Personal Growth Tip: Wake Up to Your Human Potential With Relaxation

beachbigisland

Jump into the water! Jump into Life!

 

Follow Dr. Jeanette on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette/

Big Island Beach, Sunset, 2013

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Get Unstuck.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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Definition of Stuck: Not moving forward. Living a mundane and ordinary life. No passion and joy.

Do you work, eat, sleep and repeat the same behaviors day after day? If so, you are going through your life without feelings and emotions.  This means you are stuck in an ordinary and mundane life.

This phrase, “ordinary and mundane,” is taken from Dr. Charles Tart’s book, Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential, which I read in the late 1980s.  “The Vibrant Moment” exists to help you wake up and do a whole lot more than just get through your day.

How Awake and Alive Are You?

It is possible that ordinary consciousness may feel normal for you because you have not experienced anything else in so long you have forgotten the delicious extraordinary feelings you were born with.  Therefore, you may not be aware that you are living the moments of your life without passion, fire and joy.

On the other hand, perhaps you have enjoyed vibrant moments, peak performances and peak experiences from time to time.  However, stress and anxiety have unconsciously taken over your waking life.  As a result, you have settled back down into ordinary consciousness without even knowing it.

Or maybe you are grieving a great loss.  It is easy to get stuck in the grieving progress and become depressed instead of moving forward.  You may have dropped down out of ordinary mundane consciousness into a deeper level of depression.

Whatever the reason, you may be stuck in routine living, depression and anxiety without even knowing you are stuck in the daily grind of the walking dead.

To have more vibrant moments, you need to know when, where, how and why you are stuck.  To know when you are stuck, you have to increase your awareness. To increase your awareness, you need outside feedback that gives you some degree of objective data.

This means you need many different kinds of feedback systems that alert you to where your mental health, emotional security and body awareness are at any given moment in time.  I use mentors, groups and holistic health practitioners to wake me up and notify me that I have gotten stuck in the ordinary and mundane.  I also have my own daily feedback barometers.

Use Daily Activities to Notice When You Are Stuck

Just getting through a swim is not the same thing as enjoying a swim.  As a swimmer, I use how I feel and how much I enjoy my swim as a barometer of my state of being in the world.  I have many different kinds of swimming experiences.  Each swimming experience gives me concrete feedback about my consciousness and state of being alive.

There is the:
1. Delicious, flowing through the sensuous water with my whole body swim
2. Enjoyable, relaxing swim, where the mind is quiet and still
3. Fun, playful, feel good swim, where there is no thinking
4. Mean and lean exercise swim
5.  So-so swim, where the thoughts distracted me more than not.
6.  Did I even swim? swim, where my brain was in charge

I love swimming so much I don’t have a bad swim or a boring swim. But you may want to add bad and boring along with other specific qualities to your own feedback list.

Create Your Own Aliveness Feedback Barometer

To create your own Aliveness Barometer, think about some experience you do daily or several times a week.  For example, if you take walks, you can use your walking experiences. Make a list of all the difference kinds of walks you have.  Describe your walks honestly so that you can use each walk to increase your awareness of how present, alive and vibrant you are in the moment.

Then use your feedback to become more awake and alive.  If your feedback tells you that you are stuck in the ordinary and mundane, this means you are anxious. The less you enjoy something, the more anxious you are.

To correct the problem you need to begin to feel your body more and feel your emotions more. These two sensory experiences will start to bring more life energy into
your daily grind.

You only have one life to live. Get unstuck and allow more passion, joy and excitement into your precious moments. Reduce your anxiety and relax your body so you can perceive
the colors that are always dancing and playing around you before it is too late.

Peak performances, peak experiences and vibrant moments do not happen by accident. They happen because you show up and allow yourself to be in your body and emotions in physical reality. They happen because you reduce your anxiety and
relax into your body.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about body awareness, emotional expression and peak performances below.

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REMOVE VIBRANT MOMENT BLOCKS: Anxiety, stress and thinking too much are the major blocks that stop vibrant moments from occurring in your life.  Take the Home Study Course, Overcome Anxiety Naturally, that has helped hundreds of people reduce their anxiety and relax into their body. 10 written lessons and 5 hours of audio, including the best selling emotional health guide, “Opening the Heart.” Worth $209.94, yours for only $149.97.

