The Vibrant Moment – Remember: Breathe and Feel.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Here is an emotional health question I received from an Indian woman:
“I’m a published writer and a thinker. Thus, I’m intellectually and physically mature, but emotionally, a child.
There could be a few reasons why I stayed a child emotionally. No amount of self-knowledge seems to help, as I still react like a naive schoolgirl to situations where the emotions are involved, although I’m a reasonably happy person, generally.
My question is whatever the reason for the delay, how do I now cross over from girlhood to womanhood emotionally?”
This Indian woman is well ahead of most people because she knows she is not emotionally mature. Unfortunately, many people think they are emotionally mature and they are not. If you control and manage your emotions you may think you are mature. But are you?
This intellectual Indian woman knows she reacts like a naive showgirl. Do you notice when you react like a spoilt brat? Or victim? Or self-righteous know-it-all? If not, begin to notice any knee jerk reactions that do not go through your body and heart before being expressed.
Anytime you react immediately to anything in your life, you are having a reaction. A reaction is a conditioned response. If you feel like you must immediately answer that email, return that phone call or set someone straight-beware! You are reacting.
If you get an upsetting email, phone call or you think someone is attacking you, what do you do? If you think something “bad” is happening, slow down. You are reacting. Reactions occur when you are being controlled by your past learning history.
Reactions are the opposite of emotional maturity. Reactions make you weak and ineffective in relationships. You feel insecure and unloved. Emotional maturity feels good all over! You feel secure and self-confident with yourself and others.
How can you become emotionally healthy and mature?
When anything what-so-ever happens in your life. Take a deep breath and feel your emotions. “Breathe and feel” is the mantra I use throughout the “Opening the Heart” audio because that is how I noticed and reduced my defensive reactions.
“Breathe and feel” really works. As you exhale, let go of your breath and let go of control. Invite your authentic emotions into your awareness when you say to yourself, “feel.”
The emotionally mature response in all situations is to feel your authentic emotions. Feeling your emotions takes you to a different place. Or to many different places. You could have strong, intense emotions that go in opposite directions. Most of us do!
All you have to do is feel your emotions. Accept them. Enjoy them. They are colorful clouds of matter. When you feel your emotions instead of reacting, you are secure and self-confident.
NEED HELP FEELINGS YOUR EMOTIONS? The “Breathe and feel” mantra in the “Opening the Heart” audio helps you find and experience your authentic emotions. You are lovingly guided into your solar plexus where your emotions live. The emotional health audio helps you stay with yourself so you become more secure and stronger. Learn the difference between reacting and feeling. For example, feeling sorry for yourself is not the same as feeling sadness. Three-hour audio on feelings, fear and hurt, $97.00, money-back guarantee.
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ALREADY OWN OPENING THE HEART? Once you know how you feel, then you need to learn how to be effective in expressing your emotions to others. To help you become more skillful in relationships take the Assertiveness Training home study course: “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” Use the coupon HEART to get $30.00 off. 46-page manual as a PDF file PLUS over six hours of audio as mp3s. $147.97, money back guarantee.
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READ BODY LANGUAGE: Join a six-week Skype class on Body Language in 2015 with a small group of motivated people. Your body gives you immediate feedback about whether you are in control or power. You also know what other people are feeling. Please email me and let me know if you are interested. The cost will be $300.00.