The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Let Go and Relax.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
I often get questions such as this: “Why is it that I cannot let go and relax?”
First, let’s define what letting go actually is: Letting go is relaxing, surrendering, flowing. An example is what you do or do not do in the natural river current. Do you go with the flow or resist the flow? To enjoy a vibrant moment, you are physically relaxed in the natural flow of energy around you.
The opposite of letting go is: posturing, deciding, controlling. When you fight to swim up stream or refuse to get in the water you are not letting go. You are controlling. You are trying to be in charge of what happens and make things the way you want them to be or not be.
Is it easy for you to relax and surrender? Or is it easy for you to control and decide? Unless you have engaged in years of personal growth, you probably are not comfortable relaxing and surrendering.
In order to let go of control and trust the reality around you you have to feel safe and secure with your ability to go with the flow. Is this river really safe and am I prepared and strong enough to go where it is going for the time I am in it? To reach this degree of physical and emotional security you must consciously examine and transform your real fears, learned anxieties, and mental judgments.
Therefore, the answer to the question, “Why is it that I cannot let go and relax?”is: You are afraid. Fear is what keeps you from letting go and relaxing. Anxiety is always involved, but underneath your irrational anxiety is a real fear (or real fears) that must be resolved in a way that allows you to be comfortable and secure.
Only when you are not afraid and anxious can you relax and surrender. This is a given. It would not be wise for you to let go and relax if you were in any real danger. Real fears must be taken seriously, and never denied. Real fears are nature’s way of keeping you safe and sane.
Regular readers of The Vibrant Moment know that since last Spring my mother’s health has been failing. I shared my initial panic at the thought of her death in April and some of my ensuring fears and anxieties during the summer. Right now, I am by her side, as she is moving out of sight into another form. Death is the ultimate letting go for both her and her children.
Invest in the time, energy, and effort that it takes to learn how to safely let go and relax as you move through real life events. There is no other psychological skill more important.
Learning how to let go and relax dramatically improves your experiences, adventures, and self-esteem. Do it.
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