Take Your Sexual Self Out of the Closet for Better Holistic Health

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Relax and Feel Good.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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A reader asks, “What is Sexual Health and how can I improve it?”

In the early 1980’s, a client came into my office and complained, “Why didn’t you tell me I was going to feel more sexual? I did not know this was going to happen and you never mentioned it.” She frowned at me. She was not happy she felt so “turned on” as a result of our work together.

Honestly, I never even thought about her sexual health improving as a result of teaching her to relax and feel her emotions. She had a husband, they had sex, no known sexual problem. Yet, as her anxiety level dropped more and more, her sexual energy automatically and naturally increased! To me, this was good news. To her, she was scared of her increased sexual desire.

I mention this client to help you appreciate the power and potency of your sexual energy. If you do not already have good sexual health, there is a high probability you are afraid of letting your sexuality flow freely. Therefore, when you begin to improve your sexual health, make sure you keep tabs on your anxiety all along the way if you want to be successful in unlearning your sexual inhibitions.

Let me remind you that the better your sexual health, the better your mental and physical health. This week, I will give you a definition of sexual health. Next week I will talk about ways to improve it. Sex technically refers only to intercourse, which is a biological function for reproduction. However, people today, and according to the World Health Organization, sexual health is:

“a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors.” (WHO, 2006a)

As you can see, your sexual health is involved not only with your innate physical responses but interacts with all the existing factors in your outside world. As a holistic psychologist and sex therapist I base your sexual health on your ability to love yourself and others. This means you need to love your body, sexual response, emotional expression, and spiritual energy.

First, you need to know that your sexual health does not depend on having sex with someone else. Absolutely, not! You can also have pleasurable physical organisms without being touched by another person. You can have an amazing spiritual kundalini experience without being touched by another person.

Your sexual health has to do with how you relate to your sexuality, not how someone else relates to your sexuality. For good sexual health you must know, accept, and love your own unique blend of sexual needs, desires, and responsiveness.

If you are sexually healthy you will be:
Able to let go of control and feel your body feelings
Aware of your body and how it feels when you move
Able to relax into your body as needed
Comfortable with your natural body orders
At ease touching your body for comfort and pleasure
Able to let loving people touch your body
Receptive, allowing energy into your body
Expressive, giving energy outward to others
Spontaneous and free of inhibitions
Able to love and be loved
Able to give and receive physical pleasure
Comfortable having orgasms alone and with others
Self-confident with or without a sexual partner

Write down which of these abilities you are already good at and which you need to work on. Your degree of sexual health depends on how many, how much, and how often, you enjoy these qualities and experiences. The more, the better your sexual health.

This week pay attention to how you relate to your sexual self. Is she or he “in the closet, hiding from you?” Or are you in love with your sexual self, protecting this part of you from inner or external judgments? Just notice, do not make yourself wrong about what you notice.

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GET TURNED ON: If you are stuck in your head thinking most of the time, Order “Hear Your Body Talking” and really listen with your whole body so you begin to honor your body wisdom and begin to love and take better care of your physical home. One-hour personal growth love your body audio, $29.97.

Read and order: Hear Your Body Talking: http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

SUMMER BONUS: Order before Sunday, June 28 and get another personal growth audio of your choice worth $29.97 from this list. http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get free personal growth audio.

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WANT TO RELAX AND FEEL GOOD? Learn to relax and feel your emotions so you get more turned on to life. Take the home study course, “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” five hours of emotional health audio and ten written lessons, $199.97. Money-back guarantee.

SUMMER BONUS: Order before Sunday, June 28 and get fifteen minutes of free email sessions to help you stay on course and be successful, worth $50.00.

Read more and order “Overcome Anxiety Naturally.”
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html
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FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS: The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing sexual energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook, the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” for $3.99 from Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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How to Overcome Perfectionism? Stop Anxiety From Ruining Your Life!

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Chaos is Not Dangerous.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Do you want to be perfect?
Do you find fault with people who are slow or unsure?

Perhaps you have an inner critic called “Ms. Perfect” or “Mr. Never Satisfied.” Perfectionism is a serious upper class mental health problem. Even the middle and lower classes can think being perfect has it virtues. A la the White Picket Fence Envy Syndrome of those living outside the perfect house where the perfect family live with the perfect kids and perfect jobs.

Perfect people cannot let go of control and experience colors, feelings, and emotions. Therefore, if you try to be perfect you do not enjoy vibrant moments, playful lovemaking, and heart-felt happiness. Being spontaneous, free, and joyful are rare events if you spend your time trying to be perfect.

Trying to be perfect makes you anxious and keeps you controlled. Since you are afraid of doing something wrong and bad, you severely inhibit your body and how it moves. This causes mental illness, sleepless nights, boredom, and physical diseases. Notice how much energy being perfect consumes.

