Amazing Emotional Energy Factors that Stop Your Grieving

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Breathe.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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I am stuck in the grieving process. My mother died over a year ago. I was moving and grooving smoothly along in the grieving process, experiencing waves of sadness that crashed against the shoreline and moved onward and upward.

My joy and energy was coming back from time to time. I was so much more grounded after my fall Nature Workshop and magical trip to Yellowstone National Park. Was finishing up my book over the winter in Colorado, getting it ready for publication, and BANG.

No more. It appears I was dead wrong. I thought just feeling the sadness when I felt sad was enough to move me successfully through the grief process. Feeling sad when you feel sad is not all there is to letting go of a loved one when they physically die.

The body does not lie. Nope, you gotta listen and learn from your physical self every step of the way, especially for us highly sensitive ones who are also empathic. My body is screaming and I am listening with all my ears and cells to discover what my beloved body needs to return to relaxation, safety, and peace.

Here is list of factors I am discovering, which determine the process of letting go of loved ones during the grief process.

Factors that affect and effect the grief process:
1. How close you were to the loved one
2. How much you loved them, note closeness is not love
3. How much she or he loved you.
4. How effectively you expressed love toward her or him.
5. How separated you were from them
6. How many unhealthy attachments you did not resolve
7. What false beliefs you have about death
8. Unhealthy attachments that resurface after the loss
9. How successful your loved one was in letting go of you

Wow. If you think relationships don’t matter, you are in for a shock. How you relate to your parents, family, yourself, and everyone you meet during your lifetime — affect and effect your matter. Your body and energy field reflects the health and unhealthy impact of your relationships.

It does not matter if you loved them or rejected them; you still have an attachment. In addition, you cannot get away from anyone just because they die. Now is the time to unlearn your unhealthy attachments to your parents so you enjoy life more abundantly.

When you read the list of factors that affect the grief process notice that closeness is not the same energy as love. This is where the unhealthy attachments come into play. Often people feel close to each other in unhealthy ways, such as through judgments, guilt, and pity.

For example, take a look at your family through the centuries. Are there common judgments and false beliefs your family hold dear? Does your family think they are better than others because they are good and do the “right” thing? Do you believe you get gold stars for suffering?

Whatever is true or not true, when you get stuck, go back to the basics and breathe. Bringing back my breath helps me become conscious of what I am not conscious of, that I need to be conscious of, in order to get unstuck. Breathing will work for you, too.

Use the approach offered in the Opening the Heart audio to help you feel your feelings and get back on track. “Breathe and feel.” Take a deep breath and slowly exhale. As you let go of your breath, feel your physical feelings and emotional feelings.

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BREATHE AND FEEL: Learn how to feel your feelings and emotions so you do not get stuck in anxiety or depression. Learn the difference between judgment and love, pity and sadness, fear and anxiety. Only after you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy attachments can you let go of judgment, pity, and anxiety. Use the comforting emotional health audio, Opening the Heart. It leads you into healing any grief or loss. Three hours of relaxing audio, $97.00, Ebook, $19.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Opening the Heart, an emotional health guide into your feelings and emotions.

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How to Transform Never Satisfied to Win-Win Ways of Living

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Zen.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A phone client, mother of three young sons, said during last week’s session, “Say that again. That made me feel really good. I get it. Like everything will be all right. A win-win. That no matter what happens life is beautiful and wonderful. Great, you should share this in your next newsletter.”

This, from a woman who has struggled for years with her ego, appropriately named, Ms. Never-Satisfied. Her Ms. Never-Satisfied puts her in lose-lose situations so successfully she has been diagnosed by traditional psychology as a bi-polar in need of constant medication. Her ego has the ongoing habit of killing the joy in her life.

However, her big heart and strong motivation to unlearn her conditioned responses are transforming her into a happier, healthier, and wiser self. Learning how to say “NO!” to the behavior she learned from her mother of never being satisfied is really paying off. She is transforming her lose-lose mindset into win-win ways of living.

Recently she was successful is creating a couple of big, wonderful money manifestations. Here is the message I was communicating to her as we discussed her feelings. A few weeks after these wonderful events, she was not getting what she wanted from another person.

“This is where you have to be very Zen. Life is one adventure after another. You never know how anything will turn out. Nothing is wrong or right. Anything that happens can turn into something better. Best to accept reality and let it move. Know that you are consciously making your life more and more the way you want it.”

Accepting what is happening in your life is often the secret trick to forward movement. Never make yourself and your situation right or wrong. Instead, let reality move.