Read more and order:
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FREE BONUS! Order “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” before
Monday, July 1 and get the free bonus audio, “Hear Your Body Talking”, a one-hour body language audio, $29.97.  Must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get free audio.
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GET UNSTUCK SUMMER SPECIAL: Get the personal guidance you need to enjoy more vibrant moments and peak experiences.  After the first session you know exactly what to do to move forward. Getting unstuck is not that hard when you know what to do to move forward. You will enjoy experiential sessions that are not available anywhere else. These will not be talk therapy sessions.  Pay for two holistic psychology sessions and get the third session free. Only good during the summer months, last session must be used by September 30, 2013.  Regular one hour session, $200.00. You save $200.00. Limited number available.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/privatehumanenergy.html

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Relaxation Therapy Tip: Help the Part of You that Believes Your Negative Thoughts

Follow Doris Jeanette on Twitter for daily doses of personal growth and professional development help: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette/djbag

If you live in Philadelphia you may have seen Dr. Doris Jeanette carrying her heavy groceries home on top of her head like women of old.

Derail your bully thoughts.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

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How many of you asked for feedback from someone last week that you used to improve your self-esteem?

How many of you had a peak performance because you overcame your performance anxiety?

If you did not read last week’s newsletter about peak performance and performance anxiety, you can do so now at: Peak Performance and Performance Anxiety

A reader asked an important question that goes straight to the heart of the problem many intellectual people have in overcoming performance anxiety.  “What to do when your thoughts tell you that being natural is unnatural?”

Unfortunately, the brain is a great big bully.  Your brain often gives you information that is irrational and downright wrong.  As a result, you have many subconscious and silent thoughts that are incorrect and self-destructive.

These negative thoughts are universal and have been repeatedly documented in research studies. Popular culture has made us aware that we have an Inner Critic who spews out nasty thoughts.

When negative thoughts sent out their poison, your body automatically becomes tense and tight.  When your body becomes tense and tight you are anxious.  This anxiety builds up in your nervous system, muscles and blood flow making you weak and uncomfortable so that you cannot perform at your best in any situation.

When you are anxious you are unable to:
1. Relax
2. Move
3. Express your emotions
4. Be spontaneous
5. Be open
6. Assert yourself
7. Perform at your best

So, let’s say you want to learn how to relax and have peak performances.  Maybe you want to perform better at work, be a better psychologist, play for an orchestra or be more successful in the romantic department.

Just as you begin to let go of the tension in your body, your Inner Critic tells you that you are being unnatural. If you continue to try to relax and follow the instructions from your relaxation therapist, your brain begins to attack you even more and make fun of you.

In this case, most of you can see that the Inner Critic is reversing reality on you.  Your thoughts are calling you unnatural when you are trying to become more natural.  You know this and yet these thoughts still control you and stop you from relaxing.

You already know for sure that relaxing your body is definitely natural and normal.  It is not unnatural to be in the state of relaxation.  You know that peak performances can only occur when you are relaxed and not anxious, yet you cannot relax your body.

Your toxic thoughts continue to confuse you and scare you. Your body has an automatic reaction of fear that makes you unsure of yourself.  Since you continue to listen to your toxic thoughts and let them control you, this means there is a part of you that believes them to be true.

So this is the key.

You must find the part of you who still believes these thoughts to be true and help this part of you see that these thoughts are reversing realty on you.  Then you will be able to stop believing irrational thoughts so that you can relax your body in comfort.

This is where you can improve your success rate by seeking guidance and outside feedback to help you. It is very hard to know which thoughts are false and which ones are helpful when they are your thoughts!

You will find working with a trained holistic psychologist or emotional health mentor will dramatically improve your success rate so that you stop your poisonous thoughts from tightening up your body.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about performance anxiety, relaxation and peak performances below.