Early in my career I discovered that perfect people were always afraid that if they let go of control they would be out of control. Perhaps you also need to know that when you let go of control you are not automatically in an out of control state. You may feel out of control since you are not used to chaos. Chaos is a period of time where you experience being a mess or making a mess.

If you do not have a mess or become a mess, from time to time, then you are stuck in a tiny perfect place of rigidity. Messes are part of the natural process of transformation. Chaos is not an out of control state. It is a necessary state you must accept, if you want to be successful in personal growth and make dramatic changes in your life.

Note what the scientist credited with discovering Chaos Theory, Edward Lorenz, called his paper in 1972: “Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?” Indeed it could and more. Chaos fuels personal growth, change, and transformation.

Some of you may be familiar with the ongoing story of the man in North Carolina on the CBS Evening News who is dying and finding deep meaning and purpose to his life. In March, 2015, we learned that he had tested the “butterfly effect” to see if one act of kindness in a North Carolina restaurant could go around the world. His act of kindness reached Africa.

What about you? What do you set off when you flap your wings or break free? What happens when you stop controlling yourself and create a mess? What are the results of not washing the dishes and making love instead?

We know from Chaos Theory that Mother Nature does indeed know what she is doing. Disorder, just like feeling your emotions, moves into order naturally on its own. It is safe to let go of control and enjoy the natural flow of your energy. Your natural energy flow gives you peak experiences and makes you physically stronger and mentally healthier.

On the other hand, being out of control is dangerous. Flying mental energy bolting around without awareness is dangerous. When your energy is not grounded, you are out of control. This means you need to quickly get back in your body and ground your energy so you do not hurt yourself or others.

Chaos is not dangerous. Chaos is part of nature and obeys natural laws. Go ahead and let go of control. Enjoy being an artist and free spirit, make a mess and reap the benefits of being creative and happy.

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YOUR BODY IS FOR GROUNDING! Yes, one of the three reasons you have a body is to keep your energy safe and securely grounded. Study the body awareness audio, “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking” to feel more secure letting go of control. Improve your relationship with your body for better results in relationships. Your body knows more than your conscious mind. Your body never forgets and never lies. One hour, $29.97, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/hearyourbody.html

Free Bonus: Order “3 Reasons You Have a Body: Hear Your Body Talking,” before Monday, June 22 and pick the other personal growth audio, worth $29.97, you would love to own from this list: http://www.drjeanette.com/cds.html

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CONTROLLED OR OUT OF CONTROL? The Amazon shorten version of the Opening the Heart Ebook, “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” teaches you the difference between controlled, out of control, and flowing energy in the first section. Even if you have listened to the audio or read the original Opening the Heart Ebook the edited “HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART AND STOP THE HURT: Mend Your Relationship Heartache With Self-Love” clarifies and explains in more detail the process of healing your emotional self.

Order your copy for $3.99:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-HURT-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E

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How to Grieve to Become Stronger and More Secure

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Sad with Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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Being sad with yourself is just as important as being happy with yourself. Last week we explored how genuine heart happiness is based on realistic self-love. Read The Vibrant Moment if you missed it: http://thevibrantmoment.com/?p=1510

This week we need to balance your self-love by adding genuine sadness. Yes, being sad with yourself is essential if you want to increase your self-esteem and holistic health. Sadness is powerful; it connects you with other human beings. The closest I have ever felt to another person was when they shared their heart-felt pain with me.

Genuine sadness is deep, real, and rich. You feel the texture, hear the sounds, and know the sadness is coming from deep within your heart and soul. Sometimes the sadness comes from far away, such as the cry of Mother Earth as her trees or children are being hurt.

Regular readers of The Vibrant Moment know my mother passed away January 25, 2015. Grieving her in-the-flesh loss has many up and downs as I feel my body and emotional feelings. I feel like an orphan, all alone and sad. I feel abandoned by my mother even though that does not make any rational sense. Feelings do not make sense, they make music.

Loving yourself and staying with yourself when you are sad helps you move forward through loss, grief, and sorrow. You become stronger and more secure after feeling sad. When I feel sad, it quickly changes into another emotion and I am soon laughing and having fun with my friends again.

You may also feel a piercing sadness that you have not fulfilled yourself. I feel deep sorrow I have not used more of my human potential. Feeling the profound pain of not reaching an important goal helps you recognize your heart’s desires and admit the strong fears you need to overcome in order to reach them. Let your sadness be a potent motivator to take action, instead of dismissing your heart’s desires before it is too late.

Feel sad when you feel sad, and your sadness flows into more strength, joy, and happiness. If you avoid, deny, block, or repress your sadness, your controlled energy becomes dense and dark, weighing you down. This stuck, blocked energy keeps you from moving toward your heart’s desires and makes you mentally and physically sick.

Find healthy ways to express your sorrow with any of the expressive arts. Put on sad music, look at a sad play or movie, write about your feelings, and feel connected to the human race. Sadness connects us deeply and profoundly with each other. Sadness increases your self-esteem so you fulfill your purpose in life. Sadness is food for your soul and opens the door to more joy.