What you think is so wonderful, may not be so wonderful. What you think is so bad, could have fantastic results. Be Zen.

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LEARN 7 WAYS TO STOP OBSESSIVE THINKING: Thinking any thought, good or bad, can drive you crazy! Self-righteousness is no fun. Get out of the lose-lose mind set, which is irrational, crazy and self-destructive in the long run. Order the one-hour audio, TAME YOUR THOUGHTS to learn how to switch into win-win ways to live your life. $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order Tame Your Thoughts:
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BETTER YET!! ORDER OVERCOME ANXIETY NATURALLY. Live your life in the win-win mind set. Try the win-win and see how your whole world improves. This home study course includes the Tame your Thoughts audio mentioned above and four additional hours of audio including the relaxing, comforting Opening the Heart series PLUS ten written lessons. Written lessons lead you step-by-step into paying attention to your success so you enter the win-win mind set. $199.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order, Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
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Read Option #2:
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Email me if interested and tell me what you want.

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Relationship Advice: The Definition of a Healthy Relationship

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Relate With Awareness.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader asks, “How do people in a healthy relationship relate?”

Fantastic relationship question. First, let me define a healthy relationship. It is NOT people who stay together for a long time. The length of time you have been together is no indication of radiant holistic health, vibrant moments, and solid self-esteem. Often, the longest relationships are full of low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.

Being nice to the other person, as many traditional psychologists endorse, is not necessarily healthy. Pleasing the other person is often a way to avoid the essential conflict that leads to personal growth for both people. Constant conflict is not helpful either because there is not enough shared love to make the relationship worth the effort.

My definition of a healthy relationship is one in which you have the ability to grow and flourish as a self-actualized human being. Of course, even in a healthy relationship there will be times when the other person controls you. However, when you are controlled, you take the appropriate action steps that help you achieve the necessary personal growth so the other person no longer controls you.

Relationships help you grow stronger, happier, and wiser. In a healthy relationship you are committed to working on your past unhealthy learning experiences. You take responsibility for your projections and remove these false beliefs so you can see and relate to the other person instead of to your false beliefs.

Just saying you are sorry is not enough. You must also consciously work on unlearning your unhealthy past relationship patterns instead of continuing to repeat these ineffective conditioned responses over and over again. This means you are in a state of constantly learning new, different ways to relate which are more effective and empowering for you.

The bottom line is healthy people in healthy relationships relate equally to each other. The more often equal interactions occur, the healthier the relationship. In a healthy relationship you feel equal to the other person and he or she feels equal to you. You relate in an assertive way instead of controlling or care-taking the other person.

When you relate equally to the other person you automatically experience love energy moving back and forth between you. Contrast this assertive relationship model with the role models that your mother and father taught you. Most of us grew up with unhealthy care-taking role models where controlling behaviors existed instead of equality.

Take a look at all your relationships and see which ones are equal and which ones could use a major shift toward something new, exciting, and assertive.

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LEARN NEW BEHAVIORS: See yourself getting what you want and feeling good about yourself. Standing up for yourself is mandatory if you want a healthy relationship. Being able to speak your truth to your partner, mother, son, and friend make for healthy relationships. If you do not have access to an Assertiveness Training class, take the home study course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” 46 pages, nine hours of live role playing and coaching audio, $149.97.

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Read more and order: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.”
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“Thank you Dr. Jeanette for your Assertiveness Training course, Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence. I loved it. I learned that I was often being aggressive or passive or passive-aggressive rather than being assertive. Now I know the difference. The difference is huge, both in regard to my actions and the results I get.” — Kevin from the UK

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TOO GUILTY TO BE ASSERTIVE? Without guilt you feel equal to others. Often guilt is what stops you from being assertive and standing up for yourself. Get rid of guilt. Never make any decision based on guilt. Learn from the one-hour tele-seminar audio, “Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment” how to say goodbye to guilt. Order as CD or mp3, only $29.97, Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order: Find Peace Beyond Guilt and Judgment.”
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ENERGY RETREAT: Invite me to your hometown or come to Center City, Philadelphia for an Energy Retreat. Two days of intensive mind-body-spirit experiences that make you more aware of your energy so you know how to create stronger, healthier, and more vital energy. Individual and couple retreats available. Improve your physical, emotional, and mental health during June, July, and August. There is also a Professional Energy Retreat for practitioners if you want to add energy awareness to your holistic psychology practice. Starting at $1,999.99.

Read Option #2:
http://www.drjeanette.com/privatehumanenergy.html

Email me if interested to learn more and set up dates.