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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS HELP: Stop your mental judgments from
taking center stage. Put your nasty, low self-esteem thoughts
in the trash where they belong. Use the mental health information in this
one-hour audio, “Tame Your Thoughts,” to
break free from your performance anxiety so you can relax.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/tameyourthoughts.html

FREE BONUS! Order “Tame Your Thoughts” audio before
Monday, June 24 and get the free bonus audio, “Break the Grip
of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview.” One-hour audio, $29.97.
Must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get
free audio.
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

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SUMMER PERSONAL GROWTH AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT SPECIAL: Get the personal guidance you need to sort through your thoughts and break the grip anxiety has over you.  After the first session you will know exactly what to do to unlearn your nasty beliefs so you can let go and relax. You will enjoy experiential sessions that are not available anywhere else. Your sessions will not be talk therapy or psychotherapy.  Pay for two holistic psychology sessions and get the third session free. Only good during the summer months, last session must be used by September 30, 2013.  Regular one hour session, $200.00. You save $200.00. Limited number available.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/privatehumanenergy.html

Goodbye Performance Anxiety, Hello Peak Performance

peakFollow Doris Jeanette on Twitter for daily doses of healthy suggestions: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette/

 

Let the music flow. Peak performances are fun and healthy for you. Performance anxiety stops the fun so healthy energy cannot flow through you.

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Get in the Zone.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

==========================

Since I spent the weekend with my highly motivated musical and political nephews, my creativity is amped up and renewed.  So I revisited the last survey The Vibrant Moment’s readers filled out to some fresh ideas for the content of this week’s newsletter.

The top three topics you were interested in were:
Physics
Metaphysics
Peak Performance

Wow, I forgot peak performance was number three!  I have not written about peak performance since the survey.  This learning experience is a helpful self-improvement lesson in and of itself.

Lesson Learned:

Make sure you get feedback from your personal relationships as well as your professional relationships.  Write the feedback down so you have a record of the data. Then make sure you revisit the feedback to find new ways to be successful with your personal growth and professional development along the way.

Now, to peak performance.

First, let’s definite our terms accurately.  I just did a google search and found incorrect information. Even the current Psychology Today information is incorrect on performance anxiety.

The Definition of Performance Anxiety:

Performance anxiety is a learning research term that is used to define any anxiety that occurs before or during any type of performance. It does not apply just to stage fright and public performances.  Performance anxiety applies to any activity that you may need or want to perform.  For example, taking a test, making love with your partner, reaching the moon and trying to relax.

The Definition of Peak Performance:

Peak performance is a psychological term that applies to any type of performance where you are able to relax and do your best.  We often think of sports and music.  If you saw the third game of the NBA playoffs last night, you know what I mean.  Two undrafted players “led the San Antonio Spurs to one of the best-shooting, biggest blowouts in NBA Finals history.” The San Antonio Spurs had a magical performance blowing away the stars of the Miami Heat that gave the viewers, as well as the players, plenty of goosebumps and joy.

However, anything you do could be a peak performance for you.  Anytime you relax and perform at your best, you are enjoying a peak performance.  In a relaxed state, you are able to use your human potential to its maximum based on your current skill level.

This is what gives you a peak performance.  You are able to access and use the skill you have spent hours learning and practicing to your maximum advantage at your command.  So a peak performance is based on your ability to use your innate ability and learned behavior with mastery at your will.

Performance Anxiety Blocks Peak Performances

Do you have performance anxiety? Most of us do. Just think of all the ways performance anxiety keeps you inhibited, depressed and miserable. For example, you don’t feel comfortable in your body so that you can spontaneously get up on the dance floor when the spirit moves you and show off your dancing skills. You cannot let go and have a peak performance any time or anywhere.

How can you experience a peak performance?

The answer is really quite simple. You have to remove enough anxiety from your physical body so that you can perform the task at hand. To remove the anxiety from your body, you have to stop the mental judgments coming out of your brain from taking the center stage.  When your thoughts are in control, they are always successful in making your body contract.

When you let go of control, you automatically relax.  So the solution is to let go of control and stop thinking.  In a relaxed state you will do your best without thinking about anything at all.  This is because when you relax your physical body, you automatically get in the flow or zone.  Anytime you get in the flow, you will have a peak performance for you.

The great thing about peak performances is that these wonderful experiences keep getting better and better so you have new peak performances all along the way. There is no end to how many peak performances you can have before you die. Get in your flow and enjoy more peak performances.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about performance anxiety, relaxation and peak performances below.