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LACKING FULFILLMENT? You had a dream about being rich and did not follow through. You had a feeling you could be sick and did not heed your own wisdom. Learn to use your natural Goddess-given gifts to fulfill your heart’s desires. Get the holistic psychology help you need to accept, develop, and use your intuitive and highly sensitive nature to your advantage. Order the special report: “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person.” Thirty-one-page PDF file, $19.97. Money-back guarantee.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Success as a Highly Sensitive Person:”
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FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: Learn to be sad with yourself by listening to the “Opening the Heart” audio series. The third hour of audio, “When You’re Hurting…” teaches you how to stay with your sadness so your vital energy makes you self-confident, healthy, and strong. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross loved the “When You’re Hurting…” audio and recommended it in her newsletter. The other two hours of audio are “Feelings. the source of authentic love” and “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy.” “Opening the Heart” gives you three hours of comforting, relaxing emotional healing guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day to use as needed. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

Order “Opening the Heart” before Monday, June 15 and get the Ebook, “Opening the Heart” worth $19.97 for free. The written words have a different impact on you. Words reach the left brain and help overcome its resistance!

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FEELING SAD ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP? Learn exactly what you must do to stop your emotional pain and move forward. Relationship pain is one of the strongest motivators for personal growth. This report is helpful even if you want to keep your relationship and improve it before you lose it! Order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up.” Thirteen pages; $9.97; PDF (Adobe Acrobat Reader) format.

Read more and order “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up”:
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How to Be Heart Happy

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Be Happy With Yourself.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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While attending a psychology lecture during my graduate school days
at Baylor University, the professor said, “Never expect to make
people happy. Happiness has nothing to do with psychology.
Psychologists cannot make anyone happy.”

Imagine my feelings and emotions when I learned that one of the major
reasons I was studying to be a psychologist was not what I “should”
try to do or what I “could” do. Wow, was I depressed, inhibited,
insecure, and ejected after that lecture.

All this studying and reading and remembering the white, straight,
male psychological theories for nothing! If traditional psychology
could not even make people happy, what was I doing in graduate
school? Honestly, this was the closest I ever came to suicide. If
there was a button to push I might have pushed it. Or the other
option was to take off in my VW van, Sunshine, and travel the world.

Thankfully, I stayed to complete my doctorate degree because
somewhere deep inside, I knew my psychology professor was wrong. I
could be happy and I could teach others how to be happy. Happiness is
a Goddess-given right for all human beings. We deserve to be happy
and we can be happy. Genuinely, happy. Not, positive thinking happy.
Happy in the heart, happy.

Real happiness is closely related to real love. When you love
yourself, you are happy with yourself. When you are happy with
yourself, you love yourself. When you love someone else, you are
happy with the other person. When you love a plant or sunset, it
makes you happy!

To become happier start with something about yourself you love. Your
feet? Your heart? Your mind? Your ability to do something or other.
Notice a quality or behavior about yourself that you admire in
others. If you have trouble with this personal growth exercise, get
outside, objective help to discover the truth about yourself.

Next, notice how often during the day you pay attention to what you
love about yourself. Become more aware as you go through your
evenings of how many moments you spent giving yourself a little love
and emotional support. Give yourself a little love more often to feel
better more often.

Just make sure what you love about yourself is real and not your
puffed up ego or puffed up chest. I doubt you want to reinforce your
unhealthy, controlling energy, which would make your defensive body
language more obvious!

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INTERESTED IN A HEART HAPPY GROUP? Join a “Joy in Your Heart” group
on the phone to learn how to become happy and satisfied with
yourself, realistically! Being happy in the heart improves your heart
and breast health. Email me and let me know you want to experience
more vibrant moments and “Joy in Your Heart.” The small group will
run for four sessions for an hour and 15 minutes and cost $200.00.
Participants decide time and dates. Contact information at drjeanete.com

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FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL SELF: If you want to be a happy in the heart
listen to the “Opening the Heart” audio series. The first hour of
audio, “Feelings. the source of authentic love” guides you into
finding your emotional self and shows you how to take care of her or
him. Listen to this comforting, relaxing audio teaches you how to
feel more love for yourself and heal your emotional wounds. The other
two hours of audio are “Fear. the pathway to freedom and joy,” and
“When You’re Hurting…” Opening the Heart” gives you emotional healing
guidance at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day. $97.00,
money-back guarantee.

Read more and order now:
http://www.drjeanette.com/emotionalhealthaudio.html

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OVERCOME ANXIETY NATURALLY: Learn to feel body feelings and emotional
feelings as you shift out of mental judgments into reality. Take the
effective home study course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally to reduce the
static energy of anxiety out of your nervous system. The package includes
all you need to get started. Ten written lessons, five hours of audio
that include the Opening the Heart audio above. $199.97, money-back
guarantee.

Read more and order Overcome Anxiety Naturally:
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyonlinecourse.html

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