How to Be Happy and Full of Joy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Bring Back Your Joy.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Human Energy Teacher, Mentor

Last month I shared how to relax into stress by trusting yourself and your natural processes. Read about how to transform overwhelming energy if you missed it:

Thank the cosmos, I was able to follow my own advice. For the last two weeks, I have been able to enjoy my daily swim and relax in the shade afterwards, while looking up at the beautiful blue sky. What a joy!

I was stuck in a defensive response to stress. Nothing kills joy faster than defensive energy. This is the reason I am highly motivated to get rid of defensive energy as fast as possible. How often do you get stuck in a defensive reaction?

“No one understands me. No one cares about me,” my client said after the end of a story about how an unkind person related to him. He didn’t say it, but I could feel that he included me in with all the rest of the people in his life. He did not think that I understood or cared about him either.

After forty years of experience working with defensive energy, I know that when someone is defensive, they do not trust me. I also know that when someone does not trust me, there is nothing I can do to help them. Therefore, if I cannot find a way to help my client return to his senses so he can trust me again, he is on his own.

This means he will stay stuck in his false beliefs, reacting as if they are true, when in reality they are false. This is the emotional health dynamic when many people end an important relationship with their friend, family or psychologist. You can currently see millions of people all over the world acting as if their irrational thoughts about reality are true, when they are false.

This is an excellent definition of mental illness. When you, or someone you know and love, is stuck in a false belief that no one understands you, you are out of touch with reality. Of course, it is true that people are sometimes unkind, mean and attacking. Yes, the person in my clients’ story was unkind.

However, it is also true that my client is being unkind to his friend and himself. The bottom line is, when you stop being unkind to yourself is when unkindness stops hurting you. When I stopped criticizing myself, I stopped being defensive about all my problems. Once I was kind and loving toward myself, my pleasure in living returned.

The next time this emotional health dynamic occurs in your life, you could transform your defensive energy into flowing healthy, energy. Instead of making yourself or the other person wrong, you could return to your senses. If you feel, instead of think, you return to your body and reality. Common sense, reality and truth are the ingredients needed to cultivate joy and vibrant moments.

Bring back your joy by being kind to yourself—no matter what is going on in your life.


LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Assertiveness Training is essential education if you want healthy relationships. Learn how to express your emotions and feelings in effective ways to get what you want and need. Study ways to stop defensive behaviors such as being aggressive or passive. Being angry empowers you to stop people from hurting you and taking advantage of you. Be effective in taking care of yourself in relationships. Money-back guarantee, $149.97, 46-page manual, six written lessons and six audio coaching classes to guide you. Order the home study Assertiveness Training course and enjoy working with it. Just reading the manual will help you be more assertive.
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STOP CRITICIZING: Defensive energy is caused by two demons, Guilt and Judgment. Learn how to get rid of guilt and live a guilt free life. Order the one-hour audio lesson, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment.”


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