too slow? Is it weak, strong? Dark or light? Notice the weight, color, and texture. Are you in your ego or in your heart?

Learning to read energy is an essential skill for a holistic psychologist, therapist, coach, parent, and successful person. Ok, you are paying attention to your energy. Now what?

Next, you must look underneath the surface energy. Look deep into your heart. You want to see, hear, smell, taste, feel what is going on with your emotional self. You do not want to accept what your head and brain tell you without getting the concrete data you need to know your truth.

You want to feel the authentic energy directly so you know what is really going on inside of you. You could be upset about something that is really occurring. What if you became aware of an unhealthy relationship dynamic that you need to do something about?

That was the case with my client who thought she was mean to her mother. Underneath her perception that she was being mean to her mother was a mother who was judgmental toward her daughter’s new, healthy, assertive behaviors.

When you look under the surface you find your inner truths. Also, you learn how you are defined, controlled, confused, and manipulated by others. Most people and parents do not consciously define, control, confuse, and manipulate you. They are just passing on what they learned from their parents.

Nevertheless, it certainly empowers you if you know you are letting others define, control, confuse, and manipulate you! Then, you can learn to be assertive which results in healthier relationships and increased self-confidence. Next week, I will talk more about how to deal with impatience if you are really being impatient.

Here is a big hug to you for reading The Vibrant Moment. Please share your free holistic psychology newsletter with friends and family interested in being more aware, healthy, and happy: http://www.drjeanette.com

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LEARN TO READ ENERGY AND BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class, “Say Goodbye to Being Fooled” to improve your self-esteem and effectiveness in relationships. Starts in mid-January 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Email me and let me know you are interested. One-hour class weekly, one-hour peer coaching weekly, $300.00.

Call me at 215-732-6197.

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Metaphysical Law: Bless What You Want and Need to Manifest Goal.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Bless Your Heart.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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My mother signed every card she sent me with “Bless you.” Sometimes, it was even “God bless you.” As a young psychologist, I did not like her religious tones and words. I threw her blessings into the trash in my Center City, Philadelphia home with irritation and disapproval.

As an older, wiser, holistic psychologist I write “Bless you.” and “Bless your heart” at the end of some of my emails. My 86-year-old mother has heard me say many times to her in the last decade, “Thank you mother for blessing me all those years. It finally paid off!”

“Mother, I am so grateful for your blessings. You are so smart. How did you know blessing me was the thing to do?” Mother gently replies, “I don’t know, I just knew to bless you and all that I love.”

Indeed. How wise my mother was and is. She still blesses me in each phone call and encounter we have. It is one of the many things I will miss when she passes. Her ever presence love and blessings will be sorely missed.

Huna psychology from Hawaii also teaches the power of blessing. Whatever you bless increases. This increase occurs because you give positive energy to that which you bless. There may be some other metaphysics magic that occurs that I do not know about, but I know for sure blessing something empowers me and that which I bless.

Try it yourself. If you want more money, bless those that are rich. Bless money in any and all forms. Bless paper money, real estate, stocks, and gold. Bless money to get more money. Notice if you judge and curse the rich. Cursing simply means that good old fashion disapproval I blasted upon my mother’s blessings.

I used to also curse money and the rich. My disapproval of money blocked me from having a good relationship with money. Finally, after years of rejecting money, I am close and loving with money. What a shift and what a joy to be in harmony with money!

Bless anything you want to receive. Bless healthy people to become healthy. Bless loving couples to become more loving. Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday to remind you to use the power of blessing. Bless all that you love and want.

Start by blessing the Native American people for giving life and food to white man when he landed upon their shores.

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