The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be fierce with reality.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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A reader whose goal is to become emotionally strong shares what it is like to be controlled, scared, and insecure.
“When I’m in controlled mindset which is 90% of the time, my body is tense, contracted, even little unconscious muscles are contracted. In session, I thought I was relaxed but I’m controlled by: time, need of approval, fear, analyzing, focusing on what I will say, searching for right…that’s why I get confused about my real inner voice.”
This is an excellent description of what you feel like when you are controlling yourself instead of being yourself. When you are in control you cannot hear your inner voice or access your authentic self. Therefore, you do not know what you really feel, want, or need.
Your various shades of inner and outer realities are colored by your rose-colored ego glasses or brown-colored glasses. As a result, you live outside of yourself and do not experience reality. You suffer because you do not have integrity.
You cannot find peace, wholeness, sanity, and emotional strength until you become “fierce with reality.” As playwright and Jungian analyst Florida Scott-Maxwell said, “You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality.”
This amazing state of being fierce with reality is what makes you strong and powerful. When you live in reality you have integrity. It is your ability to be true to your emotional self that gives you the emotional strength you need. Having integrity gives you the courage and strength to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself.
So the solution appears to be simple. Stop trying to control yourself and be yourself. This would be easy to do if you were not judgmental and rejecting of that which you are. It is your self-judgments that control you and keep you feeling unsafe and insecure.
Consider the joys of giving up your judgments of right and wrong and good and bad. Be fierce with reality so self-acceptance becomes your reality.
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