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PEAK PERFORMANCE HELP:  Use the information on the self-improvement audio, “How to Study Guide: 7 Study Skills to Peak Performance,” to ace your next presentation.  This material was made for college students and adults who want to work smarter, not harder. Learn how to approach your job or exams with more self- confidence.  Based on learning research, mind-body tools and holistic psychology principles. $29.97, CD or mp3, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/7studyskills.html

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TAME YOUR THOUGHTS HELP: Stop your mental judgments from taking center stage. Put your nasty, low self-esteem thoughts in the trash where they belong. Use the information in this one-hour anxiety reduction audio, “Tame Your Thoughts,” to break free from your performance anxiety so you have more peak performances.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/tameyourthoughts.html

FREE BONUS! Order either personal growth audio above before Monday, June 17 and get the free bonus audio, “Break the Grip of Anxiety Naturally: An Overview.” One-hour audio, $29.97. Must mention The Vibrant Moment in the check out box to get free audio.
http://www.drjeanette.com/anxietyaudio.html

Before You Break Up or Divorce, Take An Assertiveness Training Course

 

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Break free and assert yourself so you can live fully and richly. This is Doris Jeanette at a younger age in Williamsburg, Virginia when her name was Doris Ward.

Follow Doris Jeanette for more help in being assertive, free and happy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisJeanette/

 

 

The Vibrant Moment – Remember:  Take a breath and speak.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Doris Jeanette, Holistic Psychology Mentor, Coach
Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com
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Do your friends talk too much?
Do you talk too much?

Remember the song “You Talk Too Much”, a 1960 single hit by Joe Jones?  It was written by Fats Domino’s brother-in-law, Reginald Hall, but Fats turned down the song.  So Joe Jones made the catchy lyrics,  “You talk too much, you worry me to death,” famous.

Most of us have a friend or two who talks too much. They go on and on with their stories, concerns and ideas. They do not take a breath and give us room to talk and respond to what they are saying.  Instead, they control the conversation. Ugh.

Talking too much is a sign of high anxiety. In general, the higher the pitch, the higher the anxiety. The louder the voice, the higher the anxiety. The faster the speech, the higher the anxiety.

So, what do you do when one of your friends talk too much? Do you smile and act polite in the moment and avoid her in the future? This is how the majority of people respond.  People tend to avoid people who talk too much.

I have even noticed, during my 36 years of couples therapy, that people are more prepared to leave their relationship and break up than tell their partner the truth.  At the beginning of couples therapy, almost 95% of the time one person in the relationship is planning on breaking up because she wants to avoid the other person’s controlling behavior.

This means that a woman would rather leave her marriage or break up with her lover than tell her partner the truth about something that he or she is doing that is controlling and hurtful.  When you really stop to think about it, this is an amazing statistic.  How could it be easier to go through a break up or divorce than to tell your partner what you need to tell her or him so that you can grow and flourish in the relationship?

In reality, it is not easier to break up your relationships, it is easier to engage in effective personal growth.   Instead of avoiding your friend who talks too much, you could become more effective and powerful in your relationship with her. You could learn how to speak up and take care of yourself.  Then you can keep her as a friend and not have to sit there politely controlled by her anxiety ever again.

You can be assertive, stand up for yourself and create a big wide world for you to live in with lots of healthy relationships.

Please share your thoughts, feelings and feedback about relationships, assertiveness and marriage conflicts below.

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FIGHTING? PREVENT BREAK UP OR DIVORCE: Consider taking the steps that empower you in relationships so that you do not have to break up or get a divorce.  The special report, “7 Steps to Becoming Stronger After a Divorce or Break Up,” can be used as a preventive measure or use it to heal your heart after a painful divorce or break up. PDF file, $9.97, money back guarantee.

Read more and order:
http://www.drjeanette.com/divorcebreakupreport.html

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STAND UP TO CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR:  Learn the interpersonal skills you need so you can communicate to your friend who talks too much that you are no longer interested in listening.  Then you do not have to go through life avoiding people. Take the Home Study Course, “Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence.” This Assertiveness Training course includes the regular information in any good Assertiveness Training course plus a holistic, energy point of view that makes you even more effective in dealing with people. Money back guarantee, six lessons and over 9 hours of audio, $149.97.

Read more and order your Assertiveness Training course:
http://www.drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html

Order by Monday, June 10 and get the one hour “Introduction to Body Language” audio worth $49.97. This audio is rarely available for sale. Must mention The Vibrant Moment to get free body language audio.

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Read more and order:
http://www.amazon.com/HEAL-BROKEN-HEART-STOP-ebook/dp/B00AO7DU2E/